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back to article Campaigners roll out political-correctness Voight-Kampff CAPTCHAs

Politically correct security experts have come up with a Voight-Kampff version of CAPTCHAs, the popular but sometimes irritating challenges designed to make sure that a human and not a bot is behind a request to sign-up for an online service or post a comment on an online forum. The Civil Rights Defenders CAPTCHA asks …

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Boffin

Better politically correct CAPTCHAs

Use them to explain to third-world sweat-shop workers how to run a trade union.

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Paris Hilton

Obligatory

"Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a liberal, Mr. Deckard?"

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Re: Obligatory

Captcha: "Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother."

Response: Server shot to pieces

Conclusion: We're guessing that this one was a bot. Though it might have been someone sick of trying to decipher illegiable captchas.

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Alien

Multiple choice is a fallacy

"(Politically) incorrect responses mean that a user needs to wait..."

So, tomorrow the other answer is valid. And next week we need to ask with sugar-coating attached. Next month the taboo of asking about taboos is tabooed using taboos.

Next they tell you that the IP addresses are logged and traced, depending your alleged answers. What could possibly go wrong with this so called "technology"?

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And at www.godhatesfags.com ...

...we'll find the same questions, but with different correct answers.

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Re: And at www.godhatesfags.com ...

What does God have against cigarettes? Isn't Heaven big enough to have a smoking room?

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"Politically correct security experts "

Really? The golden rule for any security expert ought to be "Trust No One (without favour)" . Introducing political correctness does seem to bias the trust somewhat.

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FAIL

thought police

so if you disagree with their views, no fail the test and cannot get access to whichever site you want. A system that promotes tolerance through intolerance, fantastic just what we need.

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Re: thought police

As a person belonging to a couple of minorities ( maybe not so much minorities in London though : gay and born and raised abroad ) I find the concept appalling.

I was born with enough common sense to know that once I walk through the door and enter the outside world some people will like me and some will dislike me for one reason or another, and the vast majority will ignore me. The same happens to everybody else. I am sorry for the few ones who cannot deal with this simple fact of life.

Most people, anyway, can. From what I see, these sort of thoughts are generally children of brains belonging to "normal" non intelligent people. Think of Harriet Harman for example, it doesn't get much worse than that.

They really believe that by telling you what to think, you will end up thinking it. Has it ever worked on anybody on here? Or do you get a little bit more annoyed every time, towards the people they want you to like, and the messengers themselves?

Just a thought...

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Devil

Re: thought police

"They really believe that by telling you what to think, you will end up thinking it. Has it ever worked on anybody on here?"

I'd reply to this but a thousand screaming fanbois have finally shown me the light and I'm now off to get an iPhone 5.

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@Thomas 4 - Re: thought police

Very very good point :)

I wish you a very pleasant rest of your life now that you finally saw the purple light.

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Re: thought police

"They really believe that by telling you what to think, you will end up thinking it. Has it ever worked on anybody on here?"

Yes, it has. It is the basis of doctrine ( of any flavour). The only thing you got to be careful for is making sure examples to the contrary of [Truth] are unavailable during puberty. [/simplicity].

There's a lot of factors involved, but the technique works very well.

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"popular but sometimes irritating challenges"

Popular with site designers. Hated by users.

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Re: "popular but sometimes irritating challenges"

Not too popular with site designers either, come to that; but it's less irritating for the site owner (the person who's paying) than being deluged with auto-spam.

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Unhappy

Politically incorrect would be calling gay people faggots. Believing that gay people should be beaten is a bit more than being insensitive.

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How about "Alexander Lukashenko has changed the Belorussian constitution so that he can be president for life" - another question but less clear cut. Whilst hitting gays with sticks sticks is fairly clearly wrong, other questions are not so.

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And what about gay masochists who like being hit with sticks? Excluding them is the height of political incorrectness, no?

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Joke

Masochist: "Hit me, hit me, HIT ME!!"

Sadist: "No."

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Thumb Down

Fatuous

High-minded, certainly

Attention-seeking, by definition

Flawed, probably

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Next

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WTF?

So the only people able to see/respond to a website using this 'technology'

are

(a) those who either already agree with the policies espoused thereon

(b) those who disagree but can work out the expected answer

(c) those who have reasonably simple Turing machine robots to answer automatically

A Turing test to prove you're human, maybe, but one based on your political views? Not convinced...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So the only people able to see/respond to a website using this 'technology'

So our test telling robots and humans apart doesn't work you say ??? No problem we just redefine what we mean by human to whatever person or bot passes our new test.

Bit like the old joke about how many Microsoft engineers it takes to change a lightbulb: Answer, none, Ballmer has just declared darkness to be an industry standard.

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Anonymous Coward

Rubbish CAPTCHA

If you have a one-on-three chance of success then you're in after a few retries at most, which is no hindrance to a bot.

In other words, this does not work as a CAPTCHA.

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"a test for human empathy"

So it's not a CAPTCHA, it's a CAPTPHA: "Completely Automated Public Turing Test To Tell Psycopaths and (other) Humans Apart"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "a test for human empathy"

Thing is that any psychopath with a moderate level of intelligence would know what the "correct" expected answer would be, and be able to give it if it was in their interest to do so, even if it didn't represent their true opinion.

Matter of fact, psychopaths are well-known for their ability to manipulate people in general- such a test would only work if it was able to detect the true, underlying emotional response, probably via physiological means- pretty much like the Voight-Kampff test, to be honest.

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Devil

Re: "a test for human empathy"

Just scan their braaiiinnnns. I want all politicians to get a mandatory scan here!

Interestingly, in the PKD novel, the replicants are the psychopaths - they don't connect (even among themselves IIRC) and don't understand anything about peoples' motiviations. Consequently they are just out to fuck up peoples' lives. Deckhard is confused at first but rejoins the mainstream after his new expensive goat his thrown off a building by Rachael. There was even a discussion about whether he should shoot the girl immediately or after bedding her first. Definitely not PC.

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Let's test Siri

I'd love to see what Siri has to say when posed these questions.

Also, wouldn't this test discriminate against lawyers, politicians, and other similar lifeforms?

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Go

Re: Let's test Siri

If you can invent a system to keep lawyers and politicians of the internet, you win the whole world's thanks.

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Anonymous Coward

On the plus side..

.. it puts those fantastically annoying opinion polls to some use.

I hate those things with an unholy passion.

"Hi there, could we please your 3 second visit to the site giving you information with some crap that is totally unexpected, will always take longer than promised and will never tell you if it's (a) properly anonymised and (b) what your answers are going to be used for?"

Only if you print the answers on thick, ragged edged cardboard and than stick it where it hurts.. Grmbl.

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Re: On the plus side..

I prefer to think of them printed on 40 grit sandpaper for that full "sailing round Cape Horn"[1] effect.

[1] Guarantees a rough passage.

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Anonymous Coward

Gaaaagh!

These people are cretins, morons, idiots and retarded. Whatever their sexual orientation.

It's not a CAPTCHA but more stupid propaganda. A lot of the people promoting LGBT rights are just promoting LGBT rather than tolerance or equality. They are only marginally better than people that burnt witches. They are harming "acceptance" of LGBT lifestyle. Anyone noticed how much the Beeb promotes LGBT?

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This won't go wrong!

Please enter your name, address, daytime phone, email and answer this very personal question for our records.

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Pint

Oh god I thought the silly season finished in August!

Pint coz well fuck it.

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