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back to article Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are WAY more fun

A coffee date with Tim Cook has sold for the whopping price of $610,000 to an anonymous bidder. The spendthrift Apple fan* will get half an hour with the fruity firm's CEO, during which tête-à-tête he or she will no doubt want to ask Mr Cook why Cupertino charges 65 quid for a Macbook power charger or perhaps explore the …

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Anonymous Coward

Quite Cheap

Given the price Apple charges for its products, $610,000 sounds quite cheap!

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Meh

Re: Quite Cheap

Of course there will be extras involved........

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Quite Cheap

Will it come with a blow job or a bend over and reach around?

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Re: Quite Cheap

It'll be $810,000 if you want enough memory to actually recall the meeting

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Meh

Re: Quite Cheap

Wonder if they will have to pay for the coffee

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jai
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"getting naked, beating each with leafy branches"

each what???

that sounds like it could be incredibly painful!!

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They forgot the vodka. Which I understand to be an important component of any successful sauna...

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Actually usually beer. And sausage, cooked on the stones of the stove.

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And some beer sacrificed on the stones for lovely malty steam

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Meh

Nah, it's probably a US congressman trying to get an audience with someone who wields new power... lobbying has changed!

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Pint

I'll bid £6.10 to have a beer with you, but you'll have to buy the pint

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Joke

Isn't that about the going rate for an iBrunch?

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Or...

"So what else could you have bought? About 248,980 extra cups of coffee without Cook, according to the average price given in these stats. This works out to about two cups a day for 227 years."

Or 20 cups a day for only 34 years.

So not so very generous, really.

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WTF?

Re: Or...

Am I being thick here?

248980/2 = 124490 days with coffee

124490/365 = 341 years.

Where does 227 come from?

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Re: Or...

You're right. Either they mean 3 cups a day or, since it say it is 248,980 "extra" cups of coffee, perhaps you have to drink a couple of tankers' worth of coffee during the meeting.

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Re: Or...

Whoops - our man meant 3 cups per day, not 2.

At $2.45 for a cup of espresso (according to the stats link), we have:

$610,000 / $2.45 = 248,979.59 cups of espresso. Call it 248,980 for ease of sums.

248,980 / 3 = 82,993 (rounding up)

82,993 / 365 = 227.37 ... so 3 cups of espresso per day for about 227 years.

tl;dr - We cocked up, have fixed the text. Cheers.

edit - bugger, where's my Reg staff badge gone?

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Re: Or...

248980/3/365.25 .. 227.22

I guess it's buying someone who isn't Cook a coffee, and having 2 for yourself.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Or...

I think the key is Extra cups of coffee

Maths = @ approx. $2.45 per coffee (therefore 3 coffee a day)

610000 /2.4 = 248979.59 cups of coffee

divide by 3 per day = 82993 days

divide by 365 days in a year = 227 years

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Happy

Re: Or...

Ahhh an EXTRA 2 cups a day.

This makes sense now. As I partake only of tea, in constant supply without breaks, the idea of a measured serving of beverage is quite alien to me!

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Re: Or...

@Jediben:

You only drink 2 cups of coffee a day? Good grief man, how have you not throttled your coworkers yet? Mine know to avoid me until I finish at least my third cup.

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Happy

Re: Or...

Maybe you were fired...

I know people who found out they were let go when their dongle didn't open the office door anymore.

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Re: Or...

No, I don't drink any coffee at all. Foul stuff.

Tea for me, unlimited volumes!

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Headmaster

Re: Or...

The price would round up - from $2.45 to $2.50, but you can only buy a full cup so, 610000/2.45 ≈ 248979

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Happy

Browser history

Let's hope no-one looks at the links I'm following from this article - they might get the wrong idea ...

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Thumb Up

I heard

it was Larry Page that won it. Going to sit there laughing and pointing....

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Re: I heard

"Haha, all our money comes from markets you don't compete in — but we hear Samsung are getting rich off phones"?

