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back to article Sammy had Sweet Fanny Adams to do with Swiss Fanny madam's blast

Last week's thigh-roasting "Samsung" smartphone battery has turned out not to be from Samsung at all - proving yet again the hazardous nature of cheap knockoff batts. When 18-year-old Fanny Schlatter's pocket went off like a firecracker the finger was quickly pointed at the battery in her Sammy Galaxy S3. But an investigation …

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So...

instead of the nice payout she was expecting, she's now the poster child for "don't buy counterfeit goods". Along with the electric chinese gentleman.

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Re: So...

However the previous article suggests she will have time to sue not that she had any intentions of suing.

So I don’t know if she was expecting a payout.

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Yag

Re: So...

If only... It's probably not a "counterfeit" battery, but just a cheap 100% legal one.

It might even be the same manufacturer as for the 787's infamous ones.

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FAIL

Re: So...

100% legal battery not made by Samsung with a Samsung logo on it? Might want to re-check your definition of counterfeit.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So...

"..the electric chinese gentleman.."

Is that a euphemism?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So...

我的灌木丛着火 as the Chinese would say.

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Thumb Up

Re: So...

I just had to look that up on Google Translate.

Cracked me up. Up vote for you AC!!!

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Coat

Re: So...

instead of the nice payout she was expecting, she's now the poster child for "don't buy counterfeit goods"

"You wouldn't download a battery..."

Or something.

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Re: So...

The accident insurance will pay.

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Joke

Re: So... @AC 20.09

Is that anything like "ah so" in English?

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Mushroom

Re: So...

She may not even have known it was counterfeit. When I was buying a replacement battery for my Nokia, the warnings were not to check that it had a hologram sticker, but to actually check the hologram did the correct thing (right number of fingers on the hands, and that sort of thing)

Apparently, the fake holograms are now almost as good as the real thing and very hard to spot.

// too cheap to believe isn't reliable either -- selling off old stock at a discount as a new phone comes out, etc.

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Re: So...

I have two samsung phones. Nether have a hologram on the battery.

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FAIL

you wouldn't believe how hard it can be to get an original battery!

I was trying to buy a replacement for my wife's Motorola phone: I skipped ebay, expecting a high chance of counterfeit batteries and went to Amazon instead. (my worry was merely about poor performance, I hadn't really thought of explosions at the time ><)

I searched "MB525 original battery"

A load of adverts claiming to be original batteries popped up, strangely containing widely varying customer reviews. After quickly checking the overall ratio of 1 or 2 star reviews, I started reading, and a pretty high amount of reviews stated that there were indicators that the battery they received wasn't really original Motorola. Some of them were simply not recognized by their phones, refusing operation entirely.

I picked one of those sellers and sent an inquiry, if they could guarantee that the battery was not counterfeit... I haven't received a response yet, and I still don't have a battery ><

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Yag
Facepalm

"100% legal battery not made by Samsung with a Samsung logo on it?"

Erm.... My bad.

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ooops.

And no doubt voids any insurance she may of had on it as well.

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Megaphone

Re: ooops.

MAY *HAVE* HAD!

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Headmaster

Re: ooops.

Wasting your time these days - they don't seem to teach properly grammaratical stuff these days!

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Anonymous Coward

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and buy from those nasty national and multi-national suppliers, as they are more likely to have direct supply deals with Samsung, Canon, Sony etc. and not be buying from Dodgy Dave's Discount Importers on the local trading estate.

Big retail chains are an easy target for trading standards and, in theory anyway, should be ensuring that Samsung batteries are from Samsung.

No guarantees of course, but if you buy a "genuine" replacement battery, and it turns out not to be, you can at least resort to taking the shop to court, if not the manufacturer. Chances of tracking down a Sunday market stall holder or car booter are a lot slimmer than a bricks-and-mortar retailer.

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This. I had the option of getting a 'pattern' replacement battery for my Macbook, but as the official Apple unit was only some £30 more I went with it. I'd rather spend £30 extra now than spend £500 replacing the fecking laptop.

Steven R

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How fortunate for you that you have one of the few Apple products that you can change the battery in.

