back to article Dawn of the X-Men? MUTANTS swarm AMONG US, say geneticists

Humanity has entered a new genetic era, according to a newly published study, with well over half the mutations found having occurred "recently". Potentially troublesome genetic changes are particularly common among those of European heritage compared to those with African forebears, the research shows. "The recent dramatic …

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Unhappy

Imagine my disappointment

At finding out that the ability to shoot frikkin' lazor beams out of one's eyes isn't possible

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Anonymous Coward

So many

Men developing Moobs, is this a mutation?

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Pint

Re: So many

No, that's just the beer.

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Alien

Moties!

I, for one, welcome our new Gripping Hand.

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Alien

Re: Moties!

What's this? A Niven/Pournelle fan? Well met, sir!

I've used the gripping hand reference around my work and not one person gets the reference, even though we ar ea bunch of technophiles, and most are Science Fiction fans as well. I still need to read The Moat around Murcheson's Eye some day...

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Re: Moties!

Chalk up another one who using the "on the gripping hand" reference. Then again, I also tell people "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it" (making them wonder if I'm being cynical or just unintentionally mixing metaphors, if they catch it at all) so maybe they've filed me under "not to be closely listened to".

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Holmes

Re: Moties!

In America "The Moat Around Murcheson's Eye" was published as "Gripping Hand". It included maps of various star systems and their Crazy Eddie Points.

I knew I had to read it when I saw a short extract published online - very short in fact - it was just a few lines from a message Bury was writing. He signed off with "Horace Hussein Bury, aboard the starship Sinbad, somewhere in the Mote system. "

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Re: Moties!

I suspect this is a post from him better known as "Speaker to Seafood".

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Re: Moties!

Be careful which Niven race you bring into this. Pak Protector style behaviour would be bad news for those with too many mutations.

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Re: Moties! : Pak Protectors

Not to worry we haven't polluted the earth with thallium oxides yet. But IIRC certain thallium oxides are used in some high temp super conductors, so maybe in a few decades we could see "tree of life" plants sprouting up all over the place.

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Re: Moties!

Yeahyeahyeah, yooda cultural reference king.

But do you know who Crazy Eddie really was?

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Re: Moties!

Didn't he write a GUI?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CEGUI

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Joke

So, is being able to leap tall buildings in one bound in or out?

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Coat

At least scaling tall buildings at the push of a button is in :)

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"So, is being able to leap tall buildings in one bound in or out?"

Over yes. Off is still fine.

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Joke

Re: "...able to leap tall buildings..."

I don't know, but running faster than the trains wouldn't count for much these days.

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ESP?

even a little enhanced mental abilities would be useful for avoiding the dystopian Idiocracy future

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Re: ESP?

"the dystopian Idiocracy future"

Judging by current and recent governments, and current and recent oppositions, we already live in a dystopian Idiocracy.

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Re: ESP?

no need to enhance what we've got - just use some of it.

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Joke

Re: ESP?

What we need is some sort of distributed processing system along the lines of Seti@home and the like which can use spare human brain capacity that is otherwise going unused.

We'd probably have the cure(s) for cancer and interstellar travel within weeks or months.

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Big Brother

Re: ESP?

@John Brown (no body)

Rossum Corporation already got there. "Welcome to the attic."

Phil.

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Go

I'd have more to say on the subject

But it's damn hard to type with these adamantine claws in the way.....

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Re: I'd have more to say on the subject

Don't worry, I could read your mind and see what you were going to post. Very insightful, by the way.

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Anonymous Coward

self and a mate, lying on sofas in our student house just over a quarter of a century ago, came up with a theory that this was happening and would eventually be shown to occur.

We weren't (and aren't) scientists, but were ably assisted by the consumption of a sizeable quantity of, err, things that one is not strictly speaking meant to consume.

We even theorised that at some point organ transplantation and the like might start to be considered, err, let's say "not flawless", as it would enable those with genetic weaknesses in organs spread their genes more easily before they died off.

Who knew that L(ying on a) S(ofa in the) D(ark) gave you Nostradamus-like powers!

Or maybe me and him are just mutants.

