back to article Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

According to a new study, drinking more than three cups of coffee per day has been shown to correlate with an increased risk of developing glaucoma, which can lead to vision loss or blindness. "While caffeinated coffee has several health benefits," lead researcher Jae Hee Kang told Health magazine, "drinking three or more cups …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm, last time I tried to give up coffee I noticed blurred vision then loss of sight. I eventually realised it was because my eyes had closed. Brewed myself a coffee and I was cured. Coffee CURES blindness.

    1. James Micallef Silver badge
      Joke

      Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

      There's an easy solution - take the teaspoon out of the mug before drinking

      :)

    2. garbo
      Devil

      Or could it be that...

      ...your cupless hand was doing something naughty when you weren't holding that steaming java?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

    …And my eyesight is still as good as ever!

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

      I always close my eyes when I do it, so it does kind of make me go blind! It's blinding stuff though!

      1. Michael 28
        Happy

        Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

        Simple solutions

        1 Never poit a "loaded weapn" at anyone, including yourself.

        2. Wear Safety Specs... Health and safety.. it's the aw!

        1. Michael 28
          Happy

          Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

          Yes I noticed the typos.. thanks

          1. Martin Huizing

            Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

            Did you notice the typos?

            Sincerely,

            Marty McFly

  3. Jolyon Smith
    Paris Hilton

    YAWNING CAUSES BLINDNESS !!

    "Exfoliation Glaucoma" : I can't help but wonder if tired people drink more coffee than regular folks and also... rub their eyes more.

    File under: "Correlation is not causation"

    Paris because.. rubbing etc.

    1. Ginger

      Re: YAWNING CAUSES BLINDNESS !!

      http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/digital-living/7774779/The-Internet-blowhards-favourite-phrase

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Scientific standards...

    "[We took a whole bunch of data and found two variables that appear to correlate.

    ZOMG COFFEE WILL MAKE YOU GO BLIND!

    ...even though we have no idea why the two would even be related, and that the correlation could have been spurious.]"

  5. James O'Shea
    Boffin

    In other news

    OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER. Yes, really. Each and every person, indeed each and every animal, who has ever had any cancer of any kind whatsoever has been addicted to the evil chemical O2. All of them. No exceptions. Some get their fix in gaseous form, some get it dissolved in liquid, all animals, all of them, who have ever had any cancer whatsoever have been addicted to oxygen. The use of this dangerous chemical must be stamped out, with immediate effect. Will no one think of the children?

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: In other news

      It has also been pointed out that oxygen is a major "gateway" drug, since all addicts started out breathing it, and no one that has refused to use oxygen has ever been addicted to drugs.

    2. Archimedes_Circle
      Childcatcher

      Re: In other news

      Please, that's nothing. Oxygem is no addictive that going cold turkey kills you in minutes.

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: In other news

        When folks die they also suffer from their heart stopping - apparently it happens in 100% of all deaths.

        "Life? it's wasted on the living"

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: In other news

          "Life? Don't talk to me about life!"

          (AC because Marvin wishes he were anonymous)

      2. Psyx
        Pint

        Re: In other news

        Nasty stuff, Oxygen. Pure O2 at 1.4+ Atmospheres is toxic.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In other news

      "OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER" - So, what your saying is:

      Oxygen = Cancer

      Global Warming = Higher CO2 levels

      Higher CO2 levels = Lower oxygen levels by volume

      Therefore:

      Global Warming = Cure for cancer(?)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WHO SAID THAT !?!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Him! ---->

    2. Isendel Steel

      Who said that ?

      Zaphod Beeblebrox (the 3rd) from the afterlife.

    3. Ted Treen
      Facepalm

      Probably...

      ...the same curmudgeon (i.e. me) who, upon reaching 60, has been heard to mutter "Youth is wasted on the young!"

  7. lambda_beta
    Linux

    Water causes drowning

    Researchers have found a correlation between water and drowning. According to the study, the number of drownings increases substantially when water was in the immediate area of the victim. A health warning is forthcoming.

    1. Ralph B
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Water causes drowning

      Current allegations suggest that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may be conspiring to cover up the whole Dihydrogen Monoxide issue.

      1. edge_e

        Re: Water causes drowning

        That's the funniest website I've seen for years

  8. William Boyle
    Happy

    My eyes! My eyes!

    No wonder my eyesight is so bad! ... Oh, never mind, they have been myopic since I was 7, well before I started drinking coffee! :-)

  9. Steen Hive
    Coat

    Being a rampant coffee addict

    I was going to take on board the information in this article, then I found my eyesight was too bad to read it.

    1. Grikath
      Pint

      Re: Being a rampant coffee addict

      My eyesight has not deteriorated so far to fail to notice the concept of "caffeïnated coffee" in the very first paragraphs of the article.

      At which point I gave up reading, and proceeded to write my own paper titled "the adverse effects of ethanolated beer on human coordination" so I can submit it to a major science outlet near you Soon(tm).

      1. Hieronymus Howerd

        Re: Being a rampant coffee addict

        Hardly classy to criticise the English skills of a non-native speaker.

  10. Tinker Tailor Soldier
    Facepalm

    No statistically significant means not significant....

    You forced me to read this to the end out of sensationalism? Editors, please ban this author, this was waste of everyone's time.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      This is the Register ...

      ... so you should expect link bait.

      Rather than editors having to decide about banning authors, I would much prefer the author's name next to the link bait on the home page. That way commentards can make their own decisions.

