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back to article Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Haggis pakora v huevos rancheros

It's been more than a month on the salads and with our necks in the fruit bowl for the Special Projects Bureau's elite post-pub nosh deathmatch team, following the mealy pudding v migas clash of titans. We reckon our arteries have recovered sufficiently to make another foray into the calorie-packed world of nourishment designed …

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Haggis in a tin?

'Premium' haggis in a tin? Eugh!

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Re: Haggis in a tin?

Indeed. If it isn't stuffed into a sheep's stomach, it isn't haggis.

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Re: Haggis in a tin?

Maybe it was a cyborg sheep?

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Re: Haggis in a tin?

Its basically dog food. And then only if you can't afford the cheap stuff at lidel.

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Re: Haggis in a tin?

"Premium haggis in a tin" seems like the very definition of an oxymoron.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Haggis in a tin?

it's not so bad.

But then when I was at a certain Scottish university in the 1980s, for a few months my lunch was a supersize Mars bar and a 500ml can of Coke. And at the weekend I got by on a tin of stovies mixed with a tin of spuds - simple one pot cooking.

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Pint

""Premium haggis in a tin" seems like the very definition of an oxymoron."

Whut wid ye ken aboot it, ye Southron jessie? Ye widnae last five seconds in the Highlands. Ye'd be found deid, yir heart stopped and yir hair turned white as snow, after ye hear the terrifyin' wail of the haggis as it skirls across the moors!

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Re: ""Premium haggis in a tin" seems like the very definition of an oxymoron."

Is there a Feegle in the house?

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Pint

Expenses

At least we now know why the bar bill was so high - clearly because of all the emergency beers to counter chilli/haggis poisoning!

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Damn

Those huevos look good.

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Re: Damn

Proper huevos rancheros are made with pico de gallo leftover from last night.

A big breakfast for two: The night before, take two 2 large tomatos, chopped, half a red or white onion, diced, three or four small radishes and one Jalapeno & one Serrano, fine diced. Three or four green/spring onions (scallions?), sliced into 3/8ths inch slices. Throw in the zest & juice of one lime, and a small handful of cilantro leaves (coriander leaves to you brits). I sometimes substitute fresh oregano for the cilantro, and one or three epazote leaves adds a background note that most folks can't figure out. Add salt & pepper to taste. Leave it covered on the counter overnight, do NOT refrigerate it or you'll kill the tomato flavo(u)r.

The next morning, strain the veggie liquid into a small container and reserve. Put the salsa into a skillet, and bring up to a simmer. Cook for a couple minutes, or longer if you want the veggies to break down more. One at a time, crack four eggs into a ladle[1], and make divots in the simmering salsa with the ladle, and pour the egg into the divot. Salt & pepper to taste, and poach eggs to desired doneness.

Serve with proper bacon, streaky bacon, sausage of choice, or whatever. I often have a small portion of "spanish rice" & black beans with this. For utensils, instead of knife & fork, use warm corn or flour tortillas ... but on the side, so they don't get soggy. Use the reserved strained liquid as hot sauce ... or break out your favorite hot sauce[2].

To drink: mixed citrus juice[3]. The night before, squeeze five or seven oranges, a couple meyer lemons, a couple limes, and a grapefruit or two into a glass pitcher. Add strawberries, stone-fruit, apples, mangoes, pineapple and etc. in any combination. Refrigerate overnight. Serve over ice, with fresh cut mint. And of course, always fresh roasted & ground coffee.

[1] Always crack eggs on a flat surface, unless you actually like bits of eggshell driven into your eggs.

[2] The wife & I often use this variation on the theme, mixed 50/50 with the strained veg juice for this meal.

[3] If it's a "day off brunch", a good dry, crisp sparkling white wine[4] or clean pale ale works alongside the coffee. Or spike the fruit punch with a little vodka or rum ;-)

[4] For Gawd/ess's sake, NEVER ruin good wine by mixing it with fruit juice!

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Our chip shops (Edinburgh) sell deep fried battered spicy haggis as well as the standard (premium?) stuff similarly attired. Would like to see it in spicy batter with curry sauce, mmm.

