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back to article Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official

Boffins bearing tape measures appear to have confirmed that in the trouser department, size really does matter. But it's not the only thing prospective mates are eyeing when they give chaps the once-over. In fact, todger size "interacts with body shape and height to determine male sexual attractiveness", so that a "greater …

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Published in PNAS ...

... where else?

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Anonymous Coward

It all in the hands

Hand size is what counts, measure the distance between the top of your finger and the wrist.

A tall man with little hands, that's a give away to any woman that the guy is under endowed.

Heard that while working at home while the wife and the rest of the yummy mummy club were having a coffee morning. It's distressing that women can be so shallow.

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Re: It all in the hands

...it's distressing that anyone can repeat this kind of total nonsense. There is NO CORRELATION between hand size & penis size - it's just another urban myth.

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Paris Hilton

Re: It all in the hands

"There is NO CORRELATION between hand size & penis size - it's just another urban myth."

Says the man with small hands. :p

<Quickly puts own hands in pockets so nobody notices their size>

Tra-lala-la. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Paris, because I gather she's seen a few men's, er, hand sizes.

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Coat

Re: It all in the hands

Oh come on... Everyone knows that men with bigger hands have bigger....

...gloves

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It all in the hands

"the wife and the rest of the yummy mummy club..."

Is "yummy mummy" just a polite version of MILF?

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Re: It all in the hands

>>."There is NO CORRELATION between hand size & penis size - it's just another urban myth."

> Says the man with small hands. :p

Says the man with large hands. :-)

Really, I have heard it all, supposed to correlate with nose size, ear size, arm length, forehead height (negatively). But I have heard good evidence, on good authority, that it does not correlate with anything else, and certainly not general size. Fred West for example, a bear of a man, had a small penis (it came out at his trial - no, not in that way).

What is very plausible though (and I've been told) is that a todger of any given size looks relatively larger on a smaller man.

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Re: It all in the hands

If it were nose or ear size I'd be so popular with the ladies. And the hand size is rubbish. If anything smaller hands makes you look even bigger (to yourself)

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Happy

Re: It all in the hands

It is in the hands - sort of. If my hands are bigger, then generally I'm bigger, and generally my penis is bigger. It's not rocket surgery - the body is generally proportional.

Now shoe size, that's the REAL indicator (says the UK size 11).

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Re: It all in the hands

"Hand size is what counts,"

Yes, of course. But it's not the hand size of the possessor that matters. It's the hand size of the borrower that does.

As Pater always said, find a girlfriend with small hands. Much more flattering that way.

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Coat

Re: It all in the hands

> <Quickly puts own hands in pockets so nobody notices their size>

Given the way this comment section is going, TBH I'd much rather hands _out_ of the pockets ...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It all in the hands

"find a girlfriend with small hands. Much more flattering that way."

Note taken. I knew there was a reason I follow your articles.

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Anonymous Coward

Size does seem to help but....

...looks like it always loses to a $5000 Armani suit and the keys for a Porsche. I wonder why.....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Size does seem to help but....

Quick 5-15 minutes of pleasure in bed where they probably still fake many of the ooh's and ahh's against not having to work (themselves), a platinum credit card, big house, private education for the kids... hmmm shallow or compelling?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Size does seem to help but....

The ultimate aphrodisiac has long been green in colour.

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Re: Size does seem to help but....

"...looks like it always loses to a $5000 Armani suit and the keys for a Porsche. I wonder why..."

Well anyone with a need for those over-compensatory affectations is oviously a very, very profient onanist already!

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Meh

Re: Size does seem to help but....

"The ultimate aphrodisiac has long been green in colour."

I shall begin working on my lawn right now!

It's quite long.....

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Happy

Duh

Being 6'5" and 220lbs has always been fantastic for me. Yes the cool cars and overall badassness surrounding me doesn't hurt either. But there aren't that many women that have seen my penis. I've had my share of women but except for a couple of drunken romps in college I just don't go whipping my DNA cannon out for inspection. The women I've been with found me attractive before I pulled out the stiff one eye on them so unless you're running about with your dong on display or are being reviewed sans pants prior to sex I don't see how this study applies in a clothed civilization.

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Stop

Re: Duh

Actually you will find the majority of women are quite adept at gauging size through trousers, jeans etc I suppose only the really baggiest trousers would be the ones that are difficult to gauge from.

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WTF?

Re: Duh

"The women I've been with found me attractive"

Thanks for sharing your assessment.

Do any of the women you've "had" have points of view they might share? I guess it's possible there are other explanations.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Duh

That explains my lack of action. Tight undies (since I wear shorts to the gym) probably provide the wrong kind of illusion.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Duh

« The women I've been with found me attractive [....] »

« But there aren't that many women that have seen my penis [....] »

« [....] except for a couple of drunken romps in college »

Care to rephrase your post a bit?

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El
Paris Hilton

Really?

They didn't provide evidence that ALL women find larger penises more attractive. They found evidence that a small group of Australian women do. I believe these are the same women that are statistically most likely to sleep with a bloke on the first date, too. Perhaps the results would be different with a more prudish sample group.

I'll admit that the results of this study likely actually DO apply to Paris Hilton...

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Anonymous Coward

A recent study

What's large for one woman maybe small for another.....

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Re: Really?

More to the point, it's a survey. Ask a conscious question, get a conscious answer. People will always rank on the variables when they're consciously ranking. Gaze analysis, skin galvanisation (for arousal) etc are much more objective ratings.

