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back to article Wi-Fi warping wallpaper hardens homes to hackers

Tinfoil hat wearer? Here's what to slap on your walls: wallpaper that keeps Wi-Fi signals boxed in - and, maybe, alien brain-probe waves out. As you know, setting up a solid Wi-Fi password is never enough: Illuminati aliens can bypass such menial protection techniques. With this Wi-Fi blocking wallpaper, though, hacking into …

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>No protection from Thargoid brain-probe beams, mind

You don't know that.

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But the Thargoids do!

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....and they're not telling!

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The Thargoids are only a problem when your drive fails during a hyperspace jump.

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Thumb Up

And if I remember correctly you could force the Speccy and CPC versions to do that with a key press. Shift+F springs to mind for some reason.

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Terminator

I read that as 'Thatcherite Mind Beams'.

Even scarier non?

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Military Lasers warmed up and ready to go.

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Windows?

Anyone know the metallic content/spectrum blocking potential of the film that nice young gentlemen use on their car windows so they don't frighten passers-by? Failing that how about the metallised foil wrapping paper, that tends to pass some light through.

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Boffin

Re: Windows?

One of our offices has Pilkington K glass, which we didn't know blocks UK mobile signals quite nicely until after it was installed! Annoyingly, it was cheaper than the only slightly more effective specialist material we used to for the screen room in the same building.

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Re: Windows?

All new windows are K glass or an equivalent I doubt very much it is causing your mobile reception problem.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Windows?

He's right - Pilkington flog this as a feature, they do extra coatings for EM Shielding..

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Anonymous Coward

Illuminati aliens can bypass such menial protection techniques

but boy are they screwed with fancy tin foil.

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Purpose

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but I'd imagine the purpose of this is more for avoiding interference (and therefore maximising bandwidth) in increasingly crowded electromagnetic airspace.

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Doesn't come in "pork" flavour

> previous "stealth wallpapers" developed for the defence sector cost roughly £500 per square metre, the researchers reckon rolls of this new decor will be reasonably priced,

It's probably exactly the same stuff, made in the same way by the same people. The only difference is this is closer to the true price, without the added "overheads" of dealing with a government department that has an infinite supply of money at its disposal that it's determined to (over)spend.

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Do they do a non-blocking paper in the same pattern?

If not its going to be a problem to have consistent decor in a room without also blocking the signals between rooms - surely you'd only want this on external walls and not internal ones.

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Linux

It must have been the part of me that is into tinfoil headgear that was glad to see the following statement :

"As long as you cover your windows up too, that is."

phew

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Facepalm

OH NOES! MY DOR IS SEKKURITY RISK YES?

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Facepalm

Panic! Panic!

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Jmz
Pint

Missing the point

I might buy some of this for my neighbours who have channel hopping Sky/BT routers. Then I might actually get a decent wifi signal in my house.

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For avoidance of espionage/paranoia, wouldn't it be cheaper to abandon wi-fi & just run cable throughout your house? There must be a point where this is the cheaper option.

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There must be a point where this is the cheaper option

It would also give you a much faster network.

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jai
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so

not so much good for surfing the web while sitting out in the garden then...

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WTF?

Why?

This will restrict you to using your computer in the same room as the WiFi access point. Would it not be simpler to unplug the network cable from the access point and plug it into your computer?

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Coat

Re: Why?

" Would it not be simpler to unplug the network cable from the access point and plug it into your computer?" -- What? and leave yourself with no internet connection?

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Facepalm

Re: Why?

"and leave yourself with no internet connection?"

By "network cable" I mean the Ethernet cable that connects the wireless access point to the LAN.

If your wireless access point is also your router/DSL modem, then you will have to get another patch cable to connect your computer to the router.

If you have a combined wireless/modem/router that has no Ethernet ports, then you have made an unlucky purchasing decision and you will have to redecorate with the attractive tin wallpaper featured in the article.

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Linux

Re: Why?

Tell me something I don't know. Clearly the humour is lost on you.

