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back to article Apple 'hasn't really run out of iPhone 5s AT ALL'

In a revelation that seems set to shake the technology world to its very foundations, a clandestine Register source has informed us that secretive shiny-stuff behemoth Apple could easily supply more than enough iPhone 5s to meet initial demand: but that it deliberately chose not to. Our source, known to us only by the codename " …

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Anonymous Coward

I feel used...

There isn't an emoticon available to express my feelings of shock at this revelation.

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Devil

Re: I feel used...

There...there now. It's OK. Not to worry...you have PLENTY of company.

Afterall...it's not easy being a Lemming.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I feel used...

Indeed, my source on twitter (@SamsungCopyDesk on Twitter) said this article was paid for by Samsung.

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FAIL

Re: I feel used...

iSheep have plenty of company. Suckers. Baa, baa...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I feel used...

The delays are great, it will give time for some iPhone 5 protective cases to appear on the market, and as to the nano sim card, where are they? Orange deny they exist, have never heard of them. So if you get yours on time, you'll have to wait two months for the sim to use it!

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Anonymous Coward

APPARENTLY

IF you pre ordered youR phone Apple have a little surprise in store, YES it will come with an adapter for the old plug FREE of CHARGE as an Apple thank you for buying the phone!

Have to go, Elvis has come round to watch Eastenders........

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I feel used...

"Some people will believe anything"

Like the commenters on here that think El Reg's Dry Throat exists.

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Go

No Nano Cards?

Giesecke & Devrient, Germany, have them ... if you are a carrier.

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Facepalm

Re: I feel used...

I just feel dirty at the thought of fondling mine ... which has slipped two weeks...

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Re: I feel used...

"Some people will believe anything"

Like the commenters on here that think El Reg's Dry Throat exists.

No, No NO! this is just a clever double double bluff by elReg, they knew that by putting that line in the article it would give the impression that 'dry throat' does not exist, they you highlight the line and everyone then thinks its a double-bluff and that 'dry throat' does exist, but then I make a post saying that it is really a double bluff 'cos again elRel realised that this is what is going to happen, therefore want us to think that 'dry throat' does not exist, but elReg knew that we would spot the double-bluff when they put that line in the article, therefore 'dry throat' does exist .

Q.E.D. - Simples!

In other news, the iSheep have started queing at T-8 days

In Oz they are advertising for professional queueers'

But it’s not surprising that they are queuing so early given the huge demand surrounding the new sixth generation iPhone, or so says crApple anyway.

FFS, it's only a phone!!!! (without NFC, bluetooth or a USB port, but it does have nice rounded corners)

But it reminds me of an incident that happened in my hometown some years ago, a builder was building a new housing estate, a few days before the houses were due to go on sale, he rang up all the people who had registered their interest and told them that there was a lot of people interested in buying the houses and if they wanted a particular house that they should consider queuing up early, when a small queue (people sleeping in their cars) had built up he contacted newspapers and radio stations, which when they reported it caused even more people to join the queue.

Pity one of the people he contacted about queuing was also a jurno on one of the newspapers he contacted.

Suspicious? Moi? never!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I feel used...

"Re: I feel used...

"Some people will believe anything"

Like the commenters on here that think El Reg's Dry Throat exists."

Exists or not, the comments made are TRUE! idiotPhone owners will say anything to prevent them for knowing the truth, and feeling even more silly than they look to their peers.

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Re: I feel used...

you Maroons remind me of kid's in the 60's addicted to transistor radios... Like apple need's another billion to add to their stack of billions... stop buying that overpriced bullsh*t... put that cash into your own pocket & go out & buy the cheapest net-10 you can find.Apple & friend's will cut prices to the bone if you dis them for a year or two...

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Thumb Up

See also

http://www.metro.co.uk/tech/games/912172-wii-u-pre-orders-sell-out-in-america

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Re: See also

The Wii U probably has sold out. The issue is that things like the Wii is that they are subject to seasonal demand. Investing in more production lines would cost a lot of money, and wouldn't really increase profits, since they would only be meeting a temporary spike in demand. After the spike, you have a lot of expensive machinery working at less than capacity. Okay, they make miss out on a few sales, but they are also avoiding the risk of over-investing in production. Plus, as a bonus, they get free publicity in the form of newspaper articles: "I can't buy a Buzz Lightyear/ Tickle Me Elmo / Nintendo Wii / Ferrari for love or money. What will I tell poor little Timmy this Christmas?"