  11. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge
    Coat

    correlation is not causation

    "correlation is not causation, as we all know from our college classes "

    So you believe that knowing that is correlated with having attended college classes ?

  12. Jtom

    Oh, man. More garbage. Do you know how they do these studies? They start with a mega-study that in reality is just a survey. They ask hundreds of questions, like how many cups of coffee a day do you drink, how many times to you go to the toilet, what health problems do you have, do you eat wheat, and on and on. The 'subjects' self-report - their answers usually only approximate the reality (quick, now, how many cups of coffee a day did you have last week?). Then they do correlations: Look here, Joe, of the people who did x suffered y 10% more often than those who didn't do x. When you have a large questionnaire you can find many things that seem to correlate.

    The problem with that is in any random sampling you have NOISE. Just statistical quirks that mean nothing. Chances are far greater that some 'x' will either be better or worse than 'not x' than 'x' and 'not x' being exactly the same. And every time you find such a variation, you are guaranteed a publishable paper and perhaps make the news.

    Just please don't call it science.

    The science comes after this first phase, when you look at specific anomalies to find out if there's anything really going on, and if so, why and how.

  13. John Latham
    Thumb Down

    "These two studies have yielded literally thousands of articles, almost all of little value."

    Make that thousands and one.

  14. Andy 70

    so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

    is a quad-shot americano (four espressos topped up with water) a cup? certainly fits in one...

    used to do 4 -5 of these a day. is that bad?

    and man the headache's on the weekend! unreal! only when i cleared my first litre of filtered in the morning that they would go away. - reminds me. need to defrost the bacon for tomorrow morning...

    1. eurobloke

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      That isn't a cup of coffee, that is the gateway to Satan's main juice which is a latte.

      It is either espresso or filter, why make a coffee that just taste of hot water.

      1. James Micallef Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

        In the US and Canada, 'cup' sizes are more like children's seaside buckets. Who the hell drink cofee in pints??

        Since what's important is the concentration, not just the size, the correct measure for coffee consumption is 'shots of espresso', although that sounds a bit boring. We need a standard El Reg unit for cofee consumption!

        1. Swarthy
          Boffin

          Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

          I propose the "jolt " as the standard measure of coffee. 1 jolt would be the quantity of coffee that contains 150mg of caffeine. 12oz (355ml) of drip-brew (filter) coffee or 2 shots of espresso.

          A similar measure would be the "belt" as a measure of alcohol, 1 belt being equivalent to 1 pint (450ml) beer, or a shot of 80 proof.

        2. Rukario
          Pint

          Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

          A pint (20 ounces) is the size of the Tim Hortons Large cup. (The Extra Large is 24. Mmmm... Tim Hortons double double.)

          1. Martin Huizing

            Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

            Obligatory Croc Undie reference...

            'That ain't a cup of coffee!... THIS is a cup of coffee!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      Have one of these <- you strike me as the type who enjoys one or two.

      Keep on keeping on

    3. bitmap animal
      Thumb Up

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      Absolutely - what is one cup, four shots of high caffeine 'devils brew' or a xxxxbucks Latte?

      A few years ago I was drinking 20-30 shots a day, made up as 4-5 shot Americanos as they are called these days. When I decided to have a break I was fine for a couple of days and started to get blasé about those saying I'd have nasty withdrawal symptoms.

      About 3 days after I stopped I spent a day in bed with horrendous flu like symptoms - then I was fine.

  15. Charles 9

    Hey, you gotta start somewhere.

    Don't knock the article for what is: an observation leading to a hypothesis. Specifically, the statement they'll want to test next is, "Drinking more than three cups of coffee per day results in increase shedding of lens and iris material." I'm only taking the article at face value and won't give it much thought until I hear the results of a follow-up experiment to determine a causal relationship.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So much stupid for some study.

  17. foo_bar_baz
    Facepalm

    Subtlety

    The article specifically says there's a heightened risk, IF you are already genetically disposed to developing glaucoma. It does not say X cups/day -> blindness as per the Reg headline.

    A statistical study is one way to disprove a hypothesis (coffee & exfoliation glaucoma). The results of this one certainly don't disprove it, just offer tentative support.

    The purpose of a paper like this is not to inform your coffee drinking decisions or government policy. It's to let other researchers know the results of your studies, point toward a possible result and direct further studies. If you're demanding for iron clad results in every scientific study, you're not going get many done. Science doesn't progress how a layman would like, it's often slow and leads to dead ends. Deal with it.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: Subtlety

      The purpose of most papers is simply for the author to keep tenure. Many universities you have to publish, the quality of your research, lecturing, tutorials, lab sessions etc isn't measured. Just the number of times you get published and better still getting cited.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Drinking a big mug of coffee whilst reading this.

    And I'll have at least another 4 or 5 before I go home.

    And my mum has glaucoma.

    Thanks for brightening up my friday >:(

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Give me my drugs or I will kill you.

    Back to my 50 cup of coffee a day habit.

  20. MJI Silver badge
    Pint

    I hate coffee

    Never liked it, hate the smell, never understood why people like it.

    Normally drink decaf tea - caffeine makes me feel het up.

    What will that do for my eyesight?

    Luckily a drink I like is available in the next building to our office building.

    It is just after 10 and I feel like a pint.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: I hate coffee

      I forgot to say, and they are not yet open.

      At least 8 near work selling decent stuff - my dinner time task is to test them.

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.