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back to article Christian footie match ends in almighty brawl

Five footballers from the West Midlands Christian League are heading for some serious time in the sin bin after a match last weekend degenerated into a "brutal brawl". Common Ground United and Zion Athletic met on Saturday in West Bromwich to engage in what was supposed to be "friendly competition whilst upholding Christian …

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Meh

Of course

It must have been the non-Christians.

Obviously.

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To the fighting 'non-christians'

Allah Akbah my friends!

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Re: To the fighting 'non-christians'

Now I'm going to blow myself up.

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Re: Of course

"It must have been the non-Christians."

Of course, no Christian has ever been involved in any act of violence.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Of course

Inshallah...

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Silver badge

Re: Of course

Indeed... No religious people ever caused violence.

May the footballers had seen the news that Jesus had a wife and found it so inflammatory they decided to kick off in a completely unrelated location?

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Anonymous Coward

Severely LMAO at this

You couldn't make this up. The comment about 'non-Christians' probably being the root cause of this makes it even more of a classic.

He's probably right though, the only thing us atheists want to do is just fight each other over principles....

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Mushroom

Re: Severely LMAO at this

He might be right. After all, if I were exposed to the average Christian trying to style himself a particular flavor of an unrelated label that just makes no sense, e.g.: "Christian footballer" [sic] - why, then, yes, I too may be tempted to punch someone in the face.

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Re: Severely LMAO at this

From memory, I think Jermaine Defoe styles himself as a Christian footballer.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Severely LMAO at this

You mean like Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao, Enver Hoxha and the builders of the Berlin Wall?

Perhaps. Those people make the Crusades and the Inquisition look like a game of slaps.

Then you've got all those who might not be declared atheists, but behave as if there is no God to judge them. Those might be in Church one day and running the crusades the next, or declaring that we really do need to invade Iraq to look for WMDs, or suggesting that really, the widows and orphans should have made better investment choices if they really wanted proper healthcare.

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Devil

Re: Severely LMAO at this

I'm too busy eating babies to fight over principles.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Severely LMAO at this

"You mean like Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao, Enver Hoxha and the builders of the Berlin Wall?"

I notice Adolf Hitler is conspicuously missing from your list -- wonder why?

Also you forgot to mention the top ten biggest philanthropists in history, and whether they were atheists or not -- wonder why?

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Mushroom

Re: Severely LMAO at this

..."behave as if there is no God to judge them"

I behave as if there's no God to judge me. Because there isn't.

So you are only prevented from the litany of crimes you are itching to commit, because you are worried that an imaginary sky fairy is going to send you to his evil ex angel when the electrons quit running around those cells in your head? Moron.

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Happy

Re: Severely LMAO at this

Well, Adolph was not only a Christian, he was Catholic to boot! They really don't like to be reminded of this.

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Joke

Re: Severely LMAO at this

Meh. Christians aren't perfect, only forgiven.

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Meh

Re: Severely LMAO at this

"Well, Adolph was not only a Christian, he was Catholic to boot! They really don't like to be reminded of this."

He was born and raised Catholic, but not a practising one, nor claimed to be. Big difference. In fact he pretty much deliberately twisted and corrupted Christian beliefs.

Plenty of practising Catholics have been mass-murdering fuck-heads too, but I don't think it's at all logical or very viable to tease Catholics with "Hitler was Catholic [by accident of birth] too".

If you really want to insult other people's personal beliefs, there's plenty of better ammunition than that to choose from.

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Holmes

Christian beliefs and ideals

That'd be irrationally held convictions, mild insanity, hostility toward reason, a bit of sexual repression, and a lot of violence, then.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Christian beliefs and ideals

> That'd be irrationally held convictions, mild insanity, hostility toward reason, a bit of sexual repression, and a lot of violence, then.

Is it logically possible for an atheist to hold moral convictions? Surely its all just pragmatism or its irrational?

Mild insanity? Now that's just name calling!

Hostility to reason? Rubbish. Christians merely suggest that we don't know everything and we may have made mistakes in some things.

Sexual repression? Have you read the NT? You do know that Paul says that you you must not deprive your spouse of sex, except for important reasons and only if it is only for a short amount of time, right?

Love of violence? If someone says, "I support Liverpool," while wearing Man U colours and cheering for Man U against Liverpool, is he a Liverpool supporter?

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Meh

Re: Christian beliefs and ideals

badmonkey: don't forget a penchant for shifting paedophile priests from one parish to another so the law doesn't catch up with them

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Re: Christian beliefs and ideals

"Is it logically possible for an atheist to hold moral convictions?"

I can see why you're staying anonymous, I'd be ashamed to spout such crap as well.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Christian beliefs and ideals

"Christians merely suggest that we don't know everything and [so fill in the gaps with fairy tales]."

There, fixed it for you.

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@Burch

I am an atheist, yet I have moral convictions. Just because I don't believe in the existence of some supreme being who created everything (I believe something exploded billions of years ago and everything since is a direct result of that) doesn't mean I don't have moral values and try to be the best person I can.

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Ahahahaha. "An influx of non-Christians into teams may be to blame". What a holier-than-thou fuckwit.

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Who's the ba****d in the black?

The Catholics?