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Go

Insulation

All the insulation in my house has a foil covered side as does the outer foam board that's just under the siding. I specified both over twenty years ago when our house was being constructed. Don't you Britishers have these?

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Re: Insulation

Maybe on some types of construction, but most British houses are built from an outer wall of brick and an inner one of concrete blocks. Insulation consists of injecting foam or rockwool between the inner and outer skin - not very easy to add a foil layer to that.

(Timber frame is getting more common, but there's a lot of masonry houses around).

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Re: Insulation

nah we just use bricks and a bit of wool in the attic

is yours wooden?

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Boffin

Re: Insulation

Well actually there are quite a few newer houses that use foil-backed plasterboard on the interior walls. I don't know the real reason why they make that stuff but it can cause havoc when you WANT to get a WIFi signal throughout your house.

The exterior walls though: we make those out of slightly more permanent materials like bricks.

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Headmaster

Re: Insulation

slightly more permanent materials like bricks

I used to live in a five hundred year old house that was built mostly from wood, straw and mud. It seemed pretty permanent to me. We used bricks because we ran out of wood. We use concrete because it's quicker and cheaper. I'm not sure permanence has much to do with it.

Apologies for flying off at a tangent but since the original article is an obvious hoax I thought building techniques might be more interesting. So ... ummm ... what's your favourite recipe for lime render?

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Re: Insulation

On modern builds the insulation comes attached to the breeze blocks and has the foil layer included.

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Pint

Re: Re: Insulation

1:2:4 mix by weight of Shillingstone lime putty, horse hair and sharp sand, with about half a bucket of water per mix. Don't forget to wash down the brickwork first and apply the render whilst the wall is still damp, though, or the render won't stick.

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Re: Insulation

How does that work? Does the insulation extend past the block to overlap the mortar gap?

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Anonymous Coward

This is overkill

Just put your router in a tin box

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Anonymous Coward

Can

it be installed in all cinemas please

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WTF?

IMO

IMO just enable MAC Filtering... ?

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FAIL

Re: IMO

Trouble is, MAC addresses are easy to sniff and spoof if someone is determined to get in. Much safer to get to know your neighbours and then judge their technical abilities.

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WTF?

from the WTF department

"It could make you look a little daft that way, but if you're fitting the walls of your home with Wi-Fi blocking wallpaper, how ridiculous you appear to your fellow peer(s) is probably the least of your worries. ®"

LOL. Exactly that. I vote this for the most pointless product of the year.

As said above, paranoid people are fine, they just need to use optical fibers only. Really tricky to get the signal if not inside your home. Great security. Oh, yes, and they need to read the interweb to know how to disable WIFI on the box/router, which apparently didn't come to the poor minds of the manufacturer of this wallpaper.

Only marginal use of this would be exams rooms or similar places where mobile phones or WIFI are/should be prohibited, but this is a niche market. And that's apparently not the selling point they're betting on ...

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I knew it

People called me mad to stockpile all that zx printer paper, but I'll clean up selling it to paranoid people.

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Re: I knew it

I just got a nasal flashback.

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Re: I knew it

Go to any Stationery shop, buy till receipt paper. I believe that is covered with Iron Oxide. :)

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WTF?

I can't tell from the tone of the article

whether the Reg authors understand that this is bunkum or not.

Please tell me you realise that this is bunkum.

kthxbye

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WTF?

What!?!

My little regional newspaper (Ouest-France) reported this last week.

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Devil

imagine the profit they could make if the sun/mail one day had the headline:

Cyber Alien terrorists have the ability to hack your wifi and steal your facebook password/force porn into your childs brain - rush to protect your walls now

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I had the misfortune to redecorate a 1970s vintage flat and it had this exact wallpaper slapped all over the living room already! I'm calling BS on this - it's clearly just old stock from the bad old days of beige and wood-grain re-branded for the iTwat generation!

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Wrong Way Around!!

This would actually have a use if it kept wifi signals and wiped out GSM/GPRS/3G/4G/etc. You could put it up in cinemas and schools...

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