My favourite was Anne Robinson on Watchdog aggressively interviewing VW's UK head, for not making the new model Beetle quickly enough.

"You are letting down the UK consumer by not selling them this new car!"

"I'm sorry, but we are making them as quickly as possible"

"But you are giving them them away! You gave one to Eric Clapton, will you give me one?"

"Er No!"

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Holmes

Re: See also

Any delays were due to Apple trying to finalise patents on the following -

1. Moving objects from one part of the world to another.

2. The process of creating seemingly random connectors for devices (this involves rolling 2 dice, snake eyes gets your new iPhone a parallel port).

3. Air.

Sadly, only one was granted -

Concocting a tsunami of bullshit that convinces the idrones to buy the same tired product for the 5th year running.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: See also

I don't blame him, I wouldn't give Anne Robinson my piss if she was on fire.

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Joke

Some people will believe anything....

Oh so true :)

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Devil

Re: Some people will believe anything....

So it is true - "You [really] can fool some of the people all the time..."

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Some people will believe anything....

Fixed it for you...

So it is true - "You [really] can fool some of the people iSheep all the time..."

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Team Register?

No-one willing to put their name to this pile of shite?

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Re: Team Register?

And let the raging hoards of fanbois know exactly who to direct their wrath at? Oh yes, you'd like that wouldn't you?

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Pirate

Re: Team Register?

I thought it was an interesting point of view.

So, really, why is there such a delay. Assuming the phones are not already in the UK that means there is already a container transiting the Suez Canal, another container just crossing the Indian ocean, and a third being loaded in China as we speak - ooo, think of the Piracy opportunities. (and there must be at least one already unloaded in the UK to have them in the shops and on the doorsteps by Friday).

Or are they flying them in - no wonder they're so expensive. And if they are already in the UK, again, why the delay. I think the unnamed El Reg team may well have found some truth.

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Bronze badge

Re: Team Register?

Couple of years back the story was that Apple was buying out all of Cathay Pacific's trans-pacific cargo space.

I think they do go by air....wouldn't be paying more than $3 a kg I wouldn't have thought.

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Black Helicopters

Re: Team Register?

You have stumbled upon one of Apple's secrets. THIS is why Apple are so concerned about making them smaller/lighter, to the detriment of battery life. To pack more in the shipping containers - to get more product shipped by volume for fixed costs.

BTW, proud owner of an email saying my iPhone 5 was ordered and will be delivered on the 21st. :-D

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Re: Team Register?

Are you new around here?

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Stop

@Velv - Apple tend to use air freight

for this kind of release. Chances are they have been shipping plane loads of them for the last week or so, but if you ONLY count the 2 million that Apple claim pre-orders for that's about 166 40' shipping containers full.

They will have spilt available stock between pre-orders, carrier orders (for the likes of O2 and AT&T to sell to their customers in their own shops) and retail orders (Apple Store, Carphone Warehouse etc). That probably adds up to 2 or 3 times the pre-order numbers.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Team Register?

Just as long as it doesn't contain any marionette "adult" scenes, I'm happy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Team Register?

That's right, go shoot the messenger. Bunch of useless iSheep. Nice devices but way over-priced, for the unthinking with too much money to spare. Get an Android device and then go and give your spare $200 to a starving kid. No, thought not.

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Happy

Re: @Velv - Apple tend to use air freight

When you see a 40' container come out of a plane let me know!

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Re: Team Register?

No one put their name to it because it was utter tripe designed as click-bait 8-/

I suspect they are yet again selling more than they can produce...

http://www.apple.com/pr/library/2012/09/17iPhone-5-Pre-Orders-Top-Two-Million-in-First-24-Hours.html

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Mushroom

Re: Team Register?

Ok I've read enough, It's not your stupid comment that annoyed me so much as the culmination of everyone before it. I mean seriously! Apple is going to sell over 5 million of these things in the first weekend, they sold 4 million iPhone 4S's last year in the first weekend. If you visit an apple store this weekend every employee will be constantly dealing with people. There is an absolute limit to how many phones Apple can process through in a single day. AT&T and Verizon's servers will probably both come down in the process.

Accepting 2 million pre-orders, before staggering the roll out is reasonable.

As for the BS over priced bla bla bla. Stupid comment that pushed me over the edge... The samsung Galaxy S3 16GB costs $199 on AT&T, just like the iPhone 5. Difference is the iPhone 5 will prove out to be faster in CPU and GPU benchmarks and real world tests.

