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back to article Larry Ellison buys island 1000x bigger than Branson's

Billionaire CEO Larry Ellison has fulfilled the dream of mega-rich folks everywhere: he has just bought his very own island. Lanai island in Hawaii If you like piña colada... Credit: Hawaii Tourism Authority/Pierce M Myers Photography The Oracle chief has snapped up the sixth-largest island in Hawaii, Lanai, in a deal with …

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On Lanai island, the Sun will now slowly dim and eventually peter out altogether, leaving the formerly loyal and happy islanders in complete darkness forever.

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And any mention of fusion

brings on the clouds...

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IT Angle

Maybe...

...but at least he will have somewhere to park the yacht.

http://http.cdnlayer.com/itke/blogs.dir/104/files/2009/02/larry-ellisons-yacht-sm.jpg

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Re: Maybe...

He sold that yacht a couple of years ago. Not to me.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Maybe...

I bought it. It was right knackered inside - got through so much carpet shampoo getting rid of all the bloody dog hair. And it still smells funny.

And how the hell do you end up with cigarette burns on the toilet seat? I mean, come on.

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WTF?

Re: Maybe...

That rat bastard! He promised ME the first shot at it. Buggers!!

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You live and learn

"a businessman whose record of community involvement in medical research and education causes is equally notable"

I always tended to think of Larry Ellison as very much the antithesis of Google's 'do no evil', oh well that's me wrong on that one then.

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Re: You live and learn

Hey, they never said his "involvement" was beneficial...

In Italy the Mafia are notably involved in a lot of things.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You live and learn

No, you were right the first time. The foundations were set up as part of a settlement with the government for some insider trading Larry did back in the day.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13569367/ns/business-us_business/t/ellison-settles-suit-million-gift/#.T-L9xqGHUaM

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Devil

Re: "the antithesis of Google's 'do no evil'"

Sure he is. But that's only because you misunderstood both Ellison and Google's relationship with evil.

They both enjoy a fair bit of evil (you don't get to make billions in any other way, you know), but Ellison has never tried to pass himself off as anything other than a ruthlessly efficient capitalist. The warm fuzzy image that Google generally tries to project is fundamentaly dishonest.

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Stop

Meanwhile on Branson's island..

Branson has his island to himself.

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Re: Meanwhile on Branson's island..

Yup. That's what I'm thinking. Buying land that's too large gets you too much you can't control.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Meanwhile on Branson's island..

So what you're saying is, you can carpet bomb Branson's place without fear of injuring innocent bystanders? He'd make a terrible evil overlord.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Meanwhile on Branson's island..

Larry needed the 88,000 acres to keep his ego afloat....

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Re: Meanwhile on Branson's island..

The thing about islands is that the bigger they get the less islandy they become. I mean I live on an island but since it's an entire continent you'd never know.

Dammit, I see where this is going. Ellison's ego won't be satisfied until he buys a

Australia.

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Alert

Look out Lanai!

"...looking forward to partnering with the people of Lanai to chart the island's future,"

Just out of interest, when you're made redundant from your position as "person of an island", what happens next?

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Vulcano, submarine dock etc

Well, Ellison looks much more like a Bond villain than Branson, so it's only right he has the larger island.

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Go

Re: Vulcano, submarine dock etc

"Well, Ellison looks much more like a Bond villain than Branson, so it's only right he has the larger island."

Yes but Branson looks very much like Hank Scorpio

"Homer, what's your least favourite country, Italy or France?"

"France"

<moves giant laser>"heh heh, no-one ever says Italy.."

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JDX
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$500m

That seems like peanuts for such a big property.

Will the locals' taxes go to him - how does it work if you own an island with people on it?

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Re: $500m

He needed the Google fine awarded to supplement the deal. Otherwise he could not afford it, at all.

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Re: $500m

> Will the locals' taxes go to him - how does it work if you own an island with people on it?

Will you need to buy a support contract to get your bins emptied?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: $500m

"how does it work if you own an island with people on it?"

Ask Prince Charles (I forget his other bullshit titles), he still owns lots of serfs in Cornwall and Devon.

