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back to article Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Pierogi versus patatas revolconas

Now that the dust has settled on the ultimate sliced-pork butty controversy - a furious debate prompted by our Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie deathmatch - we feel it's time to crack a few cold ones and head out into the sunshine for another culinary clash of titans. We've been enjoying a particularly fine summer over here at the …

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Great artery-clogging food

Now for some clootie dumplings with slumpie

and extra butter of course

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Pint

Re: Great artery-clogging food

I don't need to taste them to know the winner:

One of them had bacon; the other did not.

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Re: Great artery-clogging food

Ah, but I feel that bacon would be a reasonable addition to the first one. Proper bacon though, none of this pancetta rubbish.

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Re: Great artery-clogging food

Whenever I've had pierogi - usually the meat variety - it has not come with chopped fried onions, but with chopped fried bacon as a garnish.

As I usually consume them in Krakow, I suspect this might just be the proper way ;-)

BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them. The last frying stage optional.

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Re: Great artery-clogging food

"BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them. The last frying stage optional."

Since when is anyone in search of post-pub nosh thinking about the state of their arteries?

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Re: Great artery-clogging food

Exactly. I apologise for suggesting people might like to cut down the salt content of patatas revolconas.

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Facepalm

Re: Great artery-clogging food

Panceta rubbish?

You have no clue mate, no clue.

Panceta = Spanish for QUALITY Bacon.

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Facepalm

Re: Great artery-clogging food

Re "BTW, if you are little worried about your arteries, you can just boil them, garnish with fried bacon and eat them."

Sounds delicious mate but I need mine to circulate me blood

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Re: Great artery-clogging food

>> Panceta = Spanish for QUALITY Bacon.

High quality Spanish bacon is still Spanish bacon.

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so when do you stop with the analysis...

and commence on the synthesis?

I presume that after drawing up a comprehensive list of the finest nosh, El Reg will identify the critical success factors and combine them all into a brand-new world-conquering neck-filler. Eggs Vulteros? Patatas Registrado?

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WTF?

Re: so when do you stop with the analysis...

Surely the evidence is already in man?

We apply Occam, we note the bacon buttie already exists, we chow down.

No doubt the red sauce heresy will rumble on but these so called alternatives will fade rapidly as people realise you actually have to BOIL THE FRIKKIN SPUDS!

Jesus, there are INGREDIENTS in some of these things! You have to LEAVE STUFF IN THE FRIDGE OVERNIGHT! There is the very real chance of WASHING UP!

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Headmaster

Pierogi

My local multi-lingual supermarket provides ready-made pierogi suitable for sticking in the freezer until a suitable hunger moment presents itself. The obligatory English translation on the packet charmingly explains that the contents are:

"part-made food product edible after heat treatment"

Lovely!

(Though as a Yorkshireman, with the firm belief that the phrase 'too much mashed potato' is a grammatical impossibility, my vote is for the spuds on this occasion.)

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Pierogi

Yes, the spuds are pretty good. Adding paprika to mash is an inspired idea, I must say.

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Holmes

At first glance, I thought...

...that the Pierogi was just going to be a "mash-pasty", but then you do weird things like first boil it and then deep fry it (was that step invented in Scotland?). I'm sure that has a delicious potential to clog your arteries with all the retained oil.

In my youth I cheerfully added a tin of corned beef into the pasty for a "hash pasty" - addition of chilli, garlic and other spices was known to happen, but I only ever baked it.

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Re: At first glance, I thought...

I have happy memories (although my waistline and arteries don't) of a chippie in the village of Guardbridge (near St.Andrews, in Scotland), back in the late 70s, that used to deep fry everything, including the pasties and meat pies. In lard of course. To be fair, they did cut the steak pies in two and drain the worst of the fat out before serving. But, washed down with a bottle of Irn Bru, beats nectar and ambrosia any day!

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Facepalm

Re: At first glance, I thought...

Olive oil will not clog your arteries.

