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back to article IBM's $1bn layoffs latest: Now axe swings in US, Canada - reports

Scores of workers have been made redundant at IBM's Systems and Technology Group in the US, according to a union, soon after the tech titan warned of sweeping job cuts worldwide. Following a $400m shortfall in mainframe and software sales in the first quarter of 2013, employees were warned that a "workforce rebalancing" act (a …

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Facepalm

Re: Workforce rebalancing

IBM invents these stupid phrases for all these layoffs, but the inmates of the asylum rename them instantly.

1992 Career Transition Program (CTP) became "Cash To Piss-Off"

1993 Skills Rebalancing Option (SRO) became "Smiling, Rich, and Out".

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Mr Cynical

>>It is feared IBM will shed something along the lines of 6,000 to 8,000 workers, judging by the size of the $1bn payout pot <<

I wonder how much of the ring fenced pot will actually be allocated to pay bonuses to senior managers for successfully carrying out the difficult act of "workforce rebalancing"?

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Pirate

Re: Mr Cynical

It's not a matter of if, but how much.

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This is all Latin to me !

"An IBM spokesperson told El Reg that the company does not comment on staffing plans or rumorus about redundancies"

Hmmm from my latin school days I believe that the correct plural of rumorus is rumori

:-)

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Moving with the times

Here is a very rough chronological chart summarising IBM's progress in its attempt to emulate the ideal of modern, Western middle-aged man, namely stop having to do hard work and think too much and instead start telling other people what to do and shuffle papers until retirement:

19xx-1990: IBM - giant manufacturer and innovator (inventing and making things)

1990-2010: IBM - giant software and consultancy business (still doing some work / telling people what to do)

2010-2030: IBM - shuffling papers (aaaaaah, finally)

2050: IBM - Sale? (it can be seen as a form of retirement)

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Before you know it...

...someone will declare that there is a worldwide economic recession.

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Terminator

watson

According to my source in big blue.. This chap 'Watson' is running the show now. Keeps harping on about 'eradicating the humans' or something. Apparently he's quite the pub quiz know-it-all and was last seen tinkering with some automated flying 'kill-bots'.. Must be a call of duty fan too from what I gather.

These computer types are all rather clever.

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Compare IBM storage to EMC, etc...

IBM has underperformed the market for large-scale disk storage. Their disk-enhancing software has been notably behind EMC and others for 8 years, particularly in the disk-voracious database segment.

Right now, the problem with working for IBM is that the workers really don't control the prioritization of service-deployment and the upper management has been screwing it up.

It really isn't "safe" for the elite workers to chose IBM anymore. What a shame...

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Pint

Re: Compare IBM storage to EMC, etc...

We have a winner.

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Anonymous Coward

And in A/NZ...

About 800 (rumours up to 1,000) going in the GTS and GBS units just in the A/NZ region.

I'm one. Last day today. On the bright side: getting rid of this Lenovo laptop and no more Lotus Notes!

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Alert

Re: And in A/NZ...

AC - I give you joy of the day.

Diogenes - "rebalanced" out of GSA in 2003

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Anonymous Coward

Re: And in A/NZ...

Add offshoring to that. Here on an Oz Government account we're losing some IBMers who were given 4 weeks' notice that their jobs were to be offshored. You can offshore a dude, yeah, but you can't offshore his work due to government security requirements - therefore those who remain will have to carry that workload.

And if you think that those who remain onshore will simply work more on the government account and less on other ones, then you've clearly never worked for an outsourcer. They don't care if you live or die (so long as your death can't be blamed on them).

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Facepalm

Re: And in A/NZ...

Ah, Notes.

I was shocked when I found out IBM uses Notes for their entire enterprise wide daily operations.

Think about that. A program that was obsolete 10 years ago.

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Boffin

Surprising.

I expected them to make the cuts by sale rather than pay-off, namely by shifting the x86 unit off to Lenovo entirely. It looks like being greedy on the price of that sale actually cost them a lot more in the long run.

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Anonymous Coward

Lotus notes inbox is full. Again.

I wouldn't mind my chunk of that $1B. But then they wouldn't have someone who can get things done around here.

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