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back to article Steve Jobs' Apple yacht freed after family settles the bill

Venus, the yacht that Steve Jobs planned but never got to sail in, has been freed by bailiffs after the settlement of an outstanding bill from co-designer Philippe Starck. Steve Jobs yacht Venus The good ship Venus at launch The iconic French designer worked with his friend Jobs on the design of the 70m motor yacht, which is …

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FAIL

That yacht looks terrible

...and I bet the navigation systems are shit.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That yacht looks terrible

Looks like a house boat whose purpose is to be tied to a jetty.

Not a pretty sight, as the old adage goes for both boats and aircraft, if it looks good it will sail/ fly good.

This looks destined to sink which would in my opinion be a mercy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That yacht looks terrible

I agree, my yacht look much better.

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Silver badge

Re: That yacht looks terrible

my guess is that Jony Ives and Philip Stark don't design many yachts.

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Re: That yacht looks terrible

It was their first and hopefully the last.

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Re: That yacht looks terrible

Philippe Starck has designed the interior of many yachts. I myself do not care for his work and consider many of his yacht interiors ugly.

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Re: That yacht looks terrible

It does look a bit like they took an old axe prow steamer leveled at the gunnels with top stack consisting of a glass box, a giant iPad, a smaller glass box and topped with a giant iPad mini.

I assume the shiny axe edge is to destroy any hapless blow boat that should cross its path but the chrome anchors are totally for show and will never see the bottom of a harbour but some poor soul will be hanging out there polishing before making entry anywhere.

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FAIL

Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

I bet the navigation systems are shit.. Surprised? They are running on Apple products.

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Happy

Re: That yacht looks terrible

Philippe Starck obviously has something going for him AND he has money in the bank to prove it.

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Devil

Re: That yacht looks terrible

Well, what do you expect. It is _NOT_ done by Sir Jonathan Ive. It is owned by Apple (actually not even that now) not built by Apple.

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WTF?

Re: That yacht looks terrible

"Philippe Starck obviously has something going for him AND he has money in the bank to prove it."

A knack for scamming clueless-tasteless, arrogant, rich idiots out of their money while selling them awful design ideas an art major 8th grader would not submit as homework?

FWIW Berlusconi has a LOT MORE in the bank, heck he was even PM for a looong time for a whole country yet he is still just another ugly little midget with dyed hair, desperately screwing 16-20 years old prostitutes to forgot he's almost 80 years old... money tells you nothing about the person - but this ridiculously awful, ugly piece of crap sold as a yacht tells you a lot about Starck and his 'talent', for sure..

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Anonymous Coward

Polish the bits that hand down at the front before making entry. It's a well-known seaman's routine.

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Re: That yacht looks terrible

Not only does it look terrible, it's bloody tiny, Paul Allen's little boat (Octopus) looks a hell of a lot better and is twice as big? I mean, if you want a boat to show off your wealth you don't really go for an ugly cheap thing, especially if you're Apple, maybe Job's didn't want to get sued by putting round corners on the boat?

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Re: That yacht looks terrible

"it's bloody tiny"

If only I'd brought my sawn-off yacht pun...

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Alert

Re: That yacht looks terrible...and I bet the navigation systems are shit.

I hope that they don't use Apple Maps!!

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Happy

Re: That yacht looks terrible

Agree, very much, but then again it is all about how this yacht was supposed to be used. If it was designed to be used only in some marina or some lake in the US as a cocktail party location it is probably very good. No pictures about the inside so far. But to consider it a yacht for the seven seas is an other question.

Compared to yachts by Paul Allen or Ellison it is, indeed, cheap in every way you want to compare them.

The bridge I find very peculiar, only wipers to clear the windows and the windows are straight and not as they should be, tilted forward, to increase visibility. (I have spent some years at sea).

I wonder what class of certification this thing has passed. And this has nothing to do with Apple or Jobs (at things he was more qualified to do).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

Care to name an OS that has better software which adheres to guidelines and has good usability? Okay, thought not.

OSX Apps are some of the best for usability, they follow Apple's style guide well, so each application has a familiar GUI and not some custom monstrosity.

Windows apps are a free-for-all and Linux apps are built from so many different toolkits there's no way of knowing what sort of crap you'll get. All with different appearance, shortcuts and conventions.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That yacht looks terrible

Steve Jobs wasn't a big headed asshole like Paul Allen. He lived in a fairly average house and so why would he have a gigantic Bond villain style boat?

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Mushroom

Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

Easy - Windows has often better software that has a strict certification process - guidelines here: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?displaylang=en&FamilyID=e49820cb-954d-45ae-9cb3-1b9e8ea7fe8c

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Anonymous Coward

Re: That yacht looks terrible - I bet the navigation systems are shit.

Errrm - I can't think of any Windows apps without good usability and a consistent look and feel - except for ports from the open source / legacy OS world and Java stuff - both which usually look like something out of the 1980s.

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WTF?

€13.5m

For "designing" a ship that looks like someone built a works canteen on the jetty then toppled it into the water.

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Devil

Re: €13.5m

Gotta be in the right place, at the right time and have the right connections ya know.

Same as with real designer dresses. Just look at the stuff being worn at the Oscars or Cannes. A significant portion of it (>20% on average) looks like sh*t, does not fit the person who wears it and suffers "wardrobe malfunctions".

