back to article First, Google goggles - now the world gets self-censoring specs

The Committee for Purity in the Camp is reportedly selling spectacles that deliberately blur vision, leading wearers not into temptation. The glasses are, apparently, on sale in the more orthodox Jewish sections of Israel, for £25 or only a fiver for stickers one can attach to ones existing specs. The idea is to blur anything …

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Anonymous Coward

Ha Ha

I spotted it's 1st April !

Wait a sec...

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Meh

I had to

Wipe the tears from my eyes, thought it was a great joke, until I saw someone wearing them!

It's not ideal eyewear to go to the zoo with is it!

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Anonymous Coward

The small gaps

Hide your eyes when looking down a lovely cleavage!

Oh yes!

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Joke

Re: The small gaps

If thine eye offends thee, my face is up here...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: The small gaps

Or in the writings (unpublished) of Cosmo Smallpiece

If thine eye offends thee, you're not close enough. Ooooh! Knickers, knackers, knockers.

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And when they detect danger...

...they go completely black?

Sorry Google, already been thought of...

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TRT
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Coat

Dark glasses...

to match their ortho-docs.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: And when they detect danger...

Remember, it's customizeable ... hence (Ob) the parking lot is full:

http://plif.courageunfettered.com/archive/wc161.gif

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Trollface

Roll up roll up

Yes sir, this new patented system will 100% guarantee to ensure you don't give in to temptations.

Step one is a large burly man walks alongside you wherever you go.

Step two is, if he see's your eyes straying onto things it shouldn't then he punchs you. If you continue to oggle at Bulgarian airbags and the like then he pops you in the other eye. Your eyes swell up and then you can't see anything! Problem solved!

Then when you cannot see anything the burly man helps you not walk into things.

Praise buddah, your soul will be saved!!

That will be £999.99 please.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Roll up roll up

Sigh.

Except this is about hardline Judaism, a different and less practical form of sky pilotry.

BTW, it's spelled "Buddha" generally, and most Buddhist monks are usually quite relaxed about the fact that they are allowed to indulge in sexual relations.

Still, carry on, Clarkson.

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Anonymous Coward

Can't they just...

...learn a little self control? or are they lacking in the frontal lobe department?

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Meh

Re: Can't they just...

No man has self control!

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or are they lacking

I'm beginning to think so

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Joke

@AC

How dare you mock $religion. Your comment is highly insulting for $religion_practisers because you're generalizing thus causing them heavy damage.

We'll sue and won't settle for less than $10000,- unless you're living in Europe; then it will have to be E 15000,- due to your extra "stigmatisation" being involved.

Sure; jokingly written. The worst part? This sort of BS is actually happening right now.

Whoops, did I just insinuate $religion to be bs? Uh oh....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Can't they just...

"Re: Can't they just...

No man has self control!"

Ewww, sounds a bit rapey too me. Speak for your unbridled self.

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FAIL

Re: Can't they just...

"No man has self control!"

Damned right!

As we have been told many times it's all the fault of women - despite men apparently being better, stronger etc.etc.

Google had produced the Tommy glasses - there are two more products to come---

"just put on the eye shades, put in the ear plugs, you know where to put the cork"

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I thought the bible said

If thine eye offends you pluck it out.

not

If thine eye offends you where Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses

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Re: I thought the bible said

Whoops! Was that the correct name? Clearly I am not as much of a frood as I thought I was.

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Blur?

They need to go totally opaque.

Ultra-Peril Sunglasses!

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Re: Blur?

Jew-Junta 2000s?

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Come back Douglas

You are so needed.

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Re: Come back Douglas

He's spending a few years dead for tax purposes.

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Pint

These could be dangerous if worn at the same time as beer goggles.

Does the product packaging carry a warning about that?

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Put in your earplugs ...

... Put on your eyeshades. You know where to put the cork.

(Apologies to The Who.)

Some people are so bloody stupid.

If you need artificial aids to maintain your mental purity, then you're failing to live up to what your culture/god requires of you.

Still, there's profit in it for someone, I suppose.

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Re: Put in your earplugs ...

Profit?

I have a set of readers exactly like that, I paid $1.00 (.64 pounds) for them.

The real money is to be made by selling salvation to fundies; too bad I still have ethics.

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WTF?

So..

They're like blinkers then? For horses? On people? Voluntarily?

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Happy

Re: So..

