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back to article Ten... pieces of tat for Apple fanboys

Apple fans are known to take their obsession to extremes. While that often means queuing outside the Apple store for days ahead of a new product release, some push the boat out further with accessories, clothes, and even tattoos. Because telling someone you have an iPhone is never enough. Now that Apple fans have a place to …

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Silver badge

I do rather like Woz's specs. The rest- no ta.

Looking at the collection of circular icons on my taskbar, I think that some Google Chrome or Google Earth shades might work, too! Or maybe some El Reg WTF?-icon sunglasses.

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Anonymous Coward

Woz's specs

Specs? That should be iGlasses, no?

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Re: Woz's specs

I wish Apple was actually run by Woz, they'd actually be cool then - but alas probably bankrupt too as he'd no doubt piss all the money up the wall on a joke product like giant Segway riding, lazer wielding robots.

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Re: Woz's specs

Yeah because it was nothing but sunshine and lollipops at apple when jobs first left but woz was there. Quite frankly I don't know if he's done much other than collect an apple pay check over the years.

I know jobs is just too cool and any true hipster has to be a woz fan but your comment is based in reality at all.

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Silver badge

Re: Woz's specs

"Yeah because it was nothing but sunshine and lollipops at apple when jobs first left but woz was there"

This is not entirely true, and even if it were, it would not have been down to Woz, as he had already given up all management responsibilities a couple of years before Steve Jobs got booted out. While Woz did remain on the company's staff, it was in an engineering role.

Jobs's insistence on making everything from the ground up nearly destroyed Apple the first time around, and following his dismissal, the company had much better fortunes until Microsoft started to gain a real stranglehold on the enterprise market in the early 1990s.

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Does the Steve Jobs figure come with a variable sized mid-section extras so you can act out his final years with complete accuracy?

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g e
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Joke

Most excellent!

Every fanboi that checks through that list will come across one of the items and think...

Yeah that's awful tat but you know, that one thing is actually kinda cool, I might just order it...

BWAHAHAHAA!

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JDX
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Re: Most excellent!

I'm not a fanboi but I thought some were cool!

The cufflinks really need to fasten magnetically though.

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Re: Most excellent!

Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Tell us all you're joshing, surely?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Most excellent!

Cuff-links aren't cool - fact.

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Re: Most excellent!

No way in hell, I would rather have my testicles removed with a pair of pliers than buy any of that tat. (ok maybe not, but still Nooo)

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Boffin

Re: Most excellent!

(Movie) Jame Bond would disagree with you about cufflinks in general.

These cufflinks in particular -- I see that they're open source, with the CAD and software files hosted on github.

Just how did you miss that opportunity for ironic commentarding?

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Facepalm

Marketing clothes to fanbois

Easy. You launch the black T-shirt. They all buy it. Then you launch the white one. They all buy it. Then you launch v2 (the one that works, because it has a hole for your head) in black. They all buy it. Then you launch v2 in white. They all buy it. Then you launch v3 (slighly more rounded neck opening) in black. They all buy it, Then you launch v3 in white. They all buy it. Shiny black. Shiny white. Any goddam tiny change you want - the mugs will queue for hours to be amongst the first ten thousand to have one.

Meanwhile you patent the T-shirt and sue Marks and Spencer.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Marketing clothes to fanbois

You Sir win 1,000,000 internets. Can I have a new keyboard please? I spat out coke all over it when I read the bit about T-Shirt v2) :-D

Rob

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Anonymous Coward

The power-button cufflinks are not apple-specific. This is the universal symbol for a power-button !

Unless of course Apple thinks they invented either power or buttons !

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... light pulses to immitate the power button on a mac ...

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but Apple did invent power buttons.

And Australia, the concept of hyperbole and Chris Moyles.

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"either power or buttons"

or?!! OR?!!

You rob Apple off at least one important invention they are entitle to!

p.s. also the title has misspelled "fanboi"

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Anonymous Coward

Unless of course Apple thinks they invented either power or buttons

No no no.... crApple KNOW they invented everything and that all the other manufacturers are ripping them off.

Rounded corners never existed before crApple invented them.

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Unhappy

Oh dear...

I really like my Macbook Pro & I really like my, now 10 year old, Power Mac G4 and I'm kinda drawn to the cufflinks and the earrings in a bad way!

