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back to article iPhone 5 has 'laser keyboard, holographic images'

US television station Fox 5 New York has aired a report in which it claims the iPhone 5 comes equipped with a laser keyboard and holographic projector. The claims appear in a news report, since posted to YouTube, in which reporter Lidia Curanaj meets fanbois queueing outside a New York Apple store. That part of the segment goes …

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Meh

If true...

..which I doubt, it would be a serious game changer.

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Anonymous Coward

If it was true then

If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......

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Re: If it was true then

"If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......"

Yes we would but since it isn't, we won't.

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Facepalm

Re: If true...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If true...

And it still wouldn't be an Apple innovation as they have been done elsewhere. Wouldn't stop Apple patenting them though with the magic words....on a phone

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Trollface

Re: If it was true then

>> If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......

If it were true, it would have already been around on Android for a year or two before Apple 'invented' it.

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Re: If it was true then

"If it were then even the fandroids would dump their Androids......"

This Android user wouldn't.

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Facepalm

Re: If true...

Erm, if true, you'd think they'd have mentioned it in the keynote.

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Re: If true...

'..which I doubt,' - are you ill?

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Re: If true...

It would be patented.

Probably already is.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: If true...

Honestly?

Really?

S A P! I bet you have your idiotPhone5 already.

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Re: If it was true then

True.

Android would definitely have it first.

Apple would add it 2 years later, and make it work properly and easily.

Samsung would modify the feature and make it work completely differently to the Stock Android version.

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Re: If true...

"It would be patented.

Probably already is."

Actually laser keyboards are already being made so yes patents for that are out. You can already get mobiles with microprojectors and laser keyboards.

holograms are getting there but are not quiet ready to be built into mobiles yet. They could patent it but in all likelyhood the patent would expire before the technology get small and cheap enough to build in

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Re: If true...

If true...

If what is true? That a Fox station took a fan wish list as a product description?

Surely nothing in the article even implied that the iPhone 5 has the laser keyboard or holographic display.

(Personally, I wouldn't find either feature attractive in a phone anyway. And I don't see what "game" would be changed - Apple would still be the Purveyor of Shiny, and if other manufacturers thought those features would drive significant additional sales, they'd add them too. All a big pile of dreary sameness.)

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Black Helicopters

In Fox We Trust

With Fox's backing of this standard, Mitt Romney might well win the Presidency.

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Made to make Fox look bad? So it's genuine Fox footage then...

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Very true, it takes no effort to make fox look bad, they do it for you.

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Anonymous Coward

Ahh but...

..it can't be true, they didn't mention Communist China in every other sentence.

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Trollface

hahahaha

See, Apple, people actually lust for you to put new and exiting stuff into your products. Take that as a free hint.

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FAIL

If it actually had those features I'd eat humble pie and queue to buy it as well... but since it doesn't I'll simply mock both Fox and the Fanbois sleeping out in the cold to get a phone

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Anonymous Coward

Do these people sleeping outside the stores use holiday hours or something? Isn't the release not for another 3 days?

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Ah yes, but can it make phone calls?

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Not out of the box, but there's an app for that. :-P

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Only if you hold it between the index finger of your right hand, and left big toe, to your left ear while standing next to an Apple store

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Anonymous Coward

Another surprise feature

Error #2035

Looks like Apple won't allow Google browsers to see their phones.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another surprise feature

Just face facts, chrome is crap.

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g e
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Re: Another surprise feature

You must work in marketing or something...

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Re: Another surprise feature

No Chrome is crap in many ways. It's very nice and fast but the rendering still leaves a lot to be desired and it's pretty buggy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Another surprise feature

"Just face facts, chrome is crap."

You do realise that Chrome and Safari are basically the same thing? Go lookup 'webkit'. Fanboooiiii!!

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Holmes

Re:Re: Another surprise feature

Safari renders like crap too .. or was that your point and I missed it ?

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"...someone has gone to a lot of trouble to make Fox look bad..."

It doesn't take much effort to make Fox look bad. All you have to do is turn it on and wait a few minutes.

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Meh

Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

when they turn on their little iPhone 5 and find their laser keyboard and holographic projector don't work, will take it back for 'repairs'..

That's the problem with promising the world and not delivering.

Still, there is always Samsung's Galaxy Beam with a built-in projector. That actually works. Maybe a keyboard later?

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Re: Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

just buy the galaxy beam and this laser keyboard: http://www.amazon.com/Celluon-Magic-Projection-Keyboard-Touchpad/dp/B005ES6E6W and you too can experience fox news's iphone 5 "magic"

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Re: Someone, somehwere will be broken hearted ...

Even if the phone doesn't deliver, people will *think* it does. After all, some folks were handed an iPhone 4S, told it was a 5, and talked about how much more awesome it was than their own 4S.

http://www.maximumpc.com/article/news/jimmy_kimmels_iphone_5_prank_hilariously_depressing

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Anonymous Coward

Interviewer: Thursday Why?

Interviewee: Well you know, iPhone 5 is the most amazing.. BEST Apple product everrr!

I feel sorry for him, I truly do. I hope that they would release an App to help me get along with his life!

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Holmes

He's right, it is the best Apple phone thing everrrrrr

Just not the best phone thing everrrrrr

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Reminds me of South Park

Cartman: "It does email and web browsing and s**ts in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thing ever invented."

HumanCentiPad.

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Trollface

So what?

Even the supposed-to-be-cynical El Reg falls for fake Apple stories. (E.g. The screw story)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So what?

You mean this one?

http://www.reghardware.com/2012/08/09/apple_said_to_be_redesigning_idevice_screws_again/

Which part does The Reg fall for it?

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How many americans

Are now going to go "holy shit" buy an iPhone and then attempt to sue either Apple or Fox for not delivering the laser keyboard and holographic images.

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Pint

Re: How many americans

Popcorn icon still needed!

Pint instead

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How many americans

Let's do a little calculating on the back of this envelope:

Republicans watch Fox and they constitute approximately 40% of Americans,

Of Republicans, some 50% are impoverished religious fanatics unable to afford an iPhone,

And 30% are tinfoil hat wearing paranoids unlikely to use mobile phones,

Which leaves us with (at most) 7% of the population, or about 21 million who will believe this broadcast equivalent of the Sun.

Anon because the Republicans are also gun-totin' NRA members.

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WTF?

WTF

Is there anything you will not publish if it has iPhone5 in the title?

I have an iPhone 4, I want an iPhone 5, but I do not want to read ever piece of crap about it

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WTF

yet you did..... and you even took the time to comment on the article!

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Trollface

Re: WTF

Is there anything you won't read if it has iPhone 5 in the title?

You want an iPhone 5, and will read every piece of crap published about it, but it's the Reg's fault that you're wasting your time.

Riiiiiiiiight...

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Re: WTF

yeah, good point :o

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Anonymous Coward

Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

... had they used the iPhone 5's built in Internet bullshit detector

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Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

Nice idea in principle, but seeing as this is fox news, the bullshit detector would have burn't out after one day anyway, rendering it useless.

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Childcatcher

Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

That would have been as helpful as a compass at the North Pole.

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Re: Fox would not have been caught out like this ....

I have a mental picture of people walking through the door at Fox and their phones exploding in thier pockets.

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