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back to article EU boffins in plan for 'more nutritious' horsemeat ice cream

Brussels-funded boffins say they have hit upon a brilliant method of creating "enriched" ice-cream, fortified with "disused" animal products which are normally thrown away by the meat industry as being unfit for human consumption. A press release issued by an EU-funded "research media centre" breaks the news of the stunning …

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Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

is a truly laudable aim (and the reason we have black puddings and haggis - and who would want to go without them?). That said, and as much as I love offal, this really does sound disgusting.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

That it sounds disgusting doesn't matter too much. People were happy with Findus products before they knew what they were eating, and sausage and haggis primarily exist to use things that otherwise wouldn't be sold.

A bigger concern is that this has the hallmarks of BSE all over again. Maybe we now now enough about prions and the like to contain that. But when the objective is to force feed as much of the carcass as possible to the unsuspecting population, what's the chances that we won't find new and exciting side effects, both chemical and biological?

<------------ That's not coffee on that keyboard, BTW.

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

People might still be happy enough if the Findus lasagne was labelled as horse, the taboo may well fail pretty fast.

The fuss really is about not knowing what you're eating, and about the fact that unregulated and untraced meat could get into the food chain so easily. It's an issue of trust in rather than of some sort of bizarre hippophagophobia.

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

I thought BSE was not solely due to ingesting prions in marrow \ offal but due to farmers feeding cows on cows (ground up cow bones and everything they couldn't pass off as a burger and also in some cases cow excrement as food). Specifically that it is canabalism element that was generating the problem and that eating normal grass fed cow brains is fine. I could of course be going senile so please do correct me if I'm wrong.

Edit: I'l correct myself :-) it was from cow meal contaminated by sheep infected with scrapie. So cow brain can be safe as long as mad sheep are kept away :-)

I don't have a huge issue with eating more of an animal, it doesn't even have to be stuffed in icecream, but I think we do need to ensure it's safe before we start ramming cow tonka down invalids throats. People may flinch at roast cow cock, but do they flinch at kebabs (ok some people may :-)) on a good day a kebab is foreskins, lips and arseholes.

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Coat

Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

on a good day a kebab is foreskins, lips and arseholes

I've heard that accusation. Personally I think it's just bollocks.

[gets coat, makes run for it]

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

I would flinch at cow cock as it would imply the cow had been subject to massive hormone treatment or had gender reassignment surgery.

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

Many of these parts are available as puppy treats. My dog loves "bully sticks" (bull penis), tendons, bladder, cartilage, trachea, ears, tripe, hearts, lung. They're all desiccated and only marginally smelly (but hey, if they didn't stink a little, he probably wouldn't touch them). I'm pretty sure they're a more wholesome option for him than dog biscuits.

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Pint

Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

Indeed, some breeds of dogs (esp Bull terriers for some reason) are actually allergic to wheat and other fillers used in biscuits, tinned and dried commercial dog foods (they get major skin infections and problems especially around their feet) - the meat products - even from the less pleasant sounding bits - are far better for dogs than the commercial treats.

As to eating all the unpleasant bits - 'beef' in 'burgers' normally comes from a cow/bull - but where from you really really don't want to know - but does it matter? Not once its been nicely cooked on the bbq and washed down with some decent beer.

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WTF?

Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

This is a fscked up as anything Monsanto would invent. Which is particularly disturbing as you folks over in Europe seem to have government officials a little less stupid when it comes to food than the ones we are stuck with in the Land Of The Free (tm).

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

@Natalie

Not really, the term 'cows' can be used to refer to male or female cattle.

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Devil

Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

"Not really, the term 'cows' can be used to refer to male or female cattle."

psh. city folk.

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

> Not really, the term 'cows' can be used to refer to male or female cattle.

No. Just no.

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Re: Using as much of the slaughtered animal as possible,

25 years growing up on a farm, working on farms and the dictionary says that is indeed correct :-)

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Soylent Green anyone?

