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back to article UK cops, boffins to crack out war plan against cyber-crims

UK ministers have discovered that computer hacking is no longer the preserve of awkward teens tapping away in their bedrooms - and will now wage war on gangs raiding Brits' online accounts. The government has formed a new Cyber Crime Reduction Partnership to bring together top cops, security experts and boffins to come up with …

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Unhappy

Biggest Criminal Gang

Every month my salary gets raided by a notorious gang that goes by the handle #HMRC

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Unhappy

Hmmm

"Simon Leech, director for HP’s enterprise security arm in EMEA, welcome the move."

Sniffs yet another juicy public sector contract. Guzzle guzzle guzzle. Noses in the trough.

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Holmes

I feel safer already......

Sarc tags may have been stolen from this comment......

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Inaction fraud

Perhaps they have never tried to report anything on the action fraud website? There's nowhere to provide any of the inormation that might be useful to follow up an investigation - just a way to collect dubious statistics.

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Silver badge

Stop Hiring...

...teh stupid.

War won.

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A little behind the times

The UK has become a haven for cyber criminals and the problem will get far worse before authorities gain some control over the crims.

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Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: A little behind the times

"The UK has become a haven for cyber criminals and the problem will get far worse before authorities gain some control over the crims."

This message brought to you by the Total National Information Service ®. Limitations depending on your legal status may apply. Keep calm and carry on shopping™. Thank you for helping us help you to help us alll™.

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Anonymous Coward

"new breed of criminal.."

"..selling off-the-shelf software to aid..."

Sorry, when did selling the software become a criminal offence. I'm sure they want to stop the production and sale but calling people who write the code (as opposed to those who use it) criminal is a bit of a stretch, in the same way that gun manufacturers are not criminal either (regardless of my personal opinion).

This sort of weasely wording is what sticks in the public's minds, and once people start to accept its constant repetition (like 'piracy is theft') they are more likely to accept crap new laws designed to 'address the problem'. If wording like this is not slammed then within a few years anybody who makes vulnerability scanners, pen-testing software, etc will be classed as criminals ('cos they aid the hackers). There is a fine line between legitimate scanners and things like metasploit framework - both of which may be used for legitimate and illegitimate purposes. The issue is by whom (and for what) they are being used, NOT that they are being produced and sold.

I'm all in favour of tackling the issue of hackers but things like this makes me angry.

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Ring Ring..

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Click

"Ello Ello Ello. Plod Here."

"Oh, Hi. I'd like to report a 'spearfishing' attack. Someone has repeatedly attempted to install Trojans on my computer via e-mail."

"Rugby League or American Football Sir?"

"Uhm, no. Computer Trojans."

"Ooooh. Yes Sir. We at Plod Central know all about those. I picked the American Football Screen Saver."

"No. Look I ran them under a Virtual Machine and used WireShark to log the Traffic. I've got the connection logs."

"Fantasy Football Sir. Are The Wiresharks a new Team on the Block?"

"No.. you don't understand. I've got the traffic logs."

"Ahh. Got you. I'll just transfer you to the relevent department. Wait one."

"Ok. Thanks."

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Click

"Hi. Thank you for calling the Department of Traffic Wardens. Our hours of Business are When You Least Expect Us. Unfortunately we are busy slapping our quota of tickets about the place. Please call again some other time."

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Gold badge
Holmes

" and will now wage war on gangs raiding Brits' online accounts."

Perhaps starting with the scum at Monster.com who "improved" the UK job search site into (by all accounts) a grossly insecure PoS.

We might proceed onto the Universal orifice portal site which appears to be a way for UK subjects to get their contacts from HMG without needing an email address, handy for a vast swath of people who don't in fact need an email address (unless they feel the need to twee "Under Victoria Viaduct trying not to freeze to death in cardboard box").

Except it's not.

Icon demonstrates my view. Somewhat behinds the times?

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Silver badge

I wonder

"For too long the public's perception of cyber crime has been a lone bedroom hacker stealing money from a bank account," security minister James Brokenshire"

I wonder if that is just a typical sentence for a minister to start a "speech" with, or is it perhaps the minister who has recently been informed about the reality. Anyway, I don't think he, or anybody else, knows that much about the "public's perception". A rather silly sentence and not getting any better with the 'off-the-shelf' stuff.

Now where is the "grumpy in the morning" icon.

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Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I wonder

I'm grumpy in the evening but that perception has not been à la mode since about before the Y2K cutover. Or was it before the Matrix movie (the original one)?

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Facepalm

Re: I wonder

"For too long the public's perception of cyber crime has been a lone bedroom hacker stealing money from a bank account," security minister James Brokenshire"

Whereas everyone knows if someone is stealing from your bank account, you probably bank in Cyprus and it's probably the EU doing the stealing

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Silver badge
FAIL

No doubt the cyber perpetrators are shaking in their boots ...

from laughter.

If the USA can't keep the bad guys out of their computers, why does the UK government think it can do any better?

All that is going to happen is that ball-breaker Mad May with be conned into spending yet more money on doomed schemes. No doubt Capita or G4S will form a cyber protection subsidiary so they can keep on milking the public purse.

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Mushroom

The 'war' is already lost. No state this far behind the game can ever catchup.

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