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back to article Idaho patriots tool up to battle Jihad with pork bullets

US patriots concerned about "the ever growing threat of radical Islam and Sharia Law" can sleep sounder* in their beds thanks to an innovative range of pork-coated ammunition designed to dispatch jihadists directly to hell. Jihawg Ammo's high-tech covering of ballistic paint, infused with "highest quality pork product made right …

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Bronze badge

Square bullets

Puckle, the inventor of an early rapid fire gun, suggested square bullets for use against "the Turk". For some reason he honestly thought they would be more effective against an other-religioned enemy.

I was expecting these to be a joke at someone's expense, and that seems to be the case but I'm just not sure who's expense.....

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Re: Square bullets

Not more effective. Just more painful. The idea was round bullets would penetrate easily casing a lot of deep internal damage, while square bullets would catch at flesh and leave a shallower but wider, more severe wound. Round bullet means target drops dead, square means they drop in agony and slowly die of blood loss.

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Re: Square bullets

Accuracy would.be horrible so would be a short range defence at best....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Square bullets

Cosacs used to shave 'em. Half of them. On all bits. To a similar effect.

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Bunch of nutters

Only in America.

In the hands of an American nutter with a grevance I doubt that the ammunition can differentiate between children and Muslims, though I'm not a betting man I bet they kill more innocent people than they kill those that they were designed for.

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Anonymous Coward

What's next?

Pork chop grenades?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What's next?

Black pudding mines?

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Re: Square bullets

You'd think so but actually its not. Armstrong Whitworth came up with a square bullet rifle that was more accurate than its round firing counterpart on the basis that its designer spent ages figuring out the perfect rifling which was easier to achieve on square bullets than round - it also improved gas sealing which meant higher gas pressure, better muzzle velocity and given it was the British Army using them dead fuzzy-wuzzy at a safer distance...

Having actually visited Ohio I'm so not surprised they'd come up with this.. but the most depressing thing? religion is indeed for idiots - but who's the bigger fool? the godbotherer or the atheist who votes for him...

Religious belief should automatically preclude political power..

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Re: Square bullets

Rifling ... square bullets ..... gas sealing ...... My brain just collapsed.

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Joke

Re: What's next?

There's one near Bury, produces thousands a day.... damn tasty with bacon, sausage, tomato and a fried slice (builders tea optional)

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Re: What's next?

Builders Tea with a breakfast like that isnt an option.... IT'S THE LAW!

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Megaphone

Re: What's next?

Meatballs being fired at us Pastafarians!

I shall not stand this blasphemy.

For it is not written "Thou shalt not bite the noodly appendage with which I toucheth thee"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Square bullets

Great, could we have a range of Soap coated ones to use on the French?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What's next?

On the positive side, at least they should work on Israelis too...

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Re: Square bullets

"Great, could we have a range of Soap coated ones to use on the French?" Genius!

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Re: Square bullets

Early artillery shells had several brass lugs sticking out of their sides, to engage with the rifling of the gun. Doesn't sound like it should work, does it? On top of which, we're talking muzzle-loaded cannons.

I love the way sone of these threads drift.

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Trollface

Re: Square bullets

Just showing up is usually enough to defeat the french. Firing ammo is generally not required.

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Whitworth's was hexagonal, not square

The bullets had a twist in in and was indeed much more accurate, and had longer range than, the round section bullets of the time.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Square bullets

Having actually visited Ohio I'm so not surprised they'd come up with this.. but the most depressing thing? religion is indeed for idiots - but who's the bigger fool? the godbotherer or the atheist who votes for him...

That would be the atheist who actually believes that science proves anything at all in regards to god. Real science makes no comment on the subject either direction, but the number of atheists who claim otherwise is absolutely staggering.

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Mushroom

Re: Square bullets

I couldn't find any interesting images at a cursory glance, but even during the 16th century they used hexagonal shot in cannons as early attempts at rifling.

