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back to article His Holiness Benedict XVI to tweet to his Catholic flock

The leader of the Catholic Church has communicated with his followers using various media over the years, including radio and television, but come December 12, Pope Benedict XVI will be the first to voice the Church's message in 140 characters or fewer, when he inaugurates the official papal Twitter account. Posting as @pontifex …

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Dear Godbotherus Maximus,

one wonders when the Day arrives.

Especially the one where you will Edict that those "priests" who could not keep their mitts off little boys and girls will be dragged out of their "penance" and handed over to the local secular authorities so they can be tried like the criminals they are.

#isntitabouttime

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Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

First, the eternal question: "why do men have nipples?"

Second, did Adam and Eve have navels? If they did, and they were made in God's image and likeness, then who begat God (for a navel would surely imply that He had a Begetter)? And if not, how can the Bible tell us (of the navel-having kind) that we're made in His image and likeness?

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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Did-Adam-Have-Belly-Buttons/dp/096592288X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354610939&sr=8-1

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

Pope Benedict XVI has said that while Catholics believe that the Bible is inspired by the Holy Spirit, one cannot take individual biblical quotes or passages and say each one is literally true.

You'll be thinking about those crazy american fundamental christians who take every passage literally.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

I believe in a creator God. I believe evolution is how he did it.

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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

Good thing you opted for Anon... You've just upset two huge angry mobs!

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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

So Mr downvoter, which humourless, intolerant group would you belong to?

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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

I might have been God himslef, he does these things you know. Strike down the minnions, plagues, floods, holocausts, all sorts of nasty things.

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Re: Mine is a two-parter, your pope-i-ness

A plague of downvotes?

All this time I just thought I was upsetting apple fanboys. :-)

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Trollface

Dear Mr Pope

This god thing, seriously?

#skyfairies

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Religion in 140 chars or less

Sounds sublime. Can we rewrite the bible in txt speak too?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Religion in 140 chars or less

Less please.

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Re: Religion in 140 chars or less

Already done more than 7 years ago.

Not quite the literary highlight that was the KJV but each to his own.

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Re: Religion in 140 chars or less

How about 70.

Why?

Because.

Don't do bad,

Love everyone, not that way.

Reproduce.

Die.

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1.2 billion followers

That puts the Pope on the about the same level as Zuckerberg and I wouldn't trust either of them.

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Re: 1.2 billion followers

The difference being that, for better or for worse, most of the Pope's 1.2bn followers actually take some notice of what he says.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 1.2 billion followers

"That puts the Pope on the about the same level as Zuckerberg and I wouldn't trust either of them."

Beautiful point; it made me think. How else does Catholicism compare to Facebookism (apart from having the same number of letters)?

1. Believers consider themselves privileged. Everyone else can see that they're just someone's b1tch.

2. Believers don't understand the hatred and distrust from non-believers.

3. Believers try to get others to sign up, with assurances that it will improve their lives.

4. Believers don't notice how it takes over their lives.

5. Many believers don't want to be helped.

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Happy

Great!

There's an old question, often quoted here, that can now be answered directly.

Now, if we could just get Dr Doolittle to interpret for bears..........

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TRT
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Now that's harsh.

@Pontifex communication.

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Angel

Hope he texts just in Latin - and make it a Lingua Franca for the Christendom again!

Credo in Deum Patrem omnipotentem, Creatorem caeli et terrae. Et in Iesum Christum, Filium eius unicum, Dominum nostrum, qui conceptus est de Spiritu Sancto, natus ex Maria Virgine, passus sub Pontio Pilato, crucifixus, mortuus, et sepultus, descendit ad infernos, tertia die resurrexit a mortuis, ascendit ad caelos, sedet ad dexteram Dei Patris omnipotentis, inde venturus est iudicare vivos et mortuos. Credo in Spiritum Sanctum, sanctam Ecclesiam catholicam, sanctorum communionem, remissionem peccatorum, carnis resurrectionem, vitam aeternam. Amen.

D'mmit too many characters!

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JDX
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I hope the people monitoring the account on his behalf know what they're letting themselves in for - the filth and hatred they're going to have to wade through looking for genuine questions is surely not something they'll be used to!

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Anonymous Coward

" the filth and hatred they're going to have to wade through... is surely not something they'll be used to!"

Um. I would imaging that is something they are used to especially considering the number of priests ushered overseas or away from local congregations because of the 'choir boy' thing.

My questions would be

1) why is the legal age of consent in the Vatican State 12 years of age?

2) Why not up it to 18 - or - if you are priests - ban it all together?

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JDX
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I doubt the top-level people are often in direct confrontation with lay people, especially via the internet actually. Maybe they'll have some serfs to wade through it and pass all the non-explicit posts to a bishop who will then select which to show the Pope.

How many women are there in the Vatican anyway?

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Question for #AskPontifex

Should bishops who protected / covered up for kiddie-fiddling priests be allowed to continue to serve? You know that includes yourself, right? Don't let the door hit you on the way out. #dinosaur

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FAIL

hmmm, i can think of serveral...

hashtags that they should be monitoring....

We need a hang-em-high icon.

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Good call by everyone's favourite ex-Nazi.

That's 2 things he can now use his computer for, and this one is legal.

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Religion in 2 letters

BS

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Angel

romanes eunt domum

kthxby

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Headmaster

"Romanes eunt domus"- People called Romanes, they go the house

"Romani ite domum"- Romans, go home

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Headmaster

@ AC 15

You got that from John Cleese!

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Childcatcher

Go home

Well the penalty for getting it wrong was having your balls cut off.

Actually that would make the Catholic Church a much safer place for our children, we should test them all on their Latin.

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