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back to article Last remaining reason to order an iPhone 5 disappears

OK, so it's well known that buying an iPhone 5 is a foolish decision if you want a fully-featured smartphone with any useful new technology in it (the new Apple phone isn't one, and doesn't have any). Also Steve Jobs actually died as the last one came out, so his followers would in many ways be disrespecting his memory by …

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Yet more iPhone linkbait

Enought already.

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Thumb Up

Re: Yet more iPhone linkbait

... oh no, an article that spawns so much eloquence (frigid, crap, "for fuck sake", "steaming pile of shite", a-hole, "a cesspool of unsubstantiated bull") sure was worth be written ...

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Pint

Re: Yet more iPhone linkbait

linkbait haha

Well, he definitely nailed most people's reason for buying Crapple's crippled phones

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Stop

Sigh

I'm all for amusing articles about phones from all makers, but what a load of shite this one was. Whether you are an apple fan or not surely all agree that this was worse than a non story.

I know that anything with iPhone in the title is click bait and filling said article with deliberately provocative tripe will get the comments rolling in and hopefully someone might click on an ad or two, but for fuck sake please stop this crap. The Register used to be witty, critical and an often unmissable lunch hour read. Now, and especially in the last few months, it's worse than your average gossip mag. I need a new source of intelligent, critical and witty IT news...

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Stop

Re: Sigh

Let's agree to downvote these articles and move on; we can stop giving them even the negative attention of complaining about them on the comments.

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a load of shite

A particularly offensive, steaming pile of shite.

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WTF?

Re: Sigh

You know what, you're right! i'm as much of an Apple hater as you'll ever see and love it when they're torn another a-hole, but up untill now it's always been reasonably fair and balanced and most of it based on facts. This story however was bitter and offensive from the start.

C'mon writers, you can do much, much better then this.

That is however not to say that it didn't make me chuckle.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: a load of shite

> A particularly offensive, steaming pile of shite.

How's that new iPhone 5 working out for you?

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Re: Sigh

I agree whole heartily......the Reg has become a cesspool of unsubstantiated bull and ill thought out "stories". They have fallen far indeed.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sigh

Great article, love it :)

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Go

Re: Sigh

... try http://www.apple.com/hotnews/ ...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Sigh

> Let's agree to downvote these articles and move on; we can stop giving them even the negative attention of complaining about them on the comments.

I concur. Wholeheartedly. I'm not even going to reply to say so.

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Re: Sigh

I got an iPhone 5 on launch day and was showing off in the Indian Takeaway that night - just as the article says!! My last iPhone was a 3G that stopped working eventually and I have been 2 years without one so I had good reason to get one. When I talk to 4S owners wanting to upgrade I ask why? "Because it's new" is the reply.

I found the article both accurate and humorous. I'm starting to wonder if Lewis was in my take away on Friday and is writing about me.

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FAIL

Re: Sigh

I've been reading the Reg for over a decade, but I had to make an account just to upvote this. I understand (sort of) that this article - like so many on the Reg - was intended as tongue-in-cheek, but really it just comes off as pointless, the only people it appears to be ostensibly aimed at are those who buy the iPhone because it's the "coolest" phone... of which there are admittedly loads, but never in my life did I think that The Reg would be posting articles that supposedly pander to this brainless section of the market. I read the Reg because I'm fairly well informed on matters of technology, and I know what I want. And this sort of crap, is crap.

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IT Angle

Re: Sigh

Strip away the sarcasm and the story was that there were shipping delays in certain regions.

Come on Auntie Reg... Which regions? How long? Etc...

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Anonymous Coward

"I need a new source of intelligent, critical and witty IT news..."

Try Ars Technica, less of the leery beery Daily Mail laddishness, and deeper/broader coverage of more areas of sci/tech- though less good for parochial box shifter news (which can be found elsewhere, if you want it).

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WTF?

Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

What is this crap?

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Unhappy

Re: Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

One day I'll also review my spelling in the friggin' title as well as the body.

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Happy

Re: Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

>>What is this crap?

I suspect that the crap is from "Buting" the phone, I hope you used lubricant.

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Paris Hilton

Ha ha ha.

Breathe slowly and deeply and keep reciting, "It's just a phone, it's just a phone."

I used to be able to get excited about new technology, but successive gaming PCs have taught me this is folly. You are never ahead of the curve. And there are far more important things in life.

Has Paris Hilton got hers yet? Fnarr fnarr.

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Trollface

Is this a reaction?

To the pounding The Reg took for their overlay sugar sweet review of the iPhone 5 that now they're going to diss it at any opportunity? This is worse than some of the stuff the Droid Trolls post.

Odd how your own reviewer seemed to think it was worth buying, nothing like consistency huh?

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Re: Is this a reaction?