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jai
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and now i'm starving hungry and it's ages until they start serving lunch in the canteen :(

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Happy

Presumably the next stage

Will be to complete a knock out tournament with the first round winners taking on each other, and then further round suntil the grand final...

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Presumably the next stage

Funnily enough, my regular tasting panel suggested just that. When we've done enough deathmatches, we'll see...

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Re: Presumably the next stage

You need to put those dishes up against the Paella de Pato Picante that I've had one of the local restaurants in Torrelodones - La Colonia inflict on the local populace. It is always fun to watch the Spanish suffer through two helpings of that.

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Pint

No. Just no.

Sorry, but post-pub nosh must have enough protein to do some good. Fried potato product is all very well in its way, but a good lump of bacon has to be part of it. Both of these fail.

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Paris Hilton

Re: No. Just no.

I must agree about more protein needed. Also, where is the grease!! Granted, there is some on the bacon, but I am not talking about a few drops here or there, I am talking about an amount of grease that would make the BP Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico proud (over here in the states there are regions where bacon grease is a food group), and properly coat the stomach. Now you may be saying that the frying of the pierogi will give you some, but if you have properly heated the oil, it should soak in very little, so more grease is still needed.

As for the health effects of the grease and salt, let’s remember this is not supposed to be health food. You are eating this after you have assailed your liver with an amount of alcohol that could be used to disinfect all the equipment in a large hospital, so the health ramifications should not be a worry.

Paris because the grease helps keep her coat nice and shiny.

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Why two seperated dishes?

As I see it you've got cheese and onion in mashed potato empanadas and bits of fat(*) in spicy mashed potato naked.

Why not just throw everything together and using proper bacon to have spicy bacon, cheese, onion and mashed potato empanadas.

I'm going to try this at the earliest possible moment.

(*) As far as I'm concerned pancetta is just a way for pork farmers to offload their bacon fat to peasants by giving it a fancy name and telling them how exotic it is.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Why two seperated dishes?

The paprika-spiced bacon pierogi? That's a provocative combo - I'm going to give that a go too.

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Re: Why two seperated dishes?

That sounds like a winner right there...

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Re: Why two seperated dishes?

Lester,

A friend of mine's in-laws are Latvian. They cook something they call pierogs. So they seem to have got pluralised from pierog the English way. But it seems to be more of a bread roll with bacon in it than a deep fried potato pasty. I can't believe you missed such a perfect opportunity for bacon consumption though.

This is the death match that is going to send me to the kitchen I think. Trying paprika in mash sounds quite nice - but I'm definitely going to give pierogi a go. This is a bank holiday weekend, perfect time to try...

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Re: Why two seperated dishes?

So, the Latvian pierog is actually a bacon sarnie? Butter or brown sauce with that?

Good luck in the kitchen.

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JDX
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I thought post-pub food was something you could manage when half or fully cut. e.g. bacon sandwich. Reg's dishes seem like proper cooking to me, I'd just go to the dirty takeaway rather than risk dropping it all on the floor or burning myself and/or the house!

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Go

Yep that was exactly what I was thinking. Post-pub one shouldn't be capable of throwing together something that actually involves making pastry!

I will agree that some of the dishes sound fab but seem more like day after hang-over cooking to me. What happened to the theory that the food should be able to be made while drunk? Classics from my past include a version of corned beef hash (throw broken up contents into a frying pan & stir now & again) or fried bread with a hole in the middle into which you break an egg so that fries too (ideally in butter not oil) - both quick & easy, involve no measuring & very little effort with the added advantage of being high in both protein & fat.

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Pirogi

Well, in that wayward part of Russia, which now calls itself Poland ;-) they seem to have grown somewhat confused about what is pirogi.

Firstly, proper pirogi are baked, never boiled/fried - only the street vendor cat&dog meat variety was done that way and it wasn't ever considered proper pirogi.

Then, as far as the filling is concerned - mashed potato is just one (and not the most popular) type. Also if you do mashed potato pirogi, add at least some fried onions and mushrooms, otherwise your guests will seriously underwhelmed.

