back to article London picked as test bed for Skynet-like Intel tech

London will be a guinea pig for future smart city technology after Intel pledged to spend a slice of £25m ($40m) on a new lab in the capital. The chipmaker will also plough millions into research centres dotted around Blighty. Intel will set up the unwieldily monikered Collaborative Research Institute for Sustainable Connected …

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Anonymous Coward

So when this thing goes haywire...

We can just quarantine the island right?

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Mushroom

Re: So when this thing goes haywire...

No, we must take off, and nuke the site from orbit... It's the only way to be sure.

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Coat

Did they just do that?

Surely that lab will very, very quickly be christened CRISCo? Is this really what they want?

GJC

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Happy

Re: Did they just do that?

Exactly my thought! I'm too busy to think of a witticism involving frying, though.

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Gibberish

"to make the city more aware" - I wasn't aware (sorry) that the city is a sentient being.

"use real-time data to predict the effect of weather" - cold means trafic's going to be a mess, wet means traffic's going to be a mess, hot means traffic's going to be a mess.

Job done.

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Happy

Dear intel

please locate the new labs in places with reasonable access to beaches, hills, countryside, ...

This makes for a more accurate development environment yes?

St Andrews

Whitby

Edinburg

seem spot on to me

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Is it just me...

...or does anyone else get the impression that there are unnamed corpses out there in the woods, whose last view of this world was the cold depths of George Osborne's soulless eyes?

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Pint

ICL?

Thought they were Fujitsu now. does this mean that Intel are going to relaunch DRS6000? Any one else in Local Gov will get that reference.

Beer because the above server will drive you to drink

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FAIL

spiralling into decline..

You didn't start the article with 'RotM'

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Unhappy

Yet another reason to avoid London at all costs, and seriously think of emigrating to somewhere nice like, oh I don't know... Syria maybe.

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Joke

Intel CTO Justin Rattner also said....

...."that the London Olympic games would give the firm a great opportunity to look at a city under pressure and figure out where the weak points are."

News item on 1st Sept 2012.

We looked at London during the Olympics and decided there was too much risk of failure, so we decided to go with Mogadishu in Somalia as they seem to have a more stable population. We would also pay less in taxation than in the UK.

P.S. Is this the same Rattner that said their products were crap and only fit for chavs?

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Anonymous Coward

Gerald not Justin

PS. It was Gerald Ratner, CEO of the eponymous tat-bazaar.

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Headmaster

«[U]nwieldily monikered» ?

Once again the Reg takes pride of place in the use of autological terms. To cite Gilbert and Sullivan, «the very model of a modern Major-General»....

Henri

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Big Brother

What was not said...

""We are determined to make the UK the best place to do business in the world and a great place for technology companies to invest and build new business. It is encouraging to see major tech partners like Intel investing in this country as a result of the policies that the Government has put in place," he self-congratulated."

What was missing in this statement?

Ah yes...Nothing there about serving public interests, protecting citizen rights and freedoms, improving the quality of life for residents, ensuring that privacy isn't invaded in the pursuit of profit, enabling an opt-out facility for those who don't want to be part of the mass surveillance, remaining in accord with EU and International Law....

Smash the cameras. Take back your freedom.

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