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Re: €13.5m

Money and fashion sense rarely go together. After all he built a company on selling things that were the be all and end all of style and just have to be replaced every few years.

I'm not a great believer in the need for fashion police but a fashion navy wouldn’t go amiss here.

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Paris Hilton

Venus in chains

Prefer "Venus in furs!".

Paris for obvious reasons, furs, yacht, chains etc.

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Trollface

Re: Venus in chains

No link to Wikipedia needed, really.

We know about literature and stuff.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Venus in chains

Sounds like a good night out ;)

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Typical Jobsian Design

Form over Function, that yatch is not really the best sea worthy design as it eschews all good practice for an ocean going yacht. Plus it doesn't even llok good so it's a complete waste of time and money. At least some ship builders got some work out of it

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Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Trouble is you haters are rather misunderstanding the purpose of these things. By and large sea transit and so on is not their main raison d'etre and the owners won't do long voyages on them. The majority of them are effectively caravans. It gives the owner the ability the have their own de luxe mansion wherever there is a sea port with, bizarrely, both more status and, if you consider the cost of a mansion in every port, probably less money too. Indeed there are even ships crossed with floating docks that will take on a bunch of yachts and do the Ocean transit with them secured on board. So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration.

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Silver badge

Re: Typical Jobsian Design

So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration.

Obviously not here, but seaworthiness used to be one of the prime considerations of a yacht. Also, contemporary American usage tends to convey size and power rather than more traditional nautical ideals. I don't know much about Jobs, but I suspect he did not have much of a nautical background and probably didn't really understand the aesthetic in that field. With all due respect, it is entirely possible that he was actually out of his depth here.

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Meh

Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Doesn't have to be sea worthy. They are designed to be moored so the owners can wear funny hats and drink themselves silly.

If they actually want to cross a real sea, they are carried as deck cargo. You can see these floating marinas all over the world and, upon arrival, the owners fly in.

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"Seaworthiness"

"So seaworthiness really is't a prime consideration."

That's a $150 million piece of flotsam there. Wouldn't it need just all kinds of insurance - like casualty and loss insurance and liability insurance against injury or death of passengers and who knows what other kinds of insurance. I would not be surprised if some kinds of insurance were required by law; either by international treaty, or the laws of particular countries, or lesser jurisdictions within particular countries (although the last can probably be avoiding by not sailing to those jurisdictions.)

Would insurance companies actually insure a boat that was built with "seaworthiness really not a prime consideration"?

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Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Sorry but did you read the article? It underwent sea trials and then returned to Amsterdam.

This is required for insurance and also to have the ability to fly under a countries flag (whichever you choose).

Its a shame you are a hater.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: misunderstanding the purpose

Sure, but even gin palaces are better looking than this thing.

And every sea-going vessel, of whatever size, must be, err, sea-going. IE seaworthy. Because you never know what might happen.

Hater? Yes! of Ugliness! It is utterly irrelevant whether it belongs to Jobs, Gates, Shuttleworth or some unknown scrap-plastic magnate. There are boats that are among the most beautiful man-made things on earth, and they don't get less beautiful because of who owns them. This one is horrible.

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Childcatcher

Re: misunderstanding the purpose

And every sea-going vessel, of whatever size, must be, err, sea-going. IE seaworthy. Because you never know what might happen.

Wait! I thought this thing sails on Safari, not IE.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Typical Jobsian Design

"If they actually want to cross a real sea, they are carried as deck cargo. "

Not really. The vast majority of mega-yachts get around under their own steam. This is an 80 meter yacht and it should be able to travel by itself rather than rely on a Dock Express.

But I doubt it has the range to do a transatlantic crossing. Nor would I trust those big bits of glass they've "designed" into the hull: Asking for trouble even in the Gulf of Lion.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Sorry, Apple owns the hate market. They may release a new product known as the iHate.

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Devil

Time to consider Windows for Warships

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Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Sure it underwent sea trials, but they were using Apple Maps and when they went 100 naut miles out it was really only 7 ;P...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Typical Jobsian Design

Explain why it's missing the paddlewheels, chimney funnels and geezers in stripey shirts playing blackjack and smoking baccy pipes?

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Trollface

What's up with the design?

Some shipping company didn't want to license him the patent on rounded corners?

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Marine designers...

Must be pissing themselves, I've been given a cheap RC yacht for Christmas that's got better lines than this. Tho in black it at least might look a bit meaner.

So essentially it's a floating pile of i devices with a mirrored bow, makes it marginally more useful I suppose...

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Anonymous Coward

What Happened?

I know fugly when I see it and this is it!

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FAIL

I have a question

Which end is the front?

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FAIL

Re: I have a question

Which end is the front?

Yachts don't have a "front".

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Meh

Re: I have a question

The end without propellers.

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Happy

Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

Yachts have sails, this looks as if a slight wind, maybe Force 2 or 3, would blow it over.

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Holmes

Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

Yachts do not need sails to be called a yacht. Consider the Royal Yacht Britannia.

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Headmaster

Re: I have a question

The end without propellers.

It could have a bow thruster.

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Re: I have a question - funny looking yacht

Well, it will probably sustain a bit more, its not uncommon for force 3/4 to blow on the coastal area's in The Netherlands. So its probably already had to sustain atleast that.

Still, I wouldnt put a foot aboard that ships, I've seen some unstable ships but this must top it all...

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