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back to article Tablets, copycats and Weird Al Yankovic

"They are not as cool." With these five words, Judge Colin Birss became Samsung's friend and tormentor in one. He had just found in the company's favour in its defence against Apple but ruined the moment for Samsung by hinting that the Galaxy Tab was, well, a bit crap compared to an iPad. Apple iPad Cool tablet Birss …

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Saturn 3 was brilliant.

Hector's gonna be wearing your head.

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Anonymous Coward

Didn't they over-dub Harvey Keitel's voice or something?

But, yeah, cool movie.

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Yes, they reckoned he sounded a bit foreign or girly or something.

I wish someone would release a decent DVD of it - mine only have mono sound and apparently there were 20 minutes of the original cut that were thrown away.

I was going to write some software to try and combine the compressed-but-stereo sound track from the laserdisc with the faithful-but-mono sound from the DVD, but then decided that time is a precious commodity and not to be pissed away quite as pointlessly.

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Childcatcher

'but if I named the principal character ‘Patty Horror’ and the school ‘Bogfarts’, JK - Rowling, not the guy from Jamiroquai - would sue my arse off'

And she'd lose as you safe under parody laws.

'...and I’d deserve it.'

yes, you deserve it, but she'd still lose.

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The guy from Jamiroquai was called JayKay, I think.

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Beat me to it/Minor Nit

You'd probably be safe under parody laws, but it would have to BE a parody, not a cheap rip-off. Cheap rip-off and you'd still lose.

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Trollface

Barry Trotter

& the Dead Horse

& the unwarranted sequel

& the unauthorized parody

all by Michael Gerber, the school is 'Hogwash'

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Re: Barry Trotter

Does Barry Trotter have a brother called Del-Boy?

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"the twat in the hat"

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Anonymous Coward

@Miek

Oooh, cutting:

The guy from Jamiroquai /was/ called JayKay.

Made me lol.

I never liked the guy, all of his "we got to save mother earth" stuff would have been ok, if he didn't have some of the most conspicuous consumption you could imagine. However, as he backed it all up with generally behaving like a prize penis, that was the icing on the cake for me.

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Thumb Down

Re: @Miek

I watched a show about him once and was amazed to learn he has leather WALLPAPER??!!

If he lectures anyone on consumption having leather WALLPAPER and about 20 cars then he's a massive hypocrite

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Is the Galaxy Tab still being offered for sale? it must be 2yrs old by now

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Anonymous Coward

It is, and still at the same price, as far as I can tell.

Makes it very confusing when looking for the newest madels.

The new one will be called Galaxy Note 10.1 (I think)

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Hooray for comfusing names

I've just replaced my iPad, with The New iPad... Having skipped the iPad 2, as it wasn't worth upgrading.

Presumably the next one will be the iPad 4, and then back to the New iPad again? I wonder how many people get confused when Apple's website are selling both the iPad and the iPad 2 simultaneously, but the iPad 2 (which should be newer) is the cheaper one?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Hooray for comfusing names

Buy a better product, dilema over!

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Linux

Re: Hooray for comfusing names

The confusion you are experiencing with iPad naming conventions is actually a marketing technique pioneered by intel to push crappy celeron chips onto people prior to their Core iX naming convention.

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g e
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Not as cool?

Not so sure it was a slur against Samsung than to force apple to declare it is at least as cool if they want to appeal.

Could be the sign of a judge sick of the whole cockblock-your-competition-with-lawsuits thing having some judicial fun.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not as cool?

Also the judge's statements pointed out that Apple cannot patent the obvious and that the function of a device significantly dictates its form.

1. Every tablet with a touch screen will be a thin rectangular object, just like all modern TV & Computer screens.

2. Those thin rectangles will have curved corners so they are not sharp and therefore not damaging to clothes, furniture or people.

3. Touching that screen in a way similar to turning pages in a book, or similar to using a mouse or cursor are all obvious and derived from previous works.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not as cool?

" judge's statements pointed out that Apple cannot patent the obvious "

Thats Apple f cked then! That is, after all, what they pay someone else to produce!

No innovation, just make it look shiny and the fools will follow like lost sheep.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Not as cool?

Calm down, dear!

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But

Judges are rarely 'cool', therefore not likely to be acceptable arbitrators in that field. It's like having the BBC ban your song, immediate success follows, even if its pony & trap. If you parent's, no matter what age you are, think it's cool, it usually isn't often for no more reason than they think that. For example ;

Exhibit A: The Scorpions (although Lovedrive is a bit epic).

