back to article Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to PORN

A self-confessed porn addict is sueing Apple after he claims he became so hooked on watching rude videos that his wife left him. Tennessee man Chris Sevier, 36, has filed a 50-page complaint with the state's supreme court in which he slams the fruity firm for failing to install a blue movie filter on new devices. He wants Apple …

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Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Yes I did.

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Happy

Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Rest assured, there are worse reasons for joining ;-)

Welcome aboard

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Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

I see you have quickly adopted the general tone of comments for stories like this. You may wish to put the word "Bellend" on a keyboard shortcut for future commenting.

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Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

One of us! One of us!

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Icon says it all...

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I think the bell end was his major problem. Perhaps we should also sue our OEM PC vendors for not providing a shortcut entitled bellend on the keyboard, I for one could use this with alarming frequency when responding to corporate emails.

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Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

I'd upvote you, but you have 69 thumbs up and I don't want to be the one spoiling that.

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Holmes

Perhaps we should also sue our OEM PC vendors for not providing a shortcut entitled bellend on the keyboard

"End" is already there as a key, "Bell" is Ctrl-G, so that's two keystrokes (of which one chord) instead of six.

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Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Welcome to the herd! ;)

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Happy

Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Welcome friend, you shall fit in well.

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Re: Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?

Can I just say - 120 upvotes - an impressive opening round there! I think that is scientific enough to undoubtedly say that porn bloke is indeed an high order bellend!

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Does this excuse still work?

has this excuse not been done to death?

It was not my fault its the (insert anything you want here)

This is the sort of thing you would expect on Jeramy Kyle from the inbreed retards their actors portray so successfully (at least I hope some are actors or we have living proof on what happens when Darwin's theory's are broken by modern medicine)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Does this excuse still work?

"at least I hope some are actors "

Afraid not. These are our peers. Apparently!

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Gimp

Re: Does this excuse still work?

"It was not my fault its the (insert anything WEALTHY here)"

FTFY

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Joke

@Gordon Re: Does this excuse still work?

>It was not my fault its the (insert anything you want here)

Were those brackets meant to be quotation marks?

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Re: @Gordon Does this excuse still work?

@Havin_it

Yes :(

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Joke

No chance.

It won't stand up in court.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: No chance.

That's what the viagra is for... oh wait.

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Bub

Re: No chance.

He should put it in the hands of his solicitor then.

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Epiphany

I was genuinely unaware that my penchant for staging the six inch olypics on a regular basis, was entirely beyond my control. Far from blaming Apple et al, I actually would like to go further back and blame Paul Raymond for not explicitely informing me that the contents of his special interest magazines in the 80s could potentially cause arousal.

In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest.

Think I'll sue her as well.

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Coat

Re: Epiphany

"In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest."

Pics or it didn't happen!

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Re: Epiphany

> In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest.

> Think I'll sue her as well.

I think the legal cost would outweigh your dry cleaning bill.

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Re: Epiphany

In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest.

I can understand that. I recall the amount of News 24 I watched went up quite sharply when Joanna Gosling went through her strawberry blonde phase 10-15 years back. Never been the same since she went back to shorter and ordinary blonde hair.

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Joke

Re: Epiphany

My first thought on reading that was blimey, has News 24 been around that long?

My second thought was "I wonder if I google Joanna Gosling Redhead', will I get good results?".

Add me to the lawsuit.

Steven R

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Re: Epiphany

It was pretty warm on the tube. Unless your wife was also on a tube (proper tube, not one of the pansy air-conditioned S-stock) then I suspect the girl you mention was hotter than her.

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Chancer

Yeah sure, U / A and K / E are so close together on the keyboard

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Re: Chancer

I think he's holding it wrong

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Childcatcher

Re: Chancer

Although A / E and U / K are potentially not too far from each other.

And I know from my own experiences I often get the order of letters wrong when the fingers are in full flow (although I don't remember having been that fortunate in my misspellings, I usually jet get wiggly red lines).

