back to article Why did your outsourced IT fall over? Cos you weren't on Twitter

The days of signing off an IT contract then kicking back and scoffing peanuts for the next three years are over. Executives will have to constantly monitor their outsourcers - even if it means using social networks - if they want to get value for money, according to Gartner analysts in a startling report for 2013. Companies …

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Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess.

It's official. Gartner is quite insane.

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Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess.

Exactly my thoughts when I read this. Anyone who thinks outsourcing the work means you no longer have to check what is happening should have been out on their ear a very long time ago.

This is normally the sort of mindless mess you get as an advert for some 'solution looking for a problem' but in this case they don't even seem to be selling anything. They certainly are not selling themselves very well.

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Anonymous Coward

Outsourcing=Fail

That's why.

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Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess.

You do know they get paid lots of money for this kind of shit? Although I think that they may have a bit of trouble charging for this particular kind of bollocks.

Anyway, The Economist reckons that outsourcing is, er, on the way out. Well, not entirely, it's more nuanced than that but worth more of a glance than Gartner's turd.

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Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess. @Jake

Errrm I did sort of think Gartner were a semi credible commentator on the IT world, but find I can't disagree with your evaluation.

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Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess.

Anyone who thinks outsourcing the work means you no longer have to check what is happening should have been out on their ear a very long time ago.

Nonsense, outsourcing is efficent and works very well, just ask any big financial institution, like RBS.

Oh! Hang on....

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Re: Gartner

... reports are best used as packing material for your outbound shipments, after they have been run through the shredder.

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Alien

Re: Gartner

Just as long as that shredder is CESG-accredited. Wouldn't want your partners to think you actually read Gartner reports.

Sectoids, because what species do you think designed the Benhall site?

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Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess. @Jake

We were on a funding search once & I was told to go to Gartner to find reports that backed up our statements, any statements.

They have reports on absolutely everything, you tell them what you need to show and they tell you which of their report(s) you need to purchase. Gartner is only good if you have an agenda. They are as far away from scientific reporting as possible.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Oh. My. Fucking Gawd/ess.

Some of us UK good ol''boys worked in a Euro company outsourcing in RBS.

That was a total clusterf*ck. Locked into overall sourcing contract to reduce IT revenue every year.

Of course the main costs were staff, being IT.... but still, you'd have thought, being a bank, they could have made sure we didn't get paid 7 weeks or more late on a regular basis, nearly to the point of rioting?

Strange how those same pay procedures worked perfectly well in other non-bank businsses.

And always surprising to see how many of the tech staff had been personally bankrupted. I mean, for real.

And that's on top of all the scalpers wanting their paws on our pay before we got it.

Pure, classic outsourcing.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gartner

Do. Not. Use.

How about they just shove it up their Quadrant. Bitch.

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Nexus of Forces

The Nexus of Forces sounds like the destination in a science fiction cartoon that I would've watched as a child. Or a spacehsip, for that matter.

And as for "driving real business value": getting workers far away in unpleasant conditions to do exactly what you want them to do, despite the fact that you oftentimes ask the impossible from them.

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Re: Nexus of Forces

I had a chilli last night and now my Nexus Of Forces is burning.......

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Re: Nexus of Forces

That's actually a chakra, maybe your hara and possibly your anus.

Chi up in there!

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Childcatcher

Re: Nexus of Forces

At the risk of alienating a certain religious group. It sounds like an L. Ron Hubbard "book".

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The Truth will out, it appears.

Given that the gears they drew would be hideously inefficient, jam up often and break or wear out extremely quickly.

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Facepalm

Re: The Truth will out, it appears.

Did you not know? Their product is reality distortion. Having such a singular gift is what makes the opinions of these shamans so valuable.

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WTF?

I just don't get it.

I mean, what is any of this supposed to be about? Who am I, and what am I doing here? How do I get back the 2 minutes of my life plus the 1 minute it took to type this?

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Trollface

Re: I just don't get it.