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IT Angle

Solution for Afghanistan

So I guess that the Americans only need to fill up their drones with Pigshit in order to bring the war to an end.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Solution for Afghanistan

I hear pig's blood is also plentiful.

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Re: Solution for Afghanistan

Not pigshit.. energy!

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Re: Solution for Afghanistan

I heard a rumor, years ago, that during the first Gulf War we were dropping pamphlets threatening to wrap the corpses of fallen Iraqi soldiers in bacon. The source of said rumor attributed the propaganda as one of the primary reasons that war ended so quickly. Personally I sprinkle salt liberally on that one, especially given Bush Sr's connections to the Saudi royal family, but it sounds plausible. It could work in the current war to, except for two things: the American public would throw a hissy fit over it and, as we kill most of them with drones, they'd know we couldn't recover the bodies.

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wow, great two-fer [was: Solution for Afghanistan]

Solve insurgency problems over there, abattoir waste disposal/ water table pollution problems here, plus Afghani civilians, er, "collateral damage" covered in offal is pretty bad but arguably less so than killed and maimed.

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FAIL

What they're "disgusted" at isn't actually a mosque, and it's two blocks from ground zero. But since when did gun-toting Islamaphobic loons let facts get in the way of a rabble-rousing business opportunity?

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It isn't even a "Ground Zero", which used to be the place where nukes are detonating.

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Boffin

Rather-

Where the fireball touches the ground- used to determine possible fallout.

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Anonymous Coward

Also, there is an actual mosque closer to "ground zero" that's already there.

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Anonymous Coward

My personal opinion has always been that there should be a Church and a Mosque, probably also a Synagogue joined as part of the same building at the site of Ground Zero. It makes a statement to those that would hijack religion to use as an excuse for their own twisted ideology.

I did follow that up with making the new twin towers a v sign pointing towards where the terrorists actually came from, but that may be seen as rather provocative and probably only really understood by the British.

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How dare they build a multi-faith community centre at the former site of that finest of all symbol of American Democracy, the Burlington Coat Factory.

etc.

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Devil

re: multifaith centre

They would need to add an NSA office and a bank...

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Also

In the new World Trade Center itself, there was to be a chapel, to be used for all the world's great religions, including Islam. One way to make that less annoying would be to have the imam be an Ahmadiyya Muslim. This would firmly exclude any tie to those factions within the Muslim world that sympathize with terror.

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Devil

Or possibly a "grow the hell up" centre to re-educate the zealots of all flavours.

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Devil

So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

Fuckwits.

GJC

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Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

I'd agree with you, Geoff ... If any given religion respected the beliefs of any of the others. Problem is, they don't. It's their way or the highway ...

Faith is a non-starter for anyone capable of thinking for themselves.

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Pirate

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

An excellent point. Might as well let them get on with it, then.

I wonder if we can set up a country with entry requirements based on a support for the scientific method - a citizen is free to worship any god or gods they please, so long as they can first devise a proper peer-reviewed experiment proving that said god(s) actually exist.

GJC

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Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

+1 Jake. People deserve respect, beliefs don't.

If they believe my disrespect of their beliefs(e.g. one the Abrahamic religions; the moon landing was faked; offshore coding is cost-effective) is a disrespect of them as a person, then that is just one more belief of theirs that I do not respect, but I will continue to try to respect them as a person.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

Personally I think you're dead wrong. I work for a festival, which while ostensibly Christian has bands and speakers from all religions and none. It's not just a small operation either, in it's 40th year and currently attracts about 20k people. (It's called Greenbelt.)

I go to churches where speakers from many different areas come, we have interfaith dialogue with many other local religions. Just because some shoutey small minded bigots say that "My religion is the only way" at the top of their voices, doesn't mean that different religions don't talk to each other.

I count Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics, Humanists and Buddhists amongst my friends, I'm glad it's so.

