back to article Young Frenchwoman desperate for fat pipe tumbles out of window

A 25-year-old French woman's search for a Wi-Fi signal ended rather badly when she fell out of a first floor window, suffering "multiple fractures". The network-needy numpty was apparently sitting last Friday on a windowsill in her flat in Menton, a coastal town in southeastern France, with her laptop extended into the void "at …

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Linux

Attempted Darwinicide?

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FAIL

We have all been there...

And propped up our tablet or phone with a book on the windowsill so it can get a Free WiFi connection.

She just took it to another level... Ground.

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Facepalm

Re: We have all been there...

No, we have not all been there.

Some of us have the sense and self-control to go without wi-fi when it is not safely available. If you do not, I suggest you seek treatment for your addiction.

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Re: We have all been there...

I think it was XKCD that said something like "there is no force in the universe that can stop a geek desperate for an internet connection."

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JDX
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Re: We have all been there...

Great as it is to know better than everyone else Steve, you might not be aware some of us use the internet for important things.

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Re: We have all been there...

@JDX,

What, more important than you own safety?

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Re: We have all been there...

That Firelands raid isn't going to organise itself and I speak from experience in this regard. -.-

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Re: We have all been there...

I think it was XKCD that said something like "there is no force in the universe that can stop a geek desperate for an internet connection."

Gravity?

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@Steve Knox

well done Steve, no really, well done

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@JDX

you are redeemed

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Go

Re: We have all been there...

I have been tempted.. but thankfully I had a less precipitous solution handy: The Pringles Cantenna. Or, for a less temporary situation, Wok-Fi.

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Re: We have all been there...

What, even personal hygiene and sunlight?!!

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Happy

Re: We have all been there...

http://xkcd.com/466/

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Go

Re: We have all been there...

A 2 liter Coke bottle wrapped in tinfoil also works better than most expect.

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Re: We have all been there...

http://xkcd.com/466/

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Anonymous Coward

Re: We have all been there...

I remember getting a bit dangly on a hotel balcony in Greece having successfully located a victim WiFi box to tap into.... using Linux and VPN mostly .... I would have used the hotel WiFi, but it was always mysteriously broken, unlike the wired pay-for PCs nearby! I suggested to the hotel lady that I could easily fix it but she seemed to not be too keen ... even after a visit by a little van of IT experts it was still "broken". For about 2 weeks as far as I know. Or permanently, who knows....

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Zut Allors

Cette femme est clairement un idiot. Des gens comme cela ne devrait pas se fier à l'aide de ciseaux de sécurité.

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Happy

Re: Zut Allors

"Ciseaux de sécurité"

SAFETY SCISSORS???

Ceinture de sécurité, Shirly?

;-)

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Re: Zut Allors

Non, je voulais dire de ciseaux. Bien que je doute qu'elle ne pouvait faire confiance à une ceinture de sécurité non plus.

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Anonymous Coward

Yet another danger of WiFi ... someone should ban it immediately!

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Anonymous Coward

There ought to be a law! Think of the children!

/sarc

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Anonymous Coward

Since this is a tech site.....

.....can we at least have a note indicating the current state of said laptop? Did is survive the fall? What make was it? Did a z-list celebrity Tweet any condolance/support messages to it?

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Nev

Re: Since this is a tech site.....

Also which WiFi was she trying to connect to?

SFR, Free, Orange....?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Since this is a tech site.....

And did the signal strength decrease with altitude?

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Anonymous Coward

I can confirm lots of Grenouille-commentards are asking how the laptop is doing ..... ;)

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Defenestration!

My favourite word!

Was the laptop made by Apple and was she holding it wrong?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Defenestration!

She defenestrated(?) herself, so she was definitely doing something wrong.

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Headmaster

Re: Defenestration!

The word you're looking for is "autodefenestration".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Defenestration!

defenesturbation

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Defenestration!

It is a good word despite being fairly French in nature.

Robert Rankin (he of Sprouts of Wrath fame) used the word to describe what you need to do to solve the small screw problem. When you take something to pieces and reassemble it you're bound to be left with a number of small screws that came out of said laptop/watch/etc, and it is important to defenestrate them immediately lest they breed and multiply.

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Re: Defenestration!

French in nature? I think you mean Latin -- considering that even in German it's "Fenster", if we're going to talk about anomalous words for 'window', then 'window' is the place to start.

