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back to article Ten weird Chinese mobile phones

Shopping for a mobile phone this Christmas? You could make the easy choice and get an Apple iPhone 5, one of Samsung's recent releases or take a punt on whether enough apps will emerge to make the Nokia Lumia 920 worth your hard-earned cash. But no matter how refined those phones, they're also common as muck, so they're never …

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Joke

On the uses of the N688 Watch Phone...

-- "Hey, why does your voice keep fading in and out every second?"

"Urgngh"

--"What did you say?"

"Mmgghh"

--"What are you doing?!"

"Unghgh!"

-- "You sick freak!!!" </Click>

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Anonymous Coward

Re: On the uses of the N688 Watch Phone...

It reminds me of the Holly Watch on Red Dwarf.

'Urgh! I can see right down your gob!'

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Re: On the uses of the N688 Watch Phone...

I was thinking more of Brain's from Thunderbirds talking into his watch while the people around him think he's gone mental!

I like the teddy bear phone though!

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Gold badge

Re: On the uses of the N688 Watch Phone...

I like the teddy bear phone though!

That only lasts until your next business meeting :p

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Quad SIM mobile

Travelling regularly between two countries I do have a SIM for each for private use - in a dual SIM device. The third one, now in a separate handset, would be for business use. And I could easily add a forth one, e.g. prepaid, with a favourable deal for data. Pretty sure it's not just me...

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Re: Quad SIM mobile

Imagine if they made cars like this - anyone else see that Simpsons episode where Homer designed (and built) a car.

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url

Re: Quad SIM mobile

Agreed, I've seen this on several occasions:

business one

business two

Wife

Mistress

it's not uncommon and actually very handy (German pun intended)

the travelling aspect simply makes it more viable than less.

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Re: Quad SIM mobile

Unfortunately it seems (per the website) to just take GSM SIMs, rather than 3G, so I'd worry it wouldn't be compatible with ANY current UK SIM cards :-(

Still interesting though.

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WTF?

Michael Schumacher

Has not driven a Ferrari competitively since 2006.

How old is that phone?

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Silver badge

Re: Michael Schumacher

That, and they have copied Vertu's old styling. Not that Vertu are any more tasteful than these.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Michael Schumacher

And who'd buy it apart from 6-year-old boys?

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Re: Michael Schumacher

Who would purchase.....

Guilable CEOs ;)

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Where can I procure one of those mini phones, that would be awesome!

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Her you go

http://www.s-w-a-p.co.uk/models/swap-nova/

Check links. Cheapest seem to be MenKind at £79.99

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Re: Her you go

Just had a look at the sites selling this - there's a review on Amazon - seem to remeber it followed along the lines of 'broke after 2 days'

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FAIL

...that would be awesome!

(Until you want to send a text.)

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Silver badge

Re: ...that would be awesome!

Broke after 2 days?

Well, their brochure did say 'USB that make phone call' [singular].

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Paris Hilton

Quad Sim relevance

It's easy to see where Quad Sim would be useful!

1 SIM for your wife, and one each for your 3 mistresses.

Paris, because she isn't wifey material

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Is it wrong...

that i really want a watch phone? Like really really? I could use a tablet for facebook, and web and emails. Then turn into dick tracy when i want to make calls. If it does wifi hotspoting then all the better!

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Meh

Re: Is it wrong...

I really really want a watchphone too. I actually had a look for one not long ago, but couldn't find any that aren't crap --- they're all featurephone grade, and I really want something with Android.

I did find this: http://www.linuxslate.org/Review_Z1_Android-2.2-Watch.html

...but it's less of a watchphone and more of a smartphone with a wristband. Also, Froyo, eeagh.

The one in the article may be a low-rent featurephone but at least it looks like a watch.

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Re: Is it wrong...

I'm with you - that watch-phone looks pretty cool

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Happy

Re: Is it wrong...

Just need a talking Trans-Am to go with it!

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Re: Is it wrong...

Isn't wanting a watch phone (something small that does one thing well) and wanting an Android phone (something that usually has nearly a 5" screen and does tons of stuff) an oxymoron?

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Re: Is it wrong...