Maybe you should tweet about this to get it out of your system..

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WTF?

Look on the bright side.

It's going to be hard for even the most devious of lawyers to hide contractual weasel clauses in 140 characters or less.

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Re: Look on the bright side.

What you're supposed to do is friend your outsource guy on Facebook, and then when you see him post a bunch of photos titled "Me and the family at Bhandardara Lake", you can send him a nasty message saying that he was supposed to be writing you a new inventory program that week and what the hell was he doing away from the office???!!!!

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WTF?

Uhm, no?

"Executives will have to constantly monitor their outsourcers - even if it means using social networks - if they want to get value for money, according to Gartner analysts in a startling report for 2013.".

Now, I'm no expert mind you but when a customer asks me to do 'A', which I then estimate to get completed in 2 months, then how on earth is using social media or whatever other monitoring going to do increase the value of my work ? You'll know for sure if you got value for your money after those 2 months.

So if you want / need more value for your money then why not start with making better agreements ?

Or maybe actually doing a better job; because if you're losing money whenever $contractor doesn't perform then you're a dumbass who should have setup a much better bargain. Can't say I have much experience on this front, but two times my company also worked on a job where we agreed that if we couldn't meet the schedule the customer wouldn't have to pay the full price (was kind of a high profile job, pretty cool).

Said customer could have looked at twitter and facebook all day long, but that sure as heck wouldn't have changed zip about the agreement nor the way we did our work.

I get the feeling that someone is creating the perfect excuse here for a lot of people who will now spend most of their day wasting time on social media, while they should be doing their job. Oh well; maybe those guys can now blame it all on Gartner ;-)

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Re: Uhm, no?

Well, to be fair; last year I was running a fairly substantial outsourced Web project. The designs were a few days late and it was only by checking the design director's Twitter feed that I found he had resigned. I was not best pleased with the company.

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Re: Uhm, no?

"Said customer could have looked at twitter and facebook all day long, but that sure as heck wouldn't have changed zip about the agreement nor the way we did our work."

Well - Gartner have a point.

Did you not realise most companies tweet 'Slacking off nowz LOL!!!!' and a few tasteful sepia Instagrammed photos of their tech tiger teams quaffing at Hooters when they're not maximising shareholder value for you to its most maximised extent?

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Re: Uhm, no?

Chris3

One of the supposed benefits of outsourcing is that you aren't supposed to care about that sort of thing anymore, you are paying a company to do something for you, the actual individuals involved should be irrelevant as long as the skills are there. Succession planning should be their problem, not yours.

If you have to constantly check up, and mange staff, you might as well hire someone directly and do it yourself.

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WTF?

How does that work then?

Boss in Slough sends a Twitter message to some guy in Mumbai which appears on his mobile and has a short url redirecting him to public directory on Dropbox where the confidential business-critical document can be found?

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FAIL

Re: How does that work then?

This.

I was wondering how much 'changes requested by twitter' cost to implement.

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Good lord, what a cesspit of buzzwordy twaddle. Your Indian outsourcers aren't going to get any more diligent or intelligent just because you follow them on twitter or friend them on teh faceboek. You're going to have to be on the phone screaming at them every day in order to get the basic services you're paying for, as per usual.

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WTF?

I'm wondering

Is this a contest of who makes the presentation most devoid of content and crams as many cliparts to a page as possible?

What do the gears even represent? How the hell are two completely different domains -- sourcing and monitoring -- supposed to drive one another???

Or is it just a classroom project of one of the execs' children?

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Boffin

Re: I'm wondering

The gears are metaphoric - their differently sized teeth mean they won't interlink well and will be subject to failure. That's where Gartner comes in - they are a third gear connected to both of the other two...

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Gold plated bullshit

Aren't there awards for this kind of thing?

What I like is this inversion of the original social media paradigm where bosses were supposed to make themselves appear more human by writing blogs, etc. Now they are supposed to keep in touch with the drones using it.

I predict harder times for Gartner.

