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back to article You CAN'T be a Silicon Roundabout hipster... you don't have Bluetooth socks

Hipsters concerned that their footwear is lagging in the cool stakes will soon be ordering Bluetooth-enabled socks, even if they do make them look like a young offender with an electronic tag. The Sensoria sock monitors impact across the toes and heel of the foot as the wearer runs, providing helpful advice about stride and …

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This just in from The Chocolate Factory. Google Glass will soon integrate with a new line of garments, including the Nexus bra (in partnership with Playtex) that adjusts the wearers cleavage based on location tracking.

MicroSoft will also be releasing their belated entry into the market, resurrecting Clippy who will inform the wearer when their garments need to be changed. "I see you've soiled your pants again Dave, do you want help finding the nearest launderette?"

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Gimp

adjusts the wearers cleavage based on location tracking

Version 2 raises or lowers the hod carrier's shorts based on proximity to building site

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Microsoft's new productline named Microslut, will among other include a vaginal ring to check if any of the females in your family have unsanctioned sex. Ofcourse bluetooth enabled and connected to the cloud to make sure there is a skydrive involved.

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Anonymous Coward

Why would microsoft be using technology from bskyb?

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Bluetooth Underpants

Each one is linked to your twitter account and updates include:

* When you take a dump

* Pausing for a piss

* Length of time spent having sex

* When you last laundered them

Give me 160k and I'll put a prototype together. Hint: the prototype will probably be a T68i stuffed down a set of Y-fronts.

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Boffin

Re: Bluetooth Underpants

With integrated penylplethysmograph with output monitored by your significant other?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bluetooth Underpants

Excellent. This should integrate well with my new fartr website (or maybe parpr, I'm not sure yet). I'll sort out the API specs and we should make a pitch at Bong! in order to wangle us an investment catapult .

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Re: fartr

You jest, but Stool-R is under dev during substance enhanced programming sessions for your Bristol scaling needs. Naturally we favour a phone-based point and shoot interface instead of a special tool/item as it will lead to people dropping smartphones on their poo while attempting to perfectly frame the loo.

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Joke

Google socks ?

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Quite useful actually

This is actually quite useful, speaking as a victim of podiatrists :-)

Currently you can either run across a pad or be filmed running on a treadmill: this sort of data could help a lot of people diagnose issues.

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Silver badge

I'm somewhat reminded of TBBT

Sheldon Cooper: Perhaps we could expand our market.

Penny: How are flower barrettes fancy socks gonna appeal to men?

Howard Wolowitz: We add Bluetooth!

Sheldon Cooper: Brilliant! Men love Bluetooth!

Penny: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You want to make a hair barrette fancy sock with Bluetooth?

Sheldon Cooper: Penny - Everything is better with Bluetooth.

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Re: I'm somewhat reminded of TBBT

> Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Really?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23575249

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xyz
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Twats

Nothing else to say on this really

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I'd be interested in some silicon roundabout socks that could cure verrucas and a pair of underpants that could poke my hemorroids back in when they popped out.

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Bro, do you even run?

There's some serious heal striking going on in that video!

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Devil

The Bluetooth gurnometer is already on the drawing board. Runners need that angsty pain-wracked fizzog to convince their fellow competintive alpha joggers that they've just peebee-ed in their pants.

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