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No fair on Lester...

As a resident of the haggis munching country, I should also react to the tinned variety, but as Lester says, it's not easy to come by, so the tinned variety was a necessary shortcut.

I still don't like the idea of deep frying after drinking...

One thing of which I'm sure is

Don't try to cook, when you've been out on the piss...

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Hey fact fans....

In Scotland, deep frying after you've been out drinking is known as. "Partick Roulette".

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Yum Yum

Both look extremely tasty. I'm surprised you couldn't get coriander (cilantro), it's a staple of Mexican food so I thought it would be available in Spain... depends on which part of Spain, I guess!

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Re: Yum Yum

It's just the local town. I can sometimes get it on a Monday, at the market, but that's about it.

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Re: Yum Yum

...and to think people whinge on about Tesco.

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Re: Yum Yum

Thought that was a bit odd myself. We can get coetro in Portugal no probs. Would have thought cilantro would have been easy enough in Spain....

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Re: Yum Yum

I saw you list fresh coriander and I wondered where in Spain you found it. I live in a major city and I can't recall the last time I saw it for sale, either in a supermarket or in a greengrocer's. I suppose following the comment about its use in Mexican food I could try the Mexican stall in the central market.

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jai
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damn i'm hungry now

Those both look fantastic. How soon can you deliver?

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Here in the USA

We are haggis free apart from the tinned variety. There is an import ban on meats containing offal from the UK due to CJD/BSE (complete nonsense). Some locals have claimed to produce the wonderful stuff but unfortunately they don't compare to a decent MacSweens or indeed a Halls for that matter.

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Re: Here in the USA

Unfortunately, Hall's is (probably) no more

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-18733890

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Re: Here in the USA

Bugger...

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Re: Here in the USA

Shame - one of the few countries where BSE would raise the IQ.

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Re: Here in the USA

I make proper Haggis[1] whenever I slaughter lambs/sheep ... like most peasant foods, it's inexpensive, easy to make, and quite tasty. It's also available on "black" menues across most of the US where Scots settled, if you know where & how to ask[2]. But tinned haggis? Are you insane? Blargh ...

Foie gras is also still readily available on the underground here in California[3], despite recent legislation. Legislation can't ban things that people (think) they are addicted to. See: Prohibition ... or the totally useless anti- recreational-drug[4] legislation in the nation of your choice.

[1] I learned how when I lived on the Applecross Peninsula in Scotland.

[2] Don't ask me where to find it, I make my own ;-)

[3] Likewise, don't ask me, I don't like Foie ... Wild duck livers, when lightly smoked with applewood, on the other hand, is mega-tasty :-)

[4] Again, don't ask me ... Rather than hide from it, I get high on big chunks of life.

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IT Angle

Re: Here in the USA

Many years ago my mother succeeded in getting 2 dozen 'Scotch Pies' through customs at Newark Airport for a Scottish convention in the Big Apple, despite this 'ban'. The ape at the desk quizzed her as to the ingredients as the labelling was (deliberately) vague. She feigned ignorance and they let her through. Do all Merkins associate pie with fruit or something?

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Re: Here in the USA

"There is an import ban on meats containing offal from the UK due to CJD/BSE (complete nonsense)"

The Yanks banned sheep offal because of BSE? Do they know what the B stands for?

Have they also missed their own cases of BSE?

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Next up, Hog Maw?

If you're going to give time to haggis (indeed to tinned haggis), I think you should consider the Pennsylvania Dutch specialty Hog Maw.. Take one hog maw, cleaned, and stuff it with loose sausage, diced potatoes, salt and pepper, then roast in the oven till done. If you need to get in there and fight for thrombosis points, you can save some for the next day, slice it in rounds, and fry it.

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Re: Next up, Hog Maw?

I like it. Consider it added to the list.

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These are all warm-up acts

I can't wait for Lester's hákarl versus surströmming death-match.

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Re: These are all warm-up acts

Ah yes, surströmming and hákarl. Let's get this straight - I'm not eating them, and I have no intention of getting deported for exposing innocent Spaniards to either.

