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back to article No.10 guru: UK tech scene is AN EXPLODING CHEESE

Rohan Silva - Downing Street's backroom adviser credited with hyping east London's Silicon Roundabout of tech startups - has given a rare interview. Speaking to WiReD UK, the "senior policy adviser" to the Prime Minister attempted to find a metaphor for the phenomenon. This is what he came up with. I think a tech scene is …

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Stop right there.

No.10 guru: next please...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Stop right there.

Does he get paid for his advice?

He does! Madness.

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FAIL

Bong based on him then?

Or is it really a genuine column and we all assumed....?

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Anonymous Coward

I'm surprised Steve Bong didn't do the interview

Seems about the right level for both Silva and WiReD UK...

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The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth, .... so Help Me Global Operating Devices

Rohan Silva - Downing Street's backroom adviser credited with hyping east London's Silicon Roundabout of tech startups - has given a rare interview. Speaking to WiReD UK, the "senior policy adviser" to the Prime Minister attempted to find a metaphor for the phenomenon.

Methinks. Andrew, the Prime Minister is in dire straits need of much better senior policy advisers.

And, if that is disagreeable to the Prime Minister, the nation in dire straits need of a new PM.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth, .... so Help Me Global Operating Devices

Is it just me that thinks the phrase "Backroom Adviser" is a metaphor for something?

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Title probably tells you all that you need to know

Basically, the government are relying on "advisors" (I use the term in the loosest possible sense of the word) that think marketing is more important than substance.

"It is a tale

Told by an idiot

Full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing. "

(Macbeth)

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P_0

If Silicon Valley were a cheese it would be a fine slice of Brie.

I'm not sure what cheese Shoreditch is.

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Joke

I think the answer is....

.... A tesco value processed cheese slice.

It's cheap, plasticky and I think the closest it ever gets to cheese is that it's sold in the same shops....

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Happy

Re: I think the answer is....

On the upside at least it doesn't contain horse.

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Re: I think the answer is....

Cocaine, on the other hand.

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Paris Hilton

Re: A tesco value processed cheese slice.

Totally off topic but you can get Tesco Value Stilton now - Its obviously the same old Stilton you know and love (it would be illegal to sell it if it wasnt) but its wedge is somewhat crumbled at the apex you could say, hence they are flogging it off a bit cheaper.

This is actually not one of my dumb joke comments either. And yes I know it's off topic but seeing as the topic is a bloke who uses shit cheese metaphors its a valid point to make I feel!

Paris cos I heard she smells Stiltony.

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Coat

Shoreditch is...

Lymeswold.

And likely to be just as successful.

Mine's the one with the sheaf of Government statements saying "We don't pick winners" in.

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Mushroom

Hold on...

So we're paying for foreign companies to use UK state office space in foreign companies? In the name of supporting the UK tech industry?

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So you open an office in London, you have offices in Bangalore, Mumbai, Tokyo, Beijing.

Sounds great, now even small businesses can join the tax avoidance roundabout, all paid for by the UK taxpayer.

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No 10 can't tell cheese from dynamite

They really are fantastically clueless. From the interview: 'Innovation doesn't happen through the workings of some "great computer in the sky", but through dispersed information and power'.

And yet, the one thing the Gov fails to mandate is the means of dispersing information, for Tech City is ubiquitous, fast, fat comms. As has been often pointed out, we already have a Tech City, Cambridge, but it's not so handy for ministerial photo opps.

I'm sure overseas firms will jump at his offer of desk space in London. They'll use it as a base for their sales staff to go out and undercut UK-based outfits, and offshore the work to their home country.

They already know all too well that an information-centric tech-city, in the 21st century, does not need to be physically clustered around latte shops, but virtually, around ready supplies of bandwidth, clever graduates and money.

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Anonymous Coward

Complete Bollocks

That just about sums it up.

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Anonymous Coward

Rohan Silva - backroom adviser.

Be careful this knobs exploding cheese!

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WTF?

Hold on, there is a ManFromMars imposter! That made perfectt sense!

I need a lie down.

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g e
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Holmes

What a load of old guff

let the icon speak.

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Sounds like Corsican cheese

It blew up a ship in Asterix on Corsica.

Reported to be rather "pungent" as well

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Fixed that for you

I think a tech scene is probably a bit like a fine cheese – there’s a moment when it all comes together. I think it’s really about to implode.

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Shoreditch isn't the original Silicon Valley, it's more like the dotcom bubble.

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Anonymous Coward

Exploding, almost

Closest I got to that, was what we used to do at school.

If we had any Dairylea or Laughing Cow cheese triangles (squishy cheese in a foil wrap) left over, we'd place them in the road by the playground, and wait to see if any cars would run over them..... and how many splats it would make up the road. Such fun.

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Re: Exploding, almost

Love the Laughing Cow!

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Anonymous Coward

This is how poor UK politics is

Look at this, I bet this guy doesn't even know conceptually the components of a PC:

"Rohan Silva was previously Senior Policy Adviser for the 2010 General Election and Economic Adviser to the Shadow Chancellor George Osborne. Prior to this, Rohan was a Policy Analyst at HM Treasury. Rohan is also a trustee of the Battersea Arts Centre and on the advisory panel of the Progressive Conservatism project at the think tank Demos."

Setting up a CIO or a CTO office for the UK government? Central procurement office for IT and office equiment? Development of a secure OS platform for government functions?

Nothing of this sort - just a nobody in front of a reporter, babbling outmoded, 10 year old stuff. You really have to look at Germany, South Korea, Australia and Russia to see real IT management - and progress.

You would expect different from a government keen to balance the economy with an industry that promises future technologies and jobs.

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Had to be involved in 'the arts'

No one in the UK gets anywhere without constant 'arts' and 'arts' and more 'arts'.

No room for engineers anymore, we only like 'artists'...

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clueless

The guy is clearly an idiot... but he advising cam MORON so it probably doesn't matter. As normal the UK tax payer is being fleeced of millions to pay idiots, spin yarns and help foreign corporations to do better.

Killing both the tax payer and UK companies in the process.

Typical

What I wonder is just how we have ANY business of any sort left in the UK - anything that can leave has.

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Ignoramus

...a fine cheese – there’s a moment when it all comes together...

This half-wit clearly knows as much about cheese-making as he does about IT. It sounds like he thinks cheese is made from lots of different ingredients, and when you combine them, it's finished. In fact, cheese is mostly just milk, with the addition of rennet to induce curdling, and perhaps a mould culture. It becomes "fine cheese" with keeping.

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Megaphone

Rhetoric Police!

Step away from that metaphor! NOW!

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Holmes

Who needs substance when you have hyperbole? Perhaps he has a classical education, skilled in the arts of rhetoric - in modern terms, a complete bull-shit artist...

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WTF?

Eh?

...there’s a moment when it all comes together. I think it’s really about to explode.

Since when is Plutonium 239 a fine cheese?

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Holmes

no sense

As a company that left London due to the cost and nonsense of working in the UK, i can say getting an office in Singapore or Mumbai is easy enough... why would you want to saddle yourself with the cost of London aswell?

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