Boffin claims Bigfoot DNA reveals BESTIAL BONKING
An American scientist is claiming DNA samples reportedly taken from Bigfoot show the beast is a product of mating between female humans and an undiscovered primate. Dr. Melba Ketchum has undergone a five-year examination of North American Sasquatch samples, and told The Register that she had discovered that the non-human samples …
This topic is closed for new posts.
what happens in the pleistocene ..
Damn, so that's what happened during that weekend I lost back in the day ..
female humans and an undiscovered primate
The undiscovered primate being - a redneck in a bigfoot suit
Re: female humans and an undiscovered primate
It wasn't a suit, just poor personal grooming
Re: female humans and an undiscovered primate
Nah, 'twas Hairy Bob - the Star Trek nerd.
Gotta catch them all
Fascinating work from Dr Ketchum, but her real test is going to be to catch them. Only then can she be the very best, like no one ever was. No doubt this will require her to travel across the land, searching far and wide. Hopefully this will enable her to understand the power that's inside.
Re: Gotta catch them all - her real test
Her real test shirley is whether the result is errr reproducible.
I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
So, Sasquatch is a hybrid of a human and an unknown species (which species, although non-human, is close enough to being human to be able to breed with humans). Which raises the question, what is the unknown species, and where did it come from? And why are there no descendants of the purebred version? And how could it have bred with humans 15,000 years ago when the earth is only 6,000 years old?
My head hurts.
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
Unknown to scientists. Everybody else has seen/met a bogan and yes there are still examples of the pure bred bogan to be found
@Gordo Rex
"And how could it have bred with humans 15,000 years ago when the earth is only 6,000 years old?"
Your point is what, exactly? That fundamentalist Christians would dismiss this story out of hand, but you are scientific enough to believe it? Evidently you haven't thought things through, because the implications of your "point" don't work out the way you think that they do.
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
The actual press release indicates that both Neanderthal and Denisovans are ruled out. That still leaves "hobbits" - the little guys from Indonesia, who were around 15 kya, and potentially others as well. Of course, if you want to consider the universe only 6,000 years old, you also have to conclude that whoever did the work was not only a really able forger, but a practical joker, since Slartybartfast or whoever did it, built the universe to appear at least 14 billion years old, and included the duckbilled platypus.
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
Ah the platypus. So many features like so many other animals, yet not related to any of them.
You'd think it would give paleo-biologists pause for thought.
Re: @Gordo Rex
Easy one -- it's one of God's mysteries for us to ponder over - sorted!
Anyway all Bigfoot will be toast in a few weeks time - as will be the rest of us - apparently.
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
More to the point:
"The paper reviewing the samples is currently under peer review*, and the team hadn't intended to make the news public beforehand**, but Dr. Ketchum explained that one of the Russian team had let the news slip.*** "
*Other people who know what they're talking about haven't had the chance to look at it and say "this is bollocks" yet.
** Honest guv.
***Because getting it out before peer review gets some media attention and nobody can say "this is bollocks" just yet.
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
This is BOLLOCKS... :-)
Re: I can't believe I'm commenting on this....
"Ah the platypus. So many features like so many other animals, yet not related to any of them."
Other than the other monotremes, both extant and extinct of course and that ALL life on earth can be demonstrated to have a single common ancestor, dubbed LUCA. That includes monotremes in general and platypus in particular.
Blue bollocks syndrome
Have you considered how physically painful arrested chortling is?
Ligers and Tigions
Well if Loins and Tigers can interbreed with each other and product fertile offspring and horses and donkeys can interbreed and product sterile offspring you never know what could happen between members of the great apes...
"Loins and Tigers"
Shouldn't like to give that one a try, mate! Getting banned from the zoo would be the best possible result, I think, though not the likeliest.
One night stand from hell... Ouch
You know the saying... Big feet.....
Re: One night stand from hell... Ouch
So what you're saying is that making the beast with two backs makes a beast with one back?
Re: One night stand from hell... Ouch
Big feet = ......
big shoes?
Interspecies sterility
Interspecies hybrids are generally sterile (that's pretty much the definition of a species), so either the hybrids are incredibly long-lived, or hybridisation events are continuing (to put it politely)!