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Mushroom

Re: Gold plated bullshit

+1000%

The day I have to use ANY social media crap to do my IT work, is the day I retire.

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WTF?

Re: Gold plated bullshit

You understand the `product` best sold by outstanding salesmen.

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"IT Services Sourcing Cycle and the Nexus of Forces"

aka Transformers IV. Same old lame plot with lots of explosions, grinding metal and a crap director.

I've seen it before.

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I think I have now heard it all. What a crock of shit!

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Anonymous Coward

"I think I have now heard it all"

I love optimists.

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FAIL

I think they've missed the point...

...the problem is that too many people spend too much time on social media channels telling people how great a job they are doing rather than focusing on doing the bloody job itself.

Worker: boss, we're two months over-run and three million in the red.

Pointy headed boss: Nonense. The project must be a great success. Our contractors have said so on Twitter.

FFS Who's paying Gartner for this rubbish?

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WTF?

Thank goodness for Gartner!

Because up until now I was always coming across posts like this on IT contractors' Twitter feeds:

"Wow, we've totally borked our latest project, and are 14 months behind schedule. Don't tell the NHS! ;-) LOL!!!111one!! #OutsourcingFail"

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Nexus of Farces.

Gartner has lost the plot entirely now. I love calling them out but this is priceless material for me.

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Stop

I disagree.

There are clearly 5 forces at work. Social, Mobile, Cloud, Information and Powerpoint.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I disagree.

No love for the Weak Nuclear Forces?

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WTF?

What? A post where most of the el Reg readers are in agreement, whodda thunkit? I always thought Gartner were a crock of shit, this however proves it.

Now can we get back to Apple or Android bashing please?

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Flame

social media is the answer to everything....

what was the question again????

i shudder everytime i see or hear 'gartner', nervous ticks and pathetic giggles start to erupt!! but oh, wait, gartner predicted it so it will happen!!

and do gartner outsource? i think not! do google?? amazon? ha!! no, we just pay to use their spare hardware and cry when it goes down or data is 'lost' because we didnt back it up onto the cloud.. er.. oops, they ARE the could....

how exactly does twitter help me?

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FAIL

Bit like the parson's egg

Good in parts and awful in others.

The first part fo the article is absolutely correct, far to many outsourcing customers sign the contract sit on their backsides and whinge because the supplier isn't making their mid morning tea like the IT staff did in the old days.

There is a need for outsourcing customers to actually read the contract and do what it says, all those minor things like providing the standards that everyone is supposed to work to, doing the work that is their responsibility, attending review meetings, etc. They also need to recognise where the contract is crap and get their sourcers to update their materials so that the next contract is better. Far to many sourcers never talk to the business and focus on their pet issues which don't help the business but do fit in to current legal fads.

And doing all the above means people talking to each other and lot of that needs to be done face to face. Social media can be used, where it is an internal social media system, to communciate between customer and supplier but believe me outsourcing is far more about relationships than it is about poking each other on Facebook (does anyone do that anymore) or trying to compose a nice 142 character comment that will get a laugh on Twitter.

Oh and not all outsourcing is done from India a fair amount is still done within the UK by UK staff and they don't want people giving them crap on Twitter either.

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Happy

Another excuse?

Am I the only person who think Gartner only write this to give managers an excuse to be on social media all day?

Why do I have this weird feeling that those managers are on social media all day for some other reason?

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Re: Another excuse?

> Am I the only person who think Gartner only write this to give managers an excuse to be on social media all day?

More likely, an excuse to push tablets as a management tool. Outsource your IT and get an iPad!

Without new trends, an analyst isn't needed, so Gartner needs new trends, even if it has to make them up.

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Gartner

Surely they are the equivalent of Max Clifford's publicity business in the IT world. Spin the crap.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Gartner

But presumably without the alleged shagging of underaged girls (at least I am assuming that's what he was arrested for).

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Trollface

Do you think...

...Gartner outsourced this report?

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