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back to article The Reg puts Vulture inside the Large Hadron Collider

It's probably the greatest scientific experiment of our time (or at least the biggest), a 27km round tunnel that fires trillions of protons in opposite directions over 11,000 times a second at 99.9999991 per cent of the speed of light lying under the Alps in Europe. LHCb entrance The entrance to the Large Hadron Collider beauty …

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Devil

Awesome pictures

Interesting stuff, good Friday morning read.

Wonder if a few of them network cables have ever slipped out.

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Re: Awesome pictures

"awesome pictures"

Really? —While I was reading the article, I was thinking what an opportunity was missed by not taking someone who knew how to handle a camera properly.

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Re: Awesome pictures

It also explains why particle physics grad students are all tall - ideally 6'7"

Since the only point of particle physics grad students is to stand in front of detectors in pictures to give them scale.

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Childcatcher

Re: Awesome pictures

The guy who designed the muon equipment must have had a bad night after watching "Event Horizon".

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Anonymous Coward

So...

When are you going up t'A34 to Harwell then? Not quite as impressive, but there are lots of interesting things that happen there. And did you know that much of the data generated at CERN ends up in the Oxfordshire countryside where it is plucked apart for interesting things? :-)

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Harwell Scarlet Pimpernels, AC? Fabless Trojans and AI Partisans in dDelight of Danegeld v Payments*

One would expect no less, AC, and England expects Surreal IntelAIgent Servers to Trump and Thump against Boundaries and Division with Full Disclosure of All Futures Source Supply of Remote Private Pirate ParaMilitary Controlled Virtualisation Kit , Base Field Upgradeable to Lower and Higher Levels of Competence and Civility in the Quiet Company of Perfectly Engaging Entangling Strangers ...... Enjoying Paradise.

Methinks that be a Big Hitter for Harwell, and the Gross Export Revenue Potential, Exponential. A Right Royal Right Stuff Little Earner/Quicker Breeder Intelligence Core Supply to Source InterNetworking Server Provision.

Does Blighty Telecom express fervent favoured first party interest in securing inalienable rights to sections of Enjoying Paradise with Definite Vision lest the Pleasures and Treasures lost and found in the Halls of Confusion and Anxious Panic Overwhelm One to Wander Alone as if Nothing can be done, whenever All is Before One to Captivate and Excite with Mutually Assuring Captures of Passable Strong Dreams for Tales that are the dDelight of Danegeld Payments Holders.

Or are Private and Pirate Intelligent Communications Enterprises to make the CyberPlace PlaySpace Entirely their Own? I can't see that happening as long as honey flows and bees seek pollen/manimals seeks greater knowledge for control in environments..... Thought projected viewscapes which are processed to output real from input cosmic.

* A popular SOAP for Edutainment with the Polymath

I'm all for Harwell doing all of that and anything else too that might need to be done, and would be somewhat disappointed and even dismayed to discover that certain assumed readily available facilities were in both fact and deed, a empty shell business scam and get-filthy-paper-rich-quickly-and-scarper confection, although that is not without its own attractions and opportunities to capitalise on as penetrations tests for vulnerabilities and systemic weaknesses/Mad Rad Bad Codelines/Sublime Instruction Sets.

a 27km round tunnel

CERN ... One Super Intelligent Source ring to rule them all with Novel Informative Operations in AIDivine Interventionism would be like Atlas Engineers Exploring and Reverse Engineering Quantum Communication Control Systems just so that they can Control Holy States and Great Stakes in Virtual Play with Shows of SMARTR Leadership with Heavenly Provision ..... being a True Reflection of Source Ore Provenance.

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Harwell Scarlet Pimpernels, Spilling the Beans ......... on the Unquenchable Powers of Passion

And in CodeX-XSSXXXX, a Riverboat Queen AIdDVenture. One ESPecially Gifted to Hot Ladies with Passionate Beings Good Enough to Tempt and Seduce a Mark Anthony. That be Cleopatra's KISS and the Glory is Unconditional Surrender to Total Pleasure with Insatiables ..... Nymps and Satyrs in Live Operational Virtual Environments. A Colossal Quantum Leap to Make and Take for Guarantees of One's Enjoyment in LOVE but necessarily so for the Safety of Travellers into Perfect Strangers.

