back to article NASA: THE TRUTH about the END OF THE WORLD on 21 Dec

Five NASA scientists took time out yesterday to assure the public that the world will not end on 21 December. The astroboffins dismissed claims that a rogue planet called Nibiru will smash into Earth in three weeks, killing us all. The planetary smash-up just before Christmas 2012 was allegedly predicted by the Mayans. A wave …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

Anonymous Coward

The calendar on my wall ends on Dec 31st. OMG, we are all going to die... Not.

People need to stop being idiots and deal with 'what is' instead of 'what could be'.

30
0
Joke

Arrrggghhh! My calender end today, 30th November. OMG!!!!

Oh. Hang on. there's another page. Yippee.

34
0
Silver badge
Joke

Not if you've got an Android device (lol)

*, yes, yes, they've fixed the missing December - its a JOKE!

9
0
Coat

The calendar on my wall doesn't even start til tomorrow!

Therefore, the world ends tonight and the 1st ushers in a new era, a new phase of humanity that provides a little piece of chocolate every day, until the world ends on the 24th (which happens to be a double sided door and looks like an epic chocolate).

11
0
Silver badge
Mushroom

If it was going to end..... Would they let us know before hand?

Think of the consequences of actually knowing the world will end on a particular day three weeks from now.

What would YOU do if you knew it was certain?

1
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

That's easy - borrow ridiculously large sums of money and spend it foolishly

7
0
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: "That's easy - borrow ridiculously large sums of money and spend it foolishly"

Works for most governments...hey...why not?

4
0
Silver badge
Pint

Re: "That's easy - borrow ridiculously large sums of money and spend it foolishly"

> Works for most governments...hey...why not?

That's because for most governments the world does end every 4 or 5 years...

17
0
C 2
Joke

RE: If it was going to end

You know someone wrote an excellent article here:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/December_21,_2012#Top_Methods_of_Destruction

They've even got a lovely picture of the 'doomsday asteroid'.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

My calendar ends on the 25th!

Of course, it also contains chocolate.

2
0
Bronze badge

of course that would be

because you couldn't possibly spend it wisely.

0
0
Silver badge
Linux

Mine ends on 3:14:08 UTC 19th January 2038, so we still have plenty of time

9
0
Silver badge
Pirate

People need to stop being idiots

Do you have a suggestion as how to achieve this?

(I have one, but it's rather messy)

6
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: People need to stop being idiots

Any chance we can extend this consensus to the "global warming" "climate change" Anthropological Impending Climatiferous Armageddonization cult?

(anonymous so they can't all start chasing me with their pitchforks and flaming torches)

5
0
Silver badge

Another page - oh shit shit shit

its januarys of this year flipped over!

0
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Silver badge

Re: People need to stop being idiots

I think that, having gotten rid of the idiots, use of scarce and scarce-ish resources such as power, food, petrol and other hydrocarbons will significantly drop, and greenhouse gas emissions and thus anthropowhatever global warming with it. There may be some transient effects from burning the piles of corpses though.

Oh, and it's just pitchforks being wielded by that crowd. Flaming torches would run counter to their stated objectives.

0
0
zb

For some time now I have challenged the loonies who believe in this rubbish with a very fair offer. Sell me your house now for cash at 50% of its market value and I will allow you to live there rent free until 31st December.

Suddenly their sincerely held beliefs become a little less secure when they turn down a chance to indulge in a few fantasies with a big wodge of cash.

3
1
Anonymous Coward

Re: My calendar ends on the 25th!

me too... but for some odd reason the chocolates are half the size of those from previous years. I'm a bit miffed at the rip-off but at least the kids haven't complained too much.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Dangerous

"I'm concerned about the young people who write to me and say they are terribly afraid, they say they can't sleep, they can't eat. Some of them have said they are contemplating suicide.

So while it's a joke to many people and a mystery to others, there is a core of people who are truly concerned."

Please make public the indentities of these people. They are clearly a danger to the public and to themselves. Lets ensure that thier rantings and beliefs stay in their heads and do not corrupt the rest of society.

16
8
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Dangerous

NAh, just let them top themselves, think of it as evolution in action.

20
4
TRT
Silver badge

Re: Dangerous

Hey, leave them be. After all, for a fair few people the 21st December will be their last day. So, partially right. Just not any more right than picking any other date.

2
0
Happy

"a core of people who are truly concerned"

I can only hope that NASA is maintaining a database of these people, and that when it comes time to ship people off to mars en masse, these are the first to get blasted off.

To somewhere else.

2
0

"there is a core of people who are truly concerned"

They're not core, they're fringe.

2
0
Go

Re: Dangerous

Yeah, blame Darwin.

0
0
Gimp

Re: Dangerous

Mmmh, am I the only one spotting the flaw in their logic? "we are scared of death, so in order to get around this we have decided to...erm!!...kill ourselves". I do honestly despair about the kind of idiots we are breeding in this world of ours.

1
0
Happy

Re: "a core of people who are truly concerned"

The 'B' Ark.

