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back to article 'Bah, this Apple Shop is full of APPLES'

A cider shop in Norfolk has had to change its name after receiving up to 24 phone calls a week from fanbois with computer problems. Since an Apple Store opened in Norwich, locals have been calling mistakenly phoning the Apple Shop in Wroxham Barns, with their iPhone and Apple-related woes. Apple Shop owner Geoff Fisher told the …

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Anonymous Coward

tut tut

"Some people are very rude and they slam the phone down."

Whereas the normal response to calling the wrong number is usually an apology for wasting the other persons time.

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Re: tut tut

Wrong numbers

"Is that Steve?"

"No, you have the wrong number."

"Are you sure?"

"Hmmmm, let me just check, birth certificate, passport, bank statement, it appears that all of these are in error, and that, yes, as you assert, I am indeed 'Steve' ".

I'd have had some fun with the gullible fools.

"Congratulations! You're our 1000th caller and have won an iPad! Come down to the Apple Store and collect your prize!"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: tut tut

I've witnessed a landlord at a pub I used to drink at 1471 people and forcefully educate them on how rude it is to just hang up on a wrong number.

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TRT
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They didn't hang up.

The pips went.

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Re: tut tut (@AC)

You don't think "Actually I'm really good with numbers so I'm forced to assume that you're lying to me. Put Steve on the line." is the normal way to go?

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Trollface

Re: tut tut

"Some people are very rude and they slam the phone down."

<Insert comment about Apple product owners>

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Re: tut tut

Some people are just thick. When I did phones support I would get the occasional person that would misdial and get mad at me. Upset that they were on hold for 7 minutes. They would say why didn't some tell me this was not company xyz instead of making me wait.Now while they were on hold the hear adverts about our products and the company name.

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Re: tut tut

My phone number used to be very similar to a Chinese Takeaway. Had some fun taking orders from people... I once forwarded an order to a different Chinese Takeaway, don't know if the customer ever noticed...

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Linux

Re: tut tut

"Village retailer changes name of 'Apple Shop' after calls from frothing fanbois"

I would have thought that it was all the people who come in with a hard on for Steve Jobs, that would have been a real pain in the arse.....

"Oh Steve! Oh Steve! iI iLove iYou! iPlease, iPlease itouch imy iApple iMac!"

"iWot? iYou mean iI have the wronge iAddress?"

"iAn, iAn - he's iNot iHere?"

"Damn.... Boo Hoo, and iI just wasted 3 packs of iViagra too!"

Yeah 10 years of the Apple Fanboi bullshit I'd change my iNumber too.

Linux - because iApple iFanbois iSuck iToo.

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Devil

Re: tut tut

When I was in high school, my parents' telephone number was the same as the local branch of Bank of America except for the prefix... We were constantly getting wrong numbers, and finally my father started responding to the wrong numbers with "Bank of XXXXX, we accept deposits but not withdrawals"... A few months later, Bank of America changed their number, and went to a central switchboard for the entire SF Bay Area... end of wrong numbers.

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Facepalm

Re: tut tut

'Whereas the normal response to calling the wrong number is usually an apology for wasting the other persons time.'

Quite agree - that's how it always occurred to me to sign off such a call out of common courtesy. However, I guess the sense of entitlement that now comes with the fruity device 'lifestyle' (as well as stickers) has permeated such vagaries as manners.

My number once got spanked owing to a balls-up by an unrelated individual from Newcastle. I know it was this area since I took ten calls over a week from the chap's family, all asking to speak to 'Paul' and getting utterly bewildered and frustrated that I wasn't the droid they were looking for.

The final conversation went like this:

Caller : 'Paul?'

Me : 'Nope, it's me. Again. If you keep calling the same number, that won't change, will it?'

Caller : 'Not Paul then?'

Me : 'Still not, no.'

Caller : 'Have you got his number?'

Me : 'No, just because his number is similar, doesn't mean I know him'

Caller : 'Oh right.'

I got one more, during which I offered to BE the mysterious gentleman if it helped. They hung up and at that point gave me a week's sanity break - after which it started again, and I requested a new phone number from my provider.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: tut tut

I had the a phone number that was similar to the local Chinese (swap the last two digits), but only had one prat kept ringing me and leaving messages. Anyway, if I had to give out my phone number to people I didn't want to speak to, I would "accidently" swap the last two digits. Fair's fair, I was getting their calls....

Years ago, on my mobile I would get at least one call a week from some old biddy trying to contact her daughter and dialing the wrong number. Over the course of a year the old biddy was so amused that she kept dailing the same wrong number, while I was getting more and impolite until I snapped and swore at her. Must have done some good, never had a wrong number after that!

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Went to buy an iPhone and ended up with a bottle of scrumpy. Couldn't make out the map home afterwards, so the functionality is there.

'I'm very sorry, I can't help you, but please do come along and get some proper Norfolk cider to get over your sorrows'.

Sage advice indeed.

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Love the quote on the BBC web page:

He said: "My most amusing caller was an elderly gentleman who rang up and the first thing he said was, 'I've been very silly'.

"'I said, what's the problem? He said, 'I'm 87, and I've gone and bought an Apple Mac and I don't know how to use it'.

"I said, 'Well, I'm very sorry, you have been very silly, perhaps you should give it to your grandchildren'."

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Flame

I've been very silly... I've gone and bought an Apple Mac

An honest fanboi, we should have him stuffed and put on display.

Let the flames begin...

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Anonymous Coward

ahhh .. .

Easy to tell the difference.