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Splendidly misleading title

...perfect for a Friday. Well done sir!

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Meh

Re: Splendidly misleading title

Is it wrong that my brain went with the innocuous way to take the double entendre before the risqué one?

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Happy

Re: Splendidly misleading title

Is it wrong that my brain went with the innocuous way to take the double entendre before the risqué one?

Yes.

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Re: Splendidly misleading title

Is it wrong that my brain went with the innocuous way to take the double entendre before the risqué one?

I would also go with "yes" as this is The Register on a Friday afternoon. If your first response is the innocuous one, then possibly some retraining may be in order.

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Gimp

Re: Splendidly misleading title

Ha - and when I read your comment for the first time I thought you'd suggested some restraining, rather than retraining!

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It takes all sorts.

I have to ask, did she expect to be able to use the laptop while extended out at arm's length?

Has she not heard of a USB wifi adapter and a long extension lead?

Wonders will never cease. Shame there's no headscratching icon because, well, I am.

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TRT
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Re: It takes all sorts.

Who hasn't tried to get that vital email to send in a poor signal area, eh?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It takes all sorts.

>Has she not heard of a USB wifi adapter and a long extension lead?

She may have done, but if she had to head to Le Clerc to buy one she could have just popped into a cafe with WiFi (weefee).

Using stuff already in her home, she could have tied the laptop to a broom with duck-tape...

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@TRT

Steve Knox, or so it seems

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Vic
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Re: It takes all sorts.

> did she expect to be able to use the laptop while extended out at arm's length?

I had to hold my phone at arms' length out of a plane door the other week[1]. And it worked fine :-)

Vic.

[1] I needed to get a GPS fix for my tracker application. A clear view of the sky tends to mean a faster lock...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It takes all sorts.

Have you "tried" to buy WiFi gear in France? It looked like it was maybe contraband goods where I was. :P

Easy to buy PCs and printers though. And cellphones, and countless 3G dongles.....

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Anonymous Coward

Mis-read instructions for using Word

Open window, and type into it...

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What was the device in question,

and did it survive the Defenestration. Enquiring minds want to know!

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TRT
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Coat

Re: What was the device in question,

If it was a the next generation MacBookAir, she could have held onto it and floated gently down, right? I mean, with all this weight reduction Apple claim, helium filled drives and so on, the next generation must be lighter than air.

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How silly

Surely everyone knows that MacBook Airs use SSDs that don't weigh anything at all.

Trouble is they also use tiny little surface-mount connectors that don't plug in to anything at all -- boss's son demolished an Air, I got the resulting box of bits, and now am the proud owner of a teeny little 128G SSD that I can't bloody use!

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So, she took it on the chin, eh?

I mean, if you're going to use Scottish words and all, and if Scotland's second language is STILL French...I can't believe I'm the first to say it.

/sigh... Look up 'menton'.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So, she took it on the chin, eh?

Hi Paul, I believe that sadly a mandatory language (usually French) was dropped as a High School subject several years ago, in favour of kids individually choosing a lame easy subject like "studies of Powerpoint studies", or something.... much to the disgust of my parents (retired French and Latin language teachers) but never mind, chin up! - French is still the most popular second language being learned in schools. Amongst people that aren't brazen slackers destined for History of Art degrees at St Andrew's Uni, that is.

Additionally, most wannabe independent nations in Northern Europe normally wanna-be like Nordic countries (presumably because they are unusually financially well-off) but for some reason they seem reluctant to learn Norwegian, Swedish or Finnish .... ;)

Seems that Spanish might be more popular than German at the moment, additionally..... appears that Mandarin Chinese has leapfrogged German, although if these kids go on holiday to the EU they might be in for a bit of a shock.... especially in Germany, Italy, Switzerland, or in Brussels.... etc.

Plus, having seen the location of Menton, perhaps she was trying to get a signal from Italy? Perhaps she was signalling ahead for a spaghetti order with a fast getaway car waiting, Ronin-style to get her over the border to her table? ;)

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Paris Hilton

What absolutely amazes me

is the fact that even after more than 2 hours nobody has yet stated the obvious:

That using Windows* for internet access is potentially dangerous.

Oops, that should have been a lower case 'w' in windows, of course. My bad.

Paris, for several reasons . . .

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What happened to the laptop?

Was it still working afterwards?

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