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back to article Curiosity's MYSTERY MARS find: NASA reveals THE TRUTH

NASA will show the world today just what its Curiosity rover discovered in its study of the first Martian rock powder sample. First Curiosity drilling sample in the scoop SCOOP! Yes, Curiosity scooped up this soil from Martian surface The space agency will hold a press conference at 1700 GMT (1000 PDT, 1300 EDT) to reveal the …

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Mushroom

Spoiler Alert

My guess.. the powdered remains of whatever alien the rover found and then blasted with its nuclear powered laser. Rumours that the rover's speech synthesis setup has been programmed to scream "exterminate! exterminate!" in the event of first contact may or may not be false.

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We Found Life!

Then we cooked it...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: We Found Life!

coming to a Lasagne near you soon.

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El
Happy

Re: We Found Life!

Mmmm.... tasty!

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Coat

Re: We Found Life!

Nah, there are no horses on Mars

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Bronze badge

Re: We Found Life!

Only because they were used to fill in all the canals.

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Detailed analysis revealed the sample to contain up to 17% equine contaminants.

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El
Thumb Up

I'm pretty sure they will conclude they found an authentic Martian sex stone... in other words, just another fucking rock!

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Trollface

Nice headline

And The Reg's spiral into becoming the new "Weekly World News" type of comedy tabloid continues.

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Trollface

Re: Nice headline

I've really been wanting updated on the status of bat boy....

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Re: Nice headline

Pity, they'd do far, far better as "The Onion", with an IT twist.

Oops, they were, they're experiencing scope creep, in the typical, horrific fashion.

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Alert

Rumour is NASA have given it a code-name of 'Soylent Green'.

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Joke

No doubt if it is tasty it'll soon be available in a shape suitable for portability and pocket storage, a rectangular bar maybe. Probably wrapped in a plastic film to preserve it with a suitable logo on it. I've no idea what they'd call it though ...

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Happy

Re: not sure what they will call it?

Twinky?

Found one in a box, not properly sealed. First thought it was a St. Patrick's Day special, but upon closer inspection....

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Coat

Obvious.....

This is what several billion years old green cheese looks like!

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Unhappy

NASA TV?

Sheesh. Audio drops out once the viewing figure gets to 1030. They may fly but.....

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Happy

The truth that NASA will reveal is......that a Mars a day helps you work,rest & play! Simples :)

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And how much did they pay you to post that little advert?

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Happy

Pay? Pay? Oh I wish I had that much influance :)

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must link this to something topical!

Maybe they'll discover that shortly after its formation, while the planet was still young, it was touched by jimmy savile.

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Coat

Given the age of the planet it's more likely going to be Bruce Forsyth or Cliff Richard.

Oh, you meant inappropriately touched, sorry.

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Coat

How do you inappropriately touch a planet? Shove a finger into its south pole?

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It's going to have........minerals. but not just ANY minerals, these minerals COULD show that there is a POSSIBILITY of past WATER on Mars!. AND, trace elements found in organic life!

Summary, there could have been water on mars, and organic compounds could have been life at one time, but we still don't know.....

Move along......

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Anonymous Coward

Ah, but now we know it must have been MINERAL water..

I'll be here all week, thanks.

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Alien

NASA has found.....

That when you place the ground-up sample in a fishbowl you get sea monkeys!!

I for one welcome our aquatic arthropod Martian overlords!

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Re: NASA has found.....

..... and they could have evolved into Aquaman!

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Childcatcher

Re: NASA has found.....

Of course the clue is in the name "fine-grained, veiny sedimentary rock". Sedimentary: laid down in a liquid aka water. But alternatively I suppose the liquid could be hydrocarbon etc. Now that would be interesting.

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Happy

Re: NASA has found.....

Some sediments are actually deposited by wind. Plenty of that on Mars. Hydrocarbons would be interesting. Await yells of "There's oil in them there hills!!!", followed by a rush to get to the oil first

(and once found, wondering how on earth (Mars) they can ship it back to the nearest refinery)

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I watched the press conference.

It's clay with rounded sand grains. Proof of water existing at that location in the past. The rest was speculation.

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Re: I watched the press conference.

Not really, there was, strangely enough, beer residue.

Was Mars killed off by a massive keger? ;)

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Pint

No, definitely Cannabis Resin

...as a mate down the pub (Honest, Ossifer!) tried to tell me. "You won't get sh*it like this anywhere on the planet, mate!"

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Trollface

Thants some expensive chalk

Don't they sell the pool/snooker chalk closer to home?

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Alien

Greenish powder = copper

Greenish powder

Looks like what was round the copper pipes into the radiator in the bathroom.

Maybe they've found a martian heating system.

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Stop

This is not news.

This entire article is pointless. Wait for the announcement and give the result, that is news. Telling us that it's not here yet is not news.

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Black Helicopters

What was it?

What was the announcement?

None of the news agencies seemed to report it.

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