Oklahoma woman cuffed with loaded .22 in pork holster
An Oklahoma woman busted on drugs and firearms charges earlier this week was found to have concealed a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina, the Smoking Gun reports. Christie Dawn Harris, 28, was cuffed in the early hours of Monday morning in Ada, some 120km souteast of Oklahoma City. Cops spotted her and Jennifer Delancy reclining …
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Re: Pork holster.
Sounds like an entry from the Profanasaurus. Other delightful terms for Lady bits include: fish mitten, loosely packed kebab, furry vertical bicycle stand, growler, grotter, and c*ckwash. Not sure how many of those are going to make it into the Oxford English Dictionary though.
Re: Pork holster.
Probably not many! But there are still plenty to choose from, even if you pick a theme along the lines of Pork Holster. You can have these for free: Gammon Alley, Furburger, Cod Canyon, Oxo Orifice, Tuna Tunnel, Cod Crater, Sausage Wallet, and of course my favorite - Mc Flappy Meal
World women's day tomorrow you say? I better be off now then
Re: Pork holster.
It's always reminded me more of sliced roast beef.
Re: Pork holster.
So there was some truth in the 'Processed Meat Linked To Early Death' story after all.
Re: Fish holster
Only two things in the world smell like fish, and one of them's fish.
Smoking gun, eh?
You'd think she would at least let it cool off first...
Was the saftey catch on ?
Or it would be the biggest wad she was ever shot with.
Urggh did I really say that.
"gun located in suspect vagina"
I'm sure it's on purpose they didn't phrase it "suspect's vagina".
When I try to think about what she did ....
... my brain screams and runs away.
Re: Pork holster.
"I then retrieved from between Christie's buttock, two clear baggies containing a large amount of a crystal substance."
Was it crack?
Was it crack?
Being Oklahoma, likely not - it is more probable it was meth.
So rather than crack crack, it was messy meth.
Re: Pork holster.
Yeah, new kind, kinda whiffy and brown, bum crack its called...
Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER
http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Shows/the+fifth+estate/ID/2308854708/
Re: Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER
Okay, I get it, but what I was really looking for was a woman showing one can bring a bomb onto a plane or whatever via a dildo. Nothing short of a strip search (like what the jail was doing) would bring it out, and if the woman was sufficiently kinky, you wouldn't even know it in her step. As the only way to find it would be to stomp the US 4th Amendment to the ground (as a strip search without GOOD reason would be considered unreasonable--not to mention trending sexist and therefore discriminatory), this could get the security theater hawks to wring their hands and realize, "You'll lose. What'll it be? The dildo bomb or Big Brother?"
Re: Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER
I seem to recall a device called a "charger" being mentioned a few times in Papillion.
Whilst internally carried explosives haven't proven to do more than make a mess of the bomber when set off, there's nothing saying they have to be detonated internally once smuggled into the appropriate location.
Bumper sticker
"I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my ... "
etc, etc
Re: A revolver?
Yes, and that also addresses the "was the safety on" question (a small revolver like this is not likely to have a safety at all). Given the statement it had one spent and 3 live rounds, I'd assume it's a 4 shot revolver, which in .22 could be quite small (esp. if it is .22 short, rather than .22 long rifle, which is the more common round).
Re: A revolver?
A fairly tiny looking thing. But some sharp edges!
http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot26.htm
Re: David A. Hagood (was Re: A revolver?)
A .22 short revolver?
You mean a hole punch?
Re: A revolver?
Access Denied : Weapons
Great .... now my BOFH is gonna think im about to go postal :)
Re: A revolver?
That one spent shell is what bothers me most. Mind swirling in scenarios, one more cringeworthy than the other...
A new spin on safe sex
Bummer when you have to wear a Kevlar condom.
Scary part if she comes first....
Re: A new spin on safe sex
Don't think it was a bummer, was it?
This adds creedence to why Texas doesn't drift off into the Gulf.
Because "Oklahoma Sucks" (or similar words).
This just proves the example. Thank again, "our bodies are our temples" might be more in mind here.
Kinda sad the name as I just finished a ham sandwich a few moments ago (*SIGH*).
Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!
Screw the children, someone needs to think of the unpleasant images these stories plant in my already media-bombed mind!!
Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!
I take it you haven't seen Machete...
There was a demonstration of similar storage skills early into the movie, which had exactly the opposite effect than what you mentioned!
Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!
Or the Doctor Who episode Bad Wolf.
Trinn-e: But that's a Compact Laser Deluxe.
Zu-zana: Where were you hiding that?
Jack Harkness: You really don't want to know.
Trinn-e: Give me that accessory *BANG*
Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!
"Screw the children,"
Err, that is a statement and not a request?
Under UK law that might be viewed as incitement.
She's lucky she got arrested...
when a Darwin award was the obvious outcome.
Re: She's lucky she got arrested...
Depends which way it was inserted. Though neither option could be described as comfortable if it did go off.
However, given the wooden handle was visible in this case, then Darwin was definitely on standby.
Showing my age, I know ...
.... but I instantly thought of "Eskimo Nell" ....
"Then, Mexican Pete did leap to his feet
To avenge his pal's affront,
With a jarring jolt of his blue-nosed Colt,
He rammed it up Nellie's c***.
He rammed it hard to the trigger guard,
Then fired two times three,
But to his surprise, Nell closed her eyes
And smiled in ecstasy."
I'm surprised no one has thought of calling the hiding place a
Gunt.
Or is that too rude?!
Re: I'm surprised no one has thought of calling the hiding place a
I'm afraid "gunt" has already been taken. It refers to the flab overhanging and sometimes obscuring the nether regions on a particularly obese woman. From "gut" + "cunt".
Prison break
Guard: "She shoved a pair of 38s in my face. And then she pulled a gun on me."
Anyone wonder what happened to the spent round?
Something tells me the reason why the suspect was so keen to ditch it was that somewhere there is a person with an additional hole in them.
With such a small weapon you wouldn't run around with it unless it either had 3 rounds and an empty chamber or all 4 loaded.
Unless you were in a tearing hurry to get somewhere. Or get away from somewhere.
Might turn up in ER. Might turn up in the morgue.
Did I click on «The Smoking Gun» by mistake -
or has there been a merger with the Reg which I managed to miss in the the media flow ?...
Henri
I can't believe
That no one has commented on the fact that she wasn't didn't have "carrying a concealed weapon" added to her arrest sheet!
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