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Ru

Re: "Will the locals' taxes go to him"

If he owns the land, he can presumably collect rent from its occupants (except those with freeholds or some sort of existing lease arrangement which precludes that sort of thing). Technically it isn't tax, but the end result looks much the same to the people who have to pay it.

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Boffin

Re: $500m

"Will the locals' taxes go to him?" Why should it? After all, if I own an apartment block and the land that it's built on, they still pay their taxes to the government, not to me. The people living there would pay rent to him (I guess for examples teh hotels would have some sort of lease payment that would go to him), but any state taxes would still go to Hawaii and federal taxes to Uncle Sam.

On the topic of selling islands though... I think the Greeks are missing a trick, they could sell a hundred or so of their thousands of mostly uninhabited or sparsely inhabited islands to bring their debt down a bit

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Anonymous Coward

Re: $500m

> Will the locals' taxes go to him - how does it work if you own an island with people on it?

That's just what he needs: "All hail Lord Ellison!" (saluted by turning around and dropping trousers).

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Re: $500m

The trouble is that too many of them are just off the coast... of Turkey.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: $500m

The locals won't just require a support contract, you can bet your life there'll some funky-arsed way of calculating the cost. Number of adults x number of kids + number of spanners in a sit-chrome toolkit etc.

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I've seen this show...

Do you think he'll bring in polar bears and creepy science guys?

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Terminator

Re: I've seen this show...

Don't know about the bears but there have been reports of experiments at a remote lab in the jungle and talk among the locals of the dead rising once again. (They have also found a dead shark with human bite marks on it).

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Re: I've seen this show...

And have Branson's flying toys mysteriously fall out of the sky and onto the island?

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Eeep!

Larry's got an extinct volcano to call his own. Has anyone checked if any of our nuclear submarines have gone missing?

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Does he own the people too?

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He doesn't own people, he owns *minions*.

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Pirate

Owning an island is so last century

What you actually want is one of these

http://www.firebox.com/product/4893/Project-Utopia

"Measuring 100m in length and breadth, and spanning over 11 luxed-out decks, there is enough room on Project Utopia to create an entire micro-nation. It’s ideal for ocean-going megalomaniacs bent on world domination. And you needn’t worry about puking on your Nehru jacket because this floating behemoth is designed for minimum motion, even in the most extreme sea conditions"

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Re: Owning an island is so last century

8% Quidco cash back too - that's the deal breaker! ;-)

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sixth-largest island

if only oracle won against google, he could have afforded something a bit bigger

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Re: sixth-largest island

"Australia is an island, right?"

"No sir, it's a continent"

"Tomayto, tomarto"

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Re: sixth-largest island

If you want to look at it from that angle, then all of the continents are islands.

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Black Helicopters

Voting time

Forget the islands, which one has the dodgiest facial topiary?

<-- Private black helicopter. Every billionaire private island needs one.

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Headmaster

Real Units

I make that 1/57 of Wales or about 51,000 football pitches.

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Congratulations

Well done Larry! Feel happy for you, and hope you enjoy it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Congratulations

Careful! your tongue might get stuck in that position.

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In other news

Larry Ellison has also bought himself a white cat and several sharks (for performance review purposes).

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Who needs a sub when you have a jet

It has an airport as well. The single Google Maps review describes the customer service at the airport as "Horrible".

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Larry thinks big...

you have to give him that. He has never been one for half measures.

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Anonymous Coward

Business opportunities here...

...for manufacturers of pastel-coloured jumpsuits as worn by legions of disposable henchmen, jeeps with frame-mounted squad weapons, said henchmen for the use of, etc, etc. And don't forget the fricking lasers for shark-mounting.

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Anonymous Coward

Now he's just got to get it like he wants it.

So at great expense, with many experts holding large amounts of knowledge of it, who know all the little intracacies of this massive and overcomplicated ecosystem, and charge a fortune, will fix the problems, and get it all as it is wanted, and no doubt there will be ridiculously overpriced links to the outside world, as extras, not to mention having to pay a fortune for extra ways of touring its features.

But enough about oricle (tm).

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Mushroom

A volcanic Island?

How Dr No, real super villains build their lairs in space, bet Larry gets the chair over the airlock at the next MUSK INDUSTRIES DomCom Summit.

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