Or maybe, just maybe, Lewis lives under a bridge, and is scared of goats.

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Trollface

Re: Is this a reaction?

I'm scared of goatse, too...

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Re: Is this a reaction?

Hate to tell you this, but people have different opinions. It might be the reviewer is the only one in the office who think's it's worth buying, hell Lewis could be the only one that doesn't.

This article was obvious clickbait, but one of the things I do like about El Reg is there's generally no 'Corporate line'. It's OK for one hack to love the iPhone and one not to. Do you really think media is made better when hacks are made to toe the corporate line (for example, The Sun is considered pro-Tory, so expect no real negative press regarding them)?

The issue, really, is the number of article's we're seeing that appear to be designed to attract clicks. Not readers, clicks and impressions. That sucks.

I'll generally read every comment posted when I read a story (bit obsessive like that), but the number of stories where the comments are of far more value than the piece itself is growing worryingly high. Sadly it's not all down to commentards posting some real gems, sometimes the 'story' is just pure shite.

A little while ago I removed my ad-blocker as most sites I was visiting had started being far more subtle. The Reg in particular is really beginning to make me regret that decision though, so I suspect any impressions/clicks I might have generated will be disappearing shortly as I'm going to have to re-enable ABP etc.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Re: Is this a reaction?

"the number of stories where the comments are of far more value than the piece itself is growing worryingly high"

I think there's some sort of skew involved here. Here are my own quick thoughts on it.

An article that everyone agrees with sadly generates little comment and people move on. It may be hard to add more value. No one remembers the comments on those.

Articles that spark debate and polarise readers generate a lot of comments, as expected, and if you disagree with the writer then you're bound to find someone in the forum who agrees with your PoV - so suddenly comments "with more value" appear on your personal radar.

Finally, all our writers are working as fast as possible to file their thoughts and findings in a timely manner before a story dies out. They may accidentally miss something or for whatever reason neglect to make a particular point. Hours after someone made the decision to hit 'publish', a thought may occur to someone reading the article and they post a comment. Value is added in the aftermath.

Generally speaking, referring to nothing in particular, terms and conditions apply, your mileage may vary, etc.

C.

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Stop

Re: Is this a reaction?

but it was just a rant not an article. The "reviewer" instantly assumed iphone owners had slavishly upgraded everytime. Perhaps (you know) someone didnt bother upgrading to a 4(s). Or maybe they dont have an iphone at all and want to get one. Sure deals can be had for lesser models but I wouldnt want to tell people to go and get a galaxy S2 over an S3, same with most tech.

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Re: Is this a reaction?

There will always be some skew, it's true. I don't generally rate the quality of comments based on whether they agree with my PoV though. Someone who makes solid points (even if I think they're wrong) counts as quality, as do those who make me spray coffee over my keyboard.

What I mean, is that I'm finding there are more and more stories published where I'm finding the comments far more interesting than the article to which they are attached. El Reg still does some great stuff, but it's beginning to get quite heavily diluted with some low quality drivel.

There's a definite skew in that a really polarising debate will draw me in, as you observe, but I do remember a time when there were decent comments on 99% of articles, largely because the quality of those articles inspired people to comment.

As an example, let's take Mr Pott. He tends to delve quite deeply into a subject, which tends to make people comment to say "Actually, you're wrong about that bit" or "Bloody hell, hadn't thought about it that way" or even "Feck, haven't seen one of those in years". Articles that actually make people think, or perhaps give them a hint of nostalgia.

Unfortunately, a lot of the content is starting to look like click-bait, or in some cases something El Reg is hoping to syndicate out to a less technically minded audience. There have been a number of stories in the past that feel the need to explain small details that surely everyone here knew.

I appreciate that writers have deadlines to keep to, and the pressure is high, but IMO El Reg is perhaps publishing less than it has in the past, yet the quality is slipping dramatically. Is it a case of can't get the staff perhaps?

Still, I'm not going to wander off just yet. Although the quality of the articles is abysmal in some cases, I do find the insights of other commentards can be quite enlightening from time to time, and there are occasionally some very good stories published.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Re: Is this a reaction?

"There have been a number of stories in the past that feel the need to explain small details that surely everyone here knew."

There lies the agonising balance between explaining too much and alienating very techy readers and filling an article with jargon and driving everyone else away. It's really, really difficult to do.

Obviously with a story about, say, an IE exploit, you know programmers will read it so you can get down to the nitty-gritty. Really depends on the story. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with expanding the readerbase. How else will we pay the bills?

Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece.

C.

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Re: Is this a reaction?

"Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece."

I had a quick tot up earlier and, including the Woz article, there were nine stories on the front page – two of which (the Woz one and this Lewis article, which I did find amusing) were also positioned on the right of the front page and in the top stories section. If you do publish 40-45 stories per day, then that’s 20% to just shy of 25% of today’s output.