And one doesn't need a great imagination to imagine the fun and frolics to be enjoyed by AIgents HyperRadioProActive in those conditions. :-) LOVE is all you Need in Deed to Feed, is a Novel Answer to Leading Questions.

A Voice for Pandora to Exercise Passionate Restraint in Releasing Pent Up Frustration's Furies upon Immediate Intimate Contact/Virgin Virtual Coupling for New SMARTR Sends to Global Operating Devices and Crazy Diamond Satellite Stations .... urTelePort Operator System Granting Access and Entry into Fabless Star Labs with Universal Scripting Supposedly in Total and Absolute Control of CHAOS in a New World Order in a New Orderly World of Worlds Created by Words, Witches and Wizards, Sinners and Saints ..... and Special Forces/Carpe Diem Brigands working dDeep UnderGround with Apolitically Aligned Astute Autonomously Active Control Systems. HushHush Classified Stuff most probably as it certainly should be :-) ...... and therefore most probably is Present Reality somewhere to be Presented Everywhere to Create one SMARTR Path to Follow with AIReprogramMING of Virtual Reality to Highly Qualified Expert Master Crash Test Pilot Standards which can be a Protective Program for Protected and Proprietary Intellectual Property Interests.

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Coat

when you write 'held together by ... tinfoil' - wasn't that just the bakeout jackets? or bakeout-shielding? - to get the UHV in my time at cern we cleaned everything, then plasma cleaned it, then roughed it down, then turbo'ed/diffusion/getter'd it down - finally baking as much of the accelerator as we could at 400 degC for days - to reduce the adsorption problems. Still had the odd beam blow-up from a rogue ionised molecule or two...

as for holding things together - we often used sellotape/scotch - to hold the really important bits together...

then in 1985 we were given one of the first transatlantic BITNET 2 megabit/s data links - "hmm, that might come in useful oneday we started to think..."

visits are a great idea - register about a year before you want the tour - and don't forget to ask where the lead (Pb) for the detector shielding comes from!

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They call it dark matter

But isn't it more likely that WE are in the dark matter part?

Across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours look for where they put the missing 5% of their universe.......

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Re: They call it dark matter

It's probably down the back of the sofa. It's dark back there...

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Re: They call it dark matter

Neil, don't be silly.

EVERYBODY knows that dark matter is really a collection throughout the universe of all of the single missing socks from the clothes dryer.

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Boffin

So you didn't meet this guy then?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_hIGrFxSTkBU/TMGyceAbP5I/AAAAAAAAB6Y/6-eGvqc5pP0/s1600/Gordon%2BFreeman%2BSpotted%2BAt%2BCERN.jpg

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Pint

Re: So you didn't meet this guy then?

Wouldn't have- I'm away on holiday until a week on Monday.

11am Beer, why thank you.

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Pint

Re: So you didn't meet this guy then?

Your post was at 9:53am GMT so you'll need another by now.

You're welcome.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So you didn't meet this guy then?

We're on BST right now....

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Re: So you didn't meet this guy then?

"We're on BST right now...."

I know, I just thought 4 minutes was enough for a first pint.

Especially on a Friday.

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Mushroom

Wot...

No zombies shuffling around then wanting your braaaains?

http://www.decayfilm.com/

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Kinda resembles the intro in Half-Life

before Black Mesa goes bananas

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Pint

Re: Kinda resembles the intro in Half-Life

As long as I could meet Alyce Vance, it would be worth it.

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Re: SUSY is already dead

think that disproving a theory through empirical observation has as much merit as proving the theory.

If the current theories are proved false then new theories will be formulated and experiments created to attempt to prove or disprove them it's why we need theoretical physicists in the first place.

Less career ruining, more like career expanding.