1
0
Alien

Re: Dangerous

Sadly one of those is my brother. First it was the earth will end/be destroyed, now as the time comes closer it's, A new world order will usher forth. I say if its a true prediction then It would not change on a daily basis. I think it's time to change my phone number.

0
0

It it's not true...

Why was December omitted from Android Jelly Bean 4.2? Google aren't fools.

3
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: It it's not true...

But why then did they keep January 2013 onwards? I reckon the entire human race gets abducted by aliens on the 1st December for a month-long tour of the solar system, and then returned on New Year's Day with a sore head.

3
0
Alien

Re: It it's not true...

As long as it's just my head that's sore.

Them probing aliens ....

17
0
Silver badge
Pint

@dotdavid

"But why then did they keep January 2013 onwards?"

Because it would cost them more programming hours to remove all that and still keep a working calendar ;)

No; I'm not a doomsday thinker.

0
0
Bronze badge

Re: It it's not true...

@Bakunin Licken

It was just an acorn that fell on your bonce, everything's going to be *alright*!

1
0
Silver badge

"It makes no sense, because if it was there we could see it. We'd have been tracking it for a decade or so. And by now, it would be the brightest object in the sky after the Sun and Moon. You can dispel this rumour yourself, just go out and look at the sky."

But what if it's coming from the day side of the Earth?

8
3
jai
Silver badge

you mean it's coming through the middle of the sun?

6
0
Silver badge

possibly jai. dont be so fucking skeptical. remember naboo is a magical planet

4
1
Silver badge

But that's because of gangans (gungas? gunguns?) at their core.

1
0
Coat

Is Psy short for Psychic then?

2
0
jai
Silver badge

@NomNomNom

fair point - but then, being magical, it's probably invisible. stealthy like a ninja. so could be coming from any direction

we're doomed! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!

(actually, don't bother, that's not going to help any other than leaving you out of breath and unable to scream as the seas boil and the skies turn as blood....)

1
0

@Destroy All Monsters

With that post you have put a most distressing image in my head.

Gungan Style!

0
0
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: @NomNomNom

"fair point - but then, being magical, it's probably invisible. stealthy like a ninja. so could be coming from any direction"

Latest theory is it's that rogue planet that was found a few light-years away and which will travel here via a wormhole. That or it's hiding behind Saturn and is going to fscking leap out at us.

I'm not making that up by the way. I have a sense of humour that is fed by occasionally running a search to see what these bozos are currently frothing about.

It's just sad fantasy, built on desire for a sense of superiority. We are 'sheeple' for not believing it, and their egos are fed by being privy to the secret knowledge.

2
0
Holmes

What if it was painted black? After all, it's the embodiment of evil.

2
0
Silver badge
Alien

"What if it was painted black? After all, it's the embodiment of evil."

No worries. The Diva has the stones.

4
0
Devil

I see a planet

And I want it painted black.

3
0
Silver badge
Boffin

What if it was painted black?

Then we would still be able to detect it, as it would be blocking out stuff behind it.

Now, if it was entirely transparent (and not acting as a lens either), or shielded with that invisibility cloak that boffins now manage to erect around sheds (as long as those are cylindrical, 1cm tall and looked at from a particular angle), or surrounded by a SEP field, then you'd have a serious problem seeing it.

1
1

Re: @NomNomNom

'fair point - but then, being magical, it's probably invisible. stealthy like a ninja. so could be coming from any direction'

What if the planet's hiding in an invisible shed? We'd never see it - unless someone opened the shed door to pop out to the bathroom.

3
0
Boffin

RE: But what if it's coming from the day side of the Earth?

It doesn't need to be coming form the "day side".

I translated the Mayan texts myself. They are actually surprisingly specific on this subject. They clearly state that Irnbru was ejected from the galactic nucleus of Andromeda at a velocity of 0·99573528C

Those malevolent Mayan munchkins received a tip-off about our impending apocalypse in the form of a radio message sent by (now extinct) inhabitants of a planet towards the edge the Andromeda system. The archaic Andromedonians witnessed the evil ejaculation as it occurred - some 2·5 million years ago. They calculated the terrible trajectory of the ominous orb and its inevitable impact with our paltry planet, and, seeing that our beautiful blue ball was supremely suitable for sustaining sentient species, they were kind enough to send a warning message our way. The message, travelling at ~C, soon overtook the slightly slower moving "planet" and arrived at earth on the morning of 11th May 6022BC. It stated the precise interval between message arrival and impact. Hence the "calendar".

So, you see, it's all true. And no... We certainly can't see it coming. I don't know how those NASA "boffins" can have missed something so obvious. Perhaps they got their translation from Google.

5
0
Angel

Re: I see a planet (Johan Bastiaansen)

An upvote to you good Sir for the most welcome (and timely) Stones nod

0
0
Bronze badge
Flame

It's coming from *behind the Moon*!

0
0
JDX
Gold badge

Re: @NomNomNom

>>It's just sad fantasy, built on desire for a sense of superiority. We are 'sheeple' for not believing it, and their egos are fed by being privy to the secret knowledge.

And that's different from Linux/Android zealots how?

1
7

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.

Forums