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back to article NORKS says USA attack took it offline ... as if anyone could tell

North Korea is warning that the US and its allies “should be held wholly accountable” after claiming that a massive cyber attack has taken the country offline over the past two days, despite virtually no one in the secretive state being allowed on the interwebs. The axis of evil state’s Korean Central News Agency blamed the US, …

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I'm guessing this is safer than attacking other countries

If this is true and considering the source it's a big if then it has to be safer than doing the same to someone else say China.

The Chinese have an army of cyber warfare agents ready to respond in kind. The North Korean's due to the local limits are unlikely to have a similar set up. I'm sure they have some form of cyber warfare specialists but the numbers must be on the low side compared to just about any other nation on earth.

Considering most of the country doesn't even have access to electric lights I'm guessing no one noticed anyway.

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Facepalm

Puts the people of North Korea in a difficult position

On the one hand, this action from the American capitalist pig-dogs should obviously be condemned by all as a violation of their rights, and anyone who doesn't show their support for the glorious leader is an elitist bourgeois imperialist sympathiser -

But on the other hand, anyone with knowledge of the internet, who claims to have been affected by the outage, or knowledge of what this attack actually signifies would also essentially be an elitist bourgeois imperialist sympathiser.

Forget starvation, it's dilemmas like these that make life in North Korea so difficult.

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Alert

The real story.

Wait, North Korea has a tech blog?

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Re: The real story.

It's not really a blog, its just an old CRT monitor that someone's written on with a whiteboard marker.

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Intensive virus attacks?

Intensive and persistent virus attacks are being made every day on internet servers

This kind of statement makes me wonder what exactly is going on. Of course there are always attempts to compromise servers, surely they didn't just discovered this. Maybe he is referring to the kind of virus attack one gets after visiting free pr0n sites. Which side of the firewall are we talking about here?

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Angel

Dear Leader had to go without his daily porn binge? Oh no the horrors.

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Happy

Title

Would that be American porn?

Oh the Irony

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Re: Title

Well his old man was supposedly a lover of Hollywood movies, with one of the largest collections in the world.

Oh the iro-

oh.

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Facepalm

Dos?

Packeting North Korea with a kilostream would take them offline. Maybe dear leader just tripped over the power cable.

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Joke

Re: Dos?

Great Leader "Quick! Reboot the Belkin Router!"

Lacky "Yes, I shall, Great Leader. If that doesn't work, I shall visit the lapdog bourgeoise capitalist pigdogs."

Great Leader "Where in the world?"

Lacky "PC World."

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Trollface

"despicable and base acts"

Dear $deity, I shudder to think of the poor router's ports and how sore they must be.

Because obviously there was no KY in sight, I'll wager.

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Oh NOES!

What did KimDotCom do?

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Left out?

I think he just felt left out due to the recent news about USA's shenanigans hacking China, Iran and god knows who else.

South Korea is best Korea!

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Gold badge

I thought North Korea were using Red Star Linux, so should be relatively safe from the internet's usual nasties. On which subject, have they released the source for that, or should we send in Richard Stallman?

Let's just hope this doesn't give anonymous any ideas, or they might manage to start their first war.

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Much more likely it's Hollywood going after The Piratebay.

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more tech-savvy than his presidential predecessors

But Kim Jong Ill invented computers and the internet! How could he be more tech savvy than that?

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Trollface

Hmmmmm...

Only 1 down vote for each post dissing NK, who'd have thought it, Kim Jong-un reads elReg.

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Re: Hmmmmm...

Maybe this is their crack cyber security team getting revenge...

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Black Helicopters

Re: Hmmmmm...

Two downvotes in some cases. Looks like they just doubled their efforts.

Phil.

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IT Angle

Translation: We lost the floppy disk we boot off of.....

Either that, or the Norks host on AWS!!

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Re: Translation: We lost the floppy disk we boot off of.....

Or they forgot to turn on the 14.4K external modem...

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Facepalm

Wait a minute!

This is really a story about how most of the North Koreans don't have access to the internet PRETENDING to be a story about America, who hates it when enemies hack it, hacks the shit out of its enemies.

A tasty farrago of 'bait and switch' and 'plausible deniability.' Well done.

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