Hmm, last time I tried to give up coffee I noticed blurred vision then loss of sight. I eventually realised it was because my eyes had closed. Brewed myself a coffee and I was cured. Coffee CURES blindness.
Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND
According to a new study, drinking more than three cups of coffee per day has been shown to correlate with an increased risk of developing glaucoma, which can lead to vision loss or blindness. "While caffeinated coffee has several health benefits," lead researcher Jae Hee Kang told Health magazine, "drinking three or more cups …
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Friday 5th October 2012 01:10 GMT James O'Shea
In other news
OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER. Yes, really. Each and every person, indeed each and every animal, who has ever had any cancer of any kind whatsoever has been addicted to the evil chemical O2. All of them. No exceptions. Some get their fix in gaseous form, some get it dissolved in liquid, all animals, all of them, who have ever had any cancer whatsoever have been addicted to oxygen. The use of this dangerous chemical must be stamped out, with immediate effect. Will no one think of the children?
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Friday 5th October 2012 07:52 GMT Ralph B
Re: Water causes drowning
Current allegations suggest that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may be conspiring to cover up the whole Dihydrogen Monoxide issue.
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Friday 5th October 2012 10:52 GMT Grikath
Re: Being a rampant coffee addict
My eyesight has not deteriorated so far to fail to notice the concept of "caffeïnated coffee" in the very first paragraphs of the article.
At which point I gave up reading, and proceeded to write my own paper titled "the adverse effects of ethanolated beer on human coordination" so I can submit it to a major science outlet near you Soon(tm).
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Friday 5th October 2012 04:58 GMT Jtom
Oh, man. More garbage. Do you know how they do these studies? They start with a mega-study that in reality is just a survey. They ask hundreds of questions, like how many cups of coffee a day do you drink, how many times to you go to the toilet, what health problems do you have, do you eat wheat, and on and on. The 'subjects' self-report - their answers usually only approximate the reality (quick, now, how many cups of coffee a day did you have last week?). Then they do correlations: Look here, Joe, of the people who did x suffered y 10% more often than those who didn't do x. When you have a large questionnaire you can find many things that seem to correlate.
The problem with that is in any random sampling you have NOISE. Just statistical quirks that mean nothing. Chances are far greater that some 'x' will either be better or worse than 'not x' than 'x' and 'not x' being exactly the same. And every time you find such a variation, you are guaranteed a publishable paper and perhaps make the news.
Just please don't call it science.
The science comes after this first phase, when you look at specific anomalies to find out if there's anything really going on, and if so, why and how.
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Friday 5th October 2012 06:37 GMT Andy 70
so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
is a quad-shot americano (four espressos topped up with water) a cup? certainly fits in one...
used to do 4 -5 of these a day. is that bad?
and man the headache's on the weekend! unreal! only when i cleared my first litre of filtered in the morning that they would go away. - reminds me. need to defrost the bacon for tomorrow morning...
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:42 GMT James Micallef
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
In the US and Canada, 'cup' sizes are more like children's seaside buckets. Who the hell drink cofee in pints??
Since what's important is the concentration, not just the size, the correct measure for coffee consumption is 'shots of espresso', although that sounds a bit boring. We need a standard El Reg unit for cofee consumption!
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Friday 5th October 2012 14:38 GMT Swarthy
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
I propose the "jolt " as the standard measure of coffee. 1 jolt would be the quantity of coffee that contains 150mg of caffeine. 12oz (355ml) of drip-brew (filter) coffee or 2 shots of espresso.
A similar measure would be the "belt" as a measure of alcohol, 1 belt being equivalent to 1 pint (450ml) beer, or a shot of 80 proof.
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:22 GMT bitmap animal
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
Absolutely - what is one cup, four shots of high caffeine 'devils brew' or a xxxxbucks Latte?
A few years ago I was drinking 20-30 shots a day, made up as 4-5 shot Americanos as they are called these days. When I decided to have a break I was fine for a couple of days and started to get blasé about those saying I'd have nasty withdrawal symptoms.
About 3 days after I stopped I spent a day in bed with horrendous flu like symptoms - then I was fine.
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Friday 5th October 2012 06:47 GMT Charles 9
Hey, you gotta start somewhere.
Don't knock the article for what is: an observation leading to a hypothesis. Specifically, the statement they'll want to test next is, "Drinking more than three cups of coffee per day results in increase shedding of lens and iris material." I'm only taking the article at face value and won't give it much thought until I hear the results of a follow-up experiment to determine a causal relationship.
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Friday 5th October 2012 07:07 GMT foo_bar_baz
Subtlety
The article specifically says there's a heightened risk, IF you are already genetically disposed to developing glaucoma. It does not say X cups/day -> blindness as per the Reg headline.
A statistical study is one way to disprove a hypothesis (coffee & exfoliation glaucoma). The results of this one certainly don't disprove it, just offer tentative support.
The purpose of a paper like this is not to inform your coffee drinking decisions or government policy. It's to let other researchers know the results of your studies, point toward a possible result and direct further studies. If you're demanding for iron clad results in every scientific study, you're not going get many done. Science doesn't progress how a layman would like, it's often slow and leads to dead ends. Deal with it.
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:16 GMT MJI
I hate coffee
Never liked it, hate the smell, never understood why people like it.
Normally drink decaf tea - caffeine makes me feel het up.
What will that do for my eyesight?
Luckily a drink I like is available in the next building to our office building.
It is just after 10 and I feel like a pint.