The problem is that woman aren't turned on by grey polygonads, so there is no objective measure to be made here.

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Happy

Re: Really?

The problem is that woman aren't turned on by grey polygonads, so there is no objective measure to be made here.

That's funny, I've never had any complaints from the many women who've had cause to fondle my smoothly curving grey checkered torso and genitalia. Oh yes!

Yours,

John Major

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Isn't everyone?

Cold morning do no one any favours.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Isn't everyone?

Actually..... No :-)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Isn't everyone?

"3" flaccid? Isn't everyone?"

The range of flaccid sizes is quite considerable. Some expand more than others - but the erections mostly end up within a close range for a given genetic population.

On a naturist holiday it was surprising to see a family of relatively small framed English men for whom "hung like donkey" was not just an optical illusion. As was said in M*A*S*H of the dentist - "wouldn't like to see that angry",

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Anonymous Coward

Re: for a given genetic population.

I had a girl friend, no make that a friend who was a girl, who'd taken a personal research project on the subject and didn't think much to normal stereotypes, she didn't think it varied much between the difference genetic populations.

You have to admires some people self sacrifice in the name of scientific research.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: for a given genetic population.

"[...] she didn't think it varied much between the difference genetic populations."

Condom manufacturers do produce different sizes for different countries. If I recall - Asia had a market for some smaller sizes - Africa for some larger ones.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: for a given genetic population.

"she didn't think it varied much between the difference genetic populations."

Unless she really went for it, I don't think her sample size is as big as that of the major condom manufacturers, who sell smaller condoms in India, for starters. The same happens in quite a few places. She was wrong, due to insufficient data, that simple :)

(Obviously, they never mark them "small" and so forth, that would be a wonderful way to lose sales)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: for a given genetic population.

"(Obviously, they never mark them "small" and so forth, that would be a wonderful way to lose sales)"

In the Hong Kong Night Market my UK waist size "small" translated to their shorts label of "XXL".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: for a given genetic population.

"she didn't think it varied much between the difference genetic populations."

> I don't think her sample size is as big as that of ...

It's not so much about sample size as the size you sample

I guess its probably that she only sampled the larger size ...

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Mushroom

Also

In other news:

MEN LIKE BIG TITS!!!!!!!

World-changing stuff. Who knew?

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Re: Also

Not all of us do, upto and including 36c ( in the UK) will do me just fine.

I'm sure i'm not alone.

PS give me natural every time, can't abide the fake ones.

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Re: Also

I'm not a fan of big tits either. As my Dad always says, anything more than a handful is a waste!

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Re: Also

No offense mate, but your dad was an idiot !

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Re: Also

Big or not, they all taste the same.

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Re: Also

No offence mate, but YOU'RE an idiot.

Not for liking big jugs, but for being a tool. Accept that some people have different tastes, and just because you can't understand why someone doesn't like the same stuff you do that doesn't make him an idiot.

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Re: Also

IIRC Humans penises are bigger than those of the great apes; 1" would be big enough to get the job done. So the question is why do men have such enormous penises?

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Re: Also

1" is enough?

Phew.

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Meh

@ Richard Wharram - Re: Also

Wrote : "In other news: MEN LIKE BIG TITS!!!!!!!"

Yes, but there is a major difference in that a woman can show off her tit size to everyone, even in normal clothing. Men cannot reveal their dick size however until they have already pulled the bird to the point where it does not matter any more - on that occasion anyway.

Some here have claimed that women can tell even when you are fully clothed. I dispute that. For one thing flacid size is no indication of erect size. And having an erection in trousers is something I have always, often with great difficulty, tried to avoid - for one thing it hurts, and secondly you do not know how the girl is going to take it, particularly if you have not long met her, (unless, again, things have progressed to the point where it does not matter any more).

I remember a first date (dating club) when sitting down at a table in a pub I looked down her massive cleavage and got a hell of a boner. I was worried she might ask me to get up for a packet of peanuts, I couldn't have got across the room. I was looking out of the window for distraction; don't know what she made of me. I did see more of her after that ;-) but a pity she had bad breath .....

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Happy

More than a handfull....

.... is where it starts to get really interesting

[Ahem]

Or so I've been told...

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Coat

Re: "Human penis are bigger than the great apes."

Humans are the only primates without a baculum, or penis bone.

"The popular science writer Richard Dawkins ...speculated in 2006 that the loss of the bone in humans, when it is present in our nearest related species the chimpanzee, is a result of sexual selection by females looking for honest signals of good health in prospective mates. The reliance of the human penis solely on hydraulic means to achieve a rigid state makes it particularly vulnerable to blood pressure variation. Poor erectile function betrays not only physical states such as diabetes and neurological disorders but mental states such as stress and depression."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum#Absence_in_humans

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Also

"So the question is why do men have such enormous penises?"

If I recall correctly there was a theory that humans are the only primates that mate face to face. Seeing each others faces was considered part of the psychological bonding process. The suggestion was that the missionary position requires extra length in the penis compared to doggie fashion.

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Re: Also (1" would be big enough)

Large penis help remove the sperm out of the vagina. Other specimens' sperm that's it! The larger it is the higher chance to rub it off and yours to prevail.

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Re: "Human penis are bigger than the great apes."

"The popular science writer Richard Dawkins ...speculated in 2006 that the loss of the bone in humans, when it is present in our nearest related species the chimpanzee, is a result of sexual selection by females looking for honest signals of good health in prospective mates."

That's rubbish. It just wouldn't fit in the trousers, that's all.

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