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Unhappy

"Soylent Green anyone?"

I think we've have quiteenough of that for 1 day thank you.

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Anonymous Coward

Yeah, won't somebody think of the Soya and Lentils, they died before their time, let us salute their memory! :)

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Joke

I have no issue with this

It's all horses for courses...

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Re: I have no issue with this

It's horses for all courses...

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Anonymous Coward

But it must be served at the table in tamper-proof containers...

...and not just plopped on your plate - otherwise it could have been contaminated with all sorts of nasties.

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Joke

Re: But it must be served at the table in tamper-proof containers...

Just bring the horse (or other meat-sack) to the table. If it's been tampered with (or molested in any way...I feel queasy...), it'll either be dead or not looking too healthy/amused.

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Great idea

but only if it's compulsory that the stuff be served at all board meetings of the company making the stuff, and at all official government functions (and no-one is allowed to leave the table until they've cleared their plates).

Why should the benefits be restricted to the poor?

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nvCJD & Alzheimers combined...

What could *possibly* go wrong?

There are so many ways this is a bad idea its scary. Just one bit of reclaimed meat product with dribbling bovine disease & a whole run is contaminated. Not to mention all the numerous zoonoses you can get from Gods dumbest animal, the Sheep..

Then theres the whole 'named meat & I dont mean Rover' issue.

And meaty goodness from latvian slaughter houses that had their last proper sluice down when the Berlin Wall came down..

All in all this sounds like it belongs in a Monkey Dust episode - but after all alot of OAP homes seem to enjoy beating their residents like Chipperfield monkeys as a matter of policy, so it should fit perfectly...

Come back Bayview, your sins are forgiven...!

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mmmmmmmmm..........

.......mechanically recovered ice cream.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: mmmmmmmmm..........

Ben & Jerry 'Magic Mountain Oysters' flavoured ice-cream, I can't wait!

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Re: mmmmmmmmm..........

And 'RedRum and Raisins'

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Coat

Re: mmmmmmmmm..........

The diet version, with no added Shergar.

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Instead, feed it to the rich

And to the people who serve on committees that make such recommendations

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Black Helicopters

Re: Instead, feed it to the rich

Looking at the recommendations, it seems like they've already been fed a constant diet of it over the past few years.

I, for one, don't welcome our CJD overlords.

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Thumb Up

Re: Instead, feed it to the rich

Takes "eating your own dog food" to a whole new level

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Facepalm

Re: Instead, feed it to the rich

Don't worry about welcoming them they're already here! It would explain the elderly drivers (note to bmw driving geriatric: it is not, repeat not, necessary to leave two car lengths to the car in front when you are sitting AT THE BLOODY TRAFFIC LIGHTS!)

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Unhappy

Is this the Euro-equivalent of the US 'Pink Slime'?

If so, hasn't that already gathered enough bad press?

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IT Angle

I don't mind the idea of eating some of these parts. I mean look at china, the sexual organs, eyes, guts, all of it used. Hell it wasn't that long ago everything was used over ehre too. But gradually EU regulation has blocked off these animal parts from human consumption even though they made a pretty good stew. Now they're trying to reintroduce it to us? Can't they just make up their minds?

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So now *we'll* have to ban *their* meat because it's full of mad cow disease?

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Marketing 'extra dangly bits' ice cream could be difficult ... A good slogan may make all the difference but the only one I could think of was 'Lick my Gonads' which doesn't seem to help my appetite

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Coat

Gelato Fellatio ?

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Happy

Re-labelling 99's as 69's.

Slogan: This ice cream is the dog's bollocks.

There's some horrible mental images spring into my brain when I try to come up with stuff for this. So I'm going to stop now, and sluice some mind bleach round my head.

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Don't worry

Don't worry dear, its only the same as an ice cream...

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WTF?

wtf wtf wtf

I think I've slipped into a parallel universe where everyone is competing for the most repulsive idea imaginable

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Paris Hilton

Re: wtf wtf wtf

everyone is competing for the most repulsive idea imaginable Quite.

