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back to article Icahn suggests pumping Mikey Dell for dollars hard over a court bench

Activist investor Carl Icahn has urged his fellow Dell shareholders to join him in trying to get a higher price for their stockholdings in court. Icahn has written a letter to investors telling them they should reject the $24.4bn buyout offer to take the firm private lodged by company founder Mike Dell and Silver Lake Partners, …

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Sil

Dear Shareholders

Dear Shareholders,

When Michael announced his intention to get Dell Corp. private I saw a great opportunity to do a quick buck doing nothing, as always.

My plan was to buy lots of shares on the cheap then have Michael up his bid a lot. But he won't so my investment is worthless and I have potentially lost a tidy sum of money, as well as the partners I brought in this mess.

Then I tried to get the board to choose a solution that would essentially siphon all Dell Corp's money (and shorten its future as well) so that I can get a big one time dividend and go on the beach already. After that we could have sold Dell piece by piece, fired most employees and earned lots of money to finance our pina-coladas.

It is very unfortunate that not all shareholders agree with me.

Therefore I will sue Dell Corp. to death until I get some sort of compensation for having placed a bad bet. I hope you are ready because I have nothing else to do. My 4G works very well on the beach and my lawyers know what they have to do anyway.

Cheers,

Carl ICahn & Will F..k You

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LPF
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Re: Dear Shareholders

The only problem with this site is that I can only upvote your post once, Take a bow Son , take a bow!!

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Re: Dear Shareholders

Hilarious,

Possibly one of the most satirical comments I've ever read on the reg.

+1

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Re: Dear Shareholders

"The only problem with this site is that I can only upvote your post once, Take a bow Son , take a bow!!"

Whilst in general having only one vote is probably a good thing, in this particular instance I have to wholeheartedly agree.

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Silver badge

an alternative debt-restructuring plan

Borrow lots of money...

Give it to me!

Then...

don't care.

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Silver badge

Someone should probably tell Carl that "you can't eat your cake and have it too" makes a lot more sense than the oft-repeated corruption "you can't have your cake and eat it too".

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Childcatcher

Money for Nothing?

Luckily most anyone with a stake in Dell seem to have realized what's good for Carl and friends isn't necessarily good for anyone else.

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