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back to article Apple, Samsung brass hats' patent spat chitchat falls flat

Apple and Samsung's chief execs have discussed their US patent trial but they weren't able to sort out their differences, a lawyer for the South Korean chaebol said yesterday. District Judge Lucy Koh asked the pair of warring firms to consider negotiations one more time before the jury gets down to decision-making this week. …

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Bronze badge

Idiots shooting themselves in the feet

All they look to accomplish is to draw attention to the idiotic system of putting a patient on the obvious and then sitting back and letting the cash roll in.

On the brighter side, this sort of stupidity should help to change the system that stifles competition and "real" innovation

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Joke

Re: Idiots shooting themselves in the feet

I think they should lock them both in a room to "sort it out"

Two enter, only one can leave

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Re: Idiots shooting themselves in the feet

I actually have a transcript from that meeting:

"Go f*** yourself."

"No, you go f*** yourself."

The meeting was then adjourned.

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Re: Idiots shooting themselves in the feet

Correct, with only one minor flaw...

All those in a position to challenge the US patent office (aka lawyers) are making way too much money from these crazy trials to want to change the trough.

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Silver badge

lol

Anybody else read the byline as "Apple, Samsung ass hats"?

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Anonymous Coward

If they give each other half of what they were asking for then that's surely fair?

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Anonymous Coward

yeah..

I want half of your first born...

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Thumb Down

Nope......

Apple......OK we will take half the $2.5 billion

Samsung........OK we will take half the $500 million

Apple.......So that's $1 billion you owe us

Samsung........Seems fair...........

Yeh like Samsung would stand for that

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Unhappy

Hella long form...

I wouldn't like to fill that out even if it was only my opinion that decided the answer, I pity the poor sod who has to corral an entire jury into agreement.

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Anonymous Coward

Sympathy for the Jury

Just looked through the form... excessive and ridiculous. Can't blame them if they just doodle on it or randomly put Y/N.

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Re: Sympathy for the Jury

Quickest path through:

1 Apples patents invalid

2 Samsungs exhausted

3 damages on what's left $1. they can swap the a note

Wonder if they'll have the balls to do it. It wouldn't even be a wrong result.

2 would cause severe panic in the industry and might just provoke real pressure for reform, since it would decapitate a lot of the lawyers charging opportunities as well as hitting patent holders in the wallet.

1 would just leave the world laughing.

The worst possible thing that could happen is the jury not deciding all claims. Decide and it's nearly appeal proof, deadlock and the whole charade starts over again.

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Anonymous Coward

Impartial Jury.

So I wonder how many members of the jury have a jesus phone? and how many are packing sammys?

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Devil

Re: Impartial Jury.

Juror No 4.......

"Siri did Samsung infringe patent 915? "

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Re: Impartial Jury.

And now they have to come to a unanimous agreement with each other on the matter at hand. If you stuck 12 readers of El Reg or 6 El Reg readers and 6 El Reg writers onto the jury there wouldn't be a unanimous verdict even if they are pretty damn tech savy so expecting a juror called Bob whose passion in live is collecting navel lint to agree with Betty who thinks a telephone should only be used for making calls to agree on if a telephone infringed a patent for "calculating within 50% probability which side of a coin will be 'up' when tossed" is a bit of a stretch.

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Trollface

Re: Impartial Jury.

I think if you stuck 12 El reg readers on the jury you'd have a toss-up, a booze-up or a punch-up. Or possibly a combination of all three...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Impartial Jury.

More importantly I can image the summing up:

"Do you the members of the jury Find for Apple, an all American company, built on Truth, Liberty and Mum's apple pie. Think of the Stars and Stripes, SuperBowl, land of the Free, home of the Brave

or

Samsung an Isidious Asia company that steals our ideas, and puts hard working Americans out of jobs, hell they are taking the Dollars out of your pocket. Jesus, we fought them in WWII, OK technically that was the Japanese but they are all the same, and they eat dogs.. THEY EAT GODDAM DOGS. "

Thank you"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Impartial Jury.

> More importantly I can image the summing up

"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca."