Re: Interspecies sterility
"Interspecies hybrids are generally sterile (that's pretty much the definition of a species), so either the hybrids are incredibly long-lived, or hybridisation events are continuing (to put it politely)!"
...Or the paper is bullsh1t...
Re: Interspecies sterility
"or hybridisation events are continuing"
It's called "Happy Hour"
So, basically, reading between the lines ...
... the group analyzed DNA from an unknown critter (Yak?) contaminated by untrained humans who collected the sample.
Waddimis?
Campaigning for zoophilia?
Ia this some sort of weird public relations exercise, timed to coincide with the introduction of legislation against bestiality in Germany?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/nov/27/germany-bestiality-ban
But ZZ Top walk fully upright. They've got legs, and they know how to use them...
I dunno, IaS ...
Post proof, or retract. Last time I was in the studio with ZZ Top, they were all legless ...
And I believe the lyric is "she's got legs, and knows how to use them ... ", the bards aren't included in the equation ...
Re: I dunno, IaS ...
It's the hirsute fur suit - every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.
Wow
I think (Dr.) Melba may have spent to much time in the wood, or hanging out with that "ancient aliens" guy from the history channel.
Sasquatch?
You mean they found a REAL sample from Sasquatch.
I think we would have heard about this before.
> the scientific method demands that disbelief be suspended until peers have reviews and retested.
For evolution perhaps.
I thought the normal procedure is to stick with orthodoxy unless proven false.
Hybrid of a human and an unknown ape species?
She's never been to Barnsley, then.
the scientific method demands that disbelief be suspended until peers have reviews and retested
It does? I must have slept through the "suspension of disbelief" lecture. Did it come between the bit about not accepting anything on face value or the bit about extraordinary claims requiring extraordinary evidence? Or did you just make it up?
"suspension of disbelief" lecture.
It comes in the literature course. He didn't make it up, he just got the classrooms mixed up and sat through the wrong lecture.
Constitution
"Government at all levels must recognize them as an indigenous people and immediately protect their human and Constitutional rights against those who would see in their physical and cultural differences a 'license' to hunt, trap, or kill them,"
I assume Sasquatch will also have the constitutional right to bear arms - which would make the hunting season interesting.
Let's not overlook the fact that once recognised as human the Big Foot community would be the sort of back-to-basics, small-government, proud American voters that the Republicans need. And don't you think a sasquatch running mate would add gravitas to any Gingrich campaign in 2016?
Re: the right to arm bears
"I assume Sasquatch will also have the constitutional right to bear arms - which would make the hunting season interesting."
Got arms like a bear already.
Re: Constitution
While Big S might be a proud self-reliant small government anthropoid, he is also some sort of commie pinko pervert, what with trotting about the woods naked having bestial rumpy-pumpy .
Republican constituent? NOT.
wait a moment...
In a variant of "pics or it didn't happen" the "dr." * claims to have received photographic evidence of the critter involved along with sampled material. Unless this is the usual Vague Blob in Shrubbery type, she would have her hands on the first actual visual evidence of these critters, which would in and of itself be enough to shake the world up a little bit.
Call me a sceptic, but nothing here engenders any form of excitement.
* A quick trawl for the "dr"s actual qualifications reveals a lot of claims of collaboration with a lot of organisations which could or could not be legit. What it does *not* reveal is her actual academic schooling and career, something which tends to be taken very seriously in academic circles, especially when it comes to the molecular sciences.
You never know ...
... there's a difference between being a sceptic and a complete dick.
Dr. Melba S. Ketchum biography:
Dr. Melba S. Ketchum grew up in Texas City, Texas. She attended Texas A&M University where she received her doctorate in Veterinary Medicine after five years at the university. She had a mixed veterinary practice until she founded DNA Diagnostics. Dr. Ketchum is the president and founder of DNA Diagnostics, Inc. d/b/a Shelterwood Laboratories. Established in 1985, DNA Diagnostics has become a leader in all types of DNA testing including: human and animal forensics, human and animal paternity and parentage testing, disease diagnostics, trait tests, animal and human identity testing, species identification and sex determination. Most common species of animals are tested at DNA Diagnostics.
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/guest/...-melba-s/47325
Re: the molecular sciences...
Oh, please don't bring moles into this. We have enough species confusion already!
This topic is closed for new posts.