Exhibit B: Speedos.

Exhibit C: Wine made from random shrubbery.

I can't think of anything more devastating to Apple.

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Pint

Re: But

On Exhibit C, let's be fair. The kids think anything with alcohol in it is cool, probably because the grown ups say they aren't supposed to have any. It's been that way for several generations now.

Booze made from a shrubbery. Ni!

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Re: But

Ni Indeed! Perhaps our generation felt that way although I grew up in an environment where a tipple with a meal from a young age was encouraged to promote repsonsible drinking (it worked barring the the exception of a few notable incidents, one including an f150, gaffa tape and a teen wolf impression, "officer there is no open alcohol container inside the vehicle! I'm on the roof").

Drinks targetted at kids these days seem to have to be unlikely colours and taste nothing like alcohol. Nettle wine is not cool next to alcopops, but I guess if you can't get alcopops (and lets be honest, from about age 12 onwards we all knew which offlicence didn't ask for id's) then random fermented plant is better than nothing.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: But

I did feel a desire to get a Galaxy tab when Apple started kicking off about it, but it passed with a little help from "the spending committee". I'm currently waiting to compare the Series Seven with MS' Intel surface as I've decided to go for a "proper" OS on a tablet and use it as a desktop/laptop replacement as well...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: But

@Rampant spaniel: Oddly, kids don't drink many alcopops because they're so expensive compared to a litre of white lightning.

However I do remember seeing someone come up to the bar in my local (a Camra award winning pub) and ask for a Blue WKD being told by the fearsome landlady "Sorry, we don't sell childrens' drinks."

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Re: But

Good for your landlady!

My friends at that kind of age tended to sup junk like concorde (cheap pseudo wine), alcopops weren't around. My much younger brothers friends were all fans of alcopops, mostly because they didn't taste of booze and the bottles were tiny so they could act like they'd drunk lots. Personally I was a fan of scrumpy (farm boy sorry!), I even like the cider you used to get at glastonbury in jerry cans that came with an inch or two of sediment, for the life of me I couldn't drink white lightning. You are entirely correct that it's cheap and strong but it tastes worse than that boxed wine that they refuse to identify beyond 'red wine'. Theres probably wide variations across the country in what kids drink or just what they can afford in any area. White lightning must seriously hamper your ability to play pool!

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Re: But

Ahhh... Happy nostalgic memories...

A bottle of White Lighting in my hand (Diamond White if I was feeling 'rich'), maybe some Thurnderbird to follow, the stench smell of Malibu drifting from across the other side of the room. The Dirty Dancing soundtrack on the stereo...

Oh God! It's a hideous 80s nightmare! Help! Now I can afford proper wine, or single malt. My over-riding memory of parties when I were a lad is that my friends had appalling taste in music. It always seemed to be either the soundtracks of Grease and Dirty Dancing or Whitesnake. *shudder*

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Re: But

Whitesnake might be tolerated, malibu definately not. A friend used to drink malibu and coke until we had every bar in town refuse to serve him unless he shouted as loud as he could that he wanted a "girly and coke".

I do miss proper British pubs. They just aren't the same in the states, the booze and the atmosphere, nothing like a country pub. They can't even name ales correctly.

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Re: But

Ah, the days when 'lets go to the park' was synonymous with 'lets go get pissed'. Lambrini (or a cheaper knockoff) and 20/20 for the girls and some White Lightning or half a dozen cans of Carling for the lads. I guess I'll have to wait till I'm a pensioner unable to afford a roof over my head before I can get away with drinking in the park again.

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Re: But

As an underprivileged child growing up on the "F'all-to-do" Isle Of Wight, I often found myself drinking White Lighting (because its was 1.37 a liter) , and you are correct; This drink seriously hampers your ability to do anything, including playing pool!

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Re: But

Fibbles,

Mmmm. I'd forgotten about the 'delightful' taste of Lambrusco blush. Yum. Thanks for reminding me. I must have had weird tastebuds when I was a teenager. I drank Lambrusco for the ridiculous sweetness. And yet I often drank proper scrumpy. Which I now can't stand.

I notice Black Tower is now back on sale, so I can always satisfy nostalgia with a bottle of horrible white wine of some kind. But I think I'll give it a miss. The wine gums that say hoc are nice though...

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Linux

I used to love playing Beyond Dark Castle on my System 7 Macintosh Classic.

