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back to article Archaeologists uncover 'Unicorn's lair'

The lair of a unicorn ridden by King Tongmyong, one of many monarchs from Korea's Koryo Kingdom, has been found, according to the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), the state-run agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Lest you doubt the report, know that the KCNA's Introduction page tells us the agency "speaks for …

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Headmaster

For the headline,

I think I would consider putting "archaeologists" in quotes as well, el reg.

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Boffin

Re: For the headline,

Well, all the archaeologists in the story are claiming is that they found a square rock room labeled "Unicorn's Lair". The NK government is, of course, doing what governments the world over do when some scientists come up with some minor find that can be blown up into a propaganda parade.

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Re: For the headline,

So does that mean if I get the words "this is the last unicorn penis" tattooed with 1000 year old charcoal in the appropriate place... It won't be all in a single line mind, but...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Eddy Ito

I'm certain they will correct the error bars and drift in the Charcoal dating by checking if the rings match annual weather estimations first Eddy... ;)

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Trollface

Re: For the headline,

True enough.

I have to admit, I didn't even read the article before laying out that quip.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: For the headline,

Accurate reporting with that image?

Seems a bit of a rarity...

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Pint

Re: For the headline,

In the best tradition of El Reg "trick cyclist" appellations; shouldn't "archaeologists" in this case be "sand pit explorers"?

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Windows

Seen elsewhere ...

The Koreans also have a saying: Drink until you see unicorns.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Seen elsewhere ...

But for how long should the unicorns drink?

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The way NK chooses its 'leader', ...

.. they've got an 'ancient right of kings' thing going on there. After that, unicorns are fine by me.

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On a related note:

Time's "Person of the year 2012":

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2128881_2129111_2129112,00.html

...I suspect some shenanigans...

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Re: On a related note:

That would be /b/ at work:

http://i.imgur.com/qhrab.png

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Re: On a related note:

It may be worth noting that Time's "Person of the Year" is supposed to be the most newsworthy person (or thing, or abstract concept, or whatever they decide to pick) for the year - not necessarily a good person, or even a (directly) influential one.

It's probably not worth noting that of course any Internet poll of even vague interest to a group of significant size will be gamed. Internet polls are designed to attract readers, not elicit information (except about which option is more appealing to people with nothing better to do).

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Here in California ...

... my wife gets her NORKs off on my single horn ...

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever.

Bottom line, the North Korean people are three panes of glass away from freedom. It'll happen. Hopefully in my lifetime ... I have a couple 300 year old split-cane fly-rods that I'd like to restore for my Grandaughter. I *think* I know how to do the work, but I don't want to cock it up before I start ... The only folks who actually know how to rebuild that kit are in NK, alas ...

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Re: Here in California ...

Split cane rods aren't that rare. They are expensive, sure, but there are several people who can successfully repair them. They also just simply degrade over time. If they haven't been cared for properly it may be too late to save them.

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Pirate

Re: Here in California ...

Or here in Scotland - my father used to make them, and I believe has eight of differing provenance and vintage. The art has not passed down, alas.

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Deluded

And I'm the Queen of Sheba!

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Angel

Re: Deluded

Welcome to these humble pages o great Queen. <no homophobia here>

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Big Brother

Be warned! Remember what happened to Hans Brix.

Simon Sharwood will be sneering on the other side of his disembodied face when he gets dropped into the Shark Tank for writing this strongly worded report.

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Re: Be warned! Remember what happened to Hans Brix.

I think you mean "retort" rather than "report" ;-)

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Angel

Sounds familiar...

In the twelfth century a grave and lead cross were "discovered" at Glastonbury Abbey carrying the legend "Here lies interred the famous King Arthur on the Isle of Avalon".

The abbey church was being rebuilt at the time. There had been a fire, and the number of visiting pilgrims had dropped off dramatically...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sounds familiar...

Much like Padre Pio then,. who would always have one of his stigmata moments whenever the church needed a bit of wonga.

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WTF?

Commies will say anything to get a laugh... Ah-hahahahahahahaha :P

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This unicorn...

...is there a song along the lines of "I so lonely" interred in there as well?

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Re: This unicorn...

I so ronery

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Devil

How do I picture a "Unicorn Lair"?

A deep underground structure that is also secret command and control center managed by unicorns, possibly with flashing lights and doomsday crystals?

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404
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Re: How do I picture a "Unicorn Lair"?

Don't laugh - MiniMe runs NK since Dr. Evil passed away - he looks the type to be humping frikkin' unicorns with "lasers" attached to their heads...