Well you can get such things, and, yes, people do wear them voluntarily, but that's usually because they're into Pony Play fetish...!

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Anonymous Coward

Jewish, Israel and short-sightedness.

'nuff said.

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Anonymous Coward

A much better idea...

Instead of shielding your eyes to prevent you from temptation, why not just cut your cock off (or be castrated) - AND it has the added bonus of filtering out the less intelligent from the human gene pool at the same time.

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Joke

I think the car drivers of Norwich already use a similar device on their windscreens

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Anonymous Coward

Google Glasses hack/mods will rule

Guessing it will be approximately 30 seconds after launch that glasses will be hacked. Can see a market for a variety of overlays, am I the only one that would fancy wandering round as normal but viewing everyone as Zombies or something similar.

Personally I can't wait for the one that makes everyone else appear as a nude Kelly Brook.

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Alert

Re: Google Glasses hack/mods will rule

And remote hacking of other people's glasses.

"I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes."

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Re: "everyone else as a nude Kelly Brook"

Your "morning afters" are going to suck.

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Anonymous Coward

" female nipples which our own society likes to see covered "

Only some of society! I for one am an equal opportunist, women have just the same right to bare their chests & nipples as men do!

If people are offended by the human body, try moving to a Muslim country, they can accommodate the prudes just fine... (its their life, do what you want, but don't start being all puritanical in my country!)

The UK is a bit too prudish I think, seriously people are even forced to wear clothes in a Sauna! how unhygienic!!

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Ontario is with you

In the name of equality, women are allowed to be topless in the street, just like men. This is called Topfreedom.

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@OP

>If people are offended by the human body, try moving to a Muslim country, they can accommodate the prudes just fine

I hadn't realised America was a Muslim country

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sauna

I have no idea why there is that rule most civilised countries deal with nudity in saunas without it turning into a total mess.

But then I don't see what the problem is with allowing people to wear or not wear clothes as they like anywhere. However I suspect the reason for covering up is to save the council having to clear up the pools of puke that would be the result of most of our fellow citizens wobbling around. I mean have you seen the state of most of the people (especially the women) in this country - more uncontrolled, untoned, wobbly lard than you could ever burn. Its disgusting,

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Re: @OP

It isn't yet, but it is full of different breed of religious lunatics.

Have to admit that the world would be a wholly better place without these religious.

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Anonymous Coward

Of all the weird religious rules I know…

Orthodox Jewish rules are definitely the most funny:

Sabbath mode for kitchen appliances

Guidelines on eating canned food and potato chips served by a non-Jewish

AC. Humor can be a matter of taste.

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Re: Of all the weird religious rules I know…

I see a new market here, kosher vibrators.

They refuse to work on the Sabbath but come the next day they go into overdrive to compensate for the built up frustration.

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Pint

There are times...

... when I marvel at what the human race has achieved. There are times when I really believe that there is nothing that we cannot achieve given the resources, leadership and the will to make it happen.

Then I read about things like this; and I wonder if it wouldn't be a good idea for another asteroid to wipe out all life on Earth and start again from scratch.

It's 10 in the morning and I feel like I need a large drink to cry into.

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Unhappy

Re: There are times...

I agree. And how much more would we have achieved if we hadn't lost 1000 years or so to the transmissable disease meme of religion?

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Re: There are times...

We're still searching for a nam-shub which doesn't cause more problems than it solves.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: There are times...

"... a good idea for another asteroid to wipe out all life on Earth and start again from scratch."

Hmm, one person wears stickers on their glasses to make them short-sighted, another wishes that all life on Earth was exterminated by an asteriod. I know which one I'd rather share this planet with...

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Anonymous Coward

Optional

I can't believe that enough people think that the problem in this situation is that pesky faculty of sight. I try not to judge, but this seems insane to me.

Not to mention potentially dangerous. How long before someone gets run over by an oncoming speeding blur?

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Happy

Re: Optional

So long as they haven't bred, that's Darwinism at work.

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Re: Optional

Darwin in action :)

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Obvious prior art.

Foggles.

These are the glasses used for instrument flying training that allow you to look down and see the instruments while the view forward looks, er, foggy.

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WTF?

um..... isn't making long distance vision blurry going to be very bad for driving?

"Yes, I know I should have seen the woman crossing the road - but my religion demands that I not be able to see that far ahead"

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Happy

"...but my religion demands that I not -"

"...be able to see that woman."

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