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Trollface

Yes yes, come back when you have something constructive to say.

Ironically, I use ebay specials in my Canon 40D with £800 of glass on it.

I should probably do something about that...

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Thats a valid argument on an out of warranty camera but if you've paid 3k just for the warranty on your camera why invalidate it to save 50 bucks on a battery.

Personally I use oem batteries in my canon and phaseone gear, not because they're more reliable but because if theres an issue I don't want them to be able weasel out of the warranties. Does it cost a few hundred bucks extra, sure, but it doesn't cost 40k to replace a back or 6k for a dslr body.

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I found an Energizer replacement battery for our work digital camera. Camera not really worth the £40 Olympus wanted, Energizer replacement £10 instead of £5 for dodgy no-name. So well worth a punt.

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Definitely , it's a decision that has to be made on a case by case basis. I found amazon a good place for non oem batteries, ones with 1000+ 5* ratings and an average 4.5 rating is usually a fair bet. I have some for a pm1 for underwater stuff. It was only 500 bucks with a housing so it gets 10 dollar batteries. If it dies its only 100 bucks for another one used.

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On the one hand

I feel very sorry for her. I mean not only did she take a critical hit to the leg from an IED (read fake battery) but now she's not getting any payout from it. Unless of course she sues the person she bought it from.

On the other hand, you get what you paid for. I'm just glad the fake PSP battery I bought decided to die by not charging, rather than blowing up.

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Anonymous Coward

You pays yer money, and roll the dice for 3rd party replacement parts. Same goes for chargers.

I bought one off a well-know internet-based auction website which was branded 'Samsung' and boy did it get hot, I could smell superheated plastic. Since it was a penny less than a fiver I just stuck it in the electrical recycling bin at the local tip after snipping the cable in two. I shall have to pay over the odds for a 'real' charger but at least it won't set fire to the carpet.

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Problem is the cost of originals.........

.......and trying to find them among the morass of fakes on the leading e-tail sites.

In part I blame the original manufacturers for their premium prices and failing to police their brand identity against the fakers.

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Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

Perhaps the cost of the original equipment is because they are safety tested, rated and use quality components.

If it looks to good to be true, it usually is.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

Agree.

On a certain website (name no names but rhymes with "Atherton") there were ridiculously cheap USB adaptors for the Samsung Tab. Thinking these to be beyond doubt of questionable value, I then fund s oem with a nice picture of the real deal and the words "Genuine" in the title and description. Fortunately reviews of said product made it quite clear these were not what they claimed to be but just a different knock-off from China.

Would bringing the misdirection of the seller to the websites operators have an effect - I didn't think it would.

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Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

An issue related to cost and originality is the vast range of different battery shapes deployed, I suspect to maintain a grip on the replacement market.

I've just been overhauling 4 laptops of 4 different brands --all are similar in shape and size, 3 have a strong family resemblance -- suggesting that they have come from the same factory in China. All use PSUs of 19.5 volts. The batteries are all about the same size.

But each is shaped differently.

Camera and mobile phone batteries, similar picture -- in fact some brands chip their batteries and design the camera to reject batteries lacking the chip.

I believe the EU has belatedly introduced rules to reduce the waste associated with pointlessly different phone chargers. Time we told the largely US, Japanese and Chinese manufacturers that if they want to sell in the EU, batteries should be more interchangeable between models and brands.

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Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

Re; "Atherton" "Would bringing the misdirection of the seller to the websites operators have an effect - I didn't think it would."

And you are correct in that -- "Atherton" increasingly seem to be relying on outside suppliers and they do not really care about those independent suppliers' business practices. 30 day limit on defective returns, etc. I received a product that was considerably different from the image shown on their website (not in original mfr's package, but was shown as such in the image). "Atherton" showed a complete lack of concern when I pointed it out to them, vendor merely offered a refund.

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Mushroom

Doesn't matter...

There is always someone you can sue... batteries shouldn't explode you know...

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Headmaster

Re: Doesn't matter...

The fun thing about the real world is that it doesn't care about a "shouldn't".

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Headline excellence...

