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back to article Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

Dr Simon Park, a senior lecturer in molecular biology at the University of Surrey, has unleashed untold horror on the world in the form of photos of germ colonies on mobile phones. And not just any germs: he's cultured the things that live on undergraduate students' faces. Park justifies his activities as teaching science, …

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Devil

Psychedelicious!

I misread "Boffin snaps spotty student mobe sperm horror", which would have been interesting.

IIRC, these microsbes can be harmless or really nasty skin eating strains. I foresee a market for slightly radioactive mobiles, though the hardware would fail quickly.

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H.G. Wells put it best

"By the toll of a billion deaths, man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his though the Martians were ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

Though those bacterial colonies may look disgusting, without them we could not live, our earth would be piled neck-deep in dead animals and plants, we'd have no immune system, and awesome foodstuffs like yoghurt and cheese would not exist!

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Re: H.G. Wells put it best

This is only the beginning of what lives on and in you. If you count cells numerically, rather than by volume, we're only 90% human. And some of the multicellular organisms in the habitat of a person look truly horrific under the microscope - search "Demodex".

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B-Ark....

... but think of all those new jobs that could be created for Telephone Sanitizers!

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Childcatcher

Re: B-Ark....

It was the hairdressers that survived. So get that beard off NOW!

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Mushroom

"other people, soil, etc"

It's the "etc" part that is most worrying!

(Icon: nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure)

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B-D
WTF?

Well done Simon

Print this article out on cut price toilet paper and you'll have your very own sun article.

You did forget to make bold and capitalise the emotive words though, the HORROR!

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Don't worry, Kickstarter rides to the rescue...

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/588318042/phonesoap-simultaneously-charge-and-sanitize-your

Except, well, it's Kickstarter, so it seems a mystery whether the miraculous phone cleaning device will ever condense from vapourware or not...

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Go

So...

that 'harmful' mobile phone 'radiation' might be a good thing now?

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Mushroom

Re: So...

No it would just speed up the mutation rate, increasing the likelihood something TRULY HORRIFYING is born.

(Hint Deinococus radiodurans can withstand 50,000 grays and is found feeding on faecal matter. Human's get hairless after 3 grays and don't feed on faecal matter.)

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Trollface

Re: So...

Sadly all you've proven is we should either start eating poop or bow down to our poop eating overlords.

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Alert

This article reads remarkably like...

... one of those commercial TV current affairs shock/horror stories that your kitchen bench has more bacteria than your toilet bowl or whatever.

From my (very basic) knowledge of biology, just about anything in a Petri dish will grow into The Slime from 20000 Fathoms' given reasonable conditions and time.

Warning icon in lieu of Biohazard sign.

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Re: This article reads remarkably like...

I've never understood why I should be worried about the bacteria in my toilet bowl.

I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

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Re: I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

But you do atomize some of the water every time you flush ...

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Alert

Cellphone bio mutant bugs!

Nasty skin buggies on cellphones mutating due to cellphone radiation will cause the next ZombyPocalypse!

(yup -- we need a ZombiePocalypse Icon)

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Alert

Re: Cellphone bio mutant bugs!

Next Zombypocalypse? did i miss something?

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Pint

blue light kills acne bacteria (supposedly) but idk if a phone screen will output the right frequency (405–425 nanometer) and I highly doubt it's of sufficient intensity.

Lots of stuff on fleabay designed for this purpose, made in china, dubious claims etc.

Probably why purple LEDs are rare as.

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blue light kills acne bacteria (supposedly)

Expect a patent for the acne prevention phone which detects when it being held close to the face so screen changes to relevant frequency. Only problem is that if it actually worked the user may end up with a phone shaped area of acne free skin...

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Disinfection!

"...doesn’t just remember telephone numbers..." That's the reason why my mobile gets regular treatment with a mixture of propan-1-ol, propan-2-ol and some other ingredients. Doesn't kill all, but a lot.

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Windows

Re: Disinfection!

Isopropyl alcohol, propanol, IPA, rubbing alcohol or, propan-1-ol, propan-2-ol if you prefer, will kill 99.9% of bacteria within 5 minutes...Its as good as bleach and evaporates to leave no residue.

Nor will bleach clean a LCD screeen! ;-)

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Facepalm

Re: Disinfection!

Shame that its the 0.01% of bacteria that make us Ill, eh?

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Re: evaporates to leave no residue

Actually the ATF requires that rubbing alcohol should contain about 0.3% soluble solids - this will be deposited when the alcohol evaporates.

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Go

But can we infer the pattern lock from the distribution of bacteria/fungi?

'cos that would be cool - gross, but cool.

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Happy

Can't help but wonder what viruses were found though. Given how much time a mobile spends in close proximity to your mouth, not to mention the other immunologically questionable activities one may get up to with a camera phone, it's hardly a surprise.

I'm no scientist but I'd imagine that the face of the average mobile is comparatively clean when compared to the hands of the person using it!

Insert questionable pun regarding mobile anti-virus products here.

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Unhappy

I'm sad to say...

...that the class was wiped out when they decided to do a follow-up experiment involving a standard office keyboard. Those that weren't killed by a cocktail of disease were devoured by a QWERTY-based blob monster.

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Alert

Re: I'm sad to say...

and if the keyboard is held upside down and shaken the snot and crumb monsters appear.

torn between 'no shit' and 'run for the hills' icon -- but I guess 'no shit' is incorrect.

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Biology is great...

...it means we're actually naturally protected from most of these nasties. Only a few actually cause any issues, and if bacteria, the results are *mostly* annoying, rather than fatal*.

However...that doesn't quell my desire to never touch or use my phone again.

*Unless it's in an NHS hospital, whereapon they will probably eat you alive in 3 days, starting with the side of your face you put your phone to. Which is a disturbing thought..

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Re: Which is a disturbing thought..

Calm down, no need for panic - they've put those antiseptic gel dispensers everywhere so we're all safe. Until a resistant strain grows on the dispensers.

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Coat

Freak Brother

Oh god I'm having flashbacks of Fat Freddy's sock fungus

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Don't panic!

We're covered, and full of bacteria. Most of it benign.

A bit of exposure is good for keeping the immune system in tip-top condition.

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Anonymous Coward

I LOVE YOU, KITCHEN GUN

It really is the only way to be sure.

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