I don’t expect to love every piece – I know that from reading El Reg (and have the T-shirt, got the book… well, a couple of TBOFH ones) for ten years, but there’s fatigue setting in from so many iPhone and Apple stories – not just here but every blinking site.

If the number of such stories wasn’t bad enough, it’s the content provided so many outlets – very little analysis or real news is offered. One outlet will report what another outlet said. Still, the headline will draw hits and readers will post with passion.

I got into El Reg because I liked the irrelevant style, but there was opinion and news that wasn’t so easy to come by elsewhere – it might be me looking through rose-tinted spectacles, but I don’t get that so much these days.

Speaking as an ex-hack, I don’t envy the El Reg team having to produce so many stories – but sometimes there’s a case for less being more.

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Re: Is this a reaction?

Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece.

Perhaps then, I'm mistaken. I tend to work backwards from the front-page until I find a story I've previously visited (obviously ignoring visited links if I've opened it from the featured section 30 seconds earlier) or until I see a headline I recognise. Of course, as the front-page is no longer strictly chronological (we've all noticed certain articles being moved back up ;) ) it may be that I've been missing a bulk.

Obviously with a story about, say, an IE exploit, you know programmers will read it so you can get down to the nitty-gritty. Really depends on the story. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with expanding the readerbase. How else will we pay the bills?

I've no issue with you expanding your readerbase, but as you say there's a (difficult) balance to be struck. If you post too many simplistic articles, those of us after a serious technical read will wander off. If you make it too complex, those less technically inclined will wander off. I don't envy the task of striking that balance, but my issue is it currently seems to be tipping more towards the less technically minded in many respects.

I love when the Reg gets satirical, and will find most things amusing (or at least see the humor), but there have been a few whether I've failed to see any humor and yet there's no indication of any other value in the article.

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Meh

Re: Is this a reaction?

Not every new article is posted on the homepage - look at the various 'category landing pages', there's many more articles appearing there.

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Re: Is this a reaction?

Ah, sneaky El Reg - hiding things!

Good chance I'll never see some of those then as I tend to take a quick scan of the homepage whilst waiting for something, then read through my assortment of tabs when I get a chance. Doubt I'll find the time to scan the other landing pages to, but it does rather answer the question of "where's the content gone?"

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Anonymous Coward

@ Ben Tasker

"I am going to town"

"I am an idiot *TOO*"

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Childcatcher

Re: Is this a reaction?

Er that's the whole point of the article - to stir the broth. I've no interest in smart phones period over expensive short term junk which cannot be repaired or enhanced. Fools rush in where fools have been before is very apt here.

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Terrible article is terrible

I want my 2 minutes back. Seriously Reg what was the point in this?

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Re: Terrible article is terrible

Perhaps, if looked at side on, it might make someone think of a teeny tiny aircraft carrier with no planes on it...

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Flame

Annoy Apple fans - Check

Mention a dead Jobs - Check

Comment on iOS6 maps - Check

Reference similarity to previous iPhone - Check

My prediction is the post count reaching over 100 in about 2 hours. Enjoy!

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Trollface

Anyway

Apple are shit

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Anyway

Maybe, but are they plural?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Anyway

"Re: Anyway

Maybe, but are they plural?"

or not?

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That is more like it, but...

more mud at Apple please and less at the owners. They are suffering already, whether they know it or not :p

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Anonymous Coward

But el reg was spraying jism everywhere in your iPhone review.

What happened? Morning after regrets?

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Happy

Re: But el reg was spraying jism everywhere in your iPhone review.

"What happened? "

Wanker's remorse.

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What delay?

Ordered from Three on Wednesday, delivered on Friday? Maybe you should stick to BAE bashing Lewis, it's what you're best at.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What delay?

Does buying an iPhone take away your ability to read (along with all your other critical functions)?

As Lewis said,

"Exceptions to this exist - readers tell us that in some towns and cities one need not queue for days nor order online to get hold of the latest Jesus Mobe (typically the best move is to head for a cell-operator or other reseller retail outlet, as opposed to an Apple Store)".

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Holmes

Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?

This article is a complete waste of space.

It is just a phone that has good and bad points. Just like any Android, Symbian or windows device.

Get over it.

On second thoughts, if we send him to Lewis there might be a sudden migration to the mainland.

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Silver badge

Re: Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?

No.

I visit Lewis (and Harris) quite often.

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Re: Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?

Could send him to Rockall maybe.

As the saying goes: "There's f**k all on Rockall"

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Mushroom

HAHAHAHA! Waiting for the fanbois to go booooom!

That is all :)

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WTF?

Oh come on you lot

Simple trick, look at the author, if it's Lewis you know it's going to be flamebait, that's what he writes.

See his name, skip the article.

Simples!!!

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