One of these shops sells a product that makes you insensible, lose all dignity and even your grip on reality. In the other those qualities are a pre-requisite for purchasers.

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Alert

Re: ahhh .. .

..and both could get you lost.

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Re: ahhh .. .

One of these shops sells a product that makes you insensible, lose all dignity and even your grip on reality...

...whilst the other sells cider.

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I always remember driving past signs to the shropshire village of Knockin and wondering if they had a local store. They do and yes it is called "The Knockin Shop".

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Go

And there is always the world famous Muff Diving Club

http://www.muffdivingclub.ie/

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Paris Hilton

The village of Knockin, twined with the towns of Fucking in Austria and Intercourse in Pennsylvania

Mandatory use of Paris icon.

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Happy

Says rather a lot about the people calling doesn't it?

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I know of this shop

Geoff Fisher is one of the nicest bloke you will ever meet! I often visit the barns, usually pretending it's so the kiddies can stroke animals.

The truth is (and not very hidden) that I always pop to the apple store for a few bottles of the driest strongest apple juice on offer. Geoff is a genius brewer, how you can get a drink so dry is beyond me.

+1 to El Reg for promoting one of Norfolks finest

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TRT
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Re: I know of this shop

Do they provide core services?

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Joke

Re: I know of this shop

>>>Do they provide core services?

Yes, but I've never understood their a-peel

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I know of this shop

Just added this to the list of places to visit next time I'm holidaying on the Broads.

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MJI
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I would frequent one and not the other

I would be very upset if my Rattler source swapped to Ithingies

Westons is easy to get luckily.

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Happy

And the new name of the Apple Shop is ...?

Just for those of us who would like a nice drink of cider the next time we are in that part fo the world.

Please.

(Smiley face at the prospect of some fermented apple juice.)

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Facepalm

Re: And the new name of the Apple Shop is ...?

"The Apple shop which specialises in local cider, will be re-named the Norfolk Cider Shop from Easter onwards."

Um the new name is in the article?

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Joke

He's missing a track here!

Don't change the bloody name - instead get a local scrumpy maker to do some fanboi themed ciders and up-sell it to the irate and confused callers looking for fondleslab fixes!

I have suggestions for the name of this fruity new scrump; Jobsworth, iPissed, Giz-a-Jobs, Olde Steve, BlowJobs, One Eyed Mouse, FireWire Port, Gooey GUI, Siri-ously Strong Cider (Export Super Tramp Strength),

and last but not least a really poor quality industrially made tipple called Windows 3.1 for Piss Artists!

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JDX
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Re: He's missing a track here!

Or learn/hire someone to do repairs on Apple kit.

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Joke

Re: He's missing a track here!

Or make a new brew with half the alcohol, in an aluminium bottle that is impossible to open without breaking it.

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Scrumpy Apps.......now theres a name to go for

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Happy

I was there last summer with friends.

Nice little shop.

We all jokingly remarked that we were surprised that Apple hadn't squashed them from orbit in some legal challenge (which is kind of a shame that we all thought that as soon as we saw it) and wondered if anyone had been thick enough to call them for Apple support.

We concluded "Well we are talking about Apple users here!"

Oh how we laughed that crazy hot summers day in Wroxham.......

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TRT
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Re: I was there last summer with friends.

I bought some, but I couldn't get the top off. Turns out I was holding the bottle wrong.

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Re: Daft name

Yeah, there's too much of this sort of thing. I went into a place called The Body Shop and all they sold was a load of soap.

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Re: Daft name

"mostly from apples" - like scumble

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Re: Daft name

some sources say 20 years.

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Re: Daft name

erm no - he sells apple cider vinegar, apple juice and cider as well as other things.

He's been trading as the apple shop for quite a while, and this wrong number issue was only a problem when Apple opened there palace of glass and shiny shiny a few years ago. The cider that he sells is from the Norfolk Cider Company which has been on the go since 1987.

A better understanding of the Apple shop can be found here Here

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Re: Daft name

Been there 24 years apparently.

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Re: Daft name

"A better understanding of the Apple shop can be found here Here"

Thank you. That's exactly the kind of thing I was looking for that was omitted in the article. Clearly he is not some chancer that just wants to boost his cider sales.

Anyone would think El Reg had missed out vital information in order to froth up the pro and anti fanboys up into a frenzy.

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Re: Daft name

Yeah I walked into an Alpaca Pete's shop in the US and they didn't sell a single Alpaca! Just loads of products made from them.

Who would have thought.....

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Re: Daft name

"Anyone would think El Reg had missed out vital information in order to froth up the pro and anti fanboys up into a frenzy."

Yah, because leaving in that vital information would have made any difference whatsoever

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Re: Daft name

Thanks for the link.

Nice friendly atmosphere by the sounds of it. Real community spirit. Embraces the whole family. Provides a useful practical service.

Nothing like those people who even take a bite out of their own logo before you get to see it.

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Devil

I would have played along...

...and have given them instructions on how to fix the problem.

1) Put Apple object in toilet bowl

2) Flush

3) Go "haha"

bet they would have followed the instructions too!

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Coat

"...they slam the phone down"

They'll be needing Apple's repair service then!

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Pint

Cider: it just works.

Drink different!

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JDX
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Re: Cider: it just works.

With a bottle of cider, it really is your fault if you hold it the wrong way.

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Anonymous Coward

What would you expect

from Apple owners. Intelligence? The common sense to check beforehand?

Of course not. Just an arrogant expectation from some of these people that of course it is an Apple store and noone would dare opening a store with such a name when they sell something that has more right to the name than Apple does.

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