@David Given

There was a review of a Sony watch phone on the Gadget Show a couple of days ago...

You get the full Android treatment. Check it out.

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What would be important for me...

It should be easy to program. That way I could write software for it to do what I want it to do. Obviously telephony isn't really practicable with those, however a little "wristputer" with Internet access would be useful. The problem is that the input is quite limited, therefore you'd need software customized for your needs.

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Gold badge

Re: What would be important for me...

Obviously telephony isn't really practicable with those

Psst, I've got a secret to tell you! Nobody watching? Good.

Look up "bluetooth headsets". Don't tell anyone..

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Coat

Re: Is it wrong...

@Jediben

Yes that would be a nice bit of KITT!

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Facepalm

Re: Is it wrong...

A watch phone isn't necessary to turn someone into a Dick. The iPhone seems to do that with some regularity. Not sure about the Tracey bit although I am pretty certain there'll be an appropriate attachment out there somewhere.

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Re: Is it wrong...

Watch phone - FINALLY I can imitate my fave show ever even further! Next: integrate a phone into the dashboard then download some sort of bar equaliser widget that works with incoming phone calls...

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Re: What would be important for me...

Yes but seriously, you can fit a whole phone into the space occupied by a bluetooth headset. That's kinda like like having a tiny netbook and then carrying a 30 inch monitor with you.

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Lapland phone

about as barefaced a copy of iPhone as it gets.

I can only assume the sales aren't enough to tempt apple into action (or that action would be pointless given the meh attitude towards copyright in China).

wonder if Foxconn make them!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Lapland phone

Shenzen Samsung was it? ;)

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Re: Lapland phone

Look at the Goopad Mini, and particularly the adverts for it if you want to see the ultimate in barefaced copying.

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Re: Lapland phone

Guess where all the legit "slightly scratched" iPhone5 bodies go........

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I'm dissapointed

So nobody else looked at the sWaP Nova EC107 and thought Zoolander ?

They should have called it the Blue Steel

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Silver badge

" ... do let us know how they went. " ?

Surely, it should be, " ... do let us know how they are going." ?

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Re: " ... do let us know how they went. " ?

Considering the expected quality of these devices, I think "how they went" is the correct terminology... ;)

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Anonymous Coward

Baby bear phone?

"A lanyard is included with the phone. We’ve no idea if it has been tested to effectively throttle the child when they catch it on something".

I fixed it for you...

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Anonymous Coward

Just about spit up my coffee on this little gem:

"This creation, a product of Concox & New Thinking, seems to be aimed at kids who need to phone a friend when they can’t solve a puzzle on Dora the Explorer."

Lovely :)

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Star phone

Looks like something Nokia would have made a few years back. One step beyond their love of putting all the buttons in strange patterns.

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Obvious Target Market for C99

Given it's shape, it's clearly designed for ninjas. You'll find that a user-definable keypress causes it to split in half revealing a set of shuriken inside, cunningly positioned between circuit boards so as to pass through airport security (they're visible, but not seen, IYSWIM).

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Happy

Re: Obvious Target Market for C99

I'm assuming this phone was custom designed for Naomi Campbell. For when hitting your staff with blunt instruments just isn't enough...

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Devil

Begin GT Ferrari Phone

"You’ll be buying this one for its looks..."

Well, I won't, but I'm not a masochist with a gold fetish...

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Bronze badge

Re: Begin GT Ferrari Phone

No shit, there's a Lamborghini version of that same phone too.

http://www.chinatronic.com/products.php/LamborguiniX8/cPath,1

I cant say Id buy either of them myself but Im also not a masochist with a gold fetish.

Nor am I from New Jersey.

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Trollface

Lapland Tech i5

I hope Samsung sue them for copying their design

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Re: Lapland Tech i5

I see what you did there :-)

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"Gravity sensor"

Meaning, what, that it falls if you drop it?

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Re: "Gravity sensor"

No, no. It tells you what the current gravity of a situation is, and deploys blackout sunglasses if the situation is too dangerous. :)

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Joke

Re: "Gravity sensor"

I thought it meant it could detect minute variations in the Gravitational Force Constant, G.

Great for boffins.

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