I really need help, don't I!

Oh dear...

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Thumb Up

Just visit your doctor...

He or she will simply prescribe a few months of "Windows therapy" - probably something like two months of being forced to use Windows 95 without USB drivers. That'll soon cure you!

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Re: Just visit your doctor...

Yes, and no Windows CD-ROM either - now try changing your IP settings!

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Trollface

Just don't try sticking those magnets on a Samsung fridge. Not unless you like the prospect of being dragged into court by Apple's lawyers for copying their 'look and feel'.

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Anonymous Coward

I can just imagine

A nation of 30yr old iPhone owning virgins, still living at home with mumsie and daddy with that iPhone bedspread.

EPIC.

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Re: I can just imagine

I couldn't help notice it seems to be the single bed variety...

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Re: I can just imagine

Although presumably it is multi-touch ?

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jai
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cufflinks

i've been wanting those cufflinks for ages now since they were first announced. screw you lot, i think they're damn cool, okay! :)

but they're always quite expensive really so i just can't justify them to myself. they'll eat far too much into my savings-up for the next iPhone....

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Silver badge

Re: cufflinks

You could just buy the Dell Cufflinks. They are exactly the same but cost less. :P

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Unhappy

Re: cufflinks

they'll eat far too much into my savings-up for the next iPhone....

Is it just me, or is there nothing more depressing than a wannabe fanboi on a budget?

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Meh

Re: cufflinks

it's you :)

The true fanbois sell kidneys and stuff.

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Re: cufflinks

Financial responsibility is a good thing and probably why he's not up to his neck in debt and only able to afford some POS android phone.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: cufflinks

Fanboi financial responsibility eh? The FACTS tell a different story:

http://www.moneysavingspy.com/news/270721-Study-shows-iPhone-owners-go-into-debt-more-than-Android-owners

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iCufflinks

I bought a pair to wear on my wedding day last month... They are really nicely made and I personally think they look pretty cool.

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404
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Trollface

Re: iCufflinks

You're defying Apple conventional wisdom...

Fanbois Shouldn't Breed.

;)

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Re: iCufflinks

Don't worry, they aren't.

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Re: Don't worry, they aren't.

Aren't what? cool or breeding? (wasn't sure which message you were repliying to).

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Anonymous Coward

What

you think he married a woman?

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Slow news day?

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Bronze badge

Yes, pure click-bait*

*Self-awareness disclosure: I clicked on the story, then I clicked on the comments to see what the Regtards** had done down there.

** Regtard disclosure: I am Admiral Grace Hopper and I am a Regtard. I have been a Regtard for many years now. I have tried to give it up many times, but I must be an addict.

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Childcatcher

Poor Caleb,

What happened to you to destroy any sense of fun you might once have had?

Steve

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Anonymous Coward

Haaa how nice

Looking forward to a review of those plastic action toy robots, plushes and cell phones straps sold to us Android fans!

I never quite know which ones to choose.

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Linux

Re: Haaa how nice

Ah, a little cuddly Andy to sleep with.

Tux, because he is a better fanboi dream.

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Anonymous Coward

Got the fridge magnets ...

just had to get those for a couple of quid from fleaBay along with a Macbook Air compact mirror and iPhone notepad. Classic stocking fillers.

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Bronze badge

Re: Macbook Air compact mirror

Obvioulsy not a complete fanboi, otherwise you'd have a iphone4 and use the front facing camera as a mirror.

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J 3
Gimp

Meh...

The NotPad or whatnot actually seems like a reasonably funny joke. And that Jobs figurine actually looks much more like U2's Bono to me, but I guess it cuts on costs...

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Anonymous Coward

You forgot...

Any Mac

Any iPod

Any iPhone

Any iMac

Any MacBook

Any iPad

Lol

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Coat

Another idea

How about a giant blue broken lego brick poof to sit on while browsing the internet, wondering why some sites just display a blank page with a broken blue lego brick...

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Coffee/keyboard

Cook Teaser

You owe me a keyboard for coining "Cook Teaser"

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Linux

Well if it makes them happy in their sad empty lives then why not?

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Happy

A fandroids nightmare

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Doesn't hurt for a company to have a bit of cult status.

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