back to article Apple CEO Cook's investor-meeting reveal: 'Dog bites man'

One of the duties of a modern CEO is to offer as little detail as possible during investors' meetings, and Apple's headman Tim Cook has proved himself a Jedi master of snooze-inducing vapidity. Speaking at Apple's annual investors meeting on Wednesday at the company's Cupertino headquarters, Cook piled bromide upon cliché upon …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Megaphone

Apple's 100+ gigabuck pile

"We are in very, very active discussions on it..."

C'mom, Tim, give us a hint. E.g:

"We are discussing reducing to a mere 50% the allocation to our legal department's research & development labs."

1
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Silver badge
Coat

No bathrooms

Perhaps when "Apple retail stores are 'like Prozac'" you don't feel the need to piss.

1
1
Silver badge
Meh

Re: No bathrooms

Isn't Prozac is a mood homogeniser? It prevents the lows and the highs, except when it pushes people to suicide.

Allegedly.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: No bathrooms

Totally off-topic, but the Prozac/suicide link appears to be real.

Some years ago, my GP explained it as bringing people out of a "no point doing anything at all" stage of depression into a "I could do something" stage being able to turn "life is unremittingly awful but there's nothing to be done" into "life is unremittingly awful, maybe I could kill myself to escape" - instead of the intended "it can get better".

So watch your friends and family. Depression is common and ****ing awful, and the worst part is that a sufferer will often push their friends and family away just when they need them the most. I did. Be there for them, despite that - they need you, they just don't think they are worthy of your attention.

11
0
Silver badge

Re: No bathrooms

Yep I always assumed that because antidepressants have a long lead time of nearly a month before they affect mood (blood brain barrier is truly a barrier) the side effect of many of them of increasing energy right away is what contributes to the suicide. The depressed person suddenly has energy but the same bad thoughts.

0
1
Thumb Up

Re: No bathrooms

@AC 28/02 05:33

Interactive story here about depression illustrating your points:

http://www.beesgo.biz/dq/DQfinal.html

0
0
g e
Silver badge

Re: No bathrooms

I thought that was Paxil that shoved people to suicide (and to often murder their families immediately prior) or is one the USA brand name of the UK other perhaps?

0
0

Re: No bathrooms

"the Prozac/suicide link appears to be real"

A side effect of many antidepressants is similar - thoughts of self harm/suicide - especially in the first few days. And you can't stop those urges.

1
0

Re: No bathrooms

@AC 28/02 05:33:

A good post. I, too, was a sufferer and found that for most people, depression was a joke disease, no, not even a disease. Until you've been there, believe me, it's no joke.

1
0
Facepalm

Re: No bathrooms

It is a common issue with SSRIs that they cause suicidal ideations. Not good when they start happening before the intended effect of the medication (2-4 weeks, or longer), and you have this nice big bottle of pills sat there. Paroxetine (Paxil) and fluoxetine (Prozac) have the same effect in this regard, as do citalopram and sertraline, at least in my experience.

0
0
Pint

The world doesn't revolve around Apple and I wouldn't mind slightly less stories on The Register about the iPhone maker. I love my iMac and all but still.

3
1
Silver badge
Coat

@rcorrect

We will have to accept that all the bad things in the world started with an apple. Surprising, but there is not much The Register can do about it and history will always repeat itself. iMac OK, iApple the problem.

3
0

Hmm, wonder if you'd have said that if it was a positive story about Apple?

0
2
Silver badge

It was a Prozac story about Apple.

Or maybe a Soma story?

0
0
Silver badge

hmm

Apple 2013 meet Microsoft 1999. Hard to stay on top of the world forever especially in technology.

3
0
Joke

Sideshow Bob..

"....spiced up that word-for-word repetition with a sly reference to Sideshow Bob"

I agree with the Bob reference. Cook should have been wapped by multiple rakes at random times throughout the presentation, this would have at least attracted attention from the washroom shortage question.

2
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Sideshow Bob..

I remember that episode :)

0
0
Silver badge
Go

Re: Sideshow Bob..

As I understand it, the shareholders tricked Cook into singing the entire score from HMS Pinafore.

1
0
Rob
Thumb Up

Re: Sideshow Bob.. @frank ly

Me too and I still fall off my seat laughing, I think it's the point when any usual gag would have stopped but they carry on just that little bit longer.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

To Infinity Loop and Beyond

Apple should chuck $1bn of their $13bn tucked under the mattress at Tito's attempt to send a couple to Mars. Would do wonders for their waning public image. And after all, Apple must own the rights to Mars, given it has rounded corners.

2
0
Silver badge

Bathroom?

Being right-pondian, reading the word Bathroom always makes me wonder, just for a moment, why anyone would want to take a bath in a retail store - even one so exalted as an Apple store. Perhaps cleanliness is next to Jobs-liness.

Even the word Washroom conjures up an image of a hospital sluice, rather than a place to go for a piss.

Why can't you just say toilet, or if you want to be coy about it, lavatory?

6
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Bathroom?

I'm surprised there are any bathroom/washroom/toilets/lavatories in the US. Whenever I travel there and 'eat like a local' I get so constipated there is no need to use one. I guess the paucity of public facilities is a reaction from the general public feeling the same way.

4
1
jai
Silver badge

Re: Bathroom?

Weird, it had never occurred to be that Bathroom wasn't a British word!

You learn something new everyday! And also, to everyone complaining about Apple stories on ElReg, this goes to prove they do have a use. Not only has this furthered by understanding of my own language, but also earlier contain a very useful discussion about depression and public message on caring for those so afflicted.

1
0
FAIL

Re: "Why can't you just say toilet"

For the same reason the English say "loo" instead of toilet. To be criticized for using the word, 'bathroom', by the nation that uses the word 'loo', is just another example of someone else's claim that their shit doesn't stink.

0
0

Re: Bathroom?

For the same reason Brits use "W.C." a lot: it's what it's called. Brit's have a stupidly arrogant habit of pretending their particular name for something is somehow correct, while American's are largely oblivious to the fact that there may be different names other than the ones they use.

But the fact is that the floorplan of the store in question should have a space labelled "bathroom" and it doesn't. The fact that you think that "bathroom" means "room with bath" is all exciting and stuff, but I rather strongly suspect that you have thrown things that aren't waste paper into a waste paper basket, and you only rarely put dust in a dustbin.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Light blue touch paper and retire

Who needs a bathroom in an Apple store. All the crap is laid out on the display tables.

3
0

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This topic is closed for new posts.

Forums