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Mushroom

Re: These are all warm-up acts

Surströmming....wonderful stuff. Must admit though the haggis pakora looks good. Will also have to agree with another poster that one of the joys of visiting Scotland was deep fried battered haggis in curry sauce...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: These are all warm-up acts

If you like your food rotten, try huitlacoche versus hundred-year egg.

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Mushroom

Huevas Ranchero: fond memories

Some 20 years ago, I was sent to California to debug someone else's code for a Data General machine (Eclipse IIRC - different numbers for byte or word addressing was the problem). I used to have Huevos Ranchero at my hotel for breakfast, but it also came with chilli beef and refried beans! It set me up for the day of fighting this stuff which was lucky to run on any machine...

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Haggis samosa..

is the way to go.

Just haggis as a filling for a samosa. Really.. it's amazing. But not haggis out of a tin... that's blasphemous. And none of yer added ingredients. Haggis. Pastry. Fry. Eat. Collapse clutching left arm.

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Huevos rancheros por favor

The best thing you can do with haggis is put it in a tin; that way you can post it to someone you dislike.

Huevos rancheros on the other hand - particularly if there are, say, some refried beans, some chili, and maybe some sweet peppers to hand, is an elixir of the gods.

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(Written by Reg staff) Bronze badge

Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

Stop banging on about the haggis you lot. There's no way to legally get a proper haggis sent over here, so we made do with what we could get.

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Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chireta

"Chireta is an Aragonese type of haggis...."

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Re: Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

Cue chireta pakora?

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Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

"...we made do with what we could get."

Nice to see that the true spirit of adventure lives on in post-pub nosh.

A small quantity of Dave's Insanity Sauce can come in handy on such occasions.

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Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

@LH 15:25.

What's illegal with sticking the haggis in a jiffy bag and sending it to Spain? I think I'm going to have to rethink how my Marmite gets sent.

Butifarra negre is the Catalan version of haggis. Round where you are the closest thing is Morcilla, but not Morcilla de Burgos which has rice in it. And there aren't many fans of spicy food in Spain, when all's said and done it's quite bland.

P.S. For the Merkins commenting in this thread about Huevos Rancheros, Spain is not in Latin America.

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JDC

Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

Can't you just buy the Marmite in the supermarket? Round my way Carrefour stocks it.

You can get haggis from the www.thefoodhall.es - not in a tin. No idea how good it is though!

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Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

Carrefour's on the blacklist, they seem incapable of programming the prices on their tills properly. Although now you've said that I might pop in one day and have a look for Marmite.

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Re: Huevos rancheros por favor

Carrefour's improved massively recently, they also stock London Pride. And Carling Black Label, but I'll forgive them for that.

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But Haggis in a sheeps stomach is freely available

From Morrisons, Asda & all "good" supermarkets

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Re: But Haggis in a sheeps stomach is freely available

... in a Spanish provincial Asda?

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(Written by Reg staff) Bronze badge

Re: Re: But Haggis in a sheeps stomach is freely available

No, the Spanish *province* of Asda - formerly known as the province of Malaga, until the Brits moved in.

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Chinese pub grub

The true kings of dubious-food-with-booze have got to be the Chinese. Some of the snacks I have had there were truly disturbing, and definitely only worth trying with a liberal serving of (cheap nasty) beer.

May I suggest:

Fried chicken feet (popular snack. Fry with chilli and spices; suck skin and meat off bones)

Stinky tofu (deep fried mature mouldy tofu. The Chinese equivalent of blue cheese. You can easily smell a stinky tofu stand a couple of streets away, and will almost certainly gag from just the smell the first time you experience it. The smell was described by my lovely better half as 'like old period')

Then of course there's many varieties of mystery meat onna stick, but those can only really be experienced from a dodgy unlicensed food stand.

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Coat

Re: Chinese pub grub

"mystery meat onna stick" - provided by CMOT Dib Lah?

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Re: Chinese pub grub

Hmm, Stinky Tofu sounds appealing - how hungry do you have to be before you'll eat the stuff?

Laughing and gagging at the same time!

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