For flock's sake: Scared sheep send SMSes to Swiss shepherds
Swiss boffins have been testing SMS-equipped sheep to see if they can send a warning text message when the big, bad wolf approaches, and it looks like they can. The sheep don't voluntarily send the message, but a heart-rate monitor fitted to a sheep's collar can detect when the animal is stressed, and automatically sends an SMS …
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So now they'll be able to blame the sheep when the cycling timing data gets stuck in network congestion?
It'll be texts from dog next. http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/
False positives...
Some more reasons why sheep get excited: cars, sandwiches, other sheep, shepherds, shadows, trees, grass ...
After a couple of weeks of that your average shepherd will be leaving his phone off the hook.
Besides which any half competent predator will take its victim without alarming the flock until it's too late.
Re: False positives...
By monitoring several animals in a flock you can be more confident, and by using past data you can train your system to the same end.
And no, knowing a predator is attacking is valuable because you can get there when it's only one or two animals, not the whole herd.
Re: False positives...
Some more reasons why sheep get excited: cars, sandwiches, other sheep, shepherds, shadows, trees, grass
.. farmers .. :)
Re: False positives...
"will take its victim without alarming the flock" sounds like the voice of experience.
be pro-active
Just pick the slowest sheep in the flock and fit it with a proximity mine. No more wolf, no more problerm, and all for the cost of one sheep.
Re: be pro-active
Even better, start leaving chunks of stake with grenades glued ontop.
A pint because itll take 3 before I'll try it
baa out loud!
This gives me an idea for a new SMS adult service - chat live to bored sheep! X-rated woollen action! 09069 69CHOPS - £1 per text plus standard network rate.
Re: baa out loud!
Sorry...but that is now ILLEGAL in the UK...even for sheep. Too baaad.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/08/03/text_talk_legal_status/
Baa humbug...
Sheep tend to be reared in areas that do not have much in the way of mobile coverage, so this is only really useful for sheep in, or close to, urban areas. Cardiff* for example.
* Other unfair and inaccurate racial stereotypes are also available.
Re: Baa humbug...
If you'd seen the women in Cardiff, you'd understand the ovine preference... fnaar, fnaar...
On a serious note though, SMS isn't really the main part of the story, the system could use any communication medium.
Any communication medium?
Presumably this would use a baa code...?
Wolves? There's bears too...
Thing that puzzles me, is that the Swiss are big fans of the temporary electrified fences, moving the flock to different fields on a near daily basis - there are no real fences per-se.
Surely they keep the sheep in, as well as the wolves out?
"big fans of the temporary electrified fences,"
Indeed you are correct - in fact I just climbed over one ( for cattle ) this morning in Saas-Fee. They don't look capable of keeping a big dog or wolf out though as they are quite low.
Re: "big fans of the temporary electrified fences,"
Mrs Chemist just pointed out that a SMS when the heart rate was zero would be the best indication of wolves !
Re: "big fans of the temporary electrified fences,"
There is a good chance that by that time, the transmitter would already enjoy the stomach acids of the predator..
Worried?
"British sheep don't have to worry about wolves, and rarely worry about rustlers either, in fact they don't even flock properly..."
So you can't tell them to flock off?
Mines the sheepskin one of course.
Autumn failure
When the ram's out with the raddle waistcoat in the autumn the system will go mad! Raised heartrates indeed.
Re: Autumn failure
Ooh!, it's the artificial inseminator - be still my beating heart !
Sheep alert error.
"This alert system seems to be working, but one of my sheep has gone completely bald!"
"Let's have a look........aha.........it's dialling a premium rate number. Sorry, but it's been fleeced.".....
But how many times.....
.....can these Sheep cry "Wolf!!", before the farmer stops believing them?
Frikkin' lasers...
Obvious development - a squad of laser-equipped (homing missile, tactical nuke, take your pick) sheep in each flock. Rearward facing of course, since presumably the sheep are just bright enough to run *away* from not toward the wolf... No need for the shepherd to get out of bed, even.
Re: Frikkin' lasers...
Genius idea. Nature already provided an in-sheep mounting bracket as well :).
The sheep don't voluntarily send the message
Thanks for clearing that up.
Re: The sheep don't voluntarily send the message
Otherwise they would demand the iPhones to which they are entilted!
Re: The sheep don't voluntarily send the message
Give them their own Internet access and they'll all be following each other on Twitter before you know it.
Re: The sheep don't voluntarily send the message
"Give them their own Internet access and they'll all be following each other on Twitter before you know it."
Don't you mean Shitter, named so because only sheep use it and is 'shitter'.
Being pedantic
The Canton name is St Gallen, not St Gall.
I know, I need to get out more.
Re: Being pedantic
Actually it's Kanton, not Canton, being German speaking. If you want to be über-pedantic :)
Re: Being pedantic
"Actually it's Kanton, not Canton, being German speaking. If you want to be über-pedantic :)"
überpedantisch surely?
And canton is the English word for der Kanton
The various stages of surveilsheep
Your sheep is being chased.
Your sheep is being eaten.
Your sheep has been eaten.
The sheep sensor is in a small brown pile beside the B1285. Please insert into another sheep.
Levels of difficulty
"British sheep don't have to worry about wolves, and rarely worry about rustlers either, in fact they don't even flock properly, and need walls and fences keep them together*. ...
* Your correspondent once worked on a game based around sheep, including several months spent developing sheep-flocking algorithms, so was very disappointed to discover this fact."
So if British sheep don't flock, they are more difficult to gather together into pens. Does this mean that for the computer version of "One Man and his Dog" our correspondent was working on, would use cowardly foreign sheep at the lower levels and more independent-minded, rebellious British sheep at higher levels?
Imagine a Boss Sheep at the end of each level! Could the Border Collie be upgraded with a "tactical mint sauce" option?
Nuke Icon because it would barbeque a sheep quite nicely :-)
Colin
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