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back to article GCHQ spooks give biz chiefs crash course in thwarting hackers

GCHQ, the UK's nerve-centre for eavesdropping spooks, will advise the nation's business leaders on how best to thwart attacks by hackers. The educational programme, dubbed Cyber Security for Business, was launched today at an event that brought together chief execs of FTSE 100 companies, government ministers and officials from …

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Anonymous Coward

https://www.dephormation.org.uk/index.php?page=83

Should anybody really trust these incompetent clowns/corrupt bastards when it comes to securing communications?

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Anonymous Coward

"Should anybody really trust these incompetent clowns/corrupt bastards when it comes to securing communications?"

Hardly relevant whether they are competent or not, as by rounding up the CEO's and other 1%'ers, they are speaking to an audience who with a few exceptions represent the most IT illiterate constituency in the land. So whatever they say, good or bad, it will have no impact.

Their audience have happily offshored their IT, their data, their support operations to every cheap, sweaty crack of the planet in pursuit of cheap labour and (presumed) higher profits, regardless of the risks. They've loaded up their enterprises with cheap Chinese made data switches, stuck with Windows for the corporate desktop, outsourced their infrastructure to a range of dubiously competent IT outsourcers etc etc. So why worry about the remote chance of a bit of hacking?

So a gaggle of self important directors sitting in a room with the chaps from GCHQ might make both sides feel big and important, nothing useful will be taken on board by the directors (other than perhaps an occasional frisson of fear that their grumble stash might come to light). And even if told something useful, they will not have the understanding to be able to impart this to the IT security managers who should have attended.

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Unhappy

Works for Microsoft

"So a gaggle of self important directors sitting in a room with the chaps from GCHQ might make both sides feel big and important, "

It's a con-sultancy sale.

Make sure you're at the top of their brains when something (and I think it's a pretty safe bet amongst this lot that something *will*) happens they can say "I know, we need to get GCHQ in."

Of course the fact that the CEO's demanding to be able to plug his iPad/Kindle/Expensive camera/whatever into the network is the *cause* of the latest f***up will not be mentioned.

Cynical. Hell yeah.

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Wrong

"this latest scheme puts the intelligence services directly in touch with the private sector for the first time,"

Rubbish (or CESG/GCHQ flummery). Both CPNI, and its predecessor organisation, NISCC, have long had direct contact with private sector organisations.

See https://www.cpni.gov.uk/about/Who-we-work-with/Information-exchanges/

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"Separately, a survey of 320 UK IT professionals by Check Point, published today, found that a third said their primary focus was on stopping external assaults - such as hacking, distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks on websites, and malware - while 26 per cent said their main challenge was preventing inadvertent data losses by employees"

So, a third concentrate on external attacks, nearly a further third concentrate on preventing data loss, and the rest think it won't ever happen.

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Anonymous Coward

"So, a third concentrate on external attacks, nearly a further third concentrate on preventing data loss, and the rest think it won't ever happen."

Only if you believe that survey, "researched" and published by I presume the same Checkpoint that sell enterprise security software.

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Anonymous Coward

I want to work for GCHQ - go on, admit it it. You do to!

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Anonymous Coward

Then apply: http://www.gchq-careers.co.uk/

"There are probably more intelligence and security service jobs and opportunities here than you'd expect, in everything from a wide range of IT, Internet and Engineering roles, to Intelligence Analysts, Linguists, Finance Accounting and Administration. Equally surprising, not all jobs demand specialist experience, yet they all offer a first step into a huge and interesting world of careers."

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Anonymous Coward

"I want to work for GCHQ - go on, admit it it. You do to!"

Of course. Get yourself a secondment to MI6 if you want the full experience. Bring your own holdall.

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Anonymous Coward

Spooks IT

Just tell them to stop using the mouse, then tap away on a keyboard while a futuristic 3D interface swirls about on the screen and say things like "They are breaking into the mainframe through the distributed cloud firewalls, I'll have to vector the attacks through the null buffer routers."

You did mean Spooks the TV series didn't you?

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IT directors

would not attend a meet with this bunch as most of them are prolly failed PFYs they have fired.