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Astute Active NEUKlearer Control Sub Missions ... MOD £s at Work, Rooting out Sources for Great News

Who knew that L(ying on a) S(ofa in the) D(ark) gave you Nostradamus-like powers! ..... Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 29th November 2012 16:15 GMT

And now that you know, AC? Who is able to wield it understandably, with Admirable Control?

Regular Army, Navy, Air Force or Special Forces in the Field? Manchurian Candidates for Candy Dates in Private and Piratical Places ..... Super Spaces would be Perfect Play Team Mates.

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Facepalm

Oh gawd. I just realised I've spent the last ten minutes trying to decipher amanfromMars...

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@Graham

Damn it! Your comment suckered me into it too.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Science finally answers the big question.

That explains Julian Assange, then.

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Black Helicopters

Re: Science finally answers the big question.

Nothing explains Julian Assange!

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Holmes

Supprised why?

Hmmmm not surprising

I heal incredibly fast - fast enough that doctors and nurses after operations have commented on how quickly I've recovered. I also recover quickly from anesthetic as well.... leading to some weird effects when I wake up far sooner than they expect.

Genetic mutation? I'd think so, and its quite common too..... though it won't spread much as it doesn't really give any ability to live longer/stronger/faster than anyone else.

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Go

Re: Supprised why?

On the contrary. You will have more hope of surviving an Alien's sting.

Good look, Marine. You can obtain your Impulse Rifle using this one-time pass.

Semper Fi!

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Re: I heal incredibly fast

Quick, get the adamantium ready!!

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Trollface

Re: Supprised why?

Sounds like you've got an unusually fast cellular metabolism which'd make you metabolise drugs faster than normal or you just have hyperthyroidism. It could also cause you to slightly overdose on drugs that rely on you metabolising them into their active form at a certain rate.

I can square root numbers in my head but only accurately if the root is a whole number. That's not a mutation, I'm just sad.

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Re: Supprised why?

Goa'uld symbiote?

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Re: Supprised why?

My wife seems to be able to urinate more than she imbibes, and usually within about 5 minutes. She's always surprising the medics :)

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Re: Suprised why?

It's a common mutation in women. Tourist trips with my wife turn into a tour of public conveniences ('just in case'). A trip to Stockholm was interesting as the Swedes don't do public toilets. Lots of little beers and coffees as we leapt from cafe to cafe.

Phil.

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Re: Suprised why?

Well, we live in Wales now, so I'm constantly scanning the side of the road for laybys where she can drop her kegs and piss on her boots :D

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Anonymous Coward

Every cloud...

I guess one day we'll face the end of the world. Only then will we know who got the useful mutations...

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Boffin

As long as we don't mutate to an extend where we'd need to be encased in bonded polycarbide armour...

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Facepalm

White people are...

FREAKS! (I've long suspected that it was so. Now we have PROOF.)

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Anonymous Coward

"Mutations are introduced in each new child (particularly if he or she has an older dad)"

It would be one hell of an impressive mutation if the child had a younger dad!

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Boffin

Re: "Mutations are introduced in each new child (particularly if he or she has an older dad)"

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" established the scientific basis and all.....

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Anonymous Coward

Europe.....lol......must be from all that inbreading.....

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Happy

inbreading is indeed a very serious problem.

Gotta regulate those bakeries some more.

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I'm sorry but I'm a European and I prefer my breading on the outside.

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Coat

Bread it up your ass!

So Jewrope is not being swarmed by Mooslims and Yougoslavs, then?

Mine is the one with "Attila Bread Me" on the back.

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Alien

Don't mean to poop on the prejudice...

...but I expect the reason(s) would be altogether more mundane.

I blame the weather. Naturally.

The more shitty the weather, the more smoke-filled one's hovel... and the more time you'll be spending in it... especially those interminably long cold wet winter nights. Lob a crapload of magic mushrooms and dodgy mead into the fug to help pass the time and... well... after 10000 years of that, I'm amazed we didn't do a lot worse than blue eyes and gingers!

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Trollface

Re: Bread it up your ass!

What Attila wasn't "bread you."

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I could be a mutant!

I seem to be able to do things that (most) other people can't. For example I can increase/decrease my heart rate and blood pressure at will. I can regulate my own temperature and I have an above average lung capacity.

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