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Facepalm

So in other words

Both companies are so confident they will ultimately prevail they're not giving in.

or possibly...

One company is being shitty so the other company is saying well if you're not compromising nor are we.

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Re: So in other words

It's probably safe to say that whoever wins, it'll go to appeal and get decided further up. Despite the circus (complete with clowns) this is really just a bit of legal foreplay: Peeking at each other briefs, if you like.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So in other words

Still don't get why they're deliberating on whether the patents are infringed when they don't even know if they're valid yet.

It's just silly, really it's a case of (at the moment)

I think your house is on my land.

Seventeen weeks of court later

Okay, now we know that your house is on my land lets see if your house exists.

Two days later

It doesn't? Okay.

One way it'll always take 17 weeks and two days. The other way it could take 2 days only. So why not do it that way?

Probably because the system was devised by lawyers.

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Silver badge

Re: So in other words

The system is rigged to make patents diabolically hard to invalidate.

They decide *if* there's infringement 1st because if there isn't they don't have to even try to decide validity. So shitty, invalid patents get a 2nd chance to enrich a bunch of lawyers and they get paid to show invalidity both times!

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Bronze badge

From evething ive read on this, it sounds as if the judge is trying to give apple a chance before they lose. either way i dont care, its just been fun to watch!

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Alert

Total dollar amount

I love the widths of the lines for "Total dollar amount that Apple/Samsung is entitled to receive from Samsung/Apple" - you could get a LOT of digits in there.

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Anonymous Coward

appropriate phrases

"jaw-jaw not war war"

"six of one and half-a-dozen of the other"

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Silver badge
Flame

Wish I was on the Jury

I would do my best to talk them into saying both sides broke every one of the infringements.......

Then put down 5 cents per infringement as a reward. It would serve them right for wasting my time and using up part of my life on such a pathetic case.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wish I was on the Jury

...or maybe threaten them both. Either sort it out, or the loser bails out greece.

Apple needs to be bitch slapped for trying to patent breathing. Sammy need to be smacked for rising to their bait.

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Anonymous Coward

American Jury:

"Ok, so should we let the Koreans win, or our American brothers?"

Hmmmmmm.

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Happy

or maybe

the question should be

Shall we let the Korean company that makes its phones in China win or the American company that makes its phones in China using Korean designed parts win...

PS for the record I own a samsung phone, bought not because it looked like an iPhone, but because its £20/month cheaper on the contract,

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Devil

Re: or maybe

And doesnt look shit, becuase it nicked its design off Apple , which is what this whole trial is about. Lots of people wanted an iPhone looking phone, but not at the prices charged, and samsung helped out. Apple then replied with GTFO were suing you cheap Bast*ards design your own fricking phone.

Where upon all samsung and its cheap ass supporters replied with , yeah right its a rectangle with square corners so balls to your patents neh neh neh.

where upon Apple replied with, you may have screwed everyone else over with nicking their designs and putting them out of business because you can pay peanuts to your workers, but hey, we already pay peanuts to the chinese, and were not letting you nick our designs and put us out of business, your getting sued!

From the shadows google sat back in their chair started to stroke their white cat and laughed .... our plan is coming together mwhahahaha

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Silver badge

Re: or maybe

Actually, the whoring Apple copycats copied everything under the sun and simply rebranded it and said "hey, I'm a slut now try and fuck me".

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Linux

Re: or maybe

I own a Samsung phone because it's not deliberately hobbled in an effort to force you to buy expensive "apps", because it's using an operating system I understand and can write code for, and because it just works better than any Apple product.

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Re: or maybe

"Lots of people wanted an iPhone looking phone, but not at the prices charged, and samsung helped out..."

...by making a great phone and charging less.

I had an iphone and bought a galaxy. Carried them both at the same time for a week or so and never got the 2 confused for a second. I hope the design patents are thrown out in this case...

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Silver badge

Re: or maybe

The last thing I want is something that looks like an Apple phone - a tacky fridge-magnet logo, tiny screen, and have people think I'm an Apple user?