... once again:

> "... SWEET FANNY ADAMS TO DO WITH SWISS FANNY MADAM'S... "

Outstanding!

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Unhappy

Re: Headline excellence...

"Outstanding!"

Or maybe not. I can't see the few female readers of the Reg being amused. Even I don't find it funny, and I'm a sexist old dinosaur in so many ways, and an appreciative reader of Viz.

And then they wonder why so few women go into tech. Wouldn't be the whiff of misogyny and flatulence that lingers over IT, would it?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Headline excellence...

OK - what part was sexist? The madam?

Or did you just not understand it and were having a bad day?

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Thumb Down

Re: Headline excellence...

"OK - what part was sexist? The madam?"

You pathetic knob. If you really can't see why women might take offence, then I'm not going to explain it to you. Care to repost under your normal pseud, so we can bear it in mind in future?

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Re: Ledswinger

FWIW I would never write a misogynistic headline.

"If you really can't see why women might take offence, then I'm not going to explain it to you."

My girlfriend didn't see anything wrong with it when I showed her after work. I recommend reading Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman". Essential reading for feminists, male and female.

C.

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FAIL

Re: Ledswinger

"My girlfriend didn't see anything wrong with it when I showed her after work. I recommend reading Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman". Essential reading for feminists,"

Thank you for the patronising advice. Re-reading my post, do you think I was claiming any moral high ground?

But regardless of what your girlfriend might think, I know my wife and female colleagues would be offended. You certainly can't please all the people all of the time, and a perusal of my output will show that I'm not above some gutter language but this came across as gratuitous and sexist.

An interesting challenge for you: The lady in question is quite pleasant looking. Would the headlines have been the same if she'd looked like Mo Mowlem?

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Re: Ledswinger

Her name is Fanny, the headline is a play on her name, which 'titter' also happens to be a slang term for a front/back lady parts depending on which side of the Atlantic you are on.

Perhaps you should stop being offended on other peoples behalf you try hard dullard

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Re: Madam

Also, "madam" in Europe doesn't mean what apparently it tends to in the United States. In this context it might imply a young woman who puts on airs, or whose complaint doesn't deserve to be taken as seriously as she expects. But that is rather unfair if indeed she had a reasonable belief that she was using genuine Samsung hardware, because it said so.

In America, of course, "madam" means that you run a brothel.

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Re: Ledswinger

"Would the headlines have been the same if she'd looked like Mo Mowlem?"

Er, yes. You guys are reading into madam way too much.

C.

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Re: Ledswinger

PS...

"Thank you for the patronising advice"

Says the guy calling someone else a "pathetic knob". Give over.

C.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Ledswinger

Hold on, diodesign.

1) Shouldn't you have a Vulture Gong instead of the Gold Gong meant for the Hoi Polloi?

2) Aren't you the moderatrix of yesteryear?

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Re: Ledswinger

1) That's a bronze gong.

2) Cooo, inturresting theory.

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@Ledswinger

You are Adria Richards and I claim my £5.

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Re: Ledswinger

In all fairness el reg is an equal oppertunities piss taker. Anybody and anything is fair game. It isn't so much an issue of sexism so much as tone and the tone should not be news to anyone familiar with this site. At least that is how I see it, I respect you feel differently.

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FAIL

Re: Ledswinger

"But regardless of what your girlfriend might think, I know my wife and female colleagues would be offended."

Well then perhaps your wife and your female colleagues should get their minds out of the gutter?

"Sweet fanny adams" to imply that there is no connection between one thing and the other, the pun here being that the lady's name is "Fanny"

"swiss fanny madam's" repeating her name and choosing madam (because, you know, she's a WOMAN and madam can be a form of address for a WOMAN) to create a rhyme, prefixed with "swiss" to help the cadence of the sentence.

If you have to twist that round into some sort of sexual overtones can I respectfully suggest that you take yourself of for some therapy you 21st Century Mary Whitehouse twit.

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Re: Headline excellence...

"If you really can't see why .... then I'm not going to explain it to you."

@Ledswinger If anyone had any doubts that you were a genuine female Reg reader (rather than just a guy trolling) then you squashed that right there.

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