But the case is billshut

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Re: Chancer

Depends, if it was an iOS device, maybe it corrected or predicted his typing based on previous use of the F word.

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xyz
Paris Hilton

Re: Chancer

...surely you mean tosser (and you don't even have to put allegedly after it) Paris obviously. I can just see him on lastMinute...Paris, one night.

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Coat

Re: Chancer

Perhaps he uses a Dvorak keyboard because he finds it easier when his other hand is occupied. But he's probably a hunt and pecker anyway.

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So, the man's a lawyer, therefore he's a natural wanker...

What's the problem?

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I'm sure sueing Apple and getting so much publicity won't impact his chances of finding love in the future ;-) Isn't this termed 'doing a mosley'.

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"

"So, the man's a lawyer, therefore he's a natural wanker..."

There's a difference?

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Pint

"So, the man's a lawyer, therefore he's a natural wanker..."

There's a difference?

Having never seen or heard of an unnatural wanker, I wouldn't like to say!

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I concur

This smut must be banned from all devices everywhere. In fact, why is he stopping his lawsuit at apple? Apple block porn where they can from the app store, the only way he found it was through the internet, a product which doesn't belong to apple. He should be suing the makers of the internet, or perhaps his ISP for allowing him access.

And waht about suing facebook? It was their url he was searching for at the time, so it must be part their fault, although how he could have put u rather than a, and k rather than e when they're on different sides of the keyboard to one another is beyond me, he still has a legal case dammit.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I concur

It does sound a bit strange.

It's like someone suing the highways agency for building roads that they use to go buy crack.

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Pirate

Re: I concur

I googled for salacious titillation and arrived at vexatious litigation. Could happen to anyone, clearly.

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I bought a brick the other day. The good folk at the builder's merchants didn't warn me that dropping it on my foot would hurt, even though they must have known this.

***

Hell, I wear prescription glasses- I wouldn't sue my optician for enabling me to see things that aren't good for me.

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Trollface

Of course you wouldnt sue your optometrist...

... but then again you're not a lawyer...

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Ever heard of Wonko the Sane? Douglas Adams must have seen this coming!

Er... maybe I should rephrase that! *^^*

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Porn addict?

Sounds like a bit of a tosser to me!

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Prevention

Apple Inc. has installed a two level protection system that has been shown to prevent porn addiction. Our innovations include hardware tools standard on all Apple computers:

- A 'Mouse' which allows the user to select what media can be viewed.

- A 'keyboard' which allows the user to direct their browser to any of the hundreds of millions of websites that do not contain adult material.

Apple Inc.

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Happy

@Don

Not good enough. The poor guy was obviously using one hand for private negotiations which leaves him kinda incapacitated when it comes to mouse or keyboard usage ;)

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Facepalm

Somebody

Really, really, really, needs to get a life.

I thought the US ethos was all about citizens taking responsibility (not a bad thing) and small government (the jury is out on that one). This person seems to think responsibility ends when there is a rich company you might fleece. I am not a fan of Apple or its products, but in this case I have no choice but to side with Apple.

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Re: Somebody

The ethos of America is personal responsibility. However, that does not mean that it is the ethos of the American *government*.

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Re: Somebody

"The ethos of America is personal responsibility." - really? Isn't that "personal responsibility" defined as "it's your fault"?

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Big Brother

Re: Somebody

That all depend on who you are listening to. The Republican party is all about personal responsibility and small government; on the other hand the Democrats are all for the government to protect the people and for a larger government.

Of course this is in theory, in practice its just a colossal cluster-fuck of yelling and mud-slinging.

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Anonymous Coward

Is there no such thing as self-control and personal responsibility any more?

Or do we really want Apple, Google and Microsoft dictating what we can do with technology?

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WTF?

The guy needs help

not from a lawyer, from a psychiatrist. And not for his porn addiction.

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