back to article Apple dives through iRon curtain, launches Russian online store

Apple is preparing for an invasion of Russia with the launch of an online store selling the fruity firm's full product range. The new digital shopfront launched with a homepage graphic referencing the bold design of the Russian constructivist artists. Up until now, Russian fanbois could only buy iProducts from resellers. The …

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Anonymous Coward

possible correction...

I think that should read фанбой and not фанбои. The first has a shorter sound as in 'yoghurt', whilst the second as in 'eel'.

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Bronze badge

Re: possible correction...

You are thinking singular and not plural - plural fits the context.

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Re: possible correction...

It appears to be a transliteration of fanboy. So the OP is correct. (I spotted it too.)

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Silver badge

The Irish staff will run the Apple Chat service, which helps with online customer care.

People often complain about help centres with English spoken in an Indian accent, I wonder what it will be like listening to Russian spoken in an Irish accent?

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Pint

I took night classes in Russian when I lived in Belfast, I shudder to think.

<-- the only way it is at all comprehensible

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Siri, can you direct me to the Naval Base in Alameda? It's where they keep the nuclear wessels.

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"Сири, условленный имеет мою жену, что я спешу возвращаться в этот вечер для него высосать грудь."

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If Apple opens 10 stores in an airport physically in Russia

Apple can avoid paying taxes to the USA, since "technically", they will be in a transit area.

Oh, wait, they might have to set up kiosks that they can remove and fly away every 23 hours, 59 minutes, and rotate in others, to remove the specific kiosks from a daily, persistent presence counted toward tax liability. (Is Snowden still in the "waiting area?"

Apple (and any other mfr/seller) could just keep disappearing behind magic doors and emerge from worm hole-like tunnels, from say, the whipping-ends emanating from the Delta Quadrant. Maybe Putin can play the role of Gul Dukat, and Clinton can play "Adami/Kai Winn". They can battle over the Mosst Akojin, summon the Rwah Paiths, all the while swapping red eyes, palm-throwing lightning/fire bolts, and arguing over the finer points of international/state borders, (consulting their PADDs) hahaha.

Meanwhile, Apple and others can make beelyons of dollars.... Might fund setting up Section 31....

Hell, why not even open up a bank/slush fund in the International/Stateless transit zone? Even set up orbital/orbiting flights to legitimately re-launch/re-land interesting people every 18 hours, flying out of Russian airspace with an e-ticket to the North Pole, then wire-transferring to another plane (like in Executive Decision), then landing back at the terminal, or even gliding down into a magic funnel into another worm hole. Then, the USA might resurrect Star Wars, with precision lasers to burn the chutes and glider wings from high orbit.

Wait, I think I see a Section 31 agent pretending to be an 87-years-old vagabond... her dense duffel looks to be a little to easy to carry... Oh, shi*)E&)#)@

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Trollface

In Soviet Russia

Troll patents the apple.

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Happy

Feature request: some place to upvote Reg headlines. +1 for Kremlins

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