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Flame

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

You totally missed the point. What is your interfaith dialog but simple respect of each other? You don't believe in Allah, they don't believe in Jehova. Neither of your religions allow for a dualistic approach where you are both worshipping the same God. You can say you respect their religion but really you are dissembling.

I similarly count people of all beliefs amongst my friends, including the moon hoax and cost-effective off-shoring I mentioned.. Doesn't stop me believing they are completely wrong and that their beliefs are stupid. I'm just honest enough to say that their beliefs don't make any kind of sense when seen against what I know to be true.

It is the monotheistic religions themselves which say "my religion is the only way" - it's just that each religion's shouty bigots are less embarrassed about saying so. Your diplomacy towards believers of other faiths does you credit, but plenty of antitheists like myself have read your holy books and we KNOW what your religions say. They are not mutually compatible beliefs, at least some of you are wrong, and to my mind you all are. And more importantly if you are a Christian who thinks Islam is a valid belief, you are probably breaking your own rules - they are there in black and white, e.g. Commandment 2.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

"Allah, they don't believe in Jehova"

Did you miss the bit where all Jews, Christians and Muslims all believe in the same God?

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Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

I love it when atheists (sorry, antitheists) lecture Christians/Muslims/Jews/etc. about how to be a proper Christian/Muslim/Jew/whatever.

Any pointers on how I can be a better agnostic?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

"Faith is a non-starter for anyone capable of thinking for themselves."

Unfortuantely, the majority are not capable for thinking for themselves. This is so dangerous that their evil ways can be hugely detrimental to "us".

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Anonymous Coward

Think of the children!

"a citizen is free to worship any god or gods they please, so long as they" do so inside their own space and do not pollute the minds of our children!

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Meh

Re: Any pointers on how I can be a better agnostic?

Easy...

Stop accepting medieval beliefs dreamt up by a bunch of high-on-mushrooms bronze-age goatherds as certain, or even likely, to be true in the face of all the evidence that this is not the case.

You're welcome.

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Happy

Re: Any pointers on how I can be a better agnostic?

Thanks, John.

I don't take said beliefs to be likely, much less certain, but have long since accepted that, since I can't prove anything either way, I'm free not to worry about it. It's highly liberating, and I would recommend it to everyone (except I won't, as that would be prosletising!).

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Stop

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

"You don't believe in Allah, they don't believe in Jehova. Neither of your religions allow for a dualistic approach where you are both worshipping the same God. "

Firstly, Jewish, Muslim and Christian worshippers all worship the same God. That's pretty much World Religion 101. Odd how many people totally miss the point.

And they both allow a duallistic approach where OTHER PEROPLE can worship other Gods. It's just that members of those faiths only *themselves* only worship one God (which is the same one). There is no reason at all except for people being arseholes that the religions cannot co-exist with a degree of mutual respect.

As ever, the basic problem with the planet is arseholes.

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Thumb Up

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

You were clearly downvoted by someone who knows sod-all about religion, but is happy to wade in on the topic. Which is a major part of the problem. Anyone who doesn't understand that all three religions are worshipping the same person really shouldn't really be expecting their opinions to be valid or worthy of any attention.

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Facepalm

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

I'd agree with you, Geoff ... If any given religion respected the beliefs of any of the others. Problem is, they don't. It's their way or the highway ...

Buddhism

Taoism

Shinto

Bahai

Faith is a non-starter for anyone capable of thinking for themselves.

The worst thing is, you're committing the same logical fallacy as those you criticize -- the only difference is that you're generalizing to an even more absurd degree. They say "religion x is all dangerous crazy nutters" and you say "all religious are dangerous crazy nutters."

Well I say those who over-generalize are the dangerous crazy nutters.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

"People deserve respect, beliefs don't."

Those withj religious beliefs deserve no respect whatsoever. The truth is laid out in front of them and they chose to disbelieve instead opting for faith.

Dangerous people. Like it or not!

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