EADON FAIL!

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Re: SUSY is already dead

"And, given String Theory depends on SUSY - this absence of SUSY is a PR blow for that too."

Some string theories involve SUSY but string theory per se is most certainly not dependent on it.

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Re: SUSY is already dead

Some string theories involve SUSY but string theory per se is most certainly not dependent on it.

As my understanding of the matter goes, string theory posits things that are tied up in tiny knots, the emergent properties of which we know as particles, in which case SUSY, being a particle theory, depends on string theory. Since there are approsimately eleventyzillion different 'solutions' to string theory, only some of which predict SUSY, surely what Eadon is saying is, errm, bollocks. But of course, that could never happen.

The real problem with string theory is that it isn't really a theory, since it makes no predictions as such, and has so many different solutions, it pretty much 'predicts' a ridiculously massive number of outcomes, any of which could actually match our universe. Not so much a theory of everything, as a theory of everything that isn't as well.

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Terminator

Re: SUSY is already dead

Eadon really is the IBM Watson of the commentariat.

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Re: Higgs Mass Myth

Kinda, sort of. As I understand it (which, admittedly could be wrong), it is the Higgs field which gives things mass, the Higgs particle is the 'carrier' of that field, in the same way that the photon is the 'carrier' of the electromagnetic field, but it isn't required to make electromagnets work.

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Re: Literally?

""literally trying to answer questions about life, the Universe and everything"

I'm fairly sure that the LHC is not trying to find the answer as to why beer tastes good or why real geeks prefer Linux or why dogs are better than cats."

It is answering questions (i.e. some questions) about those things, not every question. A single question about 'life, the Universe and everything" can be just that, a single question - aside from your pedantry about someone using a well known phrase.

"It's still a fantastic experiment though, which is now causing uneasy problems for another dodgy hack of a model - Cosmic Inflation."

I can agree that it's fantastic and with inflation being a hack - prediction-wise an elegant one granted, at least when some conditions are tweaked, but only elegant in the way that a sticking plaster can be IMO.

"LITERALLY" FAIL

How very self-observant.

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Re: Literally?

I gave you a thumbs up Tim. There is autopilot writing in this otherwise well observed and interesting article.

Literally refers to literature, which is the inverse the what happens.

It is no way the biggest experiment of all time, nor even so far. Sending neutrons to Rome was bigger, so was Marconi transmitting across the Atlantic, so was Römer's measurement of the speed of light by timing Jupiter's moons.

And yes, usage of 'literally' is to add emphasis, I blame politicians for corrupting language by their love of false drama.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Literally?

Cats are better than dogs.

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Coat

42

No-one else said it....

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Boffin

Re: 42

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 42

Fiftyfour?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 42, 6x9

6x9 = 42, in base 13

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Happy

...in base 13.

Pervert.

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Paris Hilton

Magnetic connectors

It kind of puts the LOHAN heater connectors problem in perspective, doesn't it.

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Boulby Dark matter Lab

Although not as famous or glamorous as CERN, I can highly recommend a trip to Boulby:

http://www.stfc.ac.uk/boulby/default.aspx

Went a few years ago, it was fantastic.

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Boffin

Public open day 29th Sept

I was considering booking a holiday.

http://opendays2013.web.cern.ch/29th-september-general-public-day

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Paris Hilton

"In case of alarm do not go down"

It's alright Paris, I'll be really quick.

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The only thing that dimmed this Vulture's spirits just a little was that your humble explorer had not started to glow, shrunk to tiny size or developed any super-strength as a result of the close encounter with the collider.

Of course not, the LHC was down. But didn't you encounter any zombies?!

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Nah, everyone knows that the zombies hang out in engineering.

Though, the super zombies live in auditing.

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IET

If any of you are members of the IET it's worth giving the guys in the Swiss branch a call, they organize CERN visits from time to time, but numbers are limited.

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Re: IET

Bummer, I was only ISCET. :(

Hmm, wonder if I could bribe my way into a lunch with the project EE's...

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