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back to article Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

Mark this one down in your diaries, Reg readers: October 18th is the first World Vasectomy Day, and if you're game you'll be able to get the snip for free by agreeing to have the operation streamed online. The host for this spectacle will be the Royal Institution of Australia (RiAus), which thinks the day and its message of …

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Sadly, a decade to late

and I'm not sure mine would have been what they are looking for. A truly excruciatingly painful experience involving a mid surgery spat with the surgeon, and later, massive bilateral haematomas.

They looked like aubergines (yes, colour AND shape), and I walked with a stick and old cowboy gait for weeks.

Oh wait. This is the sick and twisted interweb were talking about. Would have been perfect.

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Re: Sadly, a decade to late

You had a mid procedure spat with the doc?

I won't argue with anyone holding a sharp object near my meat and two veg next month... Yikes!

Sorry it went so poorly for you. :(

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Gold badge

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

I described the effects as exactly like being kicked in the bollocks by a horse, only without feeling the kick.

Also, here's a tip: If you need to travel to have your knackers snipped, do not take your sports car to your local station. You will regret it deeply on your return, when trying to get into the bloody thing with the anaesthetic now worn off.

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Happy

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

While I wouldn't call mine a pleasurable experience, it certainly was nothing like the OP's experience. I walked like John Wayne for about a week and had to be careful sitting down, but the old man was active again within five days and I haven't looked back since.

I have heard that the reversal operation is dreadful though, bur that isn't on the cards for me.

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I call "bollocks"

>do not take your sports car

I cycled to and from the clinic for my vasectomy, amd I do use a hard seat on my bicycle.

And yes it does hurt but nothing terrible, at all.

All sorts of complications can happen but by and large, it's rare. And nothing compared to the kinds of complications non-vasectomies can cause, mostly but not exclusively on the other half of the beast-with-two-backs, if I may say so.

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Re: Sadly, a decade to late

mmmm I too am a couple of decades too late but had none of the effects you vividly describe. My sympathies old man!

Would I have it done for free while others watched? Probably not.

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Re: Sadly, a decade to late

The worst thing about my op was not being able to shower for a few days afterwards. Slightly tender down below for a week, but nothing major - didn't cycle to work for a few weeks after the op though. Being a complete wuss, I also opted for a general, rather than a local - didn't want the surgeon being distracted by what was going on at the other end of the table (a mid procedure spats sounds horrific!).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

Had a nice chat with the guy who did mine, during the whole op, kept me occupied. Single incision, slight lump afterwards, felt like my tessies were overfilled and achy for a few weeks, then fine.

Like any op/procedure, most go absolutely fine, just the occasional bad experience.

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Re: I call "bollocks"

Your mileage may vary.

Apparently complications are not as rare as they would have you believe.

And I know someone who fathered 2 children afterwards, so it doesn't always work, either...

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Re: Sadly, a decade to late

@ James12345 you big girls blouse! I had local for mine. They even gave me a top up when I screamed during the first incision so it all worked out.

No problems afterwoods. Highly recommend getting one.

Oh and over population? Myth. In any case, if we're going to control it with vasectomies we'll see all the economically productive and higher IQ people die out. Not sure how that's supposed to be helpful.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I call "bollocks"

I had a similar experience. The op was a little uncomfortable but not painful. Afterwards I had a slightly dull ache but nothing like being hit in the jewels with anything of substance.

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Unhappy

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

Local here too.

They said that getting the anaesthetic would be the worst part of the whole process. One small jab later and I was smirking at that being the worst on offer. What they failed to mention was that its not the jab itself, but the sensation of having one's nuts crushed in a bench vice as the stuff takes effect for the next 20 or so seconds that's the nasty bit.

Subsequently feeling the actual op and requiring that top-up was fairly trivial by comparison....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I call "bollocks"

I didn't cycle home from the Drs but I was back cycle commuting after the weekend.

Only one set of paracet (just before I walked out of the Drs) was needed.

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Coat

Re: I call "bollocks"

I cycled to and from the clinic for my vasectomy, amd I do use a hard seat on my bicycle.

I note with interest that you didn't mention you had that actually fitted when you went there :)

No, no, later. I'll be here all week.

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Terminator

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

In another decade or two, your progeny will be all the more harshly confronted by those more determined to breed like rabbits; and no, I am not of the school that pretends Erlich's long ago writing had no validity, though overstated for the time, his conclusions will in the end come to pass.

Those who have irresponsibly been breeding like rabbits will breifly inherit control until all becomes unsustainable, or at least irreparably broken.

Don't think it will be in my lifetime, but certainly well before the middle of the next century.

