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back to article Facebook prepares to dominate Android

Facebook's upcoming Android announcement could see Zuckerberg & Co. take over smartphone homescreens, making the social network an ever-present companion for people with a thirst for e-validation. The company will announce on Thursday an HTC phone that comes loaded with a Facebook app that supplants the traditional smartphone …

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Trollface

You almost had me...

...until I looked at the date. Phew!

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Re: You almost had me...

Unfortunately, of all the ones that *should* be April Fools...

It's just more evidence that the Universe is mocking us.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You almost had me...

In the UK the April Fools finished 11 hours ago..........

We're less gullible.....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You almost had me...

You have to admire the Zuck, he has conned millions of people into believing that you have to post inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull self-important detritus of the minutiae of your life to achieve a sense of affirmation from like minded people who also post inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull, self-important detritus of the minutiae of their lives. While this goes on he harvests your details and sells this information to the highest bidder....

What a salesman, he was even able to convince normally intelligent people to buy into his dream...

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FAIL

Re: You almost had me...

Posted Monday 1st April 2013 21:45 GMT

Anonymous Coward

Re: You almost had me...

"In the UK the April Fools finished 11 hours ago..........

We're less gullible....."

So the timestamp is wrong? You still had 2.25 hours left of April Fools when you posted this...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You almost had me...

April fools ends at midday - at least in the UK.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You almost had me...@Cipher

Yes Cipher, here in the UK the April Fool ends at midday, we know when a joke runs out of steam and is no longer funny.

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Re: You almost had me...@Cipher

If only that were true. Mr Bean should have finished after episode one.....

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Me too.

No kidding. I was just about to toss my GSIII into the street.

What a tug-job.

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Mushroom

Re: You almost had me...

I posted about the birth of my newborn child on there as a way to announce to people who I don't get chance to stay in contact with as often as I'd like, but might be interested.

Would you like to tell me and the rest of my family how inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull and self-important the birth of my first child is?

Please continue, although your soapbox looks a to be giving way under the weight of that chip upon your shoulder AC.

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Anonymous Coward

"Would you like to tell me and the rest of my family how ..... the birth of my first child is?"

As having a child is the biggest act of selfish vanity you can indulge in, I think you've rather answered your own question there....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: As having a child is the biggest act of selfish vanity you can indulge in

And there was me thinking it's a biological imperative....

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Thumb Down

Re: "Would you like to tell me and the rest of my family how ..... the birth of my first child is?"

"As having a child is the biggest act of selfish vanity you can indulge in"

Would love to meet the parents who spawned you...

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Anonymous Coward

Would love to meet the parents who spawned you...

So would I, I'm adopted.

None of which detracts from the fact that having a child is a stupendous act of vanity (asuming the world wants or needs replicants of you is pretty self-aggrandizing) regardless of it being a biological imperative. As humans we are advanced enough to choose whether to have kids or not, so the biological imperative argument doesn't hold water and shoving pictures of your spawn all over Facebook and then bleating about them in a comment is pretty much the definition of vanity. "look at the mini-me's, LOOK AT THEM!"

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Re: "Would you like to tell me and the rest of my family how ..... the birth of my first child is?"

Rather like my conversation with my (richer, younger) brother.

When he announced his wife was pregnant, I remarked that the last thing the world needs is more people.

He replied, "well, it needs more people like us".

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Re: You almost had me...

Did the newborn baby give consent for the pictures to be online?

I dont not envy the children that have been born in the last few years, there lives are documented online and they will grow up knowing there are pictures of them on the internet.

Since when did having children, buying a new car etc etc become a show off item, rather than something that is special and personal and a rather private matter

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Re: You almost had me...

quote: "Would you like to tell me and the rest of my family how inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull and self-important the birth of my first child is?"