No, I bought Samsung because it's the best hardware available (the latest 4S has poorer specs than even last year's S2), a decent sized screen that still fits in my pocket (Apple's porridge offerings are either too small, or way too big). I avoided Apple in particular because I wouldn't want to wait years for standard features that have long been available in Android, Symbian and even bog standard ancient feature phones. And yes, I want to install what software I want, without Apple telling me I can't (e.g., freedom of browser choice), as well as being able to write code for a device I own, without needing Apple's permission, or having to buy a special Apple computer to do so. The fact that they can deliver all this, and also do so at a lower price, just shows how good Samsung are.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: or maybe

"The fact that they can deliver all this, and also do so at a lower price, just shows how good Samsung are." Or more truthfully that they don't give the the slightest shit about who they harm in the process. Still, Samsung are the good guys, right?

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Thumb Down

Re: or maybe

Where as Apple are happy to get their phones manufactured by a company who's response to workers hurling themselves to their deaths off the factory roof was to install nets. When it comes to being the good guys and not harming people I don't think Apple can take the moral high ground.

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Anonymous Coward

Miniophis...

That was kind of the point of the comment, fandroids sanctimoniously defending Samsung as an arbiter of all that is right and just, a great innovator and some sort of perfect business that would never do any harm as is being needlessly attacked by Apple. It is sickening to see you lot defend this vile company. If an Apple fanboy wrote this rubbish they'd be pilloried beyond all reason. Do you fandroids realise what a parody you all are?

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Silver badge

Running before you walk?

I find it interesting that the jury will be asked to decide if this phone (made by Asians) potentially infringes patents of this other phone (made by Americans, well, an American company).

Surely the first step should be to ascertain if these patents are even valid?

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Anonymous Coward

It is about multi-touch

Actually ...Lots of people wanted a multi-touch phone similar to the iPhone (they didn't care whether it was slightly smaller or larger), but not at the prices charged, and samsung and google helped out..."

If Android did not support multi-touch, Apple would not sue these guys....and no one will be buying Android anyway.

Apple wanted multi-touch of iPhone to be equivalent of the "click-wheel" for the iPod. No competitor copied the click wheel and Apple had the market to itself.

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Re: It is about multi-touch

Multitouch is an additional feature, but it's not clear to me that's any more significant than saying lots of people want a phone with Wifi, GPS, apps, camera, or anything else, for which we could credit lots of other companies like Nokia. Or indeed, simply wanting a phone with touch - having used a single-touch phone (Nokia 5800), I found that the advantage of having any kind of touch is far bigger than the distinction between single-touch and multi-touch (which most of the time is irrelevant). And given that Symbian single-touch screens were vastly outselling the multi-touch Iphones (Symbian only added multi-touch a bit later), I'm not convinced by your argument that no one would be buying Android if it was only single-touch. And we might as well say that no one would be buying Iphones if they didn't add, say, copy 'n' paste.

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WTF?

What are you mumbling about?

What your saying is the equivilent of saying that apple effectively wanted to patent the double click function on your mouse.

Multitouch was already available on tft screens before Apple got hold of it, it was an innovation which was developing regardless of them.

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Re: What are you mumbling about?

Agreed multi-touch did exist long before apple got hold of it. However Apple do seem to have a habit of submitting patents along the lines of : -

Thing that has existed for ages for which there is a ton of prior art but on a [phone/tablet/mobile device].

I can't help feeling a lot of problems could be solved if the US Patent office was bulldozed into the sea.

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Silver badge

"Or more truthfully that they don't give the the slightest shit about who they harm in the process. Still, Samsung are the good guys, right?"

How do you mean? I don't see how them charging less harms others in any unethical manner (if it gives other companies less sales, tough luck).

It's not like the extra money Apple charges is going to charitable purposes - it's money going straight into the bank for Apple, for them to use to "destroy Android" (though so far, they've failed miserably).

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So basically your ok, will companies sitting back, waiting for the competition to design something, then ripping it off and roducing it cheaper for you, so in other words, you like samsung the Zynga of mobile phones! Brillitant!

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Anonymous Coward

Typical fanboy. Are you really going to pretend the child labour story didn't happen?

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