Meanwhile, we have a stream of commentards being displaced by the rabbit-like breeding people centering the discussion on the extent to which self-emasculation (and purely for sex free of responsibilty)hurt.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sadly, a decade to late

Sorry to hear that. Mine went without a hitch. The doc even gave me a little plastic container with the bits he'd cut out in to take home as a souvenir!

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Joke

Think of the^H^H^H our children

Eadon ? Eadon ! Come over here mate, something for you to sign....

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Joke

Re: Think of the^H^H^H our children

Surely Eadon would only be interested if it was open sores.

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I applaud folks that are willing to deal with the population crisis...

...by taking a hands on approach. They're truly a cut above.

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Go

Free !

Looks a snip of a deal.

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Silver badge

In the UK it is free, and I have just signed up.

As for letting someone watch the procedure, well it is a well respected training hospital that I use. So ALL procedures I say yes to spectators. That way you get a top surgeon that is so well respected he allowed to train, and you also get the very very best in pre and post care. As well as a top notch job.

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Joke

the notches are at the lower end....

I was asked on arrival "do you mind if this (female) doctor observes ?"

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Anonymous Coward

Female nurse for my op - don't forget they have seen it all before. Many many many times. No-one is interested in your bits....just the surgical technique.

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Meh

Female nurses at mine, too.

One of them offered to hold my hand! I declined, and got an electric shock from the trolley, so i assume the doctor hadn't been earthed properly.

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The Biggest Dissapointment...

....when I went for mine was to be told it could not be done retrospectively and I still have to keep the kids I already made........

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Coat

I had the snip...

... can't say it made a vas deferens to my life.

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Thumb Up

' The Jon - Re: I had the snip...

O M G

That was baaad. Worth a Terry Pratchett Award!

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Mushroom

Re: I had the snip...

Lovely line from you.

... but more than a little shocked by the number of commentards who've had the procedure and want to post abt it, oh well, replacement will ensue, nature abhors a vacuum and far less responsible folk rush to fill it right now.

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Anonymous Coward

Failed porn star....

I remember laying there with two pretty young nurses, one either side of me, and one of them peeling back the cloth to expose the old man. All I could think of was, it's like something out of a cheap porn film... only, instead of rising to the occasion and inviting them for "one last hurrah", the anaesthetic (or anti-viagra) had kicked in, and it was the most pathetic specimen known to man. The final insult was the doc asking one of the nurses to move it out of the way, so he could make the incision, and her picking it up with one finger and thumb, two would've been overkill, and lifting it as you would a used tissue of unknown origin.

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Anonymous Coward

It is free.

There are only two things that have to happen.

Firstly, they have to check with your wife that's it's ok with her. They do this so she knows you're having it, so she can start to wear protection with her lovers.

Secondly, they get you on tape agreeing to it.

But thereafter it costs nothing.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It is free.

Well, they never asked my other half...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It is free.

She was probably asked when she went in for something else, something like "it's good you two are considering a vasectomy." Or your wife probably told them about it.

It's quite subtle.

Or maybe you've a mail doctor.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It is free.

Well, they never asked my other half...

This procedure only works on males :)

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MJI
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WTF?

Too squeamish!

Scares me.

Would rather have another child than my bits chopped around.

My wife would not mind a no. 4, nor would the twins. Daughter doesn't like the idea as her room would get used!

I have joked that we could level the playing field, (chavs outbreeding the clever people). Eldest is down for 5 A levels.

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Pint

I said "More Ale," not Mohel! ( http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Moel )

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I hope they will be using....

...the Windows Snipping Tool.

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Joke

You can have my gonads...

...when you pry them from my, erm... that didn't come out right (said the nun to the bishop).

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Facepalm

Lights! Camera! Action!

... and Cut!

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I want to know how long they think this op is going to take. In the UK there seems to be 2 versions:

1) Have it in hospital which requires a 4 - 6 hour wait around, some surgeon who was doing a varicose veins op 10 minutes before and might know where to cut.

2) Privately (via the NHS) when in and out in 20 mins and that includes 10 mins waiting to make sure you don't have any side effects from the antithetic afterwards. Luckily had this one and he did at least 20 that afternoon.

If the latter than this is going to be an awfully short programme. As for the first poster with the massive side effects - ouch, sounds like someone pulled the tubes way too hard!

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Bronze badge

...ecological footprint leaves its mark on the planet...

Become extinct and save our planet

Die out and save the planet

Don't forget to donate your money to our worthy cause in your will.

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Joke

Bargain Vasectomy Clinic

http://www.twitfall.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/vasectomy.jpg

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Happy

Interesting juxtaposition

"Organisers told The Reg that volunteers can get themselves to the head of the queue for a free snip by registering for updates here. ®

Disaster recovery best practices"

As it appeared on the web page.

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Coat

Macho?

The definition of Macho is the man who jogs home afterwards.

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