Minced meat, chopped cabbage or cabbage/sauerkraut mix, boiled egg and spring onions, salmon and rice are other widespread combinations and, in general, you can experiment with anything you like.

Sweet varieties can be made with apple, berries (bilberry, cherry, strawberry, raspberry), quark and raisins, poppy seed & walnuts, rhubarb filling, to name but a few.

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Mushroom

Re: Pirogi

Well, it's getting political! ;) Funnily enough, mashed potato filled version of pierogi is called Ruskie in Poland.

Although other options are well known & available, this particular one is my favourite - for completely non-political reasons :D

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Re: Pirogi

That's what I remember form the old country. Especially the hard-boiled eggs: massive amounts of cholesterol compensates for the fact that pirogi's should be baked, not fried.

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Chuck some ground beef into those Pierogi, mmmmmmmm

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And add fried bacon bits - mmmmmm

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tough choice

For me though it has to be the spud based dish FTW

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WTF?

Pierogi

Surely these are much easier for post beer grub, and most petrol stations stock them, produced by a company called "Ginsters" I believe...?

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When cooking Pierogi, I use Canadian Rye flour. Also, I mash the sour cream and cream cheese all up for the filling. Delicious with a side of fried garlic mushrooms! Don't forget the Rye vodka. Na zdrowie!

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Hurray, my favourite grub in a death match.

Thanks for giving the pierogi a go Lester -- although personally it's the meat ones that do it for me.

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.. also, a sprinking of well fried bacon bits over the pierogi works a treat.

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Megaphone

suggestions?

Hey, how does one send in suggestions for the next deathmatch? I have a pretty satisfying dish loaded with cheese and pastry.

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: suggestions?

Post your dish of choice here: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2012/05/15/Lester_Haines_Postpub_nosh_deathmatch/

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Better Polish food.

Sałatka (seriously, look this up - it's awesome)

Bigos (of course - cooked for the 3rd day is best)

Gołąbki (no actual pigeons harmed in the making - just meat wrapped with cabbage - but delicious)

... or just stick some sliced kołbasa on the BBQ. (careful, it falls through the grill.)

Just saying' :-)

Yum.

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Can I suggest...

Can I suggest a Polish dish for the day after the pub?

Rosół - It has revived me from the dead on many an occasion. Leaving me in a presentable condition and ready to re-enact the previous night all over again.

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Re: Can I suggest...

Aka "Jewish Penicillin" or just "chicken soup" in Russia. That is THE way to do chicken soup. None of that "cream of chicken" nonsense!

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: Can I suggest...

I like the look of it. Consider it added to the list. Have just been having a look for a recipe...

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PM.
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Re: Can I suggest...

This knowledge makes you a pro when it comes to partying ...

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Trollface

The sad day when...

Lester loses his Internet license, as the Meme Police discover that he suggested that a dish without bacon in it might possibly be equivalent to, let alone better than, a dish with bacon in it.

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Paris Hilton

Streetview shot

Some of those roads look to be in lovely condition - and not a toll-booth in sight.

Paris, because I'm sure she'd approve of those splendid white lines too.

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FAIL

Re: Streetview shot

EU loans mate, didn't end well.

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pierogi <-> gyouza

I suppose that people eat dumplings nearly the world over. My favourite would have to be Japanese-style gyōza. Mix up minced pork, cabbage (finely chopped, lightly salted, then squeezed to remove moisture), spring onions, shrimp, ginger, garlic (all finely chopped or minced) and sesame oil and for the filling with just plain flour and water for the wrapping. There are as many ways to cook these as pierogi, but I think the best is to fry them first in a very small amount of oil then put a small amount of water in the pan and cover it so that the steam cooks everything. Remove from the pan when all the water evaporates and serve with a mix of soy sauce and chilli oil.

Besides tasting delicious, they look great too if the edges are pleated properly (very fiddly to get exactly right, unfortunately).

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