It makes me consider rejecting any food I didn't process myself. Sorry: that could have been worded better.

But the issue is overriding the human instinct where we pick out the bits we don't like the look of. I expect that there is a lot of self preservation in this instinct, but it's not 100% reliable (examples, anyone?), and if we avoid Bad Science we should be able to improve our health.

So now it all turns into trusting scientists, politicians and the food industry, because I haven't the stomach for butchering, or biology, or, on a bad day, even cutting out the squidgy bits from vegetables.

I remember when our daughter was very young we had only just managed to coax her to start her dinner when our son said "She would have been all right, but she saw one of the carrots moving".

Paris, because she knows about squidgy bits versus pleasure.

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Anonymous Coward

Dragon's Den?

or Britain's got Talent?

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Childcatcher

...Seemingly the horsemeat ice-cream or other products would be ideal as a dietary supplement for those needing "specialised protein products", such as "sick people, the elderly and athletes"....

Why does it only seem 'ideal' as a supplement for people who may not have much choice about what they are given to eat? They could have added baby food....

I am looking for EU funding to make a nutritious gruel out of mud, to be served at orphanages...

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Anonymous Coward

Hopefully this horsemeat idea will be swiftly dismissed.

But I do have a Modest Proposal for what to do with the orphans.

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Facepalm

And yet this is from the same EU

that only this week mandated that olive oil may not be delivered to the table in re-usable bottles, but must instead be prepackaged in 'convenient' sachets.

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Re: And yet this is from the same EU

Why any surprise? Both measures are driven by vested interests. In the case of this meat slurry idea, the food processors are looking to make more money, and have realised that the gormless nerks of the EU will support anything that purports to "reduce waste". In the case of olive oil, it's to "prevent fraud", meaning that Southern European producers want to make sure that people are buying as much of their product as possible.

As in Westminster, so it is in Brussels. Politicians work for whoever buys them lunch, and that's not the voters.

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Anonymous Coward

Ice cream for starving millions

We should not ridicule such a laudable idea, after all there are millions of people in poor areas in Africa where they don't even have clean water to drink (send only £3 per month etc.). Forget the water, what they are all really craving is ice cream. Just think of all those happy faces when the cheery jingle of the ice-cream vans ring through their primitive villages. Don't teach a man how to fish just send some organic ice-cream.

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Childcatcher

Re: Ice cream for starving millions

Don't teach a man how to fish just send some organic ice-cream.

Don't teach a man how to fish, just send some organ ice-cream.

There, fixed it for you.

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Meh

Yum Yum

Is this really very different from using gelatin in ice cream?

As wikipedia tells it, "Gelatin is derived from pork skins, pork, horses, and cattle bones, or split cattle hides"

Or how about finings used to clear wine & beer - often ground up swim bladders from fish?

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Re: Yum Yum

Just proves people will eat everything if it reminds them of boobs.

More seriously, nail on the head.

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Pirate

No prions

To all those 'oh noes! Teh mad cows' commenters - there'll be little additional risk from rogue prion diseases (BSE/Scrapie => vCJD) - the relevant tissue is considered specified risk material (SRM) and has to be destroyed by incineration, the legislation covering all this is quite tough (and a good reason to be up in arms about the horse meat scandal even if you don't mind noshing on a bit of pony - where and how those animals were raised, slaughtered and butchered is anyone's guess, you have no idea what welfare issues, diseases and drug residues were present with no public health oversight).

I agree we should practice old fashioned 'nose to tail eating'; no expensively produced protein should be lost form a carcass, but it should not be dressed up as something it's not ('chicken' nuggets etc.).

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Re: No prions

You'd be meaning the same 'tough' laws that had Dobbin burgers & Findus Crispy Seabiscuit on the school dinner menu? All they need to do is source it outside the EU and it could be Alawite Mince for all you know...

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