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Joke

Re: Who's the ba****d in the black?

NO, he's an Amish

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Stop

Re: Amish

micheal you clearly know nothing: the Amish aren't allowed to play football as the ball is heretically spherical and may lead those of the faith to the hellish idea that the world is not flat!

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Stop

Re: Amish

"may lead those of the faith to the hellish idea that the world is not flat!"

Where did you get the idea that Christians thought the world was flat?

Centre of the solar system / universe: Yes. Flat: No.

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Anonymous Coward

Christian football...

the boot of all evil !

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Re: Christian football...

A well judged check of the anonymous box there...

Don't worry, we'll find you... One day...

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Anonymous Coward

Religion? Your arse! When it comes down to it, we're all only one step down from the trees and pure animal at heart!

"We're just monkey's with technology, barely out of the caves and the trees." - New Model Army

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we're all only one step down from the trees

speak for yourself, earthling.

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Happy

Re: we're all only one step down from the trees

What have I told you about annoying your toys, Jesus?

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Anonymous Coward

You and me, baby

Ain't nothing but mammals.

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Anonymous Coward

Err?

New Model Army aren't really a good band to quote, I like them, but they do have a tenancy to veer off into anti science drivel.

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Angel

Say what ?

How on earth in a city the size of Birmingham can you not find enough christians who want to play for a christian team and have to take in non christians....

This is pathetic, and really sets a great standard where christian football teams are worst behaved than the beer swilling pub team friends.

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Bronze badge

Re: Say what ?

"How on earth in a city the size of Birmingham can you not find enough christians who want to play for a christian team and have to take in non christians"

Because Christianity in the UK is about as relevant as Netscape Navigator.

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Silver badge

Re: Say what ?

And yet we still have 26 bishops of the Church of England sitting in the House of Lords.

Democracy in action... /sarcasm

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Say what ?

When did the UK become a democracy?

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Boffin

Re: Say what ?

"Because Christianity in the UK is about as relevant as Netscape Navigator."

Nah: Like it and agree with it or not, but Christianity is enormously relevant, still.

Look at where the majority of people celebrate major points in life: Birth, Marriage, Death.

Look at what days the majority of people get given as holidays.

Remember what some of the religiously inspired comments you've uttered after car crashes and other major shocks, that are so drilled in as to have become instinctual.

Examine the moral code that is taught to us in schools and at home.

Christian *dogma* might be irrelevant in our society and ignored by most of us, but the Christianity is still massively influential in our lives, albeit in a behind-the-scenes kind of way.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Say what ?

Christianity shaped our culture for a very long time and so it should be no surprise that we still have cultural traditions which have a Christian history. That doesn't mean Christianity is still relevant to most in the UK.

Many people let off fireworks on the 5th of November but have no particular hatred for Catholics or strong love of the monarchy. Just as many people exchange gifts on the 25th of December but care little about the birth of some middle eastern Jew, 2000 years ago.

If you could move the entire Easter holiday to the start of July you'd get complaints about ruining people's plans, complaints about breaking with hundreds of years of tradition. You wouldn't get many complaints about the holiday no longer being a celebration of Jesus' resurrection. You'd probably get quite a few people pleased that they had more time off during the summer.

A lot of your points are just untrue though.

Most people in the UK are neither christened or baptised. Most people have secular marriages.

Just because somebody says "God damn" does not mean they believe in a deity and are requesting it's wrath be brought down upon somebody.

The moral code that we're taught in schools is not specifically Christian (as evidenced by all those non Christian countries throughout the world that don't advocate theft, rape and murder to their populations).

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Plenty of Churches use a church affiliated football team as a method of outreach to people outside the church. I wouldn't necessarily assume it's the head of the choir or the organist battering the opposition.

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Devil

It helps to have some support though doesn't it?

Plenty of Churches used a church-loyal cadre of knights as a method of expansion and conversion of people outside the church. I wouldn't necessarily assume it's Pedo Priest or Him With the Pointy Hat battering the enemy. Either.

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Re: It helps to have some support though doesn't it?

I'm not sure what you're getting at. It makes a chucklesome story to think that a bunch of Churchy limp wristed types got into a punch up but the likelihood is it wasn't some bunch of Churchy limp wristed types.

Unless they've changed things since I played in a similar team 20 odd years ago of course.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It helps to have some support though doesn't it? @Alex Walsh

>likelihood is it wasn't some bunch of Churchy limp wristed types.

Why "Churchy"? All football players are limp wristed types. First thing they do when the turn pro is make up some silly dance they have to go through when they score a goal, a sort of pre-courtship ritual as an invitation for their teammates to jump on and kiss them and then each other.

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Coffee/keyboard

Thanks Lester...

Time for a new Keyboard.

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An influx?

Why is there an influx of non-christians into the clubs? Are they fielding ringers?

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Windows

Re: An influx?

"Thou shalt not covet thy mate's non-Christian mate for thine football club, no matter how good a leftback he is."

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Trollface

Re: An influx?

Funny you should mention that - I've always thought most footballers looked like Quasimodo.

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Bronze badge

Re: An influx?

“You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like he rushed it.”

-- Bill Hicks

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Devil

Delusional beliefs?

Like England can win a major tournament

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