;)

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Happy

Wrong picture

The asian unicorn is a diferent breed

https://www.google.se/search?q=Qilin&hl=sv&safe=off&tbo=u&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=ETa7ULch1I3iBLnFgaAB&ved=0CEgQsAQ&biw=1720&bih=1057

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Re: Wrong picture

so, a 'horned devil' (*two* horns!) or antelope, or even just a male deer ???

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antelope

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Deer

http://traditions.cultural-china.com/en/210Traditions9158.html

or even

http://io9.com/5964879/no-the-north-korean-government-did-not-claim-it-found-evidence-of-unicorns

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Re: Wrong picture

Looks like something out of a MLP/Anime crossover.

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Re: Wrong picture

I have to say that does look more like something that belongs in a "lair".

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Pint

Re: Wrong picture

Anakin, you beat me to it, the Qilin or Kirin only slightly resembles the western unicorn. But you could have mentioned the most likely place for this crowd to find one - on a bottle of beer:

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/sites/default/files/styles/blog_full/public/happenings/kirin_brewery.png

Yes, illiad, very like a deer or antelope, if flames crawling over the body are normal for those species.

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Catching one...

I believe involves the use of virgins. Or at least A virgin. Them NK's are always good for a larf. Whatever will they come up with next.

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Joke

Re: Catching one...

And how do you find a virgin?

Right. Start with the unicorn...

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Joke

Obvious why their borders are so heavily guarded

What with having the sexiest man in the world as their leader, *and* unicorns, if the North Koreans didn't guard their borders so well, they'd be swamped by people wanting to live there.

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Much like the Bosnian pyramids

"Before the Mesopotamian empire, before the pharaohs of Egypt, the civilization of Old Europe imbued with divinity the sun, moon, sky, sea, horizon, and other aspects of the natural world..."

The Bosnian pyramids were apparently built 25,000 years ago. Even now there still seem to be people volunteering to help with excavations and prepared to fund this operation.

http://www.bosnian-pyramid.org/journal/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/12/26/bosnian_pyramids/

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laughing_girls.jpg

"the entire history of the development of human civilization will have to be rewritten with Bosnia-Herzegovina at its centre"

Oh my God. Much the like the "undersea road to Atlantis" from the Bermudas (turned out to be a natural formation).

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Facepalm

Re: Much like the Bosnian pyramids

So you mean it can look like a unicorn, if you look at it from the right direction and squint a bit?

Meanwhile, every actual geologist who's taken a look has described the Bosnian pyramids as, er, "hills". I wish 'em luck with the excavations, it takes the aggregates industry several years to chew through a decent sized hill using explosives, humungous excavators and 40-tonne dumper trucks, never mind doing it with trowels and buckets.....

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Re: Much like the Bosnian pyramids

Presumably the pyramids were discovered right at the moment when Medjugorje stopped attracting the tourists and there was a vacancy in the Balkan-crystal-spiritual-day-trip market. See also the Serbian vampire village panic that's going on: http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=48759

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FAIL

social sciences?

the key to understanding is right there.......social sciences? hahahahah, put on this McDonalds shirt and answer the customers, theres a good chap!!

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Trollface

Oh North Korea... you little scamp, trying so hard to be stranger than Japan.

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Headmaster

Unfortunately only a capitalist economy can support Japan's strangeness levels.

Subsistence farmers enjoying the righteous fruits of the proletariat's dictatorship only infinitesimally away from Marx' "end of history" - not so much.

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Happy

Actually,

The block was so time-worn that most of the lettering was indistinguishable. What it really said was:

UNIx CORe Net LAyeR

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Anonymous Coward

Funny how

the DPNK are alluding to sovereignty over the Korean peninsular based on a fairy tale of a unicorn ridden by an absolute monarch.

I would have thought absolute monarchy would not be something they wished to be proud of.....oh, hang on, I guess absolutism is what they have now eh?

Anyway, from my reading, King Tongmyong was founder of the most northerly of the three Kingdoms of Korea, not the entire peninsular.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomb_of_King_Tongmyong

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Kingdoms_of_Korea

.../ now, I must be off to feed the dragons at the bottom of the garden.

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Facepalm

Re: Korean story

"seldom" true?

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Re: Korean story

Really?

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Pint

Name of a Pub?

Perhaps they have found the oldest pub with a cute name, not an actual lair of unicorns?

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Coat

Re: Name of a Pub?

So you think that stone tablet is a sign of the times?

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