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back to article Oklahoma woman cuffed with loaded .22 in pork holster

An Oklahoma woman busted on drugs and firearms charges earlier this week was found to have concealed a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina, the Smoking Gun reports. Christie Dawn Harris, 28, was cuffed in the early hours of Monday morning in Ada, some 120km souteast of Oklahoma City. Cops spotted her and Jennifer Delancy reclining …

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Pork holster.

Brilliant. Lester, I salute you. :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Pork holster.

Sounds like an entry from the Profanasaurus. Other delightful terms for Lady bits include: fish mitten, loosely packed kebab, furry vertical bicycle stand, growler, grotter, and c*ckwash. Not sure how many of those are going to make it into the Oxford English Dictionary though.

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Coat

Re: Pork holster.

Probably not many! But there are still plenty to choose from, even if you pick a theme along the lines of Pork Holster. You can have these for free: Gammon Alley, Furburger, Cod Canyon, Oxo Orifice, Tuna Tunnel, Cod Crater, Sausage Wallet, and of course my favorite - Mc Flappy Meal

World women's day tomorrow you say? I better be off now then

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Pork holster.

It's always reminded me more of sliced roast beef.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: sliced roast beef

that's tomorrow's dinner sorted

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Re: Pork holster.

So there was some truth in the 'Processed Meat Linked To Early Death' story after all.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Fish holster

Where is the tech in this?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Fish holster

Only two things in the world smell like fish, and one of them's fish.

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Anonymous Coward

Hairy magnet

is more appropriate perhaps

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Windows

Re: Pork holster.

Vertical bacon sandwich...

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Pint

Smoking gun, eh?

You'd think she would at least let it cool off first...

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Anonymous Coward

Was the saftey catch on ?

Or it would be the biggest wad she was ever shot with.

Urggh did I really say that.

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"gun located in suspect vagina"

I'm sure it's on purpose they didn't phrase it "suspect's vagina".

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When I try to think about what she did ....

... my brain screams and runs away.

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Coat

Re: Pork holster.

"I then retrieved from between Christie's buttock, two clear baggies containing a large amount of a crystal substance."

Was it crack?

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Anonymous Coward

Was it crack?

Being Oklahoma, likely not - it is more probable it was meth.

So rather than crack crack, it was messy meth.

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Windows

Re: Pork holster.

Yeah, new kind, kinda whiffy and brown, bum crack its called...

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Go

Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER

http://www.cbc.ca/player/Shows/Shows/the+fifth+estate/ID/2308854708/

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Re: Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER

Okay, I get it, but what I was really looking for was a woman showing one can bring a bomb onto a plane or whatever via a dildo. Nothing short of a strip search (like what the jail was doing) would bring it out, and if the woman was sufficiently kinky, you wouldn't even know it in her step. As the only way to find it would be to stomp the US 4th Amendment to the ground (as a strip search without GOOD reason would be considered unreasonable--not to mention trending sexist and therefore discriminatory), this could get the security theater hawks to wring their hands and realize, "You'll lose. What'll it be? The dildo bomb or Big Brother?"

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Re: Here' Some REAL News: The PORK BOMBER

I seem to recall a device called a "charger" being mentioned a few times in Papillion.

Whilst internally carried explosives haven't proven to do more than make a mess of the bomber when set off, there's nothing saying they have to be detonated internally once smuggled into the appropriate location.

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Bumper sticker

"I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my ... "

etc, etc

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Coat

Is that a gun in your...

... ewwwwww!

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A revolver?

See title

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A revolver?

Yes, and that also addresses the "was the safety on" question (a small revolver like this is not likely to have a safety at all). Given the statement it had one spent and 3 live rounds, I'd assume it's a 4 shot revolver, which in .22 could be quite small (esp. if it is .22 short, rather than .22 long rifle, which is the more common round).

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Alert

Re: A revolver?

A fairly tiny looking thing. But some sharp edges!

http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot26.htm

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Re: David A. Hagood (was Re: A revolver?)

A .22 short revolver?

You mean a hole punch?

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Coat

Re: A revolver?

Access Denied : Weapons

Great .... now my BOFH is gonna think im about to go postal :)

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Re: A revolver?

That one spent shell is what bothers me most. Mind swirling in scenarios, one more cringeworthy than the other...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A revolver?

A ReVulva?

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Anonymous Coward

A new spin on safe sex

Bummer when you have to wear a Kevlar condom.

Scary part if she comes first....

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Re: A new spin on safe sex

Don't think it was a bummer, was it?

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Anonymous Coward

female officer

who found it musta worked for TSA before

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This adds creedence to why Texas doesn't drift off into the Gulf.

Because "Oklahoma Sucks" (or similar words).

This just proves the example. Thank again, "our bodies are our temples" might be more in mind here.

Kinda sad the name as I just finished a ham sandwich a few moments ago (*SIGH*).

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Childcatcher

Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!

Screw the children, someone needs to think of the unpleasant images these stories plant in my already media-bombed mind!!

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Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!

I take it you haven't seen Machete...

There was a demonstration of similar storage skills early into the movie, which had exactly the opposite effect than what you mentioned!

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Terminator

Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!

Or the Doctor Who episode Bad Wolf.

Trinn-e: But that's a Compact Laser Deluxe.

Zu-zana: Where were you hiding that?

Jack Harkness: You really don't want to know.

Trinn-e: Give me that accessory *BANG*

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Childcatcher

Re: Leave it to the Register to print a story that can at once put me off both sex and violence!!!

"Screw the children,"

Err, that is a statement and not a request?

Under UK law that might be viewed as incitement.

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Holmes

She's lucky she got arrested...

when a Darwin award was the obvious outcome.

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Re: She's lucky she got arrested...

Depends which way it was inserted. Though neither option could be described as comfortable if it did go off.

However, given the wooden handle was visible in this case, then Darwin was definitely on standby.

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Flame

Prisoner banged up

Jailer gets to grip with the problem.

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Mushroom

Only a complete cu__ would do a thing like this.

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Safe sex...

so long as it wasn't cocked.

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Unhappy

Showing my age, I know ...

.... but I instantly thought of "Eskimo Nell" ....

"Then, Mexican Pete did leap to his feet

To avenge his pal's affront,

With a jarring jolt of his blue-nosed Colt,

He rammed it up Nellie's c***.

He rammed it hard to the trigger guard,

Then fired two times three,

But to his surprise, Nell closed her eyes

And smiled in ecstasy."

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I'm surprised no one has thought of calling the hiding place a

Gunt.

Or is that too rude?!

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Headmaster

Re: I'm surprised no one has thought of calling the hiding place a

I'm afraid "gunt" has already been taken. It refers to the flab overhanging and sometimes obscuring the nether regions on a particularly obese woman. From "gut" + "cunt".

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Joke

Prison break

Guard: "She shoved a pair of 38s in my face. And then she pulled a gun on me."

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Unhappy

Anyone wonder what happened to the spent round?

Something tells me the reason why the suspect was so keen to ditch it was that somewhere there is a person with an additional hole in them.

With such a small weapon you wouldn't run around with it unless it either had 3 rounds and an empty chamber or all 4 loaded.

Unless you were in a tearing hurry to get somewhere. Or get away from somewhere.

Might turn up in ER. Might turn up in the morgue.

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Tell me about pork barrel.

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IT Angle

Did I click on «The Smoking Gun» by mistake -

or has there been a merger with the Reg which I managed to miss in the the media flow ?...

Henri

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WTF?

I can't believe

That no one has commented on the fact that she wasn't didn't have "carrying a concealed weapon" added to her arrest sheet!

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