Oh, I quite like the Galaxy Tab too, it's a great product that is being marred by Apple's refusal to compete fairly in the Market instead of using the courts to compete in the market. Before someone starts ranting about copying and intellectual property fights. Just think, "standing on the shoulders of Giants" and "Apple Copy too".

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Beyond Dark Castle

I used to make him walk into walls on purpose because he would do that silly dizzy head-shaking sequence.

Ali

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jai
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<raises hand>

Yep i had a macally mouse at some point. While it was, and still is, true that if you need a second, physical mouse button to do something, then it isn't worth doing, that mouse did make it a bit easier to play Starcraft. (These days all Mac interfaces are multitouch, so it's no longer an issue).

AND i had one of those USB ports - and a printer in Bondi(ish) blue and white.

and what's not cool about Wierd Al?

Amish Paradise is a work of genius, especially the video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg

As is The Saga Begins - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEcjgJSqSRU

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Re: <raises hand>

Amish Paradise is, indeed, a work of genius but I was always confused as to whether the original might have been a parody in itself. Certainly I find it difficult to believe it was meant to be 100% serious.

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Re: <raises hand>

Weird Al is a genius, there are several songs where I find ymself singing his lyrics not the originals, Amish Paradise and Dirty Deeds spring to mind.

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Re: <raises hand>

>Amish Paradise and Dirty Deeds spring to mind

Dirty Deeds (Done With Sheep) is Bob Rivers, not Weird Al (and is far and away the best thing Bob Rivers has done - most times he doesn't even finish the song).

I know the words to Saga Begins, Amish Paradise and many more far better than the original songs. But then, I'm a somewhat excessive writer of parodies myself..

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Re: <raises hand>

Thanks for the correction. Did Weird Al cover the parody then? Or is it just widely (and erroneously) attributed to Weird Al?

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Re: <raises hand>

A lot of Bob Rivers songs tend to be attributed to Weird Al.

The general rule is, if you can't recognize Weird Al's voice, it's probably by Bob Rivers. Unlike Bob Rivers, Weird Al sings all his own songs.

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Re: <raises hand>

Perform This Way is a more recent example, although some people may not like the music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss_BmTGv43M

For no reason now,

I'll sing in French,

Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?

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Re: <raises hand>

Indeed, respect to Weird Al. Loved his take on Subterranean Homesick Blues with the Dylan/Ginsberg style video, but all the lines are palindromes*. Called, fittingly enough, "Bob".

* Note, doc I dissent. I diet on cod. A fast never prevents a fatness.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: <raises hand>

And this is Weird Al being awesome and cool all at the same time - "Bob"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nej4xJe4Tdg

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Re: <raises hand>

>A lot of Bob Rivers songs tend to be attributed to Weird Al.

I'd be a bit pissed off if I were Bob Rivers, because the ones attributed to Weird Al are the best of his songs.. he's done a humungous number of really rather poor to mediocre parodies, but a few that are outstanding tending towards genius. And it's a bit like some people have gone "that's way too good to be Bob Rivers, must be Weird Al instead" :-)

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Anonymous Coward

stargate atlantis

The notion of tablet devices has been around for decades and the fact they have rectangular screens and a bezel with more or fewer buttons and connectors has zero copycat association; mischievious for anyone lawyer or journo to suggest otherwise.

Stargate Atlantis (2004-2008) featured tablet devices heavily. There are also instances of hybrids I think, not so different to ASUS transformer and Surface. Chunkier than the iPad of 2010 or the Surface of 2012 but thats expected as technology shrinks. Cheeky of Apple to pretend they know nothing of SciFi.

Cool is in eye of the beholder. I suspect Judge Colin was teasing a little.

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Re: Star Trek TNG (1987-1994)

Star Trek TNG (1987-1994) featured tablet devices heavily.

It was nowhere near the first to feature them.

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Re: Star Trek TNG (1987-1994)

1968. 2001 : A Space Odyssey featured IBM Telepads (using the same moniker styling of the latter day Thinkpad brand).

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"In those five words, he saved the company from a lawsuit and utterly trashed its product in the public perception. Who’s going to want to get a ‘not cool’ tablet for Christmas?"

Anyone under the age of 18 is going to percieve anything a fuddy duddy old judge believes to be cool as exactly the opposite.

:-)

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Correction. Anyone under the age of 68.

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Facepalm

You can just seem the advertising strapline

Bill board with a HUGE picture of an iPad and the legend

Only a Judge could think it cool

They aren't even going to need to put their own product on the ad.

There are a million and one variations and in everyone Apple get to look like a total tit and yet won't have a leg to stand on.

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