Depends, I have another 369,999 parents to congratulate for the birth of their children on the exact same day (and a similar number for the previous day, and for the following day, e.g. more than one million in 72 hours). I'm sure your news was much more intelligent, interesting, incredibly keen and modest than any of those hundreds of thousands of similar births, though :)

Disclaimer: I do have a facebook account, but rarely log on more than once a month, if that. All the stuff my friends post tends to be full of inane drivel, sprinkled with the odd meetup request that I'd already heard about face to face. When IRL conversations regularly contain the words "did you see X on facebook?" you have to wonder what has happened to the art of conversation... :/

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Would love to meet the parents who spawned you...

"As humans we are advanced enough to choose whether to have kids or not, so the biological imperative argument doesn't hold water...."

Hmmm, tell that to the nutter who kills his brother or beats his wife/girlfriend. In each and every one of us, at the base of this cold, calculating exterior beats the heart of an animal, barely coping to contain those raw natural tendancies to eat, crap and breed. We're simply monkeys with technology, nothing more.

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Big Brother

Re: You almost had me...

"You have to admire the Zuck, he has conned millions of people into believing that you have to post inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull self-important detritus of the minutiae of your life to achieve a sense of affirmation from like minded people who also post inane, uninteresting, incredibly dull, self-important detritus of the minutiae of their lives."

He didn't have to convince anybody. Most people are already like that.

Don't you get out much?

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h3
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Re: You almost had me...

It will be getting removed from my mothers phone if this is real.

Don't think Google will let it happen if it was just pushed to everyone with a homescreen replacement by default. (Or even offering next time you press the home button).

I am surprised we ended up in this situation. (If Murdock had said in all his owned media that Facebook is only used by young kids and the people who pray on them before it got big (When he owned Myspace) it would never have happened like this it is somewhat out of character for him maybe he is just getting too old).

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Devil

Ads on the home screen or April Fool

I wonder which is more likely ?

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Re: Ads on the home screen or April Fool

Well, there are more fools than Aprils .. :)

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I Be Afraid.

Right now the Facebook app is the one thing on my Android phone that is always half-baked. It has "Network errors" when nothing else does, it uploads photos that never arrive at Facebook, or which are posted four times. It hangs for endless periods.

In short, it sucks.

On top of that, Facebook is a company that I really don't trust, and I've long since stripped any "real" information out of it, and refuse to let it connect with any other site or app.

...the Facebook app has the ability to read settings for the HTC Launcher, the stock Android launcher, and the Touchwiz launcher – this, Android Police believes, is a smoking gun that indicates the app may become available as a standalone app in the Google Play Store as well.

Aha. I'm betting that the next "upgrade" to the Facebook app will try to tie it so tightly into the Android OS that it will be nearly impossible to sandbox. That's the moment when it will disappear from my phone.

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Windows

Re: I Be Afraid.

If it's anything like the Faceshite app on my old HTC phone, you'll be jailbreaking it to uninstall.

Unless this was an April Fools story, I've really no idea any more.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I Be Afraid.

This is why I'm planning to ditch my Mac and move to a Linux desktop - the latest two generations of OSX (Lion and Mountain Lion) come with Facebook integration out of the box.

Even Snow Leopard had 'Share' options helpfully bundled with certain apps, but these were easy enough to rip out when you know how to find and inspect .plist files.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I Be Afraid.

I hope history will repeat itself

2000 - E-mailer from Alan Michael Zucker

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-mailer

2013 - Android phone from Marcus SugarMountain

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Facebook Phone Really

Ohh for the days when real relationships with real people were more important than who just friended/de-friended you on fb and how many likes your last comments had.

Mid-Range HTC Device too ehhh, cutting edge stuff.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Facebook Phone Really

Wait! You mean there are "real people" out there? But ....

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Re: Facebook Phone Really

Oh I wouldn't say "real".

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Anonymous Coward

Zuck off

Fuckerberg

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Re: Zuck off

Facecrook own my homescreen?

Go die in a fire...

