back to article Catapults, subsidies, and benefits: Bongonomics explained

"Investigation may be likened to the long months of pregnancy, and solving a problem to the day of birth. To investigate a problem is, indeed, to solve it" - Mao Tse Tung from Oppose Book Worship (1930) JACKSON HOLE, Wyo. Greetings, fellow entrepreneurs! By the time you read this I shall be on the playa at the Burning Man …

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WTF?

What the frak

am I reading?

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Happy

Re: What the frak

Your Bong-fu is weak...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What the frak

...not the last paragraph, apparently. Please empty your desk, and we'll have someone from security escort you from the premises shortly.

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Thumb Up

Perfect delivery, every time.

6 Sigma, Bongster, out of the park.

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Anonymous Coward

i keep reading these, hoping they're going to become amusing, they don't. maybe I'm missing something.

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FAIL

Wow, Mr Bong, I'm impressed -

after all, it is not everyone who can write the Thai glyphs for «Mālay» twice in the same, purportedly English-language article, so that no one misses how enlightened he is, at the same time that he has difficulty with the romanisation of 毛泽东's name. But then he confesses himself to be a devotee of that master of wooden prose and economic illiteracy, the late (un)lamented Alisa Zinovjevna Rosenbaum. Why am I not surprised ?...

Henri

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Trollface

Voight-Kampff time for Mr. Bong?

Has anyone confirmed Mr. Bong is human? Has he taken a Voight-Kampff test? At least been seen to solve a CAPTCHA or two? This article reads like a computer-generated SPAM message. At a glance it looks like sense but the semi-random pieces don't fit together into a coherent narrative.

And did you ever see a machine try SO hard to be hip and cool? OMG, his phone has an undecipherable symbol for a name, is it trying to get it's real name back like Prince?

Going for me coat now...

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Anonymous Coward

Has amanfrommars been recruited as a staff writer

As this reads like one of his ramblings.

Seriously, what the hell is this guy on about?

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Happy

Well I got a chuckle out of

"as surely as that Samsung guy in The Bible had his strength drained by the hairdresser chick."

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Happy

To all not getting these columns...

... I prescribe catching some episodes of Nathan Barley.

Not making sense is much of the point of these columns :)

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Re: To all not getting these columns...

I envy all those who don't get these columns, they've obviously not been marinaded in this sort of rubbish as part of their working life.

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Devil

Re: To all not getting these columns...

Or they are the ones that are doing the marinading, perhaps?

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Re: To all not getting these columns...

GPWM. We're going to need guns.

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Catapults

I am sure I felt a blood pressure spike when I first read

http://www.innovateuk.org/deliveringinnovation/catapults.ashx

I mean transport systems WHAT THE F***ING F***ING F***??????

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Devil

No subsidy better than what the public doesn't understand as such

Money changers don't want to pay taxes, but are happy for the state to provide educated staff, regulation as light as it best suits them, bailouts when they're too big to fail and ajudication services so that contract enforcement doesn't have to involve bloodshed, you know the way this gets done in the illegal drugs marketplace.

Ah well, you can fool most of the people most of the time.

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Silver badge

What ever happened to "synergy"?

Is it not hip anymore? Similarly, I did not spot a single instance of "proactive". I must be getting old.

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Windows

Well I thought it was funny...

... but then as @hplasm says, I'm the one usually marinading others in this :)

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Bronze badge

I love

the sound of WTF in the morning.

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Burning Man

This guy would do very well there, maybe standing on a corner of Blackrock city wth a megaphone and bowls of soft fruit for the good citizens to hurl at him. I can see it now.....

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Silver badge

I can't decide....

whether to be amused or annoyed at all the people complaining they don't get these, or responding to them as though they were meant to be taken seriously.

Even if you've just read your first Bong! column, surely you could check some of the comments before posting in bewilderment or rage. If there aren't many comments for that particular Bongle yet, you could notice the links to earlier installments, follow one of those, and look at the comments.

As we used to say back when Usenet reigned supreme: lurk before posting.

Ah, well, Eternal September is eternal. Lawn, off, &c.

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