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Joke

I'll put in a theory

It was Ms Cook, so livid at never seeing her husband at breakfast since he joined Apple

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I'll put in a theory

Hardly.

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Hmmm....I smell business opportunities

Given how keen our government are to support small businesses so that we can save for our pensions etc, would someone (not me you underrstand) be able to get a bank loan and government export guarantees to buy a container-load of AK47s in the Niger Delta and ship them to Mexico? Even with the necessary bribes and employment of middlemen it looks like there could be a healthy profit there for someone.

Or perhaps the City chums of our beloved leader have already got the market sewn up...

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Mushroom

Let's see

44 au pair, 40 AK-47s and 2 SU-100s seems a reasonable start to a private army. With $5k to spare.

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Devil

Re: Let's see

£5k- that could get you some iPhones for tactical comms...

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WTF?

Re: Let's see

So you want to buy tanks and guns, but no ammo?

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Re: Let's see

I can think of a few examples of non-English eye-candy who would be quite comfortable with an SU-100. Those cracks about the skills of au pairs are a wee bit sexist.

And don't forget the ammunition

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Let's see

I think you need a crew of more than 2 for your SU-100. You will also want a backup truck with fuel, food and water, and some sort of air cover. And a few radio operators.

Armies are, as Napoleon noted, more about logistics than guns. It's worth remembering the conversation that took place in OKH, around October 1941:

"Heinz, the commanders are complaining that they have no cold weather uniforms."

"Haven't they made it to Turkey yet?"

"No, they appear to be attacking Moscow and Leningrad."

"Scheiss..."

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Headmaster

Re: Let's see

No tank in sight - a self-propelled gun is _not_ a tank.

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Joke

Au-pair in a tank...

Any mishap involving an au pair driving a tank is surely going to fall into the category of someone elses problem - to wit, to poor blokes who's cars she is trying to parallel park between.

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Re: Au-pair in a tank...

If you paint it pink, yes.

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Re: Au-pair in a tank...

A panzer that is positively pink?

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Go

Re: Au-pair in a tank...

THINK!

Well, here it is: The pink panzer.

The rinky-dink panzer.

And it's as plain as your nose..........

That it's the one and only, truly original, panzer-pink-panzer from turret to track!!

Hmm, I think I lost it a little toward the end there. :-/

Still, I guess that's my earworm sorted for the day! :-D

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The lengths folks will go to...

...to get their Mk1 iPod fixed!

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Probably just going to gush for 30 minutes

I doubt she will complain about the paying £65 for a charger. Anyone who has $610k to spend in half an hour probably wouldn't notice the cost of a charger.

It's all for charity so we shouldn't really grumble. But I can't help but think Tim could have raise more if the prize was to push the button that would dunk him as a witch.

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Anonymous Coward

$610K to punch someone in the face seems a bit much, but as long as they get some form of closure.

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Anonymous Coward

Charger...

Dunno Jasp, why do HP charge £63 for theirs?

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Re: Charger...

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Re: Charger...

RTFA

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Coffee with Steve Jobs ?

Of course the price would be higher -- and the temperature could be hotter.

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Thumb Up

Re: Coffee with Steve Jobs ?

How much, oh just your Soul and the souls of all your families first born from now until the end of time.

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Anonymous Coward

What about the tax deduction?

This was a charity auction, and the value of the 30 with Cook is "nominal". So, basically, depending on the tax bracket and tax code of the buyer the real value of the charity contrib is likely quite a lot less than 600K. Say, maybe 400K.

Still not a sneezable dab of cash.

To top it off though (while we are talking money) obviously Cook is worth (before taxes) 600K+/30minutes, or over a mil per hour (rounding to cover perks you know). Or, for a year of this particular exec's time, working 10hr/day 6.5 days/week (you would too for this kind of cash!): over 3 billion per year. Please pay up fanbois. It is for the Cause.

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The Reg's Apple Trolling was more effective when Anna was writing.

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"Anna"l Leakage? Is that you?

Methinks a better nickname might help when tooting ones horn. :)

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