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back to article Brazilian slammer guards nab mobe-smuggling CAT

Brazilian prison wardens admit they have little chance of discovering who was behind a cunning plan to smuggle a mobile phone into the slammer in Arapiraca, south west of Recife, given that the mule is highly unlikely to talk. The nabbed cat with the contraband strapped to its body Guards at the Presídio Desembargador Luiz de …

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Dispensing Machine: Hello. How can I help you?

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: Fish!

Dispensing Machine: Today's fish is Trout à la crème, enjoy your meal.

Cat: I will.

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what did I just read?

And why doesn't it make much sense?

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I can hardly believe I'm about to correct this but it was trout a la grecque

@theodore I blame bad parenting

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Re: what did I just read? @theodore

sorry to be blunt but <http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/>

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FAIL

@Chrome

Sounds like trout a la creme to me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkjbMoj0JY4

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Worst smuggling plan eva.

I will take this stuff to the prison, but first I will have a little sleep. Then I will molest some mice, visit two or three old ladies for second, third and possibly fourth breakfasts, have a little sleep, check that everything in my world is as it should be; have a little sleep; just into some boxes; have a little sleep and watch the world go by for a while.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Worst smuggling plan eva.

It wasn't like the intended recipient was going anywhere...

Is that the right Icon?

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It makes no sense

How do you persuade a cat to enter a prison?

Presumably only by standing in front of the gate and giving it a boot at the right moment. If you're going to do that you might as well just chuck it over the wall.

(The contraband, not the cat.)

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Re: It makes no sense

Or you start with two hundred cats with two hundred sets of mobile phones, etc, and release them. Then hope that at least one will wander into the prison.

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Joke

Surely it'll be easy tto find the guilty party - just bring in a sniffer cat to search the cells for a stash of catnip .

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Unless...

..the owner will claim that the catnip is for his glaucoma...

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Thumb Up

Mule?

ITYM "mewl".

And is this on youtube yet?

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cruel

Pretty damn cruel taping it on.

That poor cat would lose a lot of fur, and may end up bleeding when the tape is removed.

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Re: cruel

It's bloody criminal...

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Re: cruel

i think they might have been using the tools to smuggle food into the prison...

Ah, there's no ALF icon.

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Nothing to see here

It's just a delivery from the Catphone Warehouse.

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Morons

I bet whoever came up with this plan is feline pretty stupid right about now.

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Re: Morons

When they catch him, he'll be charged with committing a feline-y.

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Re: Morons

That should give other wannabe criminals paws for thought. Even if things had gone purrrfectly, the miscreant would still have had to strip a bunch of gaffer tape from an angry cat, and probably got clawed in the eyes.

I think it's easy to know who's guilty though. In cell 23 (or possibly not?) is prisoner 9512387 Schrodinger. I reckon it was him.

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Coat

Oh well

paws for thought

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Facepalm

Re: Oh well

It was almost the purrfect crime.

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After all that elaborate sellotaping

You'd have hoped for it to go purrfectly.

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Re: After all that elaborate sellotaping

I expect there was a claws in the agreement but that was in by a whisker.

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Coat

Re: After all that elaborate sellotaping

You gotta' be kitten me!

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mev

Galore?

"The powers-that-be at the jail said this was the first time an animal had been used to transport contraband..."

...or the first time an animal has been caught?

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Unhappy

If the cat _could_ talk, it would say ...

... "I'll take you directly to the guy who did this to me, if you promise to beat the crap out of him."

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Re: If the cat _could_ talk, it would say ...

Whaddaya mean "if the cat could talk"?

Of course the cat can talk - as any fule no all cats can talk.

They just haven't yet thought of anything that needs saying.

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Re: If the cat _could_ talk, it would say ...

"Of course the cat can talk - as any fule no all cats can talk.

They just haven't yet thought of anything that needs saying."

They just haven't found a human they think is worth saying anything to."

There, fixed it for you.

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Coat

Maybe

It was fish in the jailhouse night

But then of course the drills etc wouldn't be needed

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Coat

... In other news, a prisoner was put in solitary confinement after being discovered by a guard with a haddock down his pants.

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Happy

Or is that "an haddock"?

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FAIL

This reminds me of the ever so effective CIA spy cat

See here for details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty

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Was this some kind of homing-cat? How are you supposed to get the cat to go to the right cell with the goodies? Or was it a generalised present, to whichever prisoner was lucky enough to find it? Alternatively you replace the kitty goody-bag with a webcam or tracking device, and see which cat the cell goes to. Assuming some sort of cat-whisperer, who's managed to train it to that kind of accuracy. Then execute them. Anyone who can train cats that well is a danger to society, and on no account should be released, in case they take over the world.

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"How are you supposed to get the cat to go to the right cell with the goodies?"

following a sat-nav of course... It was a Tom Tom.

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Coat

Shurly-

Cat-Nav

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Simon Harris,

Well played sir!

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Happy

Re: Shurly-

"Cat-Nav"

Nice one!

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FAIL

no attempt made to investigate then?

Should've let the cat quietly return home... with a GPS tracker attached to it's collar

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Coat

Cat burglar caught "going equipped"?

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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It wouldn't of been caught it it had a frikken head mounted laser!

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Well,

now we know how Schrodinger's cat manages to keep getting out of that box before we can turn on the quantum gas!

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Anonymous Coward

Smuggled iPhone?

Was it jail broken?

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