If you can, do - if you can't join GCHQ :-)

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Flame

With Corporate Germany Experience

...I would say this is almost pointless. Even IT managers with IT degrees are ignoramuses and don't bother to design rigorous security setups.

Gigabytes of customer/product defect data might be sitting on a corporate server, basically unsecured. One of the 2000 Chinese interns can nick it, if s/he is determined. I am not going to elaborate about the horrible details - let's call it "security by obscurity". Certainly not "security by proper corporate windows login".

Of course I mentioned it to management, only to be told that they don't consider it an issue. I don't know whether they are malicious or stupid - but certainly it is Criminal Neglect.

That's the "western elite" of the 00-years. 00 as in "toilet". All they can do is to make nice-looking convolutes of crap with their shiny M$ Office tools. They have made it a principle to ignore the advice of experts. They are offended by experts and want to live in happy ignorance.

In my opinion, that is why the banksters could f$ck up the financial system and why a private got unsupervised, unchecked, unrestricted access to basically all state department messages. We are "led" by first rate idiots who are only masters of human manipulation. Nasty, dangerous, lazy cynics. As long as they are in pay and power, anything goes. To China, of course.

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Anonymous Coward

What really worries UK Plc...

The board of UK Plc likely has other things on it's mind ahead of the Chinese hackers and Anonymous Keyboard Warriors.

http://360is.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/wikileaks-lessons-for-uk-information.html

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Is Cheltenham coming out to Play Today or is Tomorrow not in their Gift to Perform and Deliver ..

........ which would be terribly disappointing and an abiding threat to national security?**

"GCHQ, the UK's nerve-centre for eavesdropping spooks, will advise the nation's business leaders on how best to thwart attacks by hackers." …… How very weird, and good luck with that already failed program, GCHQ, for surely can one only thwart cyber attack by hackers by engaging with hackers into Cyber Attack and Defence Systems, for one cannot begin to defend and secure a kernel perimeter, let alone be able to give viable assurances of there being zero likelihood of core power and intelligence breech and catastrophic information leakage, unless one is au fait with any and ideally all available attack avenues/systems vulnerabilities easily deeply exploited with stealthy invisible and intangible probes …… Virgin Trojans. Such are certainly what GCHQ are undoubtedly hosting should they be of any particular and peculiar interest to CADS in Live Operational Virtual Environments and Realities played out on Earth with Media and IT Communications Support …… Innovative Tale Spin.

I want to work for GCHQ - go on, admit it it. You do to! ….. Anonymous Coward Posted Wednesday 5th September 2012 14:38 GMT

The SMARTR RealIT Player, AC, will always ensure, insure and assure guaranteed delivery of AIDefinitive Vision with GCHQ working alongside and/or for them? Or do you imagine that GCHQ supply their intelligence services to crazy stupid people who only want to enslave nations to collapsing control systems?* Surely that would be both idiotic and oxymoronic?

Do you think GCHQ is already thoroughly and invisibly deeply penetrated …. VTd?

*Whenever that is a current Wild Wacky Western reality and presentation, does future intelligence lead naturally fly to the East to allow the West more time to deal with ITS wholesale intellectual property supply and phishing chain collapse.

**And international and internetional and universal security too.

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And should that FOUO Message for Cheltenham be Too ObscureD .... here is a Harry Limelight for IT

And as is, and as is hereby being, and will continue freely to be further demonstrated and seamlessly developed ....... With Perfect APT Planning are Virtual Reality Programs and Projects/ARG Plays/Fabulous Sublime Programming in Fabless CHAOS Lab Rat XSSXXXXPloitation and Curious Investigation both the Natural and Alien HyperRadioProActive Default Condition for Presentation of Situations and Awareness in Future Applications in Binary Systems and Virtually Advanced IntelAIgent Operator SubSystems ....... Super Stealthy Drivers.

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Anonymous Coward

@ amanfromMars

Breech = your bum

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Re: Is Cheltenham coming out to ....@amanfromMars 1

You are truly the James Joyce of IT commentards.

Have you thought of literature as a new career?

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Anonymous Coward

@ ledswinger

Have you ever thought about actually reading any literature?

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