So, faster, thiner, lighter, with more media and applications available for it, and the number 1 rated company for customer satisfaction, service, and quality. It is little wonder that the iPhone 5 will be the hottest selling handset for the next 9+ months.

It is a big deal because it is a big deal.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Velv - Apple tend to use air freight

http://www.ais-group.com.au/news-articles/sea-containers-arrive-by-air

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Headmaster

Re: Team Register?

You have stumbled upon one of Apple's secrets. THIS is why Apple are so concerned about making them smaller/lighter

Actually I think it was Samsung that made the iPhoney5 smaller, Samsung have moved to a smaller mask size for the latest A5 chip, resulting in a smaller chip that uses less power.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Team Register?

"BTW, proud owner of an email saying my iPhone 5 was ordered and will be delivered on the 21st. :-D"

Oh Dear!

And you happily proclaim to being ripped?

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A core of truth indeed

Without Mr. Jobs, Apple is done for -- just like last time, during the ill-starred reign of the fizzy-water salesman, save that this time, there's no hope at all of the visionary's return. It just takes a little while for the collapse to get properly underway.

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Trollface

Re: A core of truth indeed

Oh, you might be surprised. Most religions allow for the messiah to return from the dead, why should Apple be any different?

What, too soon?

GJC

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Alien

Re: A core of truth indeed

Beware the unbelievers and quake. Recite the 23rd Psalm and submit. The Shepherd watches from on-high and sees all and hears the cries of his flock and loves them, and will lead as before but to more righteous and lighter and thinner and brighter pastures to share his ephemeral vision. It is so.

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Coat

Does this also partially explain the recent lull in BOFH output - all the creative juices being flowed here instead?

Or have you lot just been reading too many archived ones to pass the time?

Still a fun read nonetheless, and sadly parts are too believeable.

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Anonymous Coward

Ugh

While it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest that a company would artificially drum up scarcity, the quoted crap in the article sounds like it's coming from a typical dumb-as-fuck-yank that's been raised believing that methamphetamine is actually good for you (also believes the CIA supply the zetas etc etc).

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Re: Ugh

You do know it's made up don't you? Not the conclusions but the quote. Pretty obviously humour rather than fact.

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Joke

Re: Ugh

The content of this article has not yet been approved by Apple therefore the faithful may struggle to correctly categorise it.

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@Andy Farley: What I find entertaining about reading this thread it noticing............

..............that some people really are "satire-dyslexic", they do not recognise it even when it is about as subtle as a lump hammer. The righteous indignation, the fury, the total incomprehension. I got past the first paragraph with the article filed in my head under "Reg Wind-ups" (other than of course that the shortage could in reality be artificial).

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Re: Ugh

Isnt' that most Apple employees?

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Go

Re: Is this supposed to be humorous?

I wish to remind you that "Bootnotes" section this has been posted to is certainly appropriate for satire , pastiche or works of fiction. Take the hint and go grumbling somewhere else.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Is this supposed to be humorous?

My butt... It hurts...

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This post has been deleted by its author

Anonymous Coward

Re: Is this supposed to be humorous?

As someone who sells the fruity kit, I know Apple don't like giving their resellers much stock. We managed to convince our higher ups to let us receive the stock directly from Apple and we still run out fairly frequently.

Still, that's nothing on the cost they charge us to remove the displays if they decide to stop dealing with us.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Is this supposed to be humorous?

"It's certainly not accurate. Is it even news-worthy?"

And how would you know?

"I'm not fanboi, "

And I'm not a racist.

I however, am not following my statement with some drivel that contradicts the prior statement quite conclusively.

It's a bit if fun. Humour. A reaction to the ever present fanboy hoard who are seizing on every little sound bite and broadcasting the "truth" to the world. I saw on a gadget blog a little while ago, AT&T is claiming that they have more pre orders than they had for the last iPhone.

Number.. Sorry.. Can't say.

Time period? Nope.

Area of calculation.. Classified.

So in other words.. meaningless.

Unless one is a fanboy, in which case, it is clear proof that the fifth coming is even more shiny and magical and positively dripping in unicorn emissions.

This story.. Funny, baiting the fanboys, and actually.. quite plausible. Some of the stuff I've seen reported from the rallies is similar in factual content to a BNP manifesto. So being economical with supply for pre orders deliberately is not in the least unbelievable.

Mine's the one with the funny looking phone I found in the pub last week.

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Mushroom

Re: Is this supposed to be humorous?

If only there was a system where we could select what sections of the site we want to read, that way, us boring farts can never see the Bootnotes section ever again,

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