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FAIL

Hubris.

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Headmaster

"making the social network an ever-present companion for people with extremely low IQs"

FTFY

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Yeah

Why does this make me think of John Romero? "Mark Zuckerberg wants to make you his bitch..."

Suck it down...this thursday!

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Another reason

to not to buy HTC

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Meh

Disaster

Not sure this really is an April Fools', because Facebook put out their "New home on Android" announcement quite some time ago. In any case, the FB app on Android is buggy, unusuably slow and generally a total car crash. If they can't sort that, then any such venture is DOA and a waste of everyone's time.

The re-written/re-issued iOS app, however, is honestly excellent. Slick, fast and generally very pleasant to use.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Its called the HTC One

It already integrates far too much into my HTC One. For example if I go to my Gallery I'm presented with all my friends photos like they are in my Gallery. Very annoying and tricky to remove. I'd much rather the standalone app than this rubbish that can't be removed without skills to hack apart Android. Shame on HTC's part.

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Facebook App permissions

The current android Facebook App requires permissions that it clearly can't justify - along with the snafu whereby it rewrote everyone's address books I have to wonder if anyone actually uses it rather than just the smart phone browser to access the website like they do on their computers.

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Stop

No thankyou

I already don't understand people using the FB app. It's a massive resource hog and it does the same stuff as visiting the page, only with more noise.

Even my friends that have a total disregard for their own privacy have stopped "checking in" all over the place due to that guy (you know the one) starting to turn up in places where they've just announced they're enjoying a quiet meal or pint.

I've got no problem with FB as a tool for posting nonsense about what you've been up to, and sending inconsequential messages about the place, but given their blatant (and financially motivated) disregard for privacy I really can't see why I would want anything they wrote being allowed to run on my phone, let alone take it over entirely.

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Thumb Up

Zuck & Co. have embedded Facebook on phones ...

but they still won't work in several countries as the powers that are have deemed FB a waste of time.

Thank you, Ha Noi, for doing something good.

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"companion for people with a thirst for e-validation."

For some reason, I read that as "e-violation"...

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Anonymous Coward

The key question...

Will it divert everything (including apps) via a Facebook app store, and disallow Google Play...

If so, then it will flop in the same way Amazon flopped with the Kindle Fire.

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Farcebook

What is worst about the App is that you cannot uninstall it even on current phones without rooting them. It's a resource hog and I don't want it installed, let alone running. No I wouldn't buy any smartphone that was based on Farcebook, and if they keep this up I may well do what several of my friends (real friends) have done and shutdown their account. Have a website and an app by all means but don't try and force it on people who don't want it. All you do is alienate them.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Farcebook

"Have a website and an app by all means but don't try and force it on people who don't want it. All you do is alienate them."

It's the in-thing, didn't you know? There's symmetry there- google forcing you to join their unloved social network to post app reviews seems to exist in the same circle of Heck as a phone with facebook tentacles in every orifice, whether you want them or not.

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h3
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Re: Farcebook

You can disable built in Apps on Android 4.0 and later. (At least AOSP or GED Android).

Settings -> Apps -> All -> Appname -> disable and then reboot (Anything that is a system App you get disable instead of uninstall).

This is on my Xoom with USA stock rom might be slightly different on phones. (Or disabled by junk overlays.)

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Devil

Yet another thing that will keep the progressives awake at night!

This just in

Experiment Shows How Facebook Can Spread Racist Thoughts

By Tom Jacobs, Pacific Standard

"Heavy Facebook users are more likely than those who log on occasionally to react positively to racist remarks."

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Anonymous Coward

Isn't this the problem? every company wants to "dominate".

Can't we just have some choice please?

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Anonymous Coward

G+

Have you not all moved over to Google+ with the rest of the IT community yet?

No 'requires permission to silently take photos and record audio' there.

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Mushroom

Re: G+

Both of you are there. I don't think anyone else is interested....

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