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back to article Ten... Father's Day gifts

While it could be a confusing day for chavs across the country and many of us wouldn't pick up the phone let alone buy a gift, we're all reminded to show appreciation to our dads this Sunday. But with several of the El Reg team fathering new offspring this year, we reckon he should be treated to something special, particularly …

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Silver badge

No matter how hard I hint, I always get given a shirt and always the same designer brand, for Christmas, birthdays and occasions always the same designer brand, STDF.

'Shirts That Don't Fit'!

When will they take the hints? I'm a man for goodness sake I want gadgets, gadget do you hear!

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Anonymous Coward

A wrist massager? You big girls blouse, I want the drone!

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Silver badge

Can I have a the last one with a slight change

shooting up bankers in a used bank?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Can I have a the last one with a slight change

I doubt your bank actually contains any bankers. Shooting up lobotomised "graduates" who can't even tie their own shoelaces doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Coat

To revisit an old meme

In Capitalist America, bankers shooting up...

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FAIL

"Acupressure"? Really?

"The Lifemax Dreamate ... aims to help relaxation by gently massaging acupressure points."

So a "vibrating watch" that does ABSOLUTELY NOTING AT ALL for £60. Shame on you, El Reg!

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Re: "Acupressure"? Really?

But it comes with a free pot of snake oil!

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WTF?

I dread to think what kind of pocket money my padawan would expect before I saw any of these on fathers day.

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Every list

OK, its nice to look at some of these, but two points:

1) Why does every list like this always come out just when its too late to order any of the stuff on it in time?

2) Is there anyone on here who has EVER dropped more than about £20 on a father's day gift?

oh, and 3) James Chaldecott - I couldn't agree more. What next? The Placebo watch? Realigns your spiritual bio-energy WHILE YOU SLEEP, only £2500

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Re: Every list

To be fair I already got a Galaxy S3 (blue!) yesterday though that was possibly more serendipity in the timing of my Voda contract upgrade, methinks.

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dilapidated shopping centre in Reading

Same as ANY shopping centre in Reading

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Anonymous Coward

Controversial

Chavs confused all over the country? Did Peter Hitchens write this?! :-)

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Facepalm

You missed one of the bestest FD gifts, I asked for...

The new Jaguar XKR-S

Fat chance of getting it, of course :oD

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Anonymous Coward

Ok, show of hands

Anyone getting their dad a £200 excercise watch this year for Father's Day?

No, me neither

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Re: Ok, show of hands

Nope, it'll be a bottle of gin as per usual.

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Anonymous Coward

they suck

big time.

sorry.

let's see... something useful, because, really, spending money on shit would be a great insult to my daddy-like sense of economical-awareness. So if my kids were to listen.... headphones, by this unpronounceable, German-sounding, China-made, Romania-assembled, UK-stamped ("made in the EU") makers... 30 quid. Yes, it's not Mercedes 1970 style, but if I'm a f... audiophile, _I_ chose my kit, not my kids. If I'm not - 30 quid job by the Shitheizer will do, and then I can play my Operation Flashpoint AD 2002 and my wife will watch her unwatchable sitcoms, a real twofor. And yes, they do do them for about this money, and they do not sound like a pair of coke cans. Apparently. I just can't be arsed to find that at one of the amazon-like sites. So,kids, here's the specs, go fetch.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: they suck

Anybody else know what all that was about?

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Re: they suck

I think it was the standard "I don't want any of this so no one else should either" rant.

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Coffee/keyboard

"a confusing day for chavs across the country"

Thanks El Reg, that's made my day. I'm lucky ThinkPad keyboards are (relatively) spill proof.

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FAIL

Ouch these gifts are pricey

My Dad's getting a bottle of Champagne and a card and he'll be pleased to get them.

What the hell was the author thinking? Most of these are £200+

Journalism clearly pays a lot better than IT. You lot can get the drinks in next time.

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Re: Ouch these gifts are pricey

Champagne costs £200 btw

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Re: Ouch these gifts are pricey

Well - maybe for a recently disgorged vintage Krug...

Bless him - he's not getting that.

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Anonymous Coward

Confused chavs

classic, that brightened up an otherwise dull Friday morning!

Well done.

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Childcatcher

Fathers day

Are we supposed to get them gifts?

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Go

Toblerone

That's all I'm getting, same as last year.

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Happy

Re: Toblerone

Yup... same here as well as potentially a hand drawn card. Last year was a key-ring from Tesco's and a small bottle of Single Malt which I loved.

Mothers Day / Fathers Day's are really "Hallmark Holiday". No need to go stupid and spend £200 for something (which is what this article was suggesting).

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Bronze badge

I wish!

I wish my kids would spend this much on me. I'll be lucky if I get a cup of tea from the little blighters!

On the flip side, I must remember to swing by the petrol station to see if there are any damaged/reduced Father's day cards...

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Anonymous Coward

Who wrote this? Is their dad gay?

Floor polisher? Is that a euphemism?

e-reader with a poovey pastel padded cover? (real mean don't read, unless it's a Haynes manual spotted with axle grease)

i-phone add-ons? aren't iphones for pooves?

as others have already pointed out, a wrist vibrator? For stress? Wopuldn't rather have a crate of Guinness and a box set of Russ Meyer films with the lads round, then?

A Sat-Nav? Don't you know how to read an AA map from 1974, then?

Headphones so we don't disturb the neighbours? Hows about a Motorhead DVD with the home cinema turned up to 11*

What was left from your list? A jogging watch? Jog on, ladies.

where's the footplate ride on a steam engine, bungee jump, paintball session...

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It's a pretty poor list isn't it, things cost £400 which have a tendency to fly off on their own and never been seen again, vibrating wrist watches...

I was hoping for a little inspiration, but all I got was a little bit of my time wasted.

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Anonymous Coward

Give him something cheap

Unfortunately I don't have a Dad any more as he suddenly died a couple of years ago.

If you are lucky enough to still have a Dad, save your money and give him a hug.

No, really. Forget that stupid handshake thing, this stuff matters - often when it's way too late.

For that matter, forget being British for a while and hug everyone you love, just in case you don't see them again.

Sorry about that, back to coding....

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Anonymous Coward

bah

get 'em a Maxwell's Fishpond instead. Or plans of how to make one, they're not that hard.

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Yawn

See title

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Pint

What bollocks

1). If my kids spent that kind of money on me .... where do you think they would have got the money from in the first place?

2) If anyone in our house throws away that kind of dosh on that load of old tat, god help them!

3). I'll have a handmade card and a bottle of Talisker, thanks.

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Anonymous Coward

Most of that stuff is just tat / junk and realistically where are the kids getting almost £500 quit for a robot hoover?? If my kids got me a Kobo I'd question their love - no just kidding.

Most dads have the stuff they want or the kids could not afford the stuff they really want but can't quite justify and would be happy with a few cups of tea, perhaps a nice family meal out (or in) with no squabbling and perhaps (as someone else mentioned) a few hugs! ;)

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Glad you're not my kid. Try one of these:

1.Macallan 18 yr.

http://www.themacallan.com/shop/detail.asp?pid=841614

2. Wireless TV headphones, so I can watch loud movies without bothering your mum. RF not IR so I can turn my head without losing the signal. Sony or Sennheiser, don't worry about the sound fidelity, worry about any delay to the sound. Music headphones I'll buy for myself, because you'll foolishly try to anticipate my tastes for "retro" for a time you never lived through.

3. Propellor Starter Kit

http://www.parallax.com/

4. Samsung Galaxy Tablet 10.1 preloaded with Jack Vance ebooks:

http://www.samsung.com/global/microsite/galaxytab/10.1/index.html

http://www.jackvance.com/

5. A pan of brownies, first one served up warm with ice cream.

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IT Angle

I had to buy it for myself

Shooting zombies? In a shopping mall?? Dawn of the Dead-gasm time!!!

Thank you for the pointer. Pity the price on wish.co.uk is twenty quid more than given here, but I've waited 34 years for